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(New Scientist)   Lab-grown steaks nearing the menu. Dog's not sure if they want any   ( divider line
    More: Interesting  
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4087 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2002 at 11:38 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

84 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-12-30 11:40:45 AM  
Mmm! Tastes like chemicals!
2002-12-30 11:41:15 AM  
Make no mistake, the stakes are high on this one.
2002-12-30 11:41:53 AM  
The grammar nazi post is down a few. (pre-emptive)
2002-12-30 11:42:09 AM  
i'd like mine medium rare with a baked potato.
2002-12-30 11:43:07 AM  
I wonder if PETA would support this.
2002-12-30 11:43:14 AM  
Genetic research and tissue engineering are bad. I know that because of last night's 'Touched by an Angel' episode on the Hallmark channel.
2002-12-30 11:43:18 AM  
That was pretty weak, Snorlax. I can't come up with anything better. But, that was pretty weak. Good job.
2002-12-30 11:43:19 AM  
...... still no cure for cancer.

Never miss an opportunity for a Fark cliche.
2002-12-30 11:43:27 AM  
This scares me more than the cloned baby. I think I'll become a vegatarian. Who would want to eat "Protein spheres"?
2002-12-30 11:43:40 AM  
How To Write Like a Wanker
1. Pluralize with Apostrophes.
"Pluralize with Apostrophe's." This one small tactic is guaranteed to annoy anyone with even a passing knowledge of proper grammar. With a single keystroke, you demonstrate that you're completely incapable of handling the simplest rule of the English language, and reduce your more capable comrades to fits of mute frustration at your wilful idiocy.
2002-12-30 11:44:42 AM  
*puts on Grammar Nazi beret*
2002-12-30 11:45:40 AM  
2002-12-30 11:46:10 AM  
I don't think even lab-grown s'teaks will s'atisfy the PETA fanatic's.
2002-12-30 11:46:11 AM  
But I don't like zyomoveal
2002-12-30 11:46:37 AM  
Tasty meat!
2002-12-30 11:46:48 AM  
12-30-02 11:44:42 AM EnderWiggin
*puts on Grammar Nazi beret*

This one?

[image from too old to be available]
2002-12-30 11:47:03 AM  
DING! LawTalkingGuy scores a direct hit, thanks to EnderWiggin.

Way to tag-team there boys ;-)
2002-12-30 11:47:18 AM  
I am not sure why, but that really upset me. I don't know if I will ever be able to eat a steak again.

2002-12-30 11:48:10 AM  
Now grow me some steak fries and we are good to go.
2002-12-30 11:48:55 AM  
Shyster: Thanks! As usual, I got nothin'.
2002-12-30 11:48:56 AM  
Whoomp! There it is.

2002-12-30 11:49:54 AM  
Emily Yeah, the butchering process is much more comforting. ;)
2002-12-30 11:50:36 AM  
Although the Touro team developed techniques for growing white and dark chicken muscle in the lab, without a blood supply the chicken meat grew for just two months before it was dead in the dish.

Did anybody else think of 'Little Shop of Horrors' after reading this.
2002-12-30 11:51:20 AM  
Because it comes from a test tube, it will no doubt be called tube steak. Real men don't swallow tube steak.
2002-12-30 11:51:44 AM  
I can see it now; "Synthetic Steak Sauce Created; France Surrenders". Again, Fark cliche, can't resist.
2002-12-30 11:52:12 AM  
To be honest, I'd sooner eat this stuff than pemento loaf.

But then again, I'm a big fan of Jamacian Beef patties and Gyros, so "meat" of questionable origin is already part of my diet.

Except Pemento loaf. Bleh.
2002-12-30 11:52:34 AM  
That's cool... we'll meet the meat!

/zaphod beeblebrox
2002-12-30 11:52:56 AM  
Dog's not sure if *he* wants any.
*Dogs* not sure if they want any.

