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(MSNBC)   "Churches: Chocolate Jesus is 'tasteless.'" Marshmallow Muhammed and Peanut Butter Buddha, on the other hand, pronounced excellent   (msnbc.msn.com) divider line
    More: Amusing  
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3320 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Nov 2008 at 6:36 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



87 Comments     (+0 »)


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2008-11-26 5:25:50 PM  
The Rancid Butter Shiva has some serious kick to it.
 
2008-11-26 5:26:16 PM  
"Hmmmmmmm.....sacrilicious.....ahhhrrllgghhh...."
 
2008-11-26 5:33:13 PM  
No one is buying my Zoroaster Zagnut bars :(
 
2008-11-26 5:34:08 PM  
I dunno, the church may be making yet another mistake here. This type of thing could really boost communion attendance. Besides after 2000 years, the faithful are bound to be getting tired of Jeezits.

media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 
2008-11-26 5:41:12 PM  
Devil Bunnies! I snort the nose Lucifer! BANANA BANANA
 
2008-11-26 5:41:57 PM  
Mmmmm, sacrilicious.
 
2008-11-26 5:47:37 PM  
img296.imageshack.us
"Take this, and eat it. This is my body."
 
2008-11-26 6:20:05 PM  
He flows like the big muddy, but thats ok. Pour him over ice cream
for a nice parfait.
 
2008-11-26 6:25:23 PM  
I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I got my chocolate Jesus
Sittin' on the dashboard of my car...
 
2008-11-26 6:40:49 PM  
Christ on a cracker, if the candy is tasteless you think that's a problem with the *shape*? Try using a better quality of chocolate and it'll be much more tasteful.
 
2008-11-26 6:41:35 PM  
Sweet Jesus!
 
2008-11-26 6:42:07 PM  
It's got to be chocolate jesus
makes me feel good inside
big 'ol chocolate jesus
keeps me satisfied
 
2008-11-26 6:42:40 PM  
wiretotheear.comView Full Size


Happens to love chocolate jesuses.
 
2008-11-26 6:42:50 PM  
Don't get Hindu the chocolate Jesus. It'll make you Seik.
 
2008-11-26 6:43:30 PM  

CrankMyBlueSax: I dunno, the church may be making yet another mistake here. This type of thing could really boost communion attendance. Besides after 2000 years, the faithful are bound to be getting tired of Jeezits.


They actually do sell the wafers as candy. At least here in Mexico, and they put cajeta in them.

/Mmmm, obleas
 
2008-11-26 6:43:51 PM  

randomstranger: Happens to love chocolate jesuses.


Came here to post THIS.

/well done
 
2008-11-26 6:44:31 PM  
I keep telling you people:

Bacon Jesus is where it's at.
 
2008-11-26 6:44:38 PM  

kicker_conspiracy: It's got to be chocolate jesus
makes me feel good inside
big 'ol chocolate jesus
keeps me satisfied


Damn you, kicker. Well played.

For the others, here's the full shebang:

Dont go to church on sunday
Dont get on my knees to pray
Dont memorize the books of the bible
I got my own special way
Bit I know jesus loves me
Maybe just a little bit more

I fall on my knees every sunday
At zerelda lees candy store

Well its got to be a chocolate jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate jesus
Keep me satisfied

Well I dont want no anna zabba
Dont want no almond joy
There aint nothing better
Suitable for this boy
Well its the only thing
That can pick me up
Better than a cup of gold
See only a chocolate jesus
Can satisfy my soul

When the weather gets rough
And its whiskey in the shade
Its best to wrap your savior
Up in cellophane
He flows like the big muddy
But thats ok
Pour him over ice cream
For a nice parfait

Well its got to be a chocolate jesus
Good enough for me
Got to be a chocolate jesus
Good enough for me

Well its got to be a chocolate jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate jesus
Keep me satisfied
 
2008-11-26 6:45:25 PM  
Well I dont want no anna zabba
Dont want no almond joy
There aint nothing better
Suitable for this boy
Well its the only thing
That can pick me up
Better than a cup of gold
See only a chocolate jesus
Can satisfy my soul
 
2008-11-26 6:46:16 PM  
They're just pissed because he isn't made of white chocolate. Freakin' Germans.
 
