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(ABC News)   Inside the mind of celebrity stalkers. A whole new level of CRAZY   (blogs.abcnews.com) divider line
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    More: Scary  
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17711 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Oct 2008 at 12:36 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



162 Comments     (+0 »)


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SherKhan
2008-10-09 12:13:44 PM  
Well maybe celebrities shouldn't encourage people with all their subliminal eyebrow language. There would be fewer.... misunderstandings.

Right, Anna?

djuna.cine21.comView Full Size


Shush shush shush, sweetie. It'll all be alright very soon.
 
2wolves [TotalFark]
2008-10-09 12:14:25 PM  
"Over dinner he demonstrated his ability to speak Klingon, the made-up language from "Star Trek," and he had trouble keeping eye contact."

He went all out.
 
Oldiron_79
2008-10-09 12:40:33 PM  
It puts the lotion on its skin.
 
gregory311
2008-10-09 12:40:54 PM  
"But celebrity stalkers are more likely to suffer from serious mental illness"

Dude, ya think?
 
darwinsmonkey
2008-10-09 12:41:35 PM  
Can someone post a pick of that crazy Bjork stalker guy before he blew his brains out? That dude was seriously creepy.
 
Prank Call of Cthulhu
2008-10-09 12:42:08 PM  
A restraining order is just another way of saying "I love you."
 
dogdaze
2008-10-09 12:42:34 PM  
Sign that your date is on the weird side: he speaks Kilingon
 
cyber_slacker
2008-10-09 12:42:48 PM  
I'm sick of being stalked by celebrities.

This worst part is that they have the budget to be sneaky, so even though I know they are there, I don't know exactly where.
 
Turd_Ferguson
2008-10-09 12:43:04 PM  
This reminds me of my relationship with Jessica Simpson...the main difference is she wants me to save her from that douche bag Romo.

/trust me, she does
 
Foolkiller
2008-10-09 12:43:34 PM  
Let me guess. They think said celebrity will notice them out of a crowd and marry/hook up with them.

/DRTFA
 
DronePrime
2008-10-09 12:43:35 PM  
All stalkers speak Klingon?
 
ScottMpls
2008-10-09 12:43:40 PM  
"Over dinner he demonstrated his ability to speak Klingon, the made-up language from "Star Trek," and he had trouble keeping eye contact."

What's his Fark handle?
 
Prank Call of Cthulhu
2008-10-09 12:43:56 PM  
"Over dinner he demonstrated his ability to speak Klingon, the made-up language from "Star Trek," and he had trouble keeping eye contact."

What a dork. Everyone knows a strong command of Tolkein's Elvish is the way to win the heart of a fair maiden.

Also, where does the author get off calling Klingon "made-up"?
 
cyber_slacker
2008-10-09 12:44:10 PM  

SherKhan: Well maybe celebrities shouldn't encourage people with all their subliminal eyebrow language. There would be fewer.... misunderstandings.

Right, Anna?

Shush shush shush, sweetie. It'll all be alright very soon.


fap fap fap

\yeah, I went there
 
Drubell
2008-10-09 12:44:21 PM  
I'm sure there's plenty of Farkettes around here who would've been hot and bothered if her date was fluent in Klingon.
 
The Flexecutioner
2008-10-09 12:44:56 PM  
I dont think this article is really about celeb stalkers. I think the author is still really proud and flattered to have once a long time ago been hot enough to be stalked. I mean, it's creepy and all, but kinda flattering too.

I think there needs to be one of those myspace type surveys that begs the question, "What kind of stalker are you?"
 
ihatedumbpeople
2008-10-09 12:45:36 PM  
David Letterman had a weird one not too long ago if I recall...


darwinsmonkey: Can someone post a pick of that crazy Bjork stalker guy before he blew his brains out? That dude was seriously creepy.


Here's the vid (I think, can't view vid at work)

bjork nutjob (new window)
 
msbask
2008-10-09 12:45:53 PM  
I don't understand people who like celebrities. (How do you like someone you don't know)

I don't understand people who worship celebrities. (You worship them because.... why?)

