If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   Woman believes Steven Spielberg & Jennifer Love Hewitt are part of satanic conspiracy to manipulate her body via "cybertronic technology."   ( signonsandiego.com) divider line
    More: Obvious  
•       •       •

6400 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jan 2003 at 5:08 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

50 Comments     (+0 »)
2003-01-01 11:33:20 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
2003-01-01 01:43:02 PM  
According to court documents, Napolis screamed: "Murderer! Killer! Skankhole, you are killing me!" at Love Hewitt as she entered the theater.

"skankhole?" I think I'm gonna start using that. Thanks for enriching my vocabulary, crazy nutjob lady.
2003-01-01 03:23:09 PM  
Puh-leeze! Steven Spielberg I can see. But J-Love? She's America's sweetheart!
2003-01-01 03:25:24 PM  
Cybertron? That's where the Transformers are from! Is this lady gonna change into a truck?
2003-01-01 05:11:43 PM  
lol OBB!
2003-01-01 05:11:54 PM  
Best use of
img.fark.netView Full Size
tag evar.
2003-01-01 05:16:16 PM  
The obvious tag is what really made this story humorous.
2003-01-01 05:16:34 PM  
She better not piss off George Lucas. He will sic ILM on her humaniod butt.
2003-01-01 05:17:32 PM  
Quite true.

Spielberg, Hewitt, Satan ....

... all liberals!

We have concluded from our studies at the Undisclosed Scientific Laboratory that virtually everyone in the entertainment industry is part of a Satanic conspiracy against God and our administration.

All of them except Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Oh, and we're not sure about Siegfried and Roy.
2003-01-01 05:17:48 PM  
2003-01-01 05:19:36 PM  
And why do people bother doing a report on this?
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2003-01-01 05:19:40 PM  
JLH, please manipulate my body!

I read an old book, The Pleasuring of Rory Malone, with the premise that a teenage boy had telekinetic powers so when he fantasized about touching a woman, she could feel it. He didn't realize what was going on at first.
2003-01-01 05:20:46 PM  
She might have something there...
2003-01-01 05:20:48 PM  
"Murderer! Killer! Skankhole, you are killing me" -- The first day of 2003 and we have a new cliche!
2003-01-01 05:26:15 PM  
well a satanic cult would explain why JLH is still around...I'm sorry but the girl can't sing
2003-01-01 05:26:50 PM  
Now it's a bit of a stretch, I admit, but a GIS for skankhole turns up nothing. So Google automatically searches for skank hole. Which turns up almost nothing. Mostly banners. Just one picture of a sad clown from Maxim. But click on the clown and which favorite farker target do you see?

[image from maximonline.com too old to be available]
2003-01-01 05:26:59 PM  
Am I mistaken, or does California have more nutcases and wackos than any other place on earth? Do crazy people move to California, or is there something about the place that makes people nuts?
2003-01-01 05:28:07 PM  
I bet she is a Creationlist too, damn you Spielberg and Love-Hewitt, you are all just pawns of the satanic master Darwin!!!!!!
2003-01-01 05:28:34 PM  
Which I think makes, Christina Aguilera a um, Google Image Whack for Skankhole!
2003-01-01 05:28:42 PM  
Most populous state in the country...
2003-01-01 05:30:05 PM  
I see all kinds of nuts at the Hospital I work at. We are the single point of entry for whack jobs for the city of Anchorage. I think Alaska has a higher rate of loons per capita than the rest of the US.
2003-01-01 05:30:45 PM  
"I plan to kill you at the first opportunity to do so and I hope you die a torturous death,"

Would it really be so bad if we all just looked the other way while this women cleanses the entertainment industry?
2003-01-01 05:32:17 PM  
I smell a new movie...
2003-01-01 05:48:50 PM  
I've been saying that for years. But does anyone listen to me? No. No, they do not.

I also think Jaleel White might be reading my mind and stealing my ideas, but that's only a theory at this point.
2003-01-01 06:00:25 PM  
All I have to say is: Holy crap.

