Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(LBC 97.3)   Got problems with moochy coworkers stealing your lunch? This'll help   (tampabays10.com) divider line
    More: Cool  
•       •       •

38426 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Sep 2008 at 10:48 AM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



211 Comments     (+0 »)
 


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2008-09-12 06:37:29 AM  
Assuming it's in a communal fridge, I'm the kind of co-worker that would toss that in the garbage.

Haha! You no get food anyway!
 
2008-09-12 06:50:00 AM  

robot monkey: Assuming it's in a communal fridge, I'm the kind of co-worker that would toss that in the garbage.

Haha! You no get food anyway!


This, although it's still damned funny.
 
2008-09-12 06:53:29 AM  
I was expecting something a bit more malicious. Yeah, that will end up in the trash instead of as someone else's lunch.
 
2008-09-12 06:59:27 AM  
Some days I would still eat that.
 
2008-09-12 07:58:25 AM  
That's the greatest thing since penicillin.
 
2008-09-12 08:03:22 AM  
You can't just throw away things that get old. They have squatter's rights
 
2008-09-12 08:06:56 AM  
Nothing works as well as a milkshake made with chocolate Ex-Lax, which helps identify the culprit within an hour.
 
2008-09-12 08:12:59 AM  
I just got some small, sandwich sized bio-hazard bags from the ER. Most of the guys didn't really believe that the bag contained anything dangerous but, considering my unique sense of what is and isn't funny, NOBODY was willing to take a chance.
 
2008-09-12 08:29:59 AM  
Cascara Sagrada (new window). Lots of it.

And superglue the bathroom door shut.
 
2008-09-12 09:28:29 AM  

dahmers love zombie: Cascara Sagrada (new window). Lots of it.

And superglue the bathroom door shut.



I heard there is something you can put on it that will glow like mad under a blacklight. Cover your lunch in that and then give everyone a quick blacklight test.

Man I'm glad I don't have to worry about this at my job. It's not so much the lunch getting stolen but what I would do when I found the culprit....
 
2008-09-12 10:52:47 AM  
Designed by a rocket scientist...genius
 
2008-09-12 10:53:02 AM  
In college I found a great way to stop people stealing my milk from the shared fridge. I just took a Sharpie and wrote on the side of the carton:

MILK EXPERIMENT

Job done.
 
2008-09-12 10:53:08 AM  

labman: You can't just throw away things that get old. They have squatter's rights


Sure you can! Nursing homes are just landfills that don't smell as good!
 
2008-09-12 10:53:16 AM  
So, instead of complaining that your co-worker stole your lunch, you're gonna spend lunch break digging through the garbage while that damned co-worker still laughs his head off.
 
2008-09-12 10:53:17 AM  
I caught one of my coworkers pulling discarded food out of the trash once. I doubt this would stop him.
 
2008-09-12 10:54:05 AM  
I like the Dear Mr. Henshaw method, myself.
 
2008-09-12 10:54:56 AM  
I had a problem with people taking my lunch bowl at the office and then leaving it un-washed in the sink.

Put this sticker on and no one touched it again.

img.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
2008-09-12 10:56:03 AM  

ElPresidente: Nothing works as well as a milkshake made with chocolate Ex-Lax, which helps identify the culprit within an hour.


I did that to one of my roommates once except I ground up about 8 laxatives and put it in some italian food. That may have been the funniest and most disgusting 24 hours living with a roommate.
 
2008-09-12 10:56:27 AM  
I used to keep a glass jar of water in the fridge that I would refill. I noticed the level fluctuated a bit occasionally so I would wipe a little bleach around the rim. Voila! I heard some sputtering and spitting from the break room and walked in to find my coworker drinking out of my jug. Problem solved.
 
2008-09-12 10:58:53 AM  

RedMosquito: Some days I would still eat that.


Gimme back my sammich please!!
 
2008-09-12 10:59:41 AM  
"Parents, this could also be a hit at the lunch table at your kids school."

You'll love it when Child Protective Services pays you a visit, too.
 
2008-09-12 11:00:09 AM  
Doing a quick search for Dave's Insanity Sauce and get a bottle of that stuff coming your way. Add a healthy number of drops to any item you expect to be stolen. Put it in the fridge and forget it.

It'll be a nice theft deterrent. Seriously.