It's for damn sure that I don't understand people who stalk celebrities. (Although, I don't think stalking a celebrity is any different than stalking anyone else. Just more attention is paid, celebrity can afford a better defense, and more legal action is likely to be taken).
 
Pucca
2008-10-09 12:45:57 PM  
Be My Icon
 
Person
2008-10-09 12:46:08 PM  
Taking bets:

5-1 someone in this thread will get a visit from the police because of a comment
10-1 someone in this thread is a victim of a stalker
20-1 someone in this thread is an actual stalker
50-1 someone in this thread is a celebrity (I'm counting Wil)
200-1 someone in this thread is a an actual celebrity stalker
 
cyber_slacker
2008-10-09 12:46:54 PM  
"He called every few minutes, and if I happened to be on the phone with someone else, he got angry and made threats to "kill any guy" who was interested in me."

Wait, so that doesn't work? Women don't find that romantic?
 
Spike Lee's Favorite Farker
2008-10-09 12:47:07 PM  
Is there a word in Klingon for loneliness? Ah, yes: Gargauuuth!

[image from thesimpsonsquotes.com too old to be available]
 
The Flexecutioner
2008-10-09 12:47:22 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: "Over dinner he demonstrated his ability to speak Klingon, the made-up language from "Star Trek," and he had trouble keeping eye contact."

What a dork. Everyone knows a strong command of Tolkein's Elvish is the way to win the heart of a fair maiden.

Also, where does the author get off calling Klingon "made-up"?


oddly enough, they teach about klingon in linguistics classes because it is the only language that has no inconsistencies or 'broken' rules. at least that's what a linguistics major once told me, so i believed it.
 
Foolkiller
2008-10-09 12:47:24 PM  
OK, read the article with ONE example of a celebrity stalker and many paragraphs about Dan the Star Trek Geek, who thought the author would marry/hook up with him.
 
Hack of all trades
2008-10-09 12:48:06 PM  
Hmm. How can I start this article on celeb stalkers?
Oh I know, I'll invent a stalker of my own. Now, where do I find all the information on stalking. OH, here it is, "how to be a stalker"


Jeez, could her example have been any more textbook? I call fake.
 
cyber_slacker
2008-10-09 12:48:10 PM  

Person: Taking bets:

5-1 someone in this thread will get a visit from the police because of a comment
10-1 someone in this thread is a victim of a stalker
20-1 someone in this thread is an actual stalker
50-1 someone in this thread is a celebrity (I'm counting Wil)
200-1 someone in this thread is a an actual celebrity stalker


Well, I'm stalking Wil, but only online. I may be psycho-crazy, but I'm also really crazy-lazy so it kind of evens out.
 
LegacyDL
2008-10-09 12:48:30 PM  
Maybe celebrities need to start stalking their stalkers. A little reverse psychology can go a long way.

/The hunter has become the hunted.
//"Now here's what I look like without makeup."
 
chairmenmeow47 [OhFark]
2008-10-09 12:49:12 PM  
De Becker writes that women are socialized to be friendly at all times, even when it places their personal safety at risk.

this is so true. i know i get called a biatch for not responding to random shiat people yell at me on the street or while i'm walking in a store, but i'd rather be a living biatch than a nice dead girl.
 
Sticky Hands
2008-10-09 12:50:04 PM  

cyber_slacker: This worst part is that they have the budget to be sneaky, so even though I know they are there, I don't know exactly where.


Careful, they put mini-cameras in the poster eyes...

Ceiling Samla is watching me .....
 
TheShavingofOccam123
2008-10-09 12:51:12 PM  
Bardo was the worst. What a nut case.
 
tlchwi02
2008-10-09 12:51:17 PM  

msbask: It's for damn sure that I don't understand people who stalk celebrities. (Although, I don't think stalking a celebrity is any different than stalking anyone else. Just more attention is paid, celebrity can afford a better defense, and more legal action is likely to be taken).


well since the point of the article was that these people have a variety of psychosis that nobody much understands, i am glad that you don't understand them either...
 
