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(NCBuy)   Elderly sick and tired of being portrayed as feeble and weak, ready to kick some ass   ( ncbuy.com) divider line
    More: Cool  
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4539 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jan 2003 at 6:38 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

43 Comments     (+0 »)
2003-01-14 04:35:48 AM  
I asked one of the old guys I work with about this. He put in his false teeth, hitched up his depends and said "You know, when I was a lad, young wippersnappers like you respected your elders, or the Kaiser made you walk seventeen miles in the snow wearing an onion on your belt, which was the style at the time, and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."
2003-01-14 06:42:55 AM  
"nearly 67 percent hate ads that portray them as "out of touch" geezers"

just because you wear plaid shirts with striped pants and a pok-a-dot tie... and the youngens think your out of touch, geeze..
2003-01-14 06:44:42 AM  
Yeah. This old guy in a pub was coming on all tough and cool to me once, like he's The Man. He says to me - get this - "A pint of bitter please young man - your best local brew.", so I'm over that bar I'm in his face and he is DOWN! He's all bleeding and schytt, trying to act like he's not getting up, so I give him a couple more and one in the head for good luck - man - they had to pull him away, crying like a girl after I'd dealt with the fvcker.
2003-01-14 06:45:31 AM  
Why do old people still get up at 7-8am everyday? Why can't they lie in like a normal person would.
2003-01-14 06:47:35 AM  
And I fvcking do him again if he comes back in here.
2003-01-14 06:48:18 AM  
Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum!!
2003-01-14 06:55:43 AM  
Remember kids, they're not "old coots" - they're "coffin-dodgers".
2003-01-14 07:00:48 AM  
We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. 'Give me five bees for a quarter,' you'd say.

Now where were we? Oh yeah - the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
2003-01-14 07:05:14 AM  
"61 percent of oldsters are willing to boycott products that use 'anti-oldster' ad campaigns"

And 88% are willing to smash in your teeth if you call 'em "oldster."
2003-01-14 07:07:49 AM  
Keep grandad fit by putting speed in his food and telling him the bosche are at the gate.
2003-01-14 07:16:48 AM  
Jay-Tea, I'm guessing you don't work? Most of us have to be at work by 8am (which in my case means getting up at 5:30am)
2003-01-14 07:29:07 AM  
[image from black-sabbath.com too old to be available]
2003-01-14 07:55:13 AM  
[image from rebirthman.de too old to be available]

It's cold, and there are wolves after me...
2003-01-14 07:55:41 AM  
[image from velocity.net too old to be available]
I'm gonna beat your ass you young punk!
2003-01-14 08:07:15 AM  
The best part about getting a blowjob off your granny is that she can take her teeth out.
2003-01-14 08:12:34 AM  
61 percent of oldsters are willing to boycott products that use "anti-oldster" ad campaigns.

[image from natfoods.com.au too old to be available]

2003-01-14 08:12:52 AM  
HAHAHAHAHA.... I went to Ball State. I see they are doing earth shattering research....
2003-01-14 08:33:08 AM  
This is an awesome oldster generation.....we were brought up on the real rock and roll.. we were educated....we are in shape we do things.....in other words we are set to rule the poor little youngster generation that knows only game boy and how to scream and cry........rock on
2003-01-14 08:36:12 AM  
Really? Huh. The only oldsters I see in commercials are the ones farking up their grandkids' spelling bees and dancing feebly around Disney World saying, "I'm young! Really! I am! No really, I am! Listen you, I am the FIRST Disney Generation, and we kicked Hitler's ASS in the War, and you owe us... oooo, look - ice cream!"

Either that, or there's this creepy old fark in an investment company commercial (I think it's local) who's sitting in a swing watching his granddaughter's barely-covered ass as she plays - he opens his arms and she runs into them, turning her body subtly side-to-side, rubbing against his crotch while he gives the camera this incredibly sleazy leer...

