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(BBC)   Moby fights off three attackers singlehanded. Nah, only kidding   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
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16231 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Dec 2002 at 8:33 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

256 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-12-13 08:36:35 AM  
Let me be the first to say:

2002-12-13 08:36:41 AM  
After being punched in the head from behind a few times, I turned around to see what was going on ....," Moby said.

This guy doesn't react .......... really......... quickly. Ohhh wait, something has been hitting my head for the past 3 minutes, I will investigate!
2002-12-13 08:38:09 AM  
Sorry Moby.

I think Moby's a dink, but that is no reason to get blindsided by three thugs.

They should catch these guys relatively quickly as they most likely have been bragging about it for two days, now.
2002-12-13 08:38:16 AM  
well someone is getting a kickass bodyguard now
2002-12-13 08:38:53 AM  
If abused, will not fight back.
If threatend, will not fight back.
If attacked, will not fight back.
If killed, it will be too late to fight back.


2002-12-13 08:40:08 AM  
Another report of this I heard said that the three men said they were Eninem fans.
2002-12-13 08:42:24 AM  
Dude's just attackable.
2002-12-13 08:42:25 AM  
Here we are now going to the south side
I pick up my friends and we hope we won't die
Something hitting my bald head, what the hell?
Two black eyes and my head does swell.
2002-12-13 08:42:40 AM  
He's a pacifist, and believes in forgiveness.

I'm going to start selling moby poking devices, which people can then poke moby with from any distance, and the anger will grow inside him and fester like an engorged leech.

Eventually the hatred and anger will grow and he'll snap.

And when that happens, i will be there. Waiting. Smiling.

Nothing better than farking with a pacifist.
2002-12-13 08:43:14 AM  
"...and Moby, you can get stomped by Obie,
you 36 year old boy, fag, blow me!
You don't know me,
You're too old,
let go,
it's over,
NObody listens to techno!"
2002-12-13 08:43:23 AM  
"After being punched in the head from behind a few times, I turned around to see what was going on ...."

You were being punched, I'd guess.

Of course that's only a first guess.
2002-12-13 08:44:02 AM  
Moby is a decent guy. This is not fair. The guys that did this would not even be able to define what a misogynist is.
2002-12-13 08:44:58 AM  
So does that mean I can download his music and he wont sue me ?
2002-12-13 08:45:14 AM  
Why did he have to punched a few times before it was time to see what is going on?

Usually one punch is enough to tell you what is happening!

Probably spaced on something....mind altering.
2002-12-13 08:46:09 AM  
I think it was some of Captain Ahab's men.
2002-12-13 08:46:11 AM  
While I really, REALLY, REALLY hate Moby, no one deserves a cheap shot like that. If you want to kick Moby's ass, do it to his face. I'm sure it wouldn't be much harder than the cheap shot way but at least you don't look like a sissy pansy ass for fighting dirty and then running away.
2002-12-13 08:46:36 AM  
Moby wants to know why he was attacked. I'll tell you why: because they knew he wouldn't fight back.

For this reason, nerds all over the world will always be the target of bullies.

Stand up for yourself, man.
2002-12-13 08:47:25 AM  
Even though I don't agree with what these attackers did, Moby is annoying and his music stinks!
2002-12-13 08:47:47 AM  
Yeah, it sucks he got beat on, but it's like George Carlin said. There are three levels in the brain. There's the human brain which says "Give Peace a Chance." There's the mammalian brain which says "Give Peace a Chance, but first let's kill this motherfarker." Then there's the reptilian brain, which just says "Let's kill this motherfarker, go to the peace rally and get laid." Peace is a nice idea, but until everyone agrees on it, it won't work.
2002-12-13 08:49:00 AM  
Moby actually stands for something, unlike most of you farkers. May three men beat the shiat out of anyone who insults Moby.
2002-12-13 08:50:32 AM  
They could've just been music reviewers taking a more direct approach.
2002-12-13 08:53:00 AM  
I agree that Moby is somewhat annoying, but, like some have said, no one deserves to get attacked like that. And, to Moby's credit, he makes a valid point. Why three guys? I think most schoolgirls could kick his ass, much less three adult males. Bullies suck. However, pacifism is overrated. I'm all about peace and love, but if three guys jump me, I'm only gonna turn the other cheek long enough to grab a pipe or a 2x4 and do my best to mash 'em into gutter pancakes.
2002-12-13 08:53:18 AM  
"I'm very curious as to why three men would coordinate an attack on me. You know, three against one? And the 'one' in question is me, hardly the most physically threatening person in the world.
At least he realizes that he's not physically imposing. Sure, YNada, he stands for something, but that's never going to protect anyone from ridicule. I agree that someone smackin' Moby around is pretty hard-up for bragging rights. Sad. Nice that you'd add a mean wish to people who heave insults. WWMD?
2002-12-13 08:54:22 AM  
Come on... A guy who looks like this deserves a beating!

