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(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   Motivational speaker arrested for attempted murder, reminds us to chase our dreams   (startribune.com) divider line
    More: Scary  
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11057 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 May 2008 at 12:18 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



102 Comments     (+0 »)


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2008-05-23 8:51:46 AM  
Every "motivational speaker" I've ever met on a personal level--and I've met more than a handful--has been a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode. I wonder if any profession has a higher percentage of raging alcoholics.
 
2008-05-23 8:55:55 AM  
Chase our dreams and hack them to bits?
 
2008-05-23 8:56:47 AM  
photos.imageevent.comView Full Size
 
2008-05-23 8:59:04 AM  
So there's no question of motive, then?
 
2008-05-23 9:17:03 AM  
Kyosuke: So there's no question of motive, then?

FTA: According to authorities, after a night of drinking with an old prison buddy, Simon - high on alcohol and meth - took off all his clothes and began fighting with the man.

It's pretty obvious that his old "buddy" wouldn't put out.
 
2008-05-23 9:45:19 AM  
Did you realize the Chinese symbol for "alcohol- and methamphetamine-fueled shooting spree" is the same as the symbol for "opportunity"?
 
2008-05-23 10:17:28 AM  
See? Jim Cunningham was wrong. This guy wasn't motivated by fear or anger. Just meth, booze, and his jail buddy's ass.
 
2008-05-23 10:40:58 AM  
Nestea Plunge

good to see i wasn't the only one to think of that
 
2008-05-23 12:04:46 PM  
does it make me a bad person that I was kinda hoping it was this guy?
vickihayward.wsView Full Size
 
2008-05-23 12:23:31 PM  
img396.imageshack.usView Full Size
 
2008-05-23 12:24:14 PM  
here is a link to the best motivational speaker ever (new window). Not a roll I promise.

For more in this great man do a google search for rofl (sic) lundgren
 
2008-05-23 12:24:49 PM  
I've always been a bit skeptical of motivational speakers. Sure, there's nothing wrong with people talking to audiences about their experiences or struggles. But to make a career of it suggests more than a bit of narcissism.
 
2008-05-23 12:26:11 PM  
Nestea Plunge

That didn't take long *snicker*
 
2008-05-23 12:26:35 PM  
If you are a "motivational speaker" or a "life coach" or a "preacher" I implore you to attempt to murder yourself. And succeed.
 
2008-05-23 12:26:45 PM  
So you can't reform convicts? Big surprise. Shoot them all.
 
2008-05-23 12:27:40 PM  
Nestea Plunge:

I came in here to ask if he was living in a van down by the river. I see you have it covered.

Carry on.
 
2008-05-23 12:27:48 PM  
FTFA: Simon did not immediately return a phone message left at the jail by The Associated Press on Thursday night.

Did they really expect expect him to call back right away?

AP: Hi, is Russell home?
Warden: No, he can't come to the phone right now. He's coming down from quite the bender. Did you want to leave a message?
AP: Yeah, that's what I was calling about. Just have him call me back later.
Warden: Mmmkay, I'll let him know.
AP: Thanks, bye bye.

/I was hoping it was old banana fingers too
 
2008-05-23 12:27:50 PM  
Russell Simon Jr motivated me to post in this thread.

/Nothing can stop me now!
 
2008-05-23 12:28:11 PM  
A steady diet of government cheese will do that to ya.
 
2008-05-23 12:29:36 PM  
SushiJoe: does it make me a bad person that I was kinda hoping it was this guy?

Maybe, but I'm with you.
 
2008-05-23 12:31:11 PM  
I be he lived in A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!
 
2008-05-23 12:31:12 PM  
Lacking the wood chipper, I see.
 
2008-05-23 12:32:49 PM  
What's his Fark login?
 
2008-05-23 12:33:01 PM  
Attempted murder? Sounds like he needed to be a little bit more....wait for it.....motivated
 
2008-05-23 12:33:25 PM  
[image from i.rollingstone.com too old to be available]

Respect the cock!
 
2008-05-23 12:34:49 PM  
Sybarite: Did you realize the Chinese symbol for "alcohol- and methamphetamine-fueled shooting spree" is the same as the symbol for "opportunity"?

I saw what you did there, and it was magnificent.
 
2008-05-23 12:35:48 PM  
tuna fingers: Respect the cock!