Insert obligitory "this woman is nuts," but there is simply no logic to what she's doing.

[image from aalbc.com too old to be available]

If Spielberg and J-Lo are trying to control her through cybernetic technology,
Than they owe her an apology.
2003-01-01 06:06:35 PM  
Sure, you call her crazy now. Just wait until you're all stuck continually re-enacting the movie A.I. Then we'll just see how you feel about satanic cybertronic technology!
2003-01-01 06:25:55 PM  
"5'4" and 110 lbs."

Now that tidbit forwards the story how? Is she cute? Because I can deal with a cute psychotic. I already have.
2003-01-01 06:33:01 PM  
Uh. If you're curious.

Something she wrote.
2003-01-01 06:49:47 PM  
i'd like to manipulate jennifer love hewitt's body...but not remotely.
2003-01-01 07:07:38 PM  
part of me hopes they find her sane enough to stand trail, can you imagine how amusing that trial would be...
2003-01-01 07:08:12 PM  
Jennifer Love Hewitt...cybertronic? Hell, I'll take two!
2003-01-01 07:15:49 PM  
i think jennifer love hewitt is remotely causing me to have an erection right now....but i don't think there are any cybertronics involved...
2003-01-01 08:45:16 PM  
I get extreme physical pain when I listen to JLH trying to sing or act too.
2003-01-01 08:54:31 PM  
I dated R for a while.
2003-01-01 09:02:37 PM  
Miss Hewitt can manipulate me however she likes.
[image from poster.net too old to be available]
2003-01-01 09:27:51 PM  
Lurkasaurus: You're wrong. Jennifer Love IS part of a conspiracy...in our pants.
2003-01-01 09:37:15 PM  
SherKhan: she's also 47
2003-01-01 09:44:01 PM  
Macdaddy357: That is so 80's. FLA has held the title for some time now.
2003-01-01 10:21:57 PM  
Anything that would involve me, my body and Jennifer Love Hewitt is perfectly acceptable to me.
2003-01-01 10:54:50 PM  
"A former county social worker ... is headed for a mental-competency hearing before standing trial"

Uuummmmm.... Why?
2003-01-01 11:24:42 PM  
Skankhole? My pants are growing.
2003-01-02 12:09:57 AM  
Mine are shrinking.
2003-01-02 12:29:22 AM  
From the link Dogmatix provided:

"After several induced heart attacks, "R"'s heart stopped beating and most of it was removed by the satanists. An ET signal was placed in her heart but "R" refused to give up and continued to chant/sing something positive to the alien beat in her heart."

To use a local expression...this woman is nuttier than squirrel shiat.
2003-01-02 01:16:29 AM  
I vote for shock treatment.

And Thorazine. Lots and lots of Thorazine for this gal.

Total nutjob.
2003-01-02 03:56:31 AM  
Of course Steven Spielberg & Jennifer Love Hewitt are controlling this woman since she's such an important person with her social worker status and all. See, since she's a social worker she can take away people's children from them so they can be used for human sacrifices. Think about it!
2003-01-02 04:06:53 AM  
Why don't crazy folk ever think "I must be going mad." instead of "Yes, my toaster is making valid points based in fact."?
2003-01-02 06:56:20 AM  
WOW! Your toaster, too? Maybe it IS a conspiracy!
2003-01-02 07:07:13 AM  
Yep. I wish it'd just shut the fark up and make toast.
2003-01-02 09:41:00 AM  
See, since she's a social worker she can take away people's children from them so they can be used for human sacrifices. Think about it!"

Actually, that is pretty clever.
2003-01-02 02:35:26 PM  
Nothing makes my downtrodden existence feel even less meaningful than the criminally insane. They get to stalk movie stars and get newspaper articles written about themselves and get to talk to all those interesting FBI agents...

All I do is work 40 hours a week, drink beer and play video games... Pales in comparison to the roller-coaster thrill ride lifestyle of the apeshiat wackos.
Displayed 50 of 50 comments

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.