[image from too old to be available]
2002-12-13 08:54:35 AM  

"Curious, Why? 12/12/2002 - Boston
brief update...
we played a concert tonight at a small club in boston, the paradise club. and after the show i went outside to get into my car. and there werea few people waiting for autographs, so as usual i stopped to sign a few things.
and then all of a sudden i was attacked by (i believe) 3 men with mace.they punched me from behind and i really had no idea what was going on.

i assumed that a bar-fight had spilled out of the bar and that somehow i had gotten caught in the middle of it.
but no. after being punched in the head from behind a few times i turned around to see what was going on and one of them punched me in the face a couple of times and then they all ran away.
so now i'm sitting here bloody and beaten up and waiting to file a police report.

the assault could've been a lot worse. but i'm very curious as to why 3 men would coordinate an attack on me? you know, 3 against 1? and the'one' in question is me, hardly the most physically threatening person in the world. so if one or more of the people who attacked me tonight happen to be reading this, i'd be really curious to know why you attacked me.
you could anonymously sign on to the boards and describe the attack from your perspective. i'm honestly very curious.
and if anyone sees me in the next couple of weeks and i have some big bruises or stitches on my face, well at least you know why.
thanks. moby"

"12/12/2002 - Boston
and to the nice people who were standing in the rain outside of the paradise club, please don't let the fact that i was attacked ruin your night. i'm not badly hurt. really. just some bruisesand cuts. so please don't worry about me, ok?it was a really great night apart from the ending, so please don't be upset on my behalf, cos i'm fine. just beaten up.
it's happened before, actually. when i was working at the beat (a nightclub that used to be in port chester, new york) i ended up getting punched a few times. usually by belligerent drunks who were punching anything that moved. there was this one time in particular where i was working and a bar-fight started. i stepped out of my dj booth and this giant preppy guy just smashed me in the face with his fist. i fell down and he looked at me like he was going to hit me again but then the police showed up and dragged him and hisdrunken preppy friend to the police station.
i went down to the station to file a report and these two huge football-playing preppy guys who had attacked me were sitting in the police station crying and saying that they hadn't done anything. when the police had actually SEEN them hit me and some other people. the preppy bullies said that the bar staff (me included) had started the fight. the bar staff consisted of a female bartender who weighed 100 pounds soaking wet, me, and a doorman who was asleep.

but i digress. regarding the 3 guys who attacked me tonight, i'm not angry. i don't feel vindictive. not to sound weird or wimpy, but i'm a pacifist and i believe in forgiveness. i just hope that at some point in these guy's lives they come to realize that hurting other people is wrong.
and i'm left very confused as to why these guys wanted to attack me in the first place. maybe they don't like skinny bald guys who play coversongs? i'm sure that's it. it's my fault, i should've posted a warning on the entrance to the club, 'warning: tonights show will at time be comprised of cover songs poorly played by moby, a skinny bald musician.'
then they would've known and they could've avoided our performance and all of this trouble never would've happened.
see, we're all a little bit wiser now, aren't's like 'the lion king', we laughed, we cried, we ran the gamut of emotions. goodnight again."

God, he makes me want to puke.
2002-12-13 08:54:44 AM  
Hizzout, I agree with most of your sentiment. However, in general, I really like Moby's music - up until his latest album, and excepting probably animal rights, his stuff has been really brilliant.

Personally I think it's a bit stupid to say, "oh, your last album was good, but this one sucks, so NOW YOU SUCK FOREVER YOU TWIT!" I've written a ton of music myself.. you don't just ride an ever-ascending spiral of improvement. You get some right, you fark some up. Deal. On the whole, he's done a lot of great stuff and made my life a little cooler 'cos I've been able to listen to it. Regardless of whether or not he's weird, or a pacifist, or has screwed up his latest CD, that's worth something to me.
2002-12-13 08:56:07 AM  
You have to be a real pu$$y to start a fight with Moby. Gimme a break. It's like beating up Woody Allen or something. And 3 guys? They must be real tough? They probably all circle jerked to an Eminem record afterwards.
P.S. I don't listen to Moby's music (I have a copy of Play, which I listened to a few times and thought was decent) but Moby seems like a pretty nice guy, and he writes and says some really funny stuff.
2002-12-13 08:56:49 AM  

I don't think I've ever heard it said better. Bullies don't want to be understood, and they can't stand being ignored. It's a lesson I wish I had learned before my own high school.

2002-12-13 08:57:52 AM  
Laughing myself hoarse Bark_atda_moon and AutomaticHatstand. That's some funny stuff. I hate Moby too, but I think it does suck that he keeps getting beat on. How anyone could ask "how can this happen" is beyond me though. Look at the guy. Yes sorry YNada, no one should DARE speak an ill word of Moby. Please. I'm happy for you that you like him and whatnot, but the fact that you do does not obligate the rest of us to. May three men beat the shiat out of you because you're so stupid.
2002-12-13 08:58:45 AM  
Eminem... Said it best"and moby you can get stomped by obi"
2002-12-13 09:01:54 AM  
m&m SUCKS!! ;)
2002-12-13 09:01:58 AM  
Thanks King of Toast,

I don't mind his music, I just think these psuedo-celebrity do-gooders are lame. People that are applauding his pacifism are probably the same people that would call him a *&(^&*(^ arsehole if he dodged the draft (realizes there is no war on right now).

