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(The Smoking Gun)   Today's "I got glued to a Home Depot toilet so I'm suing yer arse off" story comes to you from St. Louis. TSG is there   (thesmokinggun.com) divider line
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22882 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jun 2008 at 3:00 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



184 Comments     (+0 »)


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Ape Shiat Nuts
2008-06-16 3:02:54 PM  
That's why I poop at Lowes!
 
Otto_von_Prawn
2008-06-16 3:03:07 PM  
Home Dump-o?
 
seminole87
2008-06-16 3:03:22 PM  
I'm glued to a toilet seat so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies ...
 
DogS laughter
2008-06-16 3:03:24 PM  
What kind of idiot plops down on a public toilet seat without looking to see if it's clean?
 
california_jeff
2008-06-16 3:03:30 PM  
Would like to see this guy's face glued to his ass. What a douche.
 
FarkFish
2008-06-16 3:03:40 PM  
JaBlowme?
 
Uncle Pim
2008-06-16 3:04:04 PM  
There's a Larry Craig joke in this story somewhere...
 
jaylectricity [TotalFark]
2008-06-16 3:04:18 PM  
What stops me from gluing myself to the toilet and profiting?

I mean shiat, the glue is on the shelf 100 yards away from the toilet!
 
stephen02tb
2008-06-16 3:04:29 PM  
DogS laughter: What kind of idiot plops down on a public toilet seat without looking to see if it's clean?

someone who put the glue there first in preparation for their "lawsuit"
 
daveydave
2008-06-16 3:04:41 PM  
Home Depot restrooms are currently the #1 meeting place for foot tappers. And ass glueings.
 
idrow
2008-06-16 3:05:25 PM  
In November 2005, a Colorado man filed a similar lawsuit against Home Depot, alleging that he was so fused to a toilet seat that paramedics had to remove the seat from the toilet to get him out of the store bathroom. After almost two years of litigation, the Colorado case was dismissed.

Rosales's lawsuit refers to the earlier incident, charging that Home Depot should have recognized that "there would be a strong possibility that instances of copycat behavior would occur."

I bet this guy glued his ass there hoping to get a payout not realizing it's been tried before and thrown out. D'oh!
 
Bloody Templar
2008-06-16 3:05:51 PM  
DogS laughter: What kind of idiot plops down on a public toilet seat without looking to see if it's clean?

This. I loathe using public johns because other men are unclean, dirty bastards. So I look for a paper ass gasket. At a minimum, I give the seat a good wipe-down with TP.
 
MIguy
2008-06-16 3:06:38 PM  
When I was a dickwad teenager, we used to put drops of super glue on the drinking fountain button. Ahhhhh the good old days.
 
jaylectricity [TotalFark]
2008-06-16 3:06:45 PM  
daveydave: Home Depot restrooms are currently the #1 meeting place for foot tappers. And ass glueings.

Well there are a bunch of guys there that get hammered and like to screw.
 
turbid
2008-06-16 3:06:50 PM  
comedycentral.com
been there, done that
 
sparky1013
2008-06-16 3:07:01 PM  
poop happens...
 
DogS laughter
2008-06-16 3:07:02 PM  
Bloody Templar: DogS laughter: What kind of idiot plops down on a public toilet seat without looking to see if it's clean?

This. I loathe using public johns because other men are unclean, dirty bastards. So I look for a paper ass gasket. At a minimum, I give the seat a good wipe-down with TP.

This.
 
RedfordRenegade
2008-06-16 3:07:50 PM  
If I found a guy that was glued to the toilet seat, I would ball up the largest ball of toilet paper I could, soak it in water and whip it at his face.

Then I'd say,"Well, you gona shiat or get off the pot buddy"
 
amaranthe
2008-06-16 3:07:55 PM  
FTFA: "...[a previous similar]case was dismissed after a federal judge ruled that Home Depot did not have prior "actual or constructive knowledge" of the dangerous toilet, nor was the glue prank foreseeable. Rosales's lawsuit refers to the earlier incident, charging that Home Depot should have recognized that "there would be a strong possibility that instances of copycat behavior would occur."

Yes, a very strong possibility, since there you were doing it...

I hope they throw this out... Otherwise, every moran will be in HD gluing his asscheeks to things and then yelling 'physical and emotional trauma'...

Then again, how dumb would I feel if I really did sit in superglue in a public potty? That has to be really embarrassing!
 
Psumek
2008-06-16 3:08:41 PM  
Seriously so lets set this up.

