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(Some Guy)   Teacher brings nonvenomous snake to school. "Nonvenomous" of course being defined as "he'll bite you and you'll die." If you can guess what happened next, your Fark Fu is strong   (kltv.com) divider line
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7843 clicks; posted to Fandom » on 21 Oct 2008 at 8:06 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2008-10-21 4:35:37 PM  
Great story, but the headline needs to be edited.

"Brings snake to school."
 
2008-10-21 4:46:01 PM  
Take it snake to snake, rockin' through the world, oh yeaaaah!
 
2008-10-21 4:48:54 PM  
"Snake to snake" is the gay version of "ass to ass"
 
2008-10-21 4:56:27 PM  
There is a mistake in the headline, I think it should read "Teacher brings nonvenomous school to school,..."
 
2008-10-21 5:01:17 PM  
"water moccasin"

A cottonmouth? In the south? No farkin' way you misidentify that for a common water snake.

Those farkers are so mean, I'm surprised it didn't break the glass tank, eat the class hamster, then perch itself above the door waiting for the first poor soul to enter the room.
 
2008-10-21 5:09:18 PM  

The_Sofa_of_Death: There is a mistake in the headline, I think it should read "Teacher brings nonvenomous school to school,..."


No, the teacher didn't bring the snake to the school; a student did. The teacher misidentified the snake and then students put another snake with it. So, snake to snake.

/kind of like a joke
//kind of
///not subby
 
2008-10-21 5:18:18 PM  

Hubert Sumlin: No, the teacher didn't bring the snake to the school; a student did. The teacher misidentified the snake and then students put another snake with it. So, snake to snake.


Ah, thanks. I should RTFA occasionally :)
 
2008-10-21 5:37:36 PM  
What, no badgers?

badgerbadgerbadger
 
2008-10-21 5:56:30 PM  
Our Field Bio teachers bring lots of crazy critters to school. I'd hate for that to stop.
 
2008-10-21 5:56:43 PM  
Fellows: A cottonmouth? In the south? No farkin' way you misidentify that for a common water snake.

Hell, you should be able to tell it's a water moccasin from the smell alone.

And how the hell do you confuse this:
majhost.comView Full Size


For this:
majhost.comView Full Size
 
2008-10-21 6:08:08 PM  

timujin: Fellows: A cottonmouth? In the south? No farkin' way you misidentify that for a common water snake.

Hell, you should be able to tell it's a water moccasin from the smell alone.

And how the hell do you confuse this:


For this:


I've never seen (or smelled) one before and they look pretty similar. You never know what's going on in someones head. The teacher could be high on OxyCottonMouth and not know what's what.
 
2008-10-21 6:10:23 PM  

timujin: Fellows: A cottonmouth? In the south? No farkin' way you misidentify that for a common water snake.

Hell, you should be able to tell it's a water moccasin from the smell alone.

And how the hell do you confuse this:


For this:


Hmmm. They both look like snakes to me.

Did the two snakes actually get to meet? Or were the kids venomized before that could happen?

Didn't the teacher bring the venomous snake?
 
2008-10-21 6:28:53 PM  
Tr0mBoNe: I've never seen (or smelled) one before and they look pretty similar. You never know what's going on in someones head. The teacher could be high on OxyCottonMouth and not know what's what.

Atypical Person Reading Fark: Hmmm. They both look like snakes to me.

Water moccasins smell like cucumber. If you're ever out in the woods and you smell cucumber, be very careful, as they are also very territorial and will come after you (if they don't fall on you from overhead branches).

Any biology teacher that can't tell the difference between a venomous and nonvenomous snake in general, much less the difference between a rat snake and water moccasin specifically, should have their license yanked.
 
2008-10-21 6:44:35 PM  

timujin: Any biology teacher that can't tell the difference between a venomous and nonvenomous snake in general, much less the difference between a rat snake and water moccasin specifically, should have their license yanked.


My biology teacher was also the gym teacher. A perfect world it is not.
 
2008-10-21 7:11:37 PM  
hmm, other than the diamond shaped head, vertical cornea, pits, white patches in the mouth, and extreme difference in muscularity, I'd say they look exactly alike.

/water moccasins scare the shiat outta me. Big mean bastards.
 
2008-10-21 7:47:53 PM  

timujin: Fellows: A cottonmouth? In the south? No farkin' way you misidentify that for a common water snake.

Hell, you should be able to tell it's a water moccasin from the smell alone.

And how the hell do you confuse this:


For this:


Snake sniffer.

/;-)
 
2008-10-21 8:03:38 PM  
FTA: The snakes began fighting, and when one of the students reached in to remove the rat snake, he was bitten by the water moccasin. Another student attempted to help the other boy, and was bitten himself.