/peace sells, who's buying?
2002-12-13 09:02:17 AM  
The Channel 7(WHDH Boston) news tagline graphic last night was "Punched at the Paradise".

2002-12-13 09:03:51 AM  
I saw the report that they were Eminem fans too...but it was in The Sun, so they could all be Slipknot fans or even members of the British Royal family for all we know...
2002-12-13 09:03:56 AM  
"In his online journal, Moby told how he first thought he had got caught up in the remains of a bar fight - but soon realised that the assault was probably personal. "

Where was Eminem when all this was going on?
2002-12-13 09:04:20 AM  
"12-13-02 08:49:00 AM YNada
Moby actually stands for something, unlike most of you farkers. May three men beat the shiat out of anyone who insults Moby."

The Black Panthers stood for something. The KKK stand for something. Scientologists stand for something too but that doesn't mean any of these groups or individuals deserve my admiration and respect.

Moby annoys me...he always has. His music in my opinion has always been over rated even back when he actually spun records. I'm one of the biggest electronic music nuts around too but Moby has never lived up to the hype.
2002-12-13 09:06:06 AM  
Oh, and I wasn't lumping the KKK, Black Panthers, and Scientologists together....they all just REALLY annoy me.
2002-12-13 09:11:11 AM  
I like Moby, and what happened to him is just stupid, and if there was a draft he dodged it, I'd like him even more. Next thing you know is he'll get shot for using his time at the music awards the other night for talking about Bowling for Columbine instead futhering his own career.

and though it may not even be related, the whole Eminem thing. He's a dink, and even if I like the idea of pacifism, I'd like to beat on Eminem for just being stupid, after all, he's just like the 2nd coming of VAnilla Ice. Maybe it's another view I picked up from reading Michael Moore, but I don't really like white people even though I am one.
2002-12-13 09:11:50 AM  
"It's time to fight back", that's what Huey said,
Two shots in the dark, now Huey's dead
2002-12-13 09:13:27 AM  
It's weird, because I love fark and everything, but this thread has convinced me that almost all of you are farking idiots. The guy got cheapshotted while signing autographs for fans and all you can say is that "he's annoying and I'm glad he got beat". You're fvcking speds.
2002-12-13 09:17:54 AM  
Blarp, FARK is just a microcosm of society in general. 90% of humans are farking idiots. IMHO.

I'm glad they identify themselves so readily, actually. ;)

Poor Moby. I don't like his music much, but I don't wish the man to be beat up by drunken thugs. They were cowards. Pitiful, but there you are.
2002-12-13 09:18:55 AM  
Moby should be packing heat from now on.

It's the USA folks, fill up the clip and keep one in the hold.
2002-12-13 09:19:33 AM  
Sorry, Blarp, but I don't see that as a general attitude in most of the posts here. Most of them are like, "Well, I don't care for him, and I think that he's a wussy, but dude! Three of them, attacking him from behind?" Nice attack on an attitude that isn't there, though.
2002-12-13 09:22:09 AM  
Guy gets beat up - whoopdy-farking-doo. He got beat up doing his job. It'd happen to me as well, but I have skills with my fist that go beyond masturbating. Maybe Moby should learn the same, or get some decent bodyguards. It's the assailants' fault for attacking him, but also him for not being prepared to defend.
2002-12-13 09:23:35 AM  
Hey, Moby--call me next time you go out in public. I live in your neighborhood. I'll watch your back.
2002-12-13 09:23:45 AM  
Poor Moby. How come he doesn't have any bodyguards?
2002-12-13 09:25:28 AM  

Actually, I think it's Fark wishing he had the cajones to stand up for himself. I think this kind of pacifism is self-defeating.

I even liked South Side (at least the one without Gwen).

I don't wish anyone to be cheapshoted; but I realize now that if I had fought back, when I was going through the same thing in high school, I'd probably have gotten a lot more respect. It's the same here.

2002-12-13 09:26:02 AM  
But why is the guy going around with no bodyguard(s)? Is he afraid it would be perceived as an escalation of violence or what? He sure can afford some security and peace of mind.
2002-12-13 09:26:52 AM  
The attackers must have been hopped up on beef or pork or something. Be damned you meat addicts, be damned.
2002-12-13 09:27:47 AM  
Poor Moby. I don't like his music much, but I don't wish the man to be beat up by drunken thugs. They were cowards. Pitiful, but there you are.

Cowards true...

But if they meet me?

Cowards with MEDALS!

Moby is no better than the average E/N-spouting, LiveJournal-writing, Angst-whining little teenage biatches that cry about how their life sucks.

Moral of the story:

Life sucks, and if people think you suck, they will find you and punch you in the head. Thus proving that life sucks.
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