Spike Lee's Favorite Farker
2008-10-09 12:51:17 PM  

chairmenmeow47: De Becker writes that women are socialized to be friendly at all times, even when it places their personal safety at risk.

this is so true. i know i get called a biatch for not responding to random shiat people yell at me on the street or while i'm walking in a store, but i'd rather be a living biatch than a nice dead girl.


How you doin?
 
greighwolf
2008-10-09 12:51:20 PM  
Dr Stegman is not available for comment at this time.

bbc.co.ukView Full Size
 
michaeld5
2008-10-09 12:51:21 PM  
"I really didn't mean to shoot Rebecca, I mean I really loved her."
WHOOPS, someone in this prison is trying to stab me!!!"
[image from cache.daylife.com too old to be available]
 
darwinsmonkey
2008-10-09 12:51:21 PM  

ihatedumbpeople: David Letterman had a weird one not too long ago if I recall...


darwinsmonkey: Can someone post a pick of that crazy Bjork stalker guy before he blew his brains out? That dude was seriously creepy.

Here's the vid (I think, can't view vid at work)

bjork nutjob (new window)


Didn't Letterman have that woman that kept breaking into his house or something? I think he had her removed from the gene pool or something.
Thanks for the link, will have to check at home also...
//work block page
 
GameraMan
2008-10-09 12:51:28 PM  

Foolkiller: OK, read the article with ONE example of a celebrity stalker and many paragraphs about Dan the Star Trek Geek, who thought the author would marry/hook up with him.


I came to say something similar...sure sounded like a "look at me!" article. She kept referring to Dan through the whole article too. I'll bet Dan is sick of the author stalking him via the media!!
 
Spike Lee's Favorite Farker
2008-10-09 12:51:53 PM  

Spike Lee's Favorite Farker: chairmenmeow47: De Becker writes that women are socialized to be friendly at all times, even when it places their personal safety at risk.

this is so true. i know i get called a biatch for not responding to random shiat people yell at me on the street or while i'm walking in a store, but i'd rather be a living biatch than a nice dead girl.

How you doin?


Oh, so you are too good to talk to me now? Fark you biatch!
 
Spike Lee's Favorite Farker
2008-10-09 12:52:35 PM  

Spike Lee's Favorite Farker: Spike Lee's Favorite Farker: chairmenmeow47: De Becker writes that women are socialized to be friendly at all times, even when it places their personal safety at risk.

this is so true. i know i get called a biatch for not responding to random shiat people yell at me on the street or while i'm walking in a store, but i'd rather be a living biatch than a nice dead girl.

How you doin?

Oh, so you are too good to talk to me now? Fark you biatch!


How come you haven't responded? I hope I didn't come on too strong.
 
cookiecatter
2008-10-09 12:52:53 PM  

Foolkiller: OK, read the article with ONE example of a celebrity stalker and many paragraphs about Dan the Star Trek Geek, who thought the author would marry/hook up with him.


I couldn't get past that part of the article. The author sounds like kind of a k00nt.
 
Doctor Funkenstein
2008-10-09 12:52:57 PM  
FTFA: "Over dinner he demonstrated his ability to speak Klingon, the made-up language from "Star Trek," and he had trouble keeping eye contact."

You, biatch. ghuH Daq Hegh!
 
n0namef0rme
2008-10-09 12:53:05 PM  
So wait, celebrities get the cream of the stalker crop too? You know, I'm fine with them getting all the money, all the free stuff and so on, but when it comes to the stalkers I have to draw a line. Where is MY stalker with a 'serious psychotic illness'? I mean come on!

