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(Omaha World Herald)   Stupid: Nebraska Senator files lawsuit against God. Obvious: Judge throws it out. Fark: Because there's no way to serve papers to the defendant   (omaha.com) divider line
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6419 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Oct 2008 at 4:02 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



124 Comments     (+0 »)


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MaxxLarge
2008-10-15 1:37:54 PM  
shiat. There goes that class-action retroactive-restitution case I've been preparing against the Tooth Fairy.
 
Aarontology
2008-10-15 1:47:26 PM  
Maybe they should look in the same place where John McCain's integrity went.
 
I_C_Weener [TotalFark]
2008-10-15 1:57:18 PM  
Well, He does do business in several of his "houses" in every city in the nation. I think dropping it off with the local clergy should be considered good service.
 
oldebayer
2008-10-15 1:57:36 PM  
All you need to do is take those papers to the one true church. Of course, sorting that out from all the pretenders might take some time.
 
CrankMyBlueSax
2008-10-15 2:08:48 PM  
OK religtards, extend the logic in this decision just a weeeeeeeeee bit further and we will have made progress today.

FTFA: Judge Marlon Polk threw out Nebraska Sen. Ernie Chambers' lawsuit against the Almighty, saying there was no evidence that the defendant had been served. What's more, Polk found "there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant."
 
I_C_Weener [TotalFark]
2008-10-15 2:09:36 PM  

oldebayer: All you need to do is take those papers to the one true church. Of course, sorting that out from all the pretenders might take some time.


Class action suit.
 
PC LOAD LETTER [TotalFark]
2008-10-15 3:14:01 PM  
Yep. This is the right way to handle it.
 
Cagey B
2008-10-15 3:17:20 PM  
What he should have done was get his heroin-shooting buddy to come over and spike a vein. Then, while he was doing that, this guy could have served Jesus as he was magically transmogrifying the junkie's arm in order to steal his hit.
 
Because People in power are Stupid
2008-10-15 3:25:23 PM  
You could pray the papers to the defendant. Or ask George W. -he talks to God all the time.
 
TravelingFreakshow
2008-10-15 3:46:14 PM  
I thought this sounded familiar:

imagecache2.allposters.comView Full Size
 
Kome
2008-10-15 3:47:33 PM  
You can serve papers to someone who doesn't exist.
 
Car_Ramrod
2008-10-15 3:55:01 PM  
Chambers had sued God in September 2007, seeking a permanent injunction to prevent God from committing acts of violence such as earthquakes and tornadoes.

Hmmm...interesting. Though if this lawsuit had somehow gone through, then I think one could make a solid case that it was the laws of physics that determined the nature of such events. It would then be the burden of Chambers to prove God created the laws of physics, wouldn't it?

/obviously not a golfer lawyer
 
CrankMyBlueSax
2008-10-15 3:56:37 PM  

Kome: You can serve papers to someone who doesn't exist.


Please edumacate me in the ways of magic. How is this done?
 
Fraggler
2008-10-15 3:58:24 PM  
Because there's no way to serve papers to the defendant

Sure there is. Just throw them on the altar where the goats are sacrificed. He'll get them.
 
lhclubs
2008-10-15 4:06:52 PM  
Could have stuck them in the Wailing Wall.
 
rodeofrog
2008-10-15 4:07:20 PM  
He could have served me at about 2 am Saturday - according to my wife anyway.
 
absoluteparanoia
2008-10-15 4:07:36 PM  
ecx.images-amazon.comView Full Size


Surely I'm not the only one whose seen this movie?
 
GoodyearPimp
2008-10-15 4:07:50 PM  
In other news, the crazy homeless guy has the same right to file suits that you do. That we don't have executions for frivolous insane bullshiat wastes of time is a real credit to our system of justice.
 
alacy52
2008-10-15 4:07:59 PM  
IIRC, back when this nonsense started Ernie was looking at having the papers served to Tom Osborne.
 
The_Original_Roxtar
2008-10-15 4:08:06 PM  

CrankMyBlueSax: OK religtards


under rule 347.23 section c of the "what T_O_R reads" code, anyone using the "-tards" suffix shall be declared out-of-order and his or her post shall not be read. thus, his or her point shall be rendered void.
 
jst3p
2008-10-15 4:08:23 PM  
Mr. Bimble, the man who lives in my finger, gets off on this technicality all the time.

It sucks too because he is a dick.
 
TheSignPost
2008-10-15 4:08:37 PM  
But wait.... wait, that's precedent, right...? Legal and binding?

Good. US Courts say that God does not exist, because if he existed you could serve him with court papers, and because you can't he doesn't exist.

Excellent.

Someone will obviously now try and overturn that, but they won't get God to show up for court, because, hey, a person who doesn't exist can't show up to court, right....?

/ Peter Griffin's Ghost Who Never Lies notwithstanding
 
otherginger [TotalFark]
2008-10-15 4:08:57 PM  
Exactly why no one ever pins a B&E on Santa.
 
steveo
2008-10-15 4:09:35 PM  
And in the surprise twist ending bags and bags and bags of Morgan Freeman's mail were brought in and dumped on the floor in front of the judge.
 
jst3p
2008-10-15 4:10:28 PM  

TheSignPost: Good. US Courts say that God does not exist, because if he existed you could serve him with court papers, and because you can't he doesn't exist.