2002-12-30 11:53:23 AM  
LawTalkingGuy Well, at least I don't feel like I am in some nasty Sci-Fi movie. Also, how do we really know where they are getting the cells from? Again, I really don't know why, but it is making me feel ill.
2002-12-30 11:57:20 AM  
12-30-02 11:51:20 AM Young_Fart
Because it comes from a test tube, it will no doubt be called tube steak. Real men don't swallow tube steak.

I want to slip my tubesteak into
your sister.
What'll you take in trade?


What have you got?
2002-12-30 11:58:49 AM  
His team thinks the meat of the future will be a processed food closer to a sausage or hamburger.

The scientists plan to call this new invention "Underwood Devilled Ham" and sell it in little tin cans.
2002-12-30 11:59:17 AM  
The question is, which is a more efficient use of resources, animal meat or lab meat?
2002-12-30 11:59:45 AM  
It's a sick thought but oh well, sometime in the next few years there will be a bilboard with a bigass petri dish with a paintbrush sticking out of it, slidng around, having scrawled "EAT MOR SYNTHA CHIKN"

I suck
2002-12-30 12:00:54 PM  
Emilykp I doubt it'll make it big on American tables, but keep the costs down, and throw in some supplimental nutrients, and famine stricken areas would really benefit from this. I can actuaklly see this in McNuggets and Fillet 'o Fishes too. It's not like you really check what in a McNugget.

It'll fail though, because farming/beef lobbies will attempt to kill this competiotion. It'll be painted as evil and destroying the "wholesome American farm"
2002-12-30 12:00:58 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
Yes, please.
2002-12-30 12:02:13 PM  
Peta will go totally ape over this. They'll have a cow, man.
2002-12-30 12:02:28 PM  
This is so stupid. Why not just grow protein-rich vegetables in space instead? They don't need some incredibly complex and expensive life-support system - a few gro-lights and some hydroponic plumbing and you're all set. I think the astronauts will do just fine on a vegetarian diet during their time in space.

Why the hell are people so obsessed with meat, anyway?
2002-12-30 12:02:30 PM  
someone post bob the angry flower's guide to the apostrophe
2002-12-30 12:04:24 PM  
Hmm, what's next?

[image from too old to be available]

Think I'll skip the special sauce
2002-12-30 12:06:25 PM  

I remember it having something to do with humans and predecessors being hunter-gatherers for some number of years, it is like in our genes or something.
2002-12-30 12:09:11 PM  
Excuse me for a moment folks. I'm growing a steak in the bathroom, and I need to excersize my meat.
2002-12-30 12:09:17 PM  
Who is this Dog fellow and why doesn't he want any?
2002-12-30 12:10:35 PM  
Velden_Werarde Meat protien is also a lot easier for our bodies to breakdown and convert into muscle mass. besides, I doubt the mineral rich hydroponics required to produce the amounts of soy and peanuts needed would be any less "high-tech".
2002-12-30 12:10:44 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-12-30 12:10:49 PM  
That's the one, 51.
2002-12-30 12:13:35 PM  
"That's cool... we'll meet the meat!"
Yes, so be sure and deposit your penny now for your next visit to The Restaurant at The End of the Universe !

2002-12-30 12:16:12 PM  
Now that's a fur burger
2002-12-30 12:16:28 PM  
I got a girl, she lives on the hill.
She won't do it but her sister will,
When she boogie,
She do the tube steak boogie.
2002-12-30 12:17:56 PM  
I thought Hormel had already perfected this technique and called it Spam. If it ain't Alberta, it ain't beef (for you Canucks).
2002-12-30 12:19:01 PM  
Guess these guys can retire.

[image from too old to be available]
2002-12-30 12:21:09 PM  
Your killin' me 51:

[image from too old to be available]
2002-12-30 12:23:16 PM  
here ya go!

[image from too old to be available]
2002-12-30 12:25:58 PM  
I wanna see a turkey with 12 drumsticks!!! Damnit!
2002-12-30 12:27:02 PM  
Although the Touro team developed techniques for growing white and dark chicken muscle in the lab, without a blood supply the chicken meat grew for just two months before it was dead in the dish. Benjaminson is now submitting another NASA proposal to investigate mechanical or electrical methods of stimulating blood vessel growth.

