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(CNN)   Top 10 celebrity excuses   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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22052 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jan 2003 at 6:51 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

49 Comments     (+0 »)
2003-01-02 02:47:43 PM  
by far my favorite celebrity related article of the year... other than the story about Russell Crowe getting his ass kicked by a Mexican woman. That one's still the tops.
2003-01-02 03:42:17 PM  
I'm not going to say it, as it will be said many, many, many times. In fact, I think it should be added to the Fark filter.
2003-01-02 04:43:03 PM  
Yesterday's mashed potato. *cuts a slice of cheese*
2003-01-02 06:54:18 PM  
In Zoofyet Rhassha, lame cliches refuse to post Alton!


God I'm bored.
2003-01-02 06:54:34 PM  
Mods must be suffering from advanced altzheimers.
2003-01-02 06:55:18 PM  
2003-01-02 06:55:49 PM  
Oh god, here we go. 1000$ says we can't go 1 week without a mass positing of 'repeat'
2003-01-02 06:56:33 PM  
9) ''People think it's s---.''

-- Guy Ritchie, telling Oxford students why his ''Swept Away,'' starring wife Madonna, is going straight to video in England

You know what's worrying about this? That paragraph seems to imply that Mr. Ritchie doesn't think it's s---.
2003-01-02 06:58:56 PM  
6) ''All I know is, I woke up and I am covered in cream.''

-- R.E.M.'s Peter Buck, recalling his all night uberghey drinking binge at Michael Stipe's house.
2003-01-02 06:59:10 PM  
''All I know is, I woke up and I am covered in cream.''

Anyone want to touch that one?
2003-01-02 07:00:06 PM  
8) ''Tom Sizemore is a popular and nice guy. An individual became unruly when asked to leave and was escorted out of Mr. Sizemore's house. Subsequently, the individual asked me, Mr. Sizemore's attorney, for money. This is a shakedown and we are confident that it will go away.''

-- Robert Barta, attorney for Tom Sizemore, on the actor's misdemeanor battery charge for allegedly assaulting a woman claiming to be his fiancee

What the hell does his being popular have to do with anything? I know plenty of popular people who are assholes.
2003-01-02 07:00:57 PM  
Who the hell is Tom Sizemore?
2003-01-02 07:02:17 PM  
Is that Celebrity excuses, or excuses for celebrities?...
2003-01-02 07:04:23 PM  
Ovitz is right about the gay mafia. They did a drive by on my place last week. And just because I live in a Jewish neighborhood.
2003-01-02 07:10:05 PM  
Tom Sizemore should change his name to Dick and go into adult films.
2003-01-02 07:10:11 PM  
'All I know is, I woke up and I am covered in cream.'

That happens to me ALL the time.

And I did a hit on Ovitz just last week. Creamed him good.
2003-01-02 07:10:15 PM  
"Gay Mafia" giving new meaning to the phrase getting whacked.
2003-01-02 07:11:01 PM  
5) ''Sometimes when I'm sleeping, you know, it's, like, in the middle of the night I'm not, like, totally clear. I'm thinking I'm sleeping with my wife.... I'm not even attracted to you! I am 150 to 200 percent happy with the wife that I have.''

-- ''Survivor: Thailand'' castaway Ted Rogers Jr., apologizing to tribemate Ghandia Johnson, in response to her accusation that he was ''grinding'' against her in her sleep.

Yeah, I feel his pain. That excuse didn't work for me with my last girlfriend either.
2003-01-02 07:12:38 PM  
(11) "We spilled beer on the server again."
2003-01-02 07:15:27 PM  
Do you live near R.E.M.'s Peter Buck?
2003-01-02 07:18:35 PM  

[image from too old to be available]
2003-01-02 07:21:12 PM  
Do you live near R.E.M.'s Peter Buck?

I suppose it's possible, judging from the mess in my driveway. Some guy around here has an "Anyeurisms Rock!" bumper sticker, too.
2003-01-02 07:23:19 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Awww honey, I'm just joking.
2003-01-02 07:25:32 PM  
okay, maybe YMP may catch on.
2003-01-02 07:29:50 PM  
You know what's worrying about this? That paragraph seems to imply that Mr. Ritchie doesn't think it's s---.