/been stalked
//male
///she was creepy and called me 86 times in an hour once...
////shiver
 
Spike Lee's Favorite Farker
2008-10-09 12:53:13 PM  

Spike Lee's Favorite Farker: Spike Lee's Favorite Farker: Spike Lee's Favorite Farker: chairmenmeow47: De Becker writes that women are socialized to be friendly at all times, even when it places their personal safety at risk.

this is so true. i know i get called a biatch for not responding to random shiat people yell at me on the street or while i'm walking in a store, but i'd rather be a living biatch than a nice dead girl.

How you doin?

Oh, so you are too good to talk to me now? Fark you biatch!

How come you haven't responded? I hope I didn't come on too strong.


So what are you doing now? I miss you.
 
BlorfMaster
2008-10-09 12:53:16 PM  
You know, you can actually land a fairly decent scholarship if you prove you can speak klingon. I mean, it wont pay your way through school but its like a grand or two.

I dont think I would make a good stalker. After a few hours hiding out in the bushes i would get bored and go find something to eat.

I'm more of a 'dead rat in your mailbox for scorning me' kinda guy anyways.
 
Awssum
2008-10-09 12:53:39 PM  
Person
Taking bets:
5-1 someone in this thread will get a visit from the police because of a comment
10-1 someone in this thread is a victim of a stalker
20-1 someone in this thread is an actual stalker
50-1 someone in this thread is a celebrity (I'm counting Wil)
200-1 someone in this thread is a an actual celebrity stalker

And to think, it was fark and mental illness that brought us all together.

/kinda makes me all warm and fuzzy
//stabby
 
michaeld5
2008-10-09 12:53:59 PM  
"What's the frequency, Kenneth?"
cbsnews.comView Full Size
 
halfof33
2008-10-09 12:54:06 PM  

msbask: I don't understand people who like celebrities. (How do you like someone you don't know)

I don't understand people who worship celebrities. (You worship them because.... why?)


Indeed. It is a characteristic of this society, one that has been overwhelmed by the intrusive and entirely unnecessary invention of the Tee Vee, or idiot box as i and my frinds call it of misplaced "celebrity worship."

That is why I long ago donated my Tee Vee to an underprivileged shelter for homeless women, and which has freed up my time and my talents for my writing.

If you wish to see my latest blog on my translation of À la recherche du temps perdu (In Search of Lost Time; earlier badly translated as Remembrance of Things Past), please see my profile.
 
Dr_Retriever
2008-10-09 12:54:25 PM  
I worked with this chick that loved Kenny Chesney. She was obsessed with moving to Nashville, even interviewed for a job up there. When he married Renee, she was so depressed that she didn't show up for work for a couple of days.

She also had this Single White Female thing going too. Copying my clothes, arranging the items on her desk exactly like mine, etc.

Real creepy, but generally harmless. She was a bit too stupid to be much harm.
 
monsignorguru
2008-10-09 12:54:26 PM  
Link (new window)

Here is Luke Walton's (L.A. Laker) stalker. Scary indeed.
 
Radworld4
2008-10-09 12:54:32 PM  

Drubell: I'm sure there's plenty of Farkettes around here who would've been hot and bothered if her date was fluent in Klingon.


Speakers of Klingon. Hot? Rarely. Bothered? Perhaps bothersome?

As for the stalkers thing its true that women have the affinity of not wanting to hurt a guys feelings and that can lead to prolonged interest. That said...guys have been fed a long line of bull shiat preceding that. If we just hang in there...she'll turn around and see us for who we are and be smitten with us. Books, movies and songs all sing about it.

Ladies just be straight with us poor saps. We rarely know what were doing in the ways of amour. Most of the time it takes a good friend to say..."Dude, she is not into you."

Do that and we'll stop riding past your house on our bike all day...we may even let you have your cat back.
 
jerkobson
2008-10-09 12:54:36 PM  

chairmenmeow47: De Becker writes that women are socialized to be friendly at all times, even when it places their personal safety at risk.

this is so true. i know i get called a biatch for not responding to random shiat people yell at me on the street or while i'm walking in a store, but i'd rather be a living biatch than a nice dead girl.


Are you trying to tell me with your actions that we were meant to be?

/Begins stalking.
 
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