In what scenario do you need to reach in to the snake tank to help your friend who just got bitten and has probably recoiled from the surprise?

Or was he "helping" him by doing the same stupid action as his friend?

Kids are dumb.
 
2008-10-21 8:19:07 PM  

Fellows: "water moccasin"

A cottonmouth? In the south? No farkin' way you misidentify that for a common water snake.

Those farkers are so mean, I'm surprised it didn't break the glass tank, eat the class hamster, then perch itself above the door waiting for the first poor soul to enter the room.


Yeah, I was bringing a whole lotta THIS to the thread. Who in the hell mistakes a water moccasin for ANYTHING else? Not to mention, what the fark were those two idiots doing putting another snake in the tank?
 
2008-10-21 8:28:29 PM  

timujin: Fellows: A cottonmouth? In the south? No farkin' way you misidentify that for a common water snake.

Hell, you should be able to tell it's a water moccasin from the smell alone.

And how the hell do you confuse this:


For this:


And how the hell do you confuse a black rat snake with a common water snake?
 
2008-10-21 8:40:42 PM  

timujin: Fellows: A cottonmouth? In the south? No farkin' way you misidentify that for a common water snake.

Hell, you should be able to tell it's a water moccasin from the smell alone.

And how the hell do you confuse this:


For this:


Me boggle also, having grown up with them around. Head shape is totally different, water moccasins have the spade-shaped asp-type I'm gonna poison your ass head.
 
2008-10-21 8:42:15 PM  
Alabama black snake?
 
2008-10-21 8:53:55 PM  
All Animals Should Be Banned From Schools!1

Think of teh Childrens!
 
2008-10-21 9:00:31 PM  
I'm no marine biologist, but this guy plays one on TV...

upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size



//no freaking way any moderately competent person misidentifies the two snakes. This guy needs to learn to use GIS.
 
2008-10-21 9:01:18 PM  
I grabbed one of those bad boys out of a bait bucket on a fishing trip. He had snuck in to snack on the minnows and I grabbed him pretty close to the middle.

Boy, was I surprised to feel that. I yanked my hand out quickly and it slithered back off into the water. What a scary experience. Those are nasty snakes.
 
2008-10-21 9:18:32 PM  

queezyweezel: hmm, other than the diamond shaped head, vertical cornea, pits, white patches in the mouth, and extreme difference in muscularity, I'd say they look exactly alike.

/water moccasins scare the shiat outta me. Big mean bastards.


East Texas boy here, originally, and yes - they make diamondbacks look like cute, cuddly pets.
 
2008-10-21 9:21:07 PM  
You know, being fark, I expected at least one penis comment so far, and came to be dissappointed. But after realizing what tag it is under, not so much.

My penis has the same qualities as the water moccasin, funny shaped head, lots of mucsle, and ready to bit at will (also vertical cornea, but only 1)
 
2008-10-21 9:32:52 PM  

timujin: Fellows: A cottonmouth? In the south? No farkin' way you misidentify that for a common water snake.

Hell, you should be able to tell it's a water moccasin from the smell alone.


The difference is in the eyes.

Any snake with Elliptical eyes is epic fail if you're wearing shorts
 
2008-10-21 9:35:21 PM  
Teacher probably hates the kids and was playing dumb.
 
2008-10-21 9:35:22 PM  
Stupid science classes. If only they had more of a faith based education, those kids would've been taught that they are impervious to venom and could have safely handled the snakes.

less biology and more good old fashioned bible in our schools please.
 
2008-10-21 9:37:17 PM  
Black Snake Moan? Well, did they?
 
2008-10-21 9:52:05 PM  
Wer iz snakecat? I caem 2 thred lukin 4 him.

/Sry, grl on mi facebook n i started talkin lolcat. Iz infectious, akshully.
 
2008-10-21 9:52:58 PM  
ratemyeverything.netView Full Size


Nvmind, I has a google.
 
2008-10-21 9:57:25 PM  
People commonly misidentify snakes where I live, but usually the other way around. Example:
"OMG a water moccasin, KILL IT WITH FIRE!!"
No, that's a king snake, those are good.
"OMG a water moccasin, NUKE IT FROM ORBIT!!"
No, that's just a yellow belly. Harmless.
"Holy shiat a water moccasin, EVERYBODY PANIC!"
That's a weiner dog, etc., etc..
 
2008-10-21 10:07:37 PM  
One of the few pieces of wisdom,(which I have never needed to use) from elementary school that I remember is how to tell the difference between a poisonous coral snake and a non-poisonous similar looking protected snake on the Endangered Species list:

Red to Black, Good for Jack!
Red to Yellow, So long fellow!


