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(Globe and Mail)   295 kids going to hell because baptisms weren't performed properly   ( globeandmail.com) divider line
    More: Stupid  
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12130 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jan 2003 at 3:43 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

252 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-01-14 03:24:52 PM  
Wow, what a great story to read to your kids before they go to bed tonight!
2003-01-14 03:33:57 PM  
"G'night honey, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite, someone screwed up on you baptism so you'll surely burn in all hell fire for eternity till your chared flesh is twisting and wrything.

See you in the morning light."
2003-01-14 03:44:49 PM  
Well, obviously, their parents didn't love them...
2003-01-14 03:46:52 PM  
"We've always been told that if you're not baptized, you're not a Catholic, so it meant our kids didn't have a religion. If the kids weren't baptized, they'd be in limbo if they die,"

These people believe everything they are told, eh?
2003-01-14 03:46:59 PM  
Why does it matter who poured holy water on the kids' heads? That's not what it's about!! Crazy Catholics. Sheesh.
2003-01-14 03:47:40 PM  
SUE!!! SUE!!! SUE!!!
2003-01-14 03:48:17 PM  
Man, that's such BS! They should convert to protestant and not wory about it.
2003-01-14 03:48:19 PM  
Ooh, a chance to easilly flame the Church on Fark? How novel!
2003-01-14 03:48:31 PM  
Can the "Quizzical Cannine" help them?
2003-01-14 03:48:32 PM  
[image from northbay-canine.org too old to be available]

Come to me, quizzical dog.
2003-01-14 03:48:41 PM  
I remember my Christaning. It hurt like hell when the priest busted that bottle of champange across my head. (expect a berating from spell Czech)
2003-01-14 03:48:41 PM  
when it comes to rituals, i prefer obsessive handwashing to religious rites.
2003-01-14 03:48:49 PM  
Are the molestations over?
2003-01-14 03:48:51 PM  
Yet another example of Catholic priests screwing up a bunch of kids.
2003-01-14 03:49:15 PM  
They were probably all going to be going to hell anyways.
2003-01-14 03:49:37 PM  
People should just grow up, and stop living their lives in fear of an invisible, make believe Sky Daddy.
2003-01-14 03:49:40 PM  
Whew! Good thing I wasn't baptized!
2003-01-14 03:49:43 PM  
Yet another example of Catholic priests screwing (up) a bunch of kids.
2003-01-14 03:49:58 PM  
I don't know why this is so funny.
But it is.
2003-01-14 03:50:00 PM  
Poorly performed baptisms make Baby Jesus cry.
2003-01-14 03:50:00 PM  
"You mean our kids baptism... came off? That's it. I'm dousing the brats in Klear-cote."
2003-01-14 03:50:10 PM  
If the kids weren't baptized, they'd be in limbo if they die


Santa Clause is real though. Believe ye in him, and you shall be saved. Oh, don't forget to put your tooth under your pillow so the Tooth Fairy gives you some cash for it.
2003-01-14 03:50:10 PM  
just a catholic ploy to get the youngsters in there!
2003-01-14 03:50:31 PM  
Heh, I was baptized twice, so the sky god is paying EXTRA special attention to me.
2003-01-14 03:51:35 PM  
I want to see them sue the Church so that I can see a jury try to place a value on momentarily having potentially sent someone to a fictional place.
2003-01-14 03:51:46 PM  
"We've always been told that if you're not baptized, you're not a Catholic, so it meant our kids didn't have a religion.

Gee. I always thought religion was something you held in your hearts and minds. Saying that because of a technicality you "don't have religion" is just plain silly.

Wait! Sorry, we're talking RELIGION here... Riiiiiiiight.

2003-01-14 03:51:56 PM  
Ahhhh, being a protestant rules on two counts now:

1) i can wear a condom
2) baptism is optional
2003-01-14 03:51:57 PM  
Everybody LIMBO!
[image from pompanojoes.com too old to be available]
2003-01-14 03:52:07 PM  
Hell for children...

[image from tvvideos.com too old to be available]

...or a sleep over at Pete Townsend's house.
2003-01-14 03:52:12 PM  
well shiat might as well kill yourselves now and get it over with then..
no point having a life if it is just going to end with an eternity of hellfire.
2003-01-14 03:52:28 PM  
It doesn't matter anyway. The Mormons are baptising everyone posthumously so they can get into heaven. Hitler's there already.
2003-01-14 03:52:37 PM  
Don't they have those "Emergency Baptism Kits" like Ned Flanders uses?
2003-01-14 03:52:56 PM  

the name reminds me of the joke of what the chinese couple named their baby after finding out it was mentally challenged... Sum Ting Wong....
2003-01-14 03:53:01 PM  
HAH, I can't believe anyone still believes in salvationist religions nowadays. Doesn't anyone pay attention to scientific findings/read?
2003-01-14 03:53:03 PM  
Well, that's what you get for believing such nonsense.
2003-01-14 03:53:23 PM  
I'll save them a nice warm seat next to me.

2003-01-14 03:53:32 PM  
Turns out that in Boston, concerned priests have been dousing the kids faces with "holy water" for years.....
2003-01-14 03:54:26 PM  
"Starting in 1991, the lay person who officiated mistakenly let the parents pour holy water on their children's forehead while she pronounced blessings."

Damn women
2003-01-14 03:54:37 PM  
Sombody's going to put out a contract on the old biddy that blew the whistle.

Just like an old fart to put their nose in where it really wasn't wanted or needed.
2003-01-14 03:54:42 PM  
I was never baptised. Good thing, cuz I don't think I'd like life as a baptist.
2003-01-14 03:54:52 PM  
Yeah, I think the Catholic Church should kinda give this to them as a freebie. They've done enough to the kids already; I think they owe them one.
2003-01-14 03:55:19 PM  
[image from mrnick.binary9.net too old to be available]

Not-so-quizzical dog
2003-01-14 03:55:47 PM  
Also they're still vulnerable to vampires.. zombies and mummies shouldn't be a problem, though..
2003-01-14 03:55:49 PM  
[image from home.kc.rr.com too old to be available]
2003-01-14 03:55:51 PM  
If the kids weren't baptized, they'd be in limbo if they die
[image from mightyjambo.com too old to be available]
2003-01-14 03:56:15 PM  
The kids are going straight to hell :
[image from home.bluemarble.net too old to be available]
2003-01-14 03:56:54 PM  
Quizzical Canine is the best cliche' EVER!!!!
2003-01-14 03:57:23 PM  
Henchman That picture is sublime. Praise dog!
2003-01-14 03:57:29 PM  
I guess some alert parent realized that the baptizing Priest standing in front of a Glory Hole wasn't part of the Official Vatican Procedure (TM).
2003-01-14 03:57:36 PM  
Ahhhh, being a protestant rules on two counts now

it may be easier, but you're still living in a fantasy world!

religion is religion (i.e. dumb is dumb).

this may be un-PC in these catholic bashing days, but it always makes me laugh when one religion makes fun of another. like when jewish people say, "right, like god somehow had invisible sex with mary and had jesus!! right, like that could ever happen. no, jesus was just one of the many prophets who could foretell some of those everyday, normal acts of god happening in the old testament."

let's face it... jesus was pot smoker, and moses was schizophrenic.
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