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(NewsNet5)   local jackass, dies from jackass stunt   ( newsnet5.com) divider line
    More: Stupid  
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196 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Nov 2002 at 2:37 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

177 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-11-22 03:39:23 PM  
I think it's truly disgusting and despicable that all you farkheads are happy that this kid just lost his life. For those of you saying, "Darwin" this and "good for the gene pool" that, it disturbs me deeply to know that there are human beings on this planet with such a blatant disregard for human life that they find it necessary to openly judge a spur of the moment decision by a teenager as something that he "deserved". Further, you are all acting as though you have never done anything stupid that could have easily turned out as bad as this did for this particular youngster.

I think everyone should take a step back and...

...ah, fark it, you're right. The jackass deserved it. Burn in hell, moron.
2002-11-22 03:39:57 PM  
Ahh, I beg to differ Squidloe. I did things as a kid that, at the time, I didn't consider life-threatening. But, now that I look back, I know that I was not being responsible or safe.
2002-11-22 03:39:57 PM  
Ahh, I beg to differ Squidloe. I did things as a kid that, at the time, I didn't consider life-threatening. But, now that I look back, I know that I was not being responsible or safe.
2002-11-22 03:40:29 PM  
There was nothing Jackassy (A new word?) about it. When I was in high school, we once threw a toilet out of a moving truck. It was not one of my more stellar moments, but there. It happened. Then, everyone blamed it on Porky's. Jackass has an entire camera crew, Teamsters, Craft services for meals, stuntmen, stunt coordinators, safety equipment, etc. Yeah, some of the stuff they do probably hurts, but there's little chance of permanent damage to themselves, and they have insurance to cover the property damage.

Except for Steve-O. That dude is nuckin futs. Seriously. I do not want to meet this moron. Truly warped individual who will be dead in less than 5 years. Hopefully before he breeds.
2002-11-22 03:42:12 PM  
If Jackass never had came about, they would blame stunt men (and women). How many people in the 70s tried to jump things (and failed) a la Evel Kineval (sp)?
2002-11-22 03:42:16 PM  
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if the family of the deceased would ready this ...

And then I think about how he died, and realize just how funny it is.

Condolences to family, but he was still a moron. ^_^
2002-11-22 03:43:17 PM  
Grats Darwin!
2002-11-22 03:43:19 PM  
The more I see stuff like this the more I think everyone between the ages of 12-25 should be thinned out, and we just start over.

or I'm just getting old.
2002-11-22 03:43:28 PM  
Double, post,:) with added commas to irritate the nazis, , , ,, ,,,,,,, ,,
2002-11-22 03:44:32 PM  
Iloveburns: www.tiffin.edu It's a university. One with morons - and at least one burnt chair.
2002-11-22 03:44:52 PM  
WHY......Why are people so stupid?!
*sighs and shakes head*
2002-11-22 03:46:33 PM  

Bwahahahahah. Moron.

"If you hear the words 'Hey, ya'll watch this!', stand back, because it's likely to be the last words that man will say."
2002-11-22 03:49:35 PM  
"They were apparently trying to throw the burning chair out of the truck when it took off unexpectedly"

Well apparently that chair did not want to be set on fire!
stop drop and WHAM!
2002-11-22 03:49:58 PM  
Monkey see monkey do! (marge simpson)
2002-11-22 03:52:46 PM  
Because you didn't have the mental capacity to reason that something may be dangerous does not excuse you from being deemd a dumb kid. He is the poster child for dumb kids everywhere. You were one of the lucky ones who didn't die because of your stupidty and ignorance. Good to see your still alive and still polluting the gene pool as HarryBeanBag implied.
2002-11-22 03:53:46 PM  
And the herd thins...
2002-11-22 03:57:37 PM  
I'm sueing Warner Brothers because they didn't put a disclaimer on the Bugs and Daffy cartoon. My head still hurts from the cast iron frying pan.

This boy is a [image from too old to be available]
2002-11-22 04:00:57 PM  
P1000 - blame the manufacturers of the pick up truck? Because some farker was throwing a chair he had lit on fire out of the back of it? Abso - farking - lutely, that's a design defect on the manufacturer's part. The only design defect that needs legal attention here is the birth of this moron. Surely alcohol was involved somewhere other than the hairspray. at least that could be an excuse... nah, he's a moron, drunk or sober.
2002-11-22 04:02:19 PM  
here u go
[image from darwinawards.com too old to be available]
2002-11-22 04:04:30 PM  
Dear God,

Please tell me it was videotaped.
2002-11-22 04:07:31 PM  
I like the way you guys jump to the conclusion that he died because he was stupid.

Maybe, just maybe, the chair spontaneously combusted. Oh sure, the police SAY the kids were trying to light it on fire with hairspray, but I think the kid thought it was a small fire extinguisher and was trying to save his friends. When the hair spray made the fire worse, he tried to toss the chair out of the truck, but his stupid friend panicked and pushed him out of the way.

So really he's a hero.
2002-11-22 04:12:59 PM  
What the hell does the chair have to do with anything? Article says he fell out of the truck and hit his head on the curb.
2002-11-22 04:13:43 PM  
ok, the kid fell of the back of a truck when it moved. he bumped his noggin and died. from the way it reads it had little to do with a flaming chair or jackass.

its another case of journalists looking for news and headlines. "finally, someone got hurt from goofing off, we'll put "jackass" in the headline!".
2002-11-22 04:16:06 PM  

Police believe that students in the back of the truck set a chair on fire using hairspray. They were apparently trying to throw the burning chair out of the truck when it took off unexpectedly and Ports slipped and fell hitting his head on the pavement.

2002-11-22 04:16:16 PM  
What a well-written article. I wish I could write like that.
2002-11-22 04:19:00 PM  
*puts paper bag over head* I live in Wooster, Ohio....