/don't put your name on the food
//for liability's sake, of course.
 
2008-09-12 11:01:27 AM  
[image from tbn0.google.com too old to be available]

"Two words...shiat sandwich."
 
Ant
2008-09-12 11:01:57 AM  
What kind of scum steals lunch out of the office fridge anyway? I've never had that happen to me.
 
2008-09-12 11:02:03 AM  
Years ago we had a problem where I worked. I laced a sandwich with African bird pepper which is a hotter version of cayenne. Later that morning it was obvious who the culprit was...
 
2008-09-12 11:02:58 AM  
I would take someone else's sammich, and put it in one of those bags. Hilarity might ensue.
 
2008-09-12 11:03:48 AM  
Just be the employ everyone thinks is on the verge of really really losing it..nobody farks with that guy..or steals his ham and cheese on wheat.

Its amazing how peaceful lunch time can be when everyone thinks you may be the nations next reason to blame the NRA for gun violence.

/stay away from my He-man lunch box biatches
 
2008-09-12 11:03:57 AM  
Ran a distribution facility with 400 workers, had more cameras on the refrigerators in the break room (5 total) than any other spot in the facility. Always enjoyed having conversations with staff when they were caught stealing lunches, and we reviewed the tapes, and they denied it was them.

Good times

Always fun to fire someone for swiping a sammich
 
2008-09-12 11:04:19 AM  

Ant: What kind of scum steals lunch out of the office fridge anyway? I've never had that happen to me.


I've never had it happen, either. And I can't understand why anyone would want to in the first place...the idea of eating someone's lunch skeeves me out.
 
2008-09-12 11:04:53 AM  
I was inside a certain federal building once where I came across a refrigerator with an angrily typed sign on it:

"The McCormick & Schmick's takeout container is FUNKY. If you own it, please remove it and help de-funk the refrigerator."

I stopped and thought about this as I walked away. Who would want to de-funk anything? So I went and found a post-it note to write the following on:

"No love for Bootsy Collins?"

I worked my way back to the refrigerator, stuck my note onto it, and promptly left.

I only wish I could see how the government employee who placed the original note reacted.
 
2008-09-12 11:05:52 AM  
If you work somewhere that it's acceptable to steal people's lunches without getting your ass beat, then it might be time to find a new job.
 
2008-09-12 11:07:02 AM  
I think that Britney or Lindsey should tape one of those bags over their stink patches. Instant fun with the paps! Then again, there might be no discernable difference. Oh well, back to the weather channel--good luck Texans and others.
 
2008-09-12 11:07:22 AM  

robot monkey: Assuming it's in a communal fridge, I'm the kind of co-worker that would toss that in the garbage.

Haha! You no get food anyway!


Why would you be looking inside someone's lunch bag?
 
2008-09-12 11:08:43 AM  
Good idea. Better than my solution: bring salads.

Nobody ever steals a salad. I like to imagine the thief is a fattie.
 
2008-09-12 11:09:07 AM  
Loogy sammich.

/problem solved
 
2008-09-12 11:09:15 AM  
The note that I left on the communal fridge to the "lunch bandit"...

To the person who has been stealing lunches:
I hope you enjoyed the way I taste.


Of course, this opened up a new can of worms at work. But at least no one complained missing lunches after that.

/only wrote the note, didn't do what the note implied.
 
2008-09-12 11:09:43 AM  

robot monkey: Assuming it's in a communal fridge, I'm the kind of co-worker that would toss that in the garbage.

Haha! You no get food anyway!


I bet you're the kind of person that stares at other guys taking a piss too.
 
2008-09-12 11:10:14 AM  

Ant: What kind of scum steals lunch out of the office fridge anyway? I've never had that happen to me.


Likely somebody super duper hungery. I have had a sammich go missing in the past, and rather than becomming a ITG I usualy accapt that the person was far more hard up than I was. Never thought of trying to poison folks with bleach or the like with my luch. Of corse maybe my tune would change if I ever had to deal with a "Chronic lucnh stealer".
 
2008-09-12 11:10:28 AM  
People steal shiat out of the fridge here all of the time. Mostly drinks, but food too.

The kicker is that you have to have clearence to even come into the building, moreso to work here.

