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(CNN)   Drunk elk shot dead after attack   ( europe.cnn.com) divider line
    More: Scary  
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7019 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2002 at 9:53 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

62 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-12-30 09:59:55 AM  
Look out! It's comin' right FOR us!

2002-12-30 10:00:58 AM  
But they can become aggressive when they eat rotten apples, a favourite winter snack which can make them drunk.

gimme a ticket to sweden. blondes and drunken deer. heaven on earth!
2002-12-30 10:01:12 AM  
Nobody likes a nasty drunk.
2002-12-30 10:01:44 AM  
He was such a quiet elk. Normally kept to himself.
2002-12-30 10:01:50 AM  
One rotten apple doesn't spoil the whole herd.
2002-12-30 10:02:27 AM  
As opposed to drunken hunters that shoot at anything that moves. Such as me, once, when I was much younger.
/still gun shy
2002-12-30 10:02:47 AM  
I should hope the elk wasn't shot dead BEFORE the attack.

Don't Tell Mr. T.
2002-12-30 10:03:57 AM  
That's all they do at any Elks Lodge...drink. And play sad country-western on the jukebox.
2002-12-30 10:05:42 AM  

No kidding. You could have saved a buck or two.

Mwah! G'nite everybody!
2002-12-30 10:07:06 AM  
Elk shmelk. I want drunken moose stories.
2002-12-30 10:10:01 AM  
"Police shot dead a drunken bull elk which attacked a young boy while intoxicated on fermented apples"

I'm going to add that the subordinate clause ought to be parenthetical, or at least isolated by commas.

"Police shot dead a drunken bull elk (which attacked a young boy) while intoxicated on fermented apples"


"Police shot dead a drunken bull elk, which attacked a young boy, while intoxicated on fermented apples"

I think we can agree on two things here. First, this is a horrible headline, and second we're all very bored today.
2002-12-30 10:10:03 AM  
Honest, sarge. The way he was lurching at us - I coulda sworn he had a gun.
2002-12-30 10:11:59 AM  
Decaf333:- The grammar Nazi thread is over here.
2002-12-30 10:14:23 AM  
[image from taurnet.se too old to be available]

BEWARE OF ELK RAMPAGE! Many of theese signs are actually stolen by German tourists..
2002-12-30 10:16:32 AM  
Police shot dead a drunken bull elk, which attacked a young boy, while intoxicated on fermented apples

so that means you can take out the clause separated by commas and still get the same meaning in the sentence?

"Police shot dead a drunked bull elk while intoxicated on fermented apples"

damn! gotta keep those police men off the apples!
2002-12-30 10:20:58 AM  
A similar thing happens to me almost every holiday season, except that instead of rotten apples I get drunk on Zima, and instead of attacking people I accuse them of thinking they're better than me and puke on the floor, and instead of being shot I get kicked hard in the groin by my brother.
2002-12-30 10:22:23 AM  
Now we have drunken elks to worry about? Christ.
2002-12-30 10:25:01 AM  
You know what your *hic* problem is? I shaid - Do you know whattyer probl- *hic* - prob- *hic* - problem is!?

[image from i.cnn.net too old to be available]

Too much Elk-i-hole
2002-12-30 10:26:58 AM  
You Grammar freaks are scary. How about this headline:

Police shot dead a drunken bull elk after it attacked a young boy who was eatting rotten fermented apples.
2002-12-30 10:27:17 AM  
what are you lookin at fer chrissakes?
2002-12-30 10:27:28 AM  
What it was was a priest, who was at his elks club meeting(complete with antlered asshat), who had had too much, saw a young boy, and lost control of himself.
2002-12-30 10:28:25 AM  
[image from wmatoutdoors.com too old to be available]
"Da fark you lookin' at?"
2002-12-30 10:32:00 AM  
Did they have to wait until a gun arrived from the USA?

/lame attempt to start flamewar
2002-12-30 10:32:21 AM  
Gotta agree with you there, Forsythe. My grandfather was a member of the Loyal Order of Moose, and that's all they seemed to do. Ever.

I once knew a woman who was a Forest Ranger - she told me members of the Elks would go out west and shoot elk just to pull out the eyeteeth to put on their keychain/watchfob/whatever. "Benevolent and Protective," my Aunt Fanny. She used to say B.P.O.E. = Biggest Pigs On Earth.
2002-12-30 10:35:35 AM  
hi'm not a helk

</someone who k'now's w'ho's w'ho>
2002-12-30 10:37:50 AM  
[image from papabearsnorthwoods.com too old to be available]

2002-12-30 10:48:29 AM  
How about....