/sounds lame, but may do some of you more outdoorsy Farkers some good.
 
2008-10-21 11:02:18 PM  
Sounds about right for a teacher...any union employee, really.

/dnrtfa
 
2008-10-21 11:03:38 PM  

Tr0mBoNe: timujin:

I've never seen (or smelled) one before and they look pretty similar. You never know what's going on in someones head. The teacher could be high on OxyCottonMouth and not know what's what.


It's easy, the cottonmouth is the one chasing you. Or it's the one that has already bitten you 3-4 times.
 
2008-10-21 11:26:49 PM  
Strangely enough, I happen to work with the sister of one of these kids, so I got to hear this story kind of second hand today. Apparently this snake had been handled many times and never bitten anyone, and the teacher just had no clue. Whoops.

Best part is, after it happened, the school wouldn't even drive these kids to the hospital, and they had to drive themselves.

/can you say, "lawsuit" ?
 
2008-10-21 11:43:49 PM  

trillium13: Strangely enough, I happen to work with the sister of one of these kids, so I got to hear this story kind of second hand today. Apparently this snake had been handled many times and never bitten anyone, and the teacher just had no clue. Whoops.

Best part is, after it happened, the school wouldn't even drive these kids to the hospital, and they had to drive themselves.

/can you say, "lawsuit" ?


Sooooo...they don't have ambulances there? Weird.

Very disappointed that nobody has posted this .
 
2008-10-21 11:48:52 PM  

bookelly: Sooooo...they don't have ambulances there? Weird.


Well, seeing as how the snake was "non-venomous", what was the rush? I wasn't there, but got the impression that this was the attitude taken.
 
2008-10-22 12:04:28 AM  

Atypical Person Reading Fark: Hmmm. They both look like snakes to me.

Did the two snakes actually get to meet? Or were the kids venomized before that could happen?

Didn't the teacher bring the venomous snake?


Water Moccasins are pretty aggressive (for snakes). The first clue to the kids finding the snake that something was amiss should have been the fact that thier "friendly snake" was constantly trying to kill them. I have been around 1 water moccasin and dozens of rattlesnakes. If you make no movement toward a rattlesnake it will warn you and if you hold still long enough, completely farking ignore you. A moccasin will chase your ass down, one out in the wild I ran into actually was chasing our boat for a bit apparently ready to kick our asses.

From a few personal encounters I would honestly say that I would rather wake up and find a rattlesnake resting on top of me than look over and see a moccasin on the other side of the room. In all my encounters I have seen one person bit (about 15 times to the boot) by a rattlesnake (lilguy), mind you he stepped toward the car in the dark and ended up standing on the poor bastard. Soon as I held down his head so my bud could bolt the snake left us alone when we backed off. Cottenmouth woulda been looking for street cred or something.

FTFA:
the water moccasin had been brought in earlier in the year by some students and was misidentified by the teacher, who thought it was a water snake.

Send that poor bastard back to school.

Yesterday, some of the students found a rat snake, which they attempted to put into the aquarium with the water moccasin. The snakes began fighting, and when one of the students reached in to remove the rat snake, he was bitten by the water moccasin. Another student attempted to help the other boy, and was bitten himself.

And the poor rat snake just wanted to get the hell outa there before he became the prison biatch.
 
2008-10-22 12:31:54 AM  
...I'm confused. How in the fark did the kids manage to catch the damn thing in the first place? Would anyone PLEASE tell me that.

/handled a Savannah Monitor in high school
//Mean as hell.
///Would not want to mess with a venomous snake variety.
 
2008-10-22 12:34:15 AM  
Here's a brillian idea: If you find something in your yard and it has no legs but is still able to move and feed itself,
LEAVE IT THE FARK ALONE

 
2008-10-22 12:35:07 AM  

Fellows: "water moccasin"

A cottonmouth? In the south? No farkin' way you misidentify that for a common water snake.

Those farkers are so mean, I'm surprised it didn't break the glass tank, eat the class hamster, then perch itself above the door waiting for the first poor soul to enter the room.


Which picture is the brown water snake and which is the cotton mouth?
[image from fapms.org too old to be available]

marietta.eduView Full Size


We have both around where I live and they are damn hard to tell apart. The brown water snake even has a white mouth like the water moccasin. TYPICALLY, the head is slightly less "viper" like, its a little thinner length/width wise, and like others said the eyes are different. The water snake tends to flee where as the cotton mouth will bite you just for spite. I think its a great case of mimicry for protection. Everybody knows not to fark with a cotton mouth. I keep my distance from both.