1) Wait for someone to come in to take a dump.
2) Put super glue on seat, flush toilet
3) Sucker walks in and doesn't notice wet stuff on toilet seat
4) "OH MY GOODNESS I'M STUCK TO SEAT!!!1!!!"

/Step 5) Profit?
 
TossedSaladMan
2008-06-16 3:09:18 PM  
So the incentive for a retailer to offer restrooms to the public is????
 
seminole87
2008-06-16 3:09:20 PM  
imo this gets dismissed, what are they going to do guard the toilet stalls 24/7???
 
jaylectricity [TotalFark]
2008-06-16 3:09:32 PM  
Bloody Templar: I loathe using public johns because other men are unclean, dirty bastards. So I look for a paper ass gasket. At a minimum, I give the seat a good wipe-down with TP.

Oh STFU you don't know what you're talking about. You ever see a woman's bathroom? The shiat in there is disgusting. I've been in both and the women win the dirtiest bathroom award.
 
jaylectricity [TotalFark]
2008-06-16 3:10:28 PM  
TossedSaladMan: So the incentive for a retailer to offer restrooms to the public is????

Because they have many toilets on display in the store and they need to keep those clean.
 
A Tout Le Monde
2008-06-16 3:11:10 PM  
Psumek: Seriously so lets set this up.

1) Wait for someone to come in to take a dump.
2) Put super glue on seat, flush toilet
3) Sucker walks in and doesn't notice wet stuff on toilet seat
4) "OH MY GOODNESS I'M STUCK TO SEAT!!!1!!!"

/Step 5) Profit?

More like:

1) Put superglue on toilet
2) Flush the evidence.
3) Sit down on it.
4) Call your wife whining and crying about being pranked.
5) Sue/Profit!
 
mesohorny
2008-06-16 3:11:44 PM  
i bet he glued his own ass to the toilet seat and flushed the tube.

most adhesives air dry in about 5 mins.
 
amaranthe
2008-06-16 3:11:52 PM  
jaylectricity: Bloody Templar: I loathe using public johns because other men are unclean, dirty bastards. So I look for a paper ass gasket. At a minimum, I give the seat a good wipe-down with TP.

Oh STFU you don't know what you're talking about. You ever see a woman's bathroom? The shiat in there is disgusting. I've been in both and the women win the dirtiest bathroom award.


I didn't see anything there that said women were clean -- just that 'other men' were not. Are you saying that men are not messy in bathrooms, ever? Or are you just hatin' for the fun of it?
 
DogS laughter
2008-06-16 3:11:52 PM  
jaylectricity: Bloody Templar: I loathe using public johns because other men are unclean, dirty bastards. So I look for a paper ass gasket. At a minimum, I give the seat a good wipe-down with TP.

Oh STFU you don't know what you're talking about. You ever see a woman's bathroom? The shiat in there is disgusting. I've been in both and the women win the dirtiest bathroom award.

You've been in both? I hope you were the janitor.
 
AlwaysRightBoy [TotalFark]
2008-06-16 3:11:53 PM  
If this guy did not check the seat first, it's his own fault.
/probably did it to himself for the money
 
M Bison
2008-06-16 3:11:53 PM  
jaylectricity: What stops me from gluing myself to the toilet and profiting?

The fact that the last case of this type got thrown out of court?
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2008-06-16 3:12:33 PM  
FTFA (first page of the filing):

Putting glue on the seat "rendered the toilet unreasonably safe."

WTF?
 
airplayne
2008-06-16 3:13:19 PM  
Once I had an emergency nature call and walked into a bathroom to find that the only commode in the entire place had feces wiped on the floor and walls and some still on the toilet seat. Since I didn't have the time to find another bathroom I doubled up on the ass-gasket and tried to finish my business as quickly as possible.
 
Aevum
2008-06-16 3:13:57 PM  
Tag REALLY should have been Asinine.
I mean... seriously...
 
DogS laughter
2008-06-16 3:14:01 PM  
amaranthe

Cool simulpost.
 
A Tout Le Monde
2008-06-16 3:14:21 PM  
Psumek,

Nevermind that was redundant.
 
drsewell
2008-06-16 3:15:24 PM  
It's not like he got his jewels stuck between the wooden slats of a chair.
 
Morton_toes
2008-06-16 3:15:42 PM  
Wow, I just refuse to touch my ass on anything that I or my wife haven't personally cleaned. Well, maybe at the home of a friend, relative or aquaintance, but rare even there. Fortunately, I've been blessed to be a pretty "regular" guy, so it's not often a problem when I'm out. There have been a few occasions when I absolutely could not wait, but I will clench with the strength of ten men if I think I can make it home. Made it every time, so far...