Blood vessels aren't a problem if you're not too picky about texture. Sperm could be manufactured by the gallons.
2002-12-30 12:28:59 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-12-30 12:30:52 PM  

Reminds me of .......

[image from too old to be available]
2002-12-30 12:46:23 PM  
This thread has reminded me of one essential, universal fact:

if animals could write, their spelling would be terrible.
2002-12-30 12:47:54 PM  
Boca burgers == yummy.

/fake meat addict
2002-12-30 12:48:05 PM  
51- can WHO retire? I have to know!
2002-12-30 12:49:03 PM  
With the exception of an occasional "infinite" monkey whose spelling would end up being bang on...
2002-12-30 12:53:20 PM  
keep the costs down, and throw in some supplimental nutrients, and famine stricken areas would really benefit from this.

It's my impression that famine stricken areas are usually famine stricken because of politics or greed, not because of a lack of food.
2002-12-30 12:55:51 PM  
CanuckGuy isn't that monkey over here?

/runs from hordes of WW fans
2002-12-30 12:57:23 PM  
bah... link to lost. hanging head in shame.
2002-12-30 12:58:42 PM  
Epoophoron There is still a need for inexpensive food either way... Although the ability to get it to the people who realy need it does get tricky at times.
Kat [TotalFark]
2002-12-30 01:01:54 PM  
That article actually made me queasy. I think I'll go lie down now...
2002-12-30 01:02:27 PM  
Next problem, making A-1 from urine.
2002-12-30 01:12:06 PM  
Jato Increase the gravy intake of your "source" 1000 fold. they'le be pissing A-1 sause in no time.
2002-12-30 01:13:35 PM  
Did you know that urine is sterile? You can drink it.
/tyler durden
2002-12-30 01:15:31 PM  


* makes retching noise *
2002-12-30 01:21:28 PM  
Here, Sihaya

[image from too old to be available]
2002-12-30 01:24:49 PM  
Didn't we already have this with tofu?
2002-12-30 01:26:22 PM  
All you people who find this revolting have no idea how hot-dogs are made, do you.

I'm not talking about lips and assholes either. I'm talking about "chemically purifying" mountains of rancid meat.

Mechanically deboned chicken isn't exactly all that pretty either. It's not deboned so much as its ground up so badly that you can't tell there's still bone in it.

That and the "allowable" amount of puss/bugs/feces that in most meat products and let me tell you, stuff grown in a nice, steril lab starts sounds pretty tasty to me.
2002-12-30 02:00:05 PM  
Well, at least this finally explains McDonald's Chicken McNuggets.
2002-12-30 02:06:38 PM  
This stuff still sounds better than Tofurky.
2002-12-30 02:12:10 PM  
my post explains the mcnuggets?.... cool.....
2002-12-30 02:16:32 PM  
steak sauce anyone??? here u go.. artificial intellegence steak sauce, for all of your lab-grown steak and chicken mcnugget heads... ANYOnE ELSE SMELL A CLICHE... sorry about the caps...
[image from too old to be available]
2002-12-30 02:44:00 PM  
2002-12-30 02:56:10 PM  
I expected a lot more people to think this is really cool.

And where the heck are all the Soylent Green references?

Oh well.
2002-12-30 02:57:01 PM  

[image from too old to be available]
2002-12-30 03:01:07 PM  
oh yeah... the steak sauce... it was a real idea that spielberg threw out to A1 steak sauce when the AI dvd was to come out... guess it neveer got off the ground... mmmm steak and robot parts....
2002-12-30 03:10:59 PM  
Nice work; you read my mind.
2002-12-30 03:12:10 PM  
Hmm... Never mind the Soylent Green references... But check this out... Get any human tissue sample, and you could actually MAKE your very own Manbeef! :-)
2002-12-30 05:55:07 PM  
These guys must not follow current events. Meat has been grown on trees for a while now, and is about to hit the market. All kinds of frankenfood has been created, but I wouldn't eat it!
2002-12-30 06:20:31 PM  
The farker's arnt sure if they will click the link's anymore when there farked up.

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