"After becoming intoxicated by eating fermented apples, a bull elk was shot dead by authorities when it attacked a young boy."
2002-12-30 10:54:28 AM  
If the elk had been smoking pot instead, this violent tragedy could have been averted.
2002-12-30 11:00:32 AM  
Hottest new snack craze amongst teens: rotten apples.

Oh, and Hawk24 seems to have the best re-interpretation.
2002-12-30 11:03:12 AM  
an elk bit my moose
2002-12-30 11:05:17 AM  
"Police shot dead a drunken bull elk which attacked a young boy while intoxicated on fermented apples."

This sentence already means what it is supposed to. "Police" is too far from "intoxicated" to imply that the police ate the apples, and "a young boy while intoxicated" does not mean the same thing as "a young boy who was intoxicated". The sentence does not imply anything incorrect unless you read it wrong.

"Police shot dead a drunken bull elk, which attacked a young boy while intoxicated on fermented apples."

This is also correct, and a little more clear. It seperates the sentence into two ideas: "police shot drunk deer" and "apples caused deer to attack boy".

"Police shot dead a drunken bull elk, which attacked a young boy, while intoxicated on fermented apples."

This is a step in the wrong direction. The attack is seperated from the apples, which is not what the author was going for. The entire (short) article is about the attack and it ends with an attack/apples correlation. Adding two commas changes the focus of the sentence from the attack to the shooting, and implies that the police might have been the ones intoxicated on fermented apples. The implication is only grammatical, though, because the phrase "drunken bull elk" obviously invalidates the implication.

Hawk24's sentence makes sense, but we don't necessarily know whether the elk was shot during the attack.

All youse other guys should of goofed less off in grammar Nazi training camp.
2002-12-30 11:10:02 AM  
The problem is the passive voice. May I suggest;

Police shot dead an elk that was drunk on fermented apples, after the elk had attacked a young boy.
2002-12-30 11:14:52 AM  
Intoxicated police shot dead a young boy who attacked a bull elk with fermented apples.
2002-12-30 11:18:02 AM  
Ok Jayvee wins
Kat [TotalFark]
2002-12-30 11:18:48 AM  
wow, I kinda wish I was the little boy, what an EXCELLENT story to tell people. Of course, this doesn't sound all that uncommon in where was it, sweden?

As for all of the grammar rubbish, just shush, this is teh internet.
2002-12-30 11:21:18 AM  
What Kat REALLY meant to ask, was "Do Elks go moo or mer?"
2002-12-30 11:25:44 AM  
Which is better for taking down a drunken bull elk: F16 or Gripen?
2002-12-30 11:26:04 AM  
More beer for the deer!

By the way, I think it was a moose. "Älg" translates into "moose", while "elk" would be "hjort". Or maybe I just ate a few too many apples...
2002-12-30 11:27:22 AM  
GIS for drunken elk

[image from digilander.libero.it too old to be available]

Looks like Italian? can anyone translate?
2002-12-30 11:33:14 AM  
his mother left him for good

rough translation I think.
2002-12-30 11:33:48 AM  
51:- Babel gives me:- "and then the mother said that the fruit does good"

And you just can't argue with facts like that.
Kat [TotalFark]
2002-12-30 11:46:37 AM  
don't be silly silly, elks snort. I think they also make a low growling noise. Kind of like a huff witha little flem.
2002-12-30 11:48:41 AM  

(or Elks, if you write for CNN)
2002-12-30 11:48:44 AM  
ok so I just took a little Latin
2002-12-30 12:01:18 PM  
This happens every year to bees at my parent's house. The eat the fallen pears out of the trees that are fermented and get wasted. You can tell because they continue to swarm around the tree, but they literally swerve horribly while flying, bump into each other and tree limbs, and occasionally just fall out of the air.
2002-12-30 12:01:33 PM  
Yer all so helpless.

"Police shot dead a drunken bull elk which, while intoxicated on fermented apples, attacked a young boy."

Was that so hard? I guess so.
2002-12-30 12:07:56 PM  
[image from arcadiamusic.org too old to be available]
Ol' Harry shouldn't have gotten so angry with Elmer, who had just gotten his CCW permit.
2002-12-30 12:37:26 PM  
[image from members.tripod.com too old to be available]

I'm not allowed to have rotten apples, they angry up the blood!!
2002-12-30 12:40:18 PM  
Jeezuz H... can police in Stockholm just shoot a drunken elk dead for attacking a young boyand be done with it? Friggin' AP rules! They'd be much better off if they wrote in a more conversational style. Old school stiff hats!
2002-12-30 12:48:56 PM  
Well I think it's clear that the elk wasn't French.

*Sorry, to obvious*
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