The top one is the water snake.
 
2008-10-22 12:41:12 AM  
Cottonmouths are some of the meanest snakes around. Most snakes will run (slither) in the other direction if you are making noise as you are walking or otherwise traversing. Cottonmouths will come over to see what the ruckus is and then bite you when they get there.
 
2008-10-22 2:58:02 AM  
I spent some time down in chattanooga and everyone and their mom swears they've seen water moccasins there. Bullshiat, they've seen Banded Water Snakes and didn't know the difference :-D

[image from southalley.com too old to be available]

[image from s190.photobucket.com too old to be available]

They're really easy to misidentify if you don't know exactly what to look for. For me, easiest thing is the eyes. Pit vipers have cat-like eyes. That includes: cottonmouths, rattle snakes and copperheads.
 
2008-10-22 3:03:18 AM  

Learned Louisianian: Here's a brillian idea: If you find something in your yard and it has no legs but is still able to move and feed itself, LEAVE IT THE FARK ALONE


But I like masturbating...
 
2008-10-22 3:54:27 AM  

Barakku: Learned Louisianian: Here's a brillian idea: If you find something in your yard and it has no legs but is still able to move and feed itself, LEAVE IT THE FARK ALONE

But I like masturbating...



Dude, seriously, W T F????
 
2008-10-22 4:17:32 AM  

canwolfshadow: Barakku: Learned Louisianian: Here's a brillian idea: If you find something in your yard and it has no legs but is still able to move and feed itself, LEAVE IT THE FARK ALONE

But I like masturbating...


Dude, seriously, W T F????


My trouser snake, let me show you it.

/My mind does weird things past midnight. Now come here and give daddy a big hug.
 
2008-10-22 4:30:48 AM  
I'm just surprised it took another snake in the tank in order for the moccasin to strike! I think they get overrated in the aggressiveness factor because they are territorial, but I would think having a water moccasin in a tank would piss it off.

Also, who puts two snakes in the same tank? Unless you know everything about those snakes and their habits and such, it is never a good idea.

On top of that, the bite marks should have alerted the school that this was a serious problem.
 
2008-10-22 7:51:50 AM  
From my morning paper:

Students bit by a venomous snake in classroom

Listen to this article or download audio file.Click-2-Listen
By MAGGIE SOUZA, Cox East Texas

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Administrators at Big Sandy Independent School District are reviewing their policy on letting students bring wild animals to school after a scare this week with a venomous snake.

Two Big Sandy High School students remained in a Tyler hospital Tuesday after being bitten by a cottonmouth snake during a science class Monday afternoon.

"It's not uncommon for schools to have different animal species in science labs, but a venomous snake - we made a mistake in identification," Superintendent Scott Beene said. "If I'd have known, or the teacher would have known, it would not have been in the district."

The students are expected to be fine, but probably will remain in the hospital for a couple of days for observation, Beene said after visiting the students Tuesday.

"They were both doing well and were feeling pretty good," he said. "They both had smiles on their face and were feeling a lot better today than they did yesterday."

Beene would not identify the students or the hospital.

The snake was one of several wild animals that students had taken in to the high school biology lab this school year, Beene said. The teacher, believing it to be nonvenomous, kept it in a cage in the lab.

On Monday, the students were at the snake cage during a lesson, after being asked once by the teacher to leave that area, Beene said.

"When (the teacher) looked up, they had one of the snakes out of the cage," Beene said. "A second later she heard one of them say, 'It just bit me.' "

The students were taken to a hospital immediately, Beene said.

School officials on Tuesday morning took the snake to the Caldwell Zoo in Tyler, where staff identified it as a cottonmouth, also known as a water moccasin.

A bite from a cottonmouth can be fatal, and symptoms usually begin immediately, according to information from the U.S. National Library of Medicine. Symptoms include swelling, weakness, numbness and tingling, difficulty breathing, nausea and a weak pulse.

Wildlife biologist Charlie Muller with the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department said cottonmouths are common in the area and are usually found near water. They are an aggressive species.

People who don't have much experience with snakes could confuse a cottonmouth with a rat snake, Muller said. A way to tell the two apart is by looking at the snake's head: the head of a cottonmouth is triangle-shaped and is wider than the body width, while a rat snake's head is the same width as its body.

Beene said he's not aware of any previous incidents in which a wild animal brought to school posed a problem.

"In a biology class like that, seeing life cycles and different animals is a part of that," Beene said. "But we definitely wouldn't want it to be a threatening situation in any way, and a venomous snake on school grounds is not something I would want."
 
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