It's a front. Guy Ritchie is too talented and smart to think any differently of that movie, but considering he's married to the star, he doesn't want to deal with the griping he'll get if he tells her the truth.
In fact, I find it hard to believe that he actually wanted to make the film.
She probably harrassed him into. And risking the grief from the public over the grief his wife would give him, he did it.
2003-01-02 07:35:35 PM  
This is a repeat...a "dumbass" tag to the poster...
2003-01-02 07:36:03 PM  
Soon to appear on Anti-Drug posters in classrooms across America:

''Crack is wack.''

-- Whitney Houston
2003-01-02 07:36:30 PM  
crack is wack!
2003-01-02 07:40:51 PM  

Your excuse that you are totally happy with your wife didn't work with your last girlfriend, you say?

Man, what is this world coming to?
2003-01-02 07:54:29 PM  
hmm reminds me of the 'That girl' star that went bonkers when she realized she was on candid camera...ooops I wasn't supposed to say that was I...oh well off to debunk the other illuminazis
2003-01-02 07:58:25 PM  
ah, you must not slag peter buck. i long ago read the court transcripts that found their way onto the smoking gun (too lazy to find the link), and this guy is truly a gent. believe me, this stuff happens. but hey, if i'm amidst 14 year olds, they shall have no trouble being witty in regards to 'cream'.

like when i woke up new year's day without my coat, a muddy face, missing my sweater, and a half-unbuckled belt.

but props THEYCALLTHISWORK for the berry reference.
2003-01-02 08:00:26 PM  
With you help ofcourse! I can't do this by myself or can I, yes you can...just do it... but won't this hurt my credit rating? yes it will but your not schizoid so bankruptcy is the answer, just listen to the little voices in your head....
or tune out the radio, tv, those in the "know" and live a happy life
2003-01-02 08:01:50 PM  
2003-01-02 08:05:56 PM  
"I'm a celebrity, therefore I can get away with it. You aren't, and you can't. Ha-ha!"

-- Generic Celeb Excuse
2003-01-02 08:07:52 PM  
Will this make the Top Ten Repeats List?
2003-01-02 08:12:24 PM  
img src="">

"Crack is Wack"
2003-01-02 08:13:09 PM  
oops please delete previous

[image from too old to be available]
2003-01-02 08:17:36 PM  
Tom Sizemore is sarg from Saving Privet Ryan and the guy incharge of the vechs in Black Hawk Down.
2003-01-02 08:22:04 PM  
...been there, farked that...
2003-01-02 08:28:26 PM  
More importantly, Tom Sizemore was in Heat.
2003-01-02 08:33:53 PM  
Mostimportantly, Sizemore was Jack Scagnetti in Natural Born Killers
2003-01-02 08:38:47 PM  
It figures. Kate Bush always has an excuse whenever I call her for a date. (sigh)
2003-01-02 08:49:26 PM  
Wow, Michael Stipe looks kind of like Alan Greenspan in that pic above.
2003-01-02 08:55:51 PM  
Farmer: That pic of Whitney is scary. She used to be so cute and sweet looking. Maybe she should stop with all the drugs and just split a sandwich with Callista Flockhart or something.
2003-01-02 09:24:18 PM  
Not only is this a weak ass repeat but my first repsonse on this topic which involved a reference to anal intercourse between Marshall Mather III and Moby was deleted. This just goes to show that FARK moderators are weak ass retards.
2003-01-02 09:59:52 PM  
I went where? Man, I gotta stop huffin' Drano.

-Sean Penn
2003-01-02 10:01:54 PM  
""People think it's s---."

-- Guy Ritchie, telling Oxford students why his 'Swept Away,' starring wife Madonna, is going straight to video in England

This doesn't really fit as an excuse; it is an honest explanation. He could have said that the production lost the original film or the film was stolen by aliens or something, that would be an excuse for this [reposted] list.

Then again, I enjoyed both "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels" and "Snatch", and I thought "Mean Machine" (Ritchie produced) wasn't bad. I don't think his movies are geared towards an American audience so they wouldn't do so well in the states.
2003-01-02 11:00:34 PM  
LadyLazurus: Yeah, hehehe, i heard about this supposedly "shoking appearance" on some recent award show, so I did a Google image search on Whitney Houston Stoned and got that one..
2003-01-03 01:12:48 AM  
1) ''I was told that I should shoplift. The director said I should try it out.''

-- Saks Fifth Avenue guard Colleen Rainey, testifying during Winona Ryder's trial, quoting the actress' explanation that she was preparing for a movie role

Now I'm no lawyer, but isn't that heresay (and therefore inadmissable)?
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