This assumes the only reason He can't be served is because He does not exist.

I don't think this is the case.
 
Joker you diabolical...
2008-10-15 4:10:37 PM  
[image from ecx.images-amazon.com too old to be available]

No dice, kids.
 
TheKnownUniverse
2008-10-15 4:10:49 PM  
Precedent! Mayo v. Satan
 
necropoultryac
2008-10-15 4:11:04 PM  
Thank God he's a democrat.

oops...God can't be reached at this time.
 
tweekster
2008-10-15 4:11:12 PM  
Plus there would be no one to defend him.
 
TheSignPost
2008-10-15 4:11:59 PM  
This assumes the only reason He can't be served is because He does not exist.

I don't think this is the case.


What other reason could there be for not being able to serve him with papers?

You could claim he's out of the country, but then what country is he in? You could claim he's not on the planet, but then where is he?


Nope. It's all extremely cut and dry. No God.


/ yay legal loopholes
 
Mad Scientist [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2008-10-15 4:12:22 PM  

rodeofrog: He could have served me at about 2 am Saturday - according to my wife anyway.


And he could have served me about 3 am Saturday - according to your wife, anyway.
 
Fabric_Man [BareFark]
2008-10-15 4:12:27 PM  
Okay. So you want to make a point about access to the courts? So you want to make sure anyone can sue anyone? So you don't want anyone to block any suits before a judge takes a look at them?

Yeah. Wasting the court's time with an obvious publicity stunt is totally the way to go.
 
Psycho Zombie Monkey
2008-10-15 4:12:28 PM  
I am an unreachable omnipotent deity that is being sued so I am really getting a kick out of killing Moms and dogs.
 
baggeryking
2008-10-15 4:12:29 PM  
Filing fees/legal fees keep frivolous lawsuits out.

Any attempt to legislate this is the result of lobbying by parties that would probably lose if the right lawsuit got to court.
 
Saborlas [TotalFark]
2008-10-15 4:13:08 PM  
Aw, I want a trial like this to go through. Since Gawd won't show up to defend himself, he loses by default. Since he won't pay, an arrest warrant is put out for him. I giggle like a schoolgirl at the prospect of Gawd having a criminal record.
 
Cyborg77
2008-10-15 4:13:26 PM  
Very tempted to buy the shirt for this headline.
 
jst3p
2008-10-15 4:13:36 PM  

TheSignPost: What other reason could there be for not being able to serve him with papers?


Try serving my dad with papers, I defy you to find him.
 
rodeofrog
2008-10-15 4:13:43 PM  
I heard Justice Roberts wrote one of those cutesy opinions on a recent case. He penned it in the style of a noir detective story. I imagined thousands of law students being forced to read it without vomiting.
 
jtown
2008-10-15 4:13:49 PM  

lhclubs: Could have stuck them in the Wailing Wall.


Came here to say that. I was going to include a picture, too.

jerusalemshots.comView Full Size
 
Single White Male
2008-10-15 4:14:12 PM  

Kome: You can serve papers to someone who doesn't exist.


Now that's litigation we can believe in.
 
Barfmaker
2008-10-15 4:14:24 PM  
So what then, this whole God thing is bullshiat? I wish someone would have mentioned that on Fark or something.
 
yogaFLAME
2008-10-15 4:15:16 PM  
He's actually doing it to prove a point about frivolous lawsuits - except I believe his position is that no lawsuits are frivolous until the courts decide so. Which is Fark user image: why, exactly, must we waste money and time and farking paper on legal decisions indicating that you can't sue jebus?
 
old_toole
2008-10-15 4:15:26 PM  
"Polk" and "Chambers"

HA
 
Shostie [TotalFark]
2008-10-15 4:15:39 PM  

TheKnownUniverse: Precedent! Mayo v. Satan


I was just coming in here to point that case out. That was easily the most awesome case I came across during my brief period in law school. The Devil vs. Daniel Webster reference made it more so.
 
rodeofrog
2008-10-15 4:16:11 PM  

Mad Scientist: rodeofrog: He could have served me at about 2 am Saturday - according to my wife anyway.

And he could have served me about 3 am Saturday - according to your wife, anyway.


I thought I heard her explaining the cat's death to one of our boys. That was you? That poor cat was all tore up.
 
Wrath of Heaven
2008-10-15 4:16:34 PM  
CageyB: "...in order to steal his hit."

I lol'd.
 
quizzical
2008-10-15 4:17:33 PM  
Basic civil proceedure, subby. The Due Process clause makes notice a constitutional requirement. If you can't be served, then the court has no jurisdiction over you. In Mayo v. Satan & His Staff, the plaintiff couldn't tell the sherrif how to serve Satan, so the case was thrown out. I think it is a rather tidy way to keep the courts free of lunitic clutter.
 
rodeofrog
2008-10-15 4:18:05 PM  

Shostie: That was easily the most awesome case I came across during my brief period in law school.


I hope you kept the book instead of trying to sell it back to the store. Perv.
 
MooseBayou
2008-10-15 4:18:20 PM  
castalbumdb.comView Full Size
 
CouchMonkey
2008-10-15 4:18:26 PM  
Anybody check Indiana? You can probably track him through his voter registration.
 
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