So - how would they like to be protrayed, anyway? Like the grandma in the dishwashing detergent commercial who feeds the kids cake for lunch, beats them at video games, etc.?
2003-01-14 08:43:28 AM  
They had it better than you will. Now who is laughing.
2003-01-14 08:43:57 AM  
Emphasis on "sick and tired"
2003-01-14 08:49:14 AM  
01-14-03 07:16:48 AM Logweasel
Jay-Tea, I'm guessing you don't work? Most of us have to be at work by 8am (which in my case means getting up at 5:30am)

I do work but this is about people who have retired. So, I ask again, why do they get up at 8am?
2003-01-14 08:51:06 AM  
I wish I had a grampa like Grampa Simpson. He rocks.
2003-01-14 08:51:10 AM  
New "Oops I crapped my pants"! Now with convienient onion holster! Stylish and absorbant.
2003-01-14 09:05:10 AM  
New "Oops I crapped my pants". Onion holster includes change pouch that holds 5 "bees". Available in regular and thermal lining for those 17 mile snow marches. At the Shelbyville Wal-mart and Target. Ask the greeter, he's probably wearing them!
2003-01-14 09:12:59 AM  
*insert Fightin' Hellfish reference here*
2003-01-14 09:22:38 AM  
Bring it on old dudes!!!
2003-01-14 09:24:30 AM  
Is it just me or does anyone else think the Gen Y-Xers aren't aging very well? I go into a bar and some of these 20-30 somethings look farken rough for their age; when they get to be 40 it's going to be one scary scene.
2003-01-14 09:41:12 AM  
Sounds like they're all goofed up on steroids and Geritol. I'd stay out of their way.
2003-01-14 09:41:39 AM  
So they are going to start to boycott products that portray them as old and feeble. Let me think we have too many old people as it is??? Mmmm should the exec stop those youth orientated adverts or not. Perhaps if we have enough the old people will buy nothing, starve and die out at a reasonable age. Instead of holding on until they're in their hundreds.
2003-01-14 10:24:33 AM  
back in the old day we called banana's "big yellow fatty beans"
2003-01-14 11:28:06 AM  
You know someone's old when they refer to a fruit you've never eaten before or never heard of before - like a pomegranate or a persimmon.
2003-01-14 11:29:36 AM  
This old fart managed to kick some ass when he needed to:
[image from mindeclipse.com too old to be available]
That's Bruce Wayne from Batman Beyond for those wondering
2003-01-14 11:42:04 AM  
Jay-Tea: For you.

As the body ages, its circadian rhythm, or internal sleep regulator, changes. This makes older people wake up at five a.m. and grow sleepy in the afternoons. The need for eight to nine hours of sleep does not change. Unfortunately, those hours become spread out throughout the day, so that by the time nine o'clock rolls around, you've already spent your "sleep allowance" sitting in a chair during daylight hours, rather than lying comfortably in bed at night.

From this article.

hope i did my html right...
2003-01-14 11:42:39 AM  
gah! I swear I closed the italics. grr.
2003-01-14 11:54:57 AM  
From the desk of Grampa Simpson:

I am disgusted with the way old people are depicted on television. We are not all vibrant, fun-loving sex maniacs. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals, who remember the good old days, when entertainment was bland an inoffensive.
2003-01-14 02:58:53 PM  
Yeah, as long as they can go off and protest having to pay property taxes so "other peoples kids" can go to school; selfish, ignorant, catered-to, whining, jerks.
I am 39, and have no children yet I pay for "other peoples kids" to go to school. I am on a fixed income as well, same salary as last year, no COLA here. Also, I do recall paying something called Social Security taxes to support these old bastards medical bills while my insurance company explains that they won't pay for something else.
2003-01-14 02:59:19 PM  
Old.... is a frame of mind and an attitude. Old is when your
get up and go got up and went. I have lots of great
examples of how to be when I get old... the best one is
our oldest instructor, he'll be seventy next year. very
active, always doing something BESIDES sitting on the couch
watching the tv. Or there's my dad, he's 86 now, and spends
too much time watching tv. but at this point exercise hurts,
so where do you draw the line?

I was one of those people for whom life began getting good
after thirty. and it doesn't look to get worse any time
soon- and I have all that experience to back me up.
2003-01-14 03:05:23 PM  
Goatboy 20,

C'mon. Right now!
2003-01-14 03:52:47 PM  
What about the grandpa in the whipped cream commercial who shows his granddaughter "how they used to do it" by squirting the whipped cream in his mouth? That portrays old people as cool!

I like the old guy in the fudge Oreo commercial. "What the?!"
2003-01-14 05:41:13 PM  
yeah, whatever.

old people suck, that's all there is to it.
2003-01-14 06:40:31 PM  
life imitates art?. . . . didnt anyone else see the old Highway to Heaven rerun when a bunch of old geezers DRESSUP UP LIKE TV HEROES and stopped the local street gang? . . . . . . .now that comedy!
2003-01-14 10:24:05 PM  
Lets go you old farkers!!!! You want a piece of me?!

*Stands up, remembers he is an old farker and sits back down*
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