/everyone's got their "thing", that's mine.
 
cheezalot
2008-06-16 3:16:06 PM  
I'm stuck to my chair. I'm so very scared. Help. (new window)
 
mrapier
2008-06-16 3:16:18 PM  
Once when I was young (8 or 9) I went shopping with my mom and she had to use the restroom. She was in there for a long time and so I yelled into the stall that she should hurry up because "the rapture was happening outside and Jesus was there and she was missing it".
I got into so much trouble.

/we were evangelicals at the time and that wasn't something to joke about.
 
ScottMpls
2008-06-16 3:17:45 PM  
I always at least wipe down a seat in a public restroom. Apparently, this shiathead was in too much of a hurry ...
 
moops
2008-06-16 3:18:08 PM  
Ape Shiat Nuts: That's why I poop at Lowes!

Sweet, a poop thread in the Boobies.

I've taken the Browns to the Super Bowl twice today. I'm not sure what I ate yesterday.
 
Bloody Templar
2008-06-16 3:18:16 PM  
airplayne: Once I had an emergency nature call and walked into a bathroom to find that the only commode in the entire place had feces wiped on the floor and walls and some still on the toilet seat. Since I didn't have the time to find another bathroom I doubled up on the ass-gasket and tried to finish my business as quickly as possible.

Wife and I went camping at a state park in TX once and I found that same situation in not one, but BOTH stalls in the men's restroom at 2 AM! Not just smeared everywhere, but piles of it.

So I went to the ladies restroom. Which was fine, until someone came in to the stall next to me, did her thing, and then asked if I had some spare TP. In the highest-pitched voice I could muster, I grunted, "nuh-uh."

/That's why we have a camper with its own bathroom now.
 
crazycooter
2008-06-16 3:19:02 PM  
So how long before Home Depot stops selling clear adhesive? or maybe they could just put a container of paint thinner wipes in each stall so in case you get stuck you can just slather some paint thinner on your ass and remove it.
 
Glitchwerks
2008-06-16 3:19:42 PM  
cheezalot: I'm stuck to my chair. I'm so very scared. Help. (new window)

Good times, good times.
 
Stavag
2008-06-16 3:20:51 PM  
Contact info for these asshat lawyers provided in TFA. Should fark their emails, at the very least.
 
ansuz07
2008-06-16 3:21:12 PM  
I like that both lawyers list their emails @gmail.com.
 
Morton_toes
2008-06-16 3:22:05 PM  
mrapier: Once when I was young (8 or 9) I went shopping with my mom and she had to use the restroom. She was in there for a long time and so I yelled into the stall that she should hurry up because "the rapture was happening outside and Jesus was there and she was missing it".
I got into so much trouble.

/we were evangelicals at the time and that wasn't something to joke about.

Damn! I just knew it would happen while I was busy! Hold on Lord, I'm comin'! er...I'm going. Why does this shiat always happen to
 
trappedspirit
2008-06-16 3:23:57 PM  
ScottMpls: I always at least wipe down a seat in a public restroom. Apparently, this shiathead was in too much of a hurry ...

That
 
DogS laughter
2008-06-16 3:24:33 PM  
mrapier: Once when I was young (8 or 9) I went shopping with my mom and she had to use the restroom. She was in there for a long time and so I yelled into the stall that she should hurry up because "the rapture was happening outside and Jesus was there and she was missing it".
I got into so much trouble.

/we were evangelicals at the time and that wasn't something to joke about.

That's funny. I'll bet you were an annoying little brat :)
 
tamsnod27
2008-06-16 3:24:48 PM  
Bloody Templar: airplayne: Once I had an emergency nature call and walked into a bathroom to find that the only commode in the entire place had feces wiped on the floor and walls and some still on the toilet seat. Since I didn't have the time to find another bathroom I doubled up on the ass-gasket and tried to finish my business as quickly as possible.

Wife and I went camping at a state park in TX once and I found that same situation in not one, but BOTH stalls in the men's restroom at 2 AM! Not just smeared everywhere, but piles of it.

So I went to the ladies restroom. Which was fine, until someone came in to the stall next to me, did her thing, and then asked if I had some spare TP. In the highest-pitched voice I could muster, I grunted, "nuh-uh."

/That's why we have a camper with its own bathroom now.

SHIDDERS FULL!!!
 
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