We also have somone who buys gallon jugs of milk, probably for coffee, and shoves it into an already overcrowded fridge.

I stopped using it.
 
2008-09-12 11:10:48 AM  
inspireaction.mindandmedia.comView Full Size


"There's milk in the fridge, and Greta made you a sandwich."

/Don't scratch.
 
2008-09-12 11:11:31 AM  
Amateurs. I am a master of piling all sorts of mold filled lunch bags and food containers into the back of the fridge. But then... in the very back corner, buried beneath it all, I will put my totally tasty pastrami sandwich on rye. No one's ever stolen any lunch from me.
 
2008-09-12 11:13:43 AM  

Litig8r: I've never had it happen, either. And I can't understand why anyone would want to in the first place...the idea of eating someone's lunch skeeves me out.


Total agreement. I've not tried it at the new job yet, but the old job was pretty bad about it. People are stupid and greedy. They think the fridge at work is like the fridge at home. As far as stupid: People used to put their lunches in the fridge. They were still in the insulated lunch bag things (keeping the horrible cold of the fridge away from their sammiches AND taking up a ton of space). As far as greedy (and disgusting): Co-worker told me (so not only did he do this...he felt no compunction about telling others that he did it) that he went to the bar after work. There was a half-eaten steak sandwich sitting on one of the tables. It "looked ok", so he ate it.
 
2008-09-12 11:15:15 AM  

bim1154: Years ago we had a problem where I worked. I laced a sandwich with African bird pepper which is a hotter version of cayenne. Later that morning it was obvious who the culprit was...



Similar situation for me about ten years ago...I bought a more vicious version of these:

[image from ecx.images-amazon.com too old to be available]

made by the same company that makes "Dave's Insanity" sauces (they don't make them any more, unfortunately)

Put them in my lunch bag, and labeled the outside of the paper bag with "PLEASE don't eat."

Half an hour later, the fat biatch receptionist that no one could stand, and everyone suspected was the resident food thief was yelping like a wounded chihuahua, guzzling water, and wiping her tongue with kleenix at the water fountain.

GUESS who got written up and threatened with suspension?


(it was worth it)
 
2008-09-12 11:15:25 AM  
What about exploding dye-packs?
 
2008-09-12 11:15:28 AM  
We've simply set up webcams with motion sensors and gotten the thieving janitors fired...
 
2008-09-12 11:17:45 AM  

Timmy the Tumor: GUESS who got written up and threatened with suspension?


for likeing spicy farking jelly beans? I would be farked six ways from sunday, as i like my food a bit hot.
 
2008-09-12 11:17:59 AM  
RE Ant: What kind of scum steals lunch out of the office fridge anyway? I've never had that happen to me.


I suspect a lot of it is people staying late at the office. They can't leave, they have no food handy and for whatever reason, they don't want to order food to be delivered, so they go foraging.

I've had it happen once. I was kinda pissed, as I had just brought it that day or maybe the day before, and was really looking forward to it.
 
2008-09-12 11:18:13 AM  
I just urinate all over my food so if somebody steals it they taste my pee.
 
2008-09-12 11:20:20 AM  
We have a schedule posted on the fridge that states when it will be cleaned out but there is a woman at work who goes through everyone's lunches in the fridge and pitches anything she thinks "doesn't look good." I had chinese food in a sealed container that was dated and she threw it away. When I confronted her she wouldn't even apologize, just kept telling me "Oh, it didn't look good - you wouldn't have wanted to eat that".

I caught her in the act one time and told her she needed to leave other people's food alone. She started pulling stuff out of the trash to show me and asked if she should put it back in the fridge. Um, no. Not after you put it in the trash - just leave it alone in the first place.
 
2008-09-12 11:20:44 AM  

JohnCarter: Ran a distribution facility with 400 workers, had more cameras on the refrigerators in the break room (5 total) than any other spot in the facility. Always enjoyed having conversations with staff when they were caught stealing lunches, and we reviewed the tapes, and they denied it was them.

Good times

Always fun to fire someone for swiping a sammich


I worked at a company long ago when they put in hidden cameras when lunch theft from the plant kitchen fridge was rampant.

The VP walked up to the loading dock guy, "How's that sandwich you're eating? Good? It's mine. You're fired."
 
Displayed 50 of 211 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Newest | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter




In Other Media
Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report