I was born in '69, so I'm getting a kick out of this response.
 
2008-05-23 12:36:12 PM  
i221.photobucket.comView Full Size



...and do you think she ate ice cream?

//that scene made me want to punch him
 
2008-05-23 12:37:25 PM  
SushiJoe: does it make me a bad person that I was kinda hoping it was this guy?

That is exactly what I was hoping for too.
 
2008-05-23 12:37:28 PM  
Chase your dreams! Then stab and stab and STAB them

'til they stop moving.

/Farking dreams had it coming. Where TF was Jenna Jameson last night?
 
2008-05-23 12:37:49 PM  
Attempted murder? Come on! Do they give out the Nobel prize for attempted chemistry?
 
2008-05-23 12:39:40 PM  
I doubt his commitment to Sparkle Motion.
 
2008-05-23 12:41:20 PM  
"According to authorities, after a night of drinking with an old prison buddy, Simon - high on alcohol and meth - took off all his clothes and began fighting with the man."

Oh, it's just an old lovers' quarrel ...
 
2008-05-23 12:41:30 PM  
SushiJoe:
I was kinda hopin the same thing.
 
2008-05-23 12:43:07 PM  
This reminds me of this great SNL skit Chris Farley did. He was talking to these kids about the dangers of drug use or something. Anyways, he wound up breaking their table and yelling a lot, something about living in a van by a stream or pond. You should look for it on youtube.
 
2008-05-23 12:43:10 PM  
really awakened that giant within...

the giant a**hole
 
2008-05-23 12:51:27 PM  
"According to authorities, after a night of drinking with an old prison buddy, Simon - high on alcohol and meth - took off all his clothes and began fighting with the man. . . ended with Simon pulling a gun and firing as many as seven times. . .The woman and her 9-year-old son, who saw many of the events unfold, were taken in for questioning. Simon allegedly sexually assaulted her in front of her son."

You go on one meth-fueled-naked-fighting-sexual-assaulting-while-a-minor-watches shooting spree and everyone gets their panties in a bunch. America is filled with such prudes. Adults like to do drugs and assault and shoot at each other sometimes. Get over it.

Wow.
 
2008-05-23 12:52:27 PM  
SushiJoe I didn't realize Lurch was a motivational speaker. He cleans up pretty good.

Also this.
 
2008-05-23 12:55:39 PM  
Is it Ted Haggard?
 
2008-05-23 12:56:21 PM  
th96.photobucket.com
 
2008-05-23 12:56:23 PM  
everlastinggobstopper: Attempted murder? Sounds like he needed to be a little bit more....wait for it.....motivated

Exactly what I was thinking. I ain't paying no motivational speaker for getting me to ATTEMPT to change my life.
 
2008-05-23 12:56:44 PM  
graphics8.nytimes.comView Full Size

Thinks that you're doing it wrong and should try his 9 step "Refuse to Lose" method.
 
2008-05-23 12:57:31 PM  
Bail is a "high $1,000,000", not the usual low $1,000,000.
 
2008-05-23 12:59:57 PM  
This story has a very Florida-esque feel to it.

/confused
//a little let down
///need some motivation
 
2008-05-23 1:01:30 PM  
mark12A: So you can't reform convicts? Big surprise. Shoot them all.

THERE you go! Newsletter, etc.
 
2008-05-23 1:01:49 PM  
Simon's program, called "10 Seconds Can Change Your Life Forever"
Not the kind of motivation i was looking for.... however a great way to change your life...in 10 seconds... forever...
 
2008-05-23 1:02:48 PM  
Inflatable Rhetoric: Bail is a "high $1,000,000", not the usual low $1,000,000.

As opposed to the more typical $100k or so.
 
2008-05-23 1:04:06 PM  
[image from successuniversityuk.com too old to be available]

Disapproves.
 
2008-05-23 1:04:54 PM  
kennedy311: Sybarite: Did you realize the Chinese symbol for "alcohol- and methamphetamine-fueled shooting spree" is the same as the symbol for "opportunity"?

I saw what you did there, and it was magnificent.


I need to get a broin. I don't get it. I feel like an idiot because I want to get everything on Fark. It is my measure as a man. I want to see magnificence! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!!!
 
2008-05-23 1:06:59 PM  
i267.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
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