2008-11-26 6:46:39 PM  
really though, we love santa and the easter bunny, but we eat chocolate versions of them too. what's the difference?
 
2008-11-26 6:46:58 PM  
If god exists, I suspect he sounds a lot like Tom Waits.
 
2008-11-26 6:50:28 PM  
You got your Peanut Butter Buddha in my Chocolate Jesus!
 
2008-11-26 6:54:10 PM  
Too much Jeebus chocolate will give you the Shiites...
 
2008-11-26 6:54:19 PM  
Was He all crumbly with that white stuff on it?

/Sacrilicious
 
2008-11-26 6:54:32 PM  

randomstranger: If god exists, I suspect he sounds a lot like Tom Waits.


Got to have a Chocolate Jesus
To keep me satisfied....
(new window)
 
2008-11-26 6:56:38 PM  
If you bury the empty wrapper under a rock, then uncover it after three days, will it be full of chocolate again?
 
2008-11-26 6:56:59 PM  
I don't see the problem. I eat spaghetti and meatballs all the time.
 
2008-11-26 6:59:52 PM  
A Tom Waits thread makes me feel good again about Fark.
 
2008-11-26 7:02:44 PM  
farm3.static.flickr.comView Full Size


Jesus can't eat them.
 
2008-11-26 7:02:48 PM  
sacri-DEElishuss!
 
2008-11-26 7:04:48 PM  
"My ass hurts"

"What?"
 
2008-11-26 7:06:50 PM  
They are pissed becuase they are not making any money off of them that's it. You can name so many other cheezy, tasteless religious items endorced and sold by the Vatican and other religious authorities that they profit from.

-I know it's not new for any church to take a hypocritical stance but everyone is just telling jokes in this thread so far. Just balancing it out.
 
2008-11-26 7:08:45 PM  
[image from theartofdylan.com too old to be available]

Chocolate Rain > Chocolate Jesus

/Sacriligously delicious
 
2008-11-26 7:09:13 PM  
I came here for the Waits. I'm leaving satisfied.
 
2008-11-26 7:15:55 PM  
Ah man, I knew I'd be beaten to all the Tom Waits references.
 
2008-11-26 7:20:29 PM  
Jesus melts in your mouth not in your hands
 
2008-11-26 7:20:56 PM  
That's right, 'cause Jesus should taste like human flesh.
 
2008-11-26 7:22:51 PM  

Xomber: That's right, 'cause Jesus should taste like human flesh.


Right. Those naked priests were all just performing "Quality Control." Can't know what flesh tastes like unless....
 
2008-11-26 7:22:55 PM  
Came to post Tom Waits, saw I didn't have to, congratulates all those nighthawks who came before him.

Good job
 
2008-11-26 7:27:25 PM  
gis for peanut butter buddha bud is successful


i208.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
2008-11-26 7:27:51 PM  
yay tom waits
 
2008-11-26 7:30:19 PM  
Good on the church for making a huge deal of the whole situation, ensuring that everyone else in the western world will both hear about the delicious Jesuses, and find out how to purchase them.
 
2008-11-26 7:34:02 PM  
Hobodeluxe Quote 2008-11-26 07:27:25 PM
gis for peanut butter buddha bud is successful


i208.photobucket.comView Full Size


Wow, that takes me back.......sticky and stanky....

Just a couple of these:

broadwayhandicrafts.comView Full Size


and you're good to go.......

crap, did I say that?
 
2008-11-26 7:34:48 PM  
Jesus was taffy, you goddamned blasphemers.
 
2008-11-26 7:41:15 PM  
Darn,I thought I'd be the first with a Tom Waits' reference.
Hold On, I've got a Downtown Train to catch in 23 minutes
 
2008-11-26 7:48:03 PM  
I always thought the song went "...don't want no Abba Zabba".
Oh well. You live you learn.
 
2008-11-26 7:48:37 PM  
paskewich.typepad.comView Full Size


Jesus has a mighty pointy beard. Kinda makes me think more of Sir Guy of Gisbourne.
 
2008-11-26 7:49:37 PM  
I don't care if it rains or freezes
long as I got my chocolate Jesus
meltin on the dashboard of my car...
 
2008-11-26 7:50:52 PM  

Foaming: You got your Peanut Butter Buddha in my Chocolate Jesus!


Enjoy delicious Reese's Unitarian Cups!
 
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