Tell you what those College of Wooster kids have a death wish. Go down Beall Ave, 35 mph zone, and they're just crossing without even farking looking! Very rarely do they use that crosswalk traffic light!
2002-11-22 04:19:59 PM  
Pr2: It's wuss-ter. Think of wussies.

Times like this I miss living in Detroit.... *sigh*
2002-11-22 04:20:25 PM  
In my 17 years of life, I have never done anything this goddamn ridiculously stupid. People my age who do this sort of shiat know (or should know) what they're doing. They're old enough to be responsible for themselves. If this moron is dumb enough to kill himself in such an asinine way, he's done us all a favor.
2002-11-22 04:21:12 PM  
farking media ... always looking for someone or something to blame ... this has NOTHING to do with the "Jackass" series or movie. kids have been doing stupid shiat long before Jackass came along ... I certainly did when I was a kid.
2002-11-22 04:23:38 PM  
I think the saddest thing here is that the article did not mention that any alcohol was involved. Throwing a flaming chair out of the back of a truck sober? Kid had to be a Grade A moron.

I hope all the college farkers take this to heart, this is what happens when you stay sober.
2002-11-22 04:24:44 PM  
God damn media giving Jackass a bad name...

Nothing like this EVER was shown on ANY Jackas TV Show EVER. NOTHING. NOTHING CLOSE TO THIS

Just become some assholes have no brains doesn't mean you need to blame the good Johnny Knoxville.
2002-11-22 04:26:43 PM  
I am scared of the more powerful dumbasses who survive incidents like this, only to pass their super-stupid-accident-resistant genes on to future generations of genetically engineered dumbasses. Be afraid.
2002-11-22 04:28:32 PM  
Niven and Pournelle summed it up neatly in Oath of Fealty:

Think of it as evolution in action.
2002-11-22 04:28:40 PM  
Here's a helpful guide for all you dumbasses out there:

If you get hurt or killed doing something stupid, blame "Jackass."

If you light your house, yourself, or someone else on fire, blame "Beavis and Butthead."

If you get knocked up and have a child out of wedlock, blame it on "Murphy Brown."

If you stab someone to death with a knife, blame the movie "Scream."

If you go out on a shooting spree, blame it on "Doom" and "Quake".

If you kill youself, blame it on Marilyn Manson.

If you steal a bunch of cars and get caught, blame it on "Grand Theft Auto 3."
Or here's a thought: Blame yourself for being a dumbass. Then blame your parents for being bad parents. And then stick your head between your legs and kiss your dumb ass goodbye because if you aren't dead already, don't worry - it won't be much longer until you do something else stupid.

God forbid we live in a society where we finally blame ourselves for our own actions.

The devil no longer makes us do it. Mass Media does.

Either that, or Mass Media IS the devil.
2002-11-22 04:31:08 PM  
Well, aren't you all just the most wonderful specimens of human intelligence. The kid was farking around with his friends, he slipped, hit his head and died.

At least he was outside having fun with his buddies instead of sitting in a dark room...alone...typing on his computer to people he didn't even know.

2002-11-22 04:36:27 PM  
Already mentioned, but:
" In a statement from MTV/Paramount, moviemakers expressed their condolences to the friends and family of Ports. "No matter how a tragedy occurs, it's especially horrible when a young person is involved. And that the police report filed makes it clear this incident has no connection to any stunts performed on the 'Jackass' TV show or film." "
That last line is cold-hearted, making the prior sentences worthless, but damned funny that they fit it in anyway.
2002-11-22 04:37:00 PM  

am i the only one that hates the gratuitous comma in the headline?

I wouldn't say that I hate it, but we're definitely not on speaking terms.
2002-11-22 04:37:34 PM  
Somewhere out there a mother is crying alone in her trailor, and a man with a mullet has no idea that the son he never knew he had has died.

I think it's important when people say "blah blah the producers of this movie or the author of that book should take some responsibility" is to not try and place 100% of the blame on the people pandering dangerous ideas, but I digress because if what little we know is true, at least in this case these kids were doing something that was stupid, and one of them died.

Tradegy? No, sad, a bit, funny, hell yes.
2002-11-22 04:38:23 PM  

No, you're, not.
2002-11-22 04:41:24 PM  
FunHater...you are thereofre a geek by your own definition, and by your post. Yes this kid was out enjoying himself with his friends, right up until his head smashed into the pavement spilling grey amtter to and fro. We are saying what we are thinking and feeling. Would you feel better if we all lied and said we were upset by the loss of such a fine, intelligent upstanding young man with so muckh promise ahead of him? Please, why should we be hypocritical in this instance? This is just like the farktard that got crushed by a tree that had just been cut in upstate NY a few weeks ago. I'm sure that these individuals have lower than average IQ's and were probably in some sort of remedial classes along the way in high school. If my friends ever suggested doing something like this I would be more than happy to pass and log on to Fark.
2002-11-22 04:41:58 PM  
I can't wait for the sequel -- the more natural selectivity, the better.
2002-11-22 04:49:26 PM  
Squidloe, I never said that I'm not a geek - I am. I was just amazed at how quick everyone was to lambast this kid who was really just being a kid. I've done a lot of stupid shiat with my friends that I easily could have died doing. I just think that everyone's being a little quick to be all high and mighty.

Plus, figured that posting that comment when 99.9% of the comments before it were of the other opinion would snag at least one sucka.

2002-11-22 04:52:52 PM  
local jackass, writes incorrect: headline
2002-11-22 04:54:13 PM  
FunHater, if you think "just being a kid" is any justification at all, read my post.
2002-11-22 04:55:45 PM  
More on the story, i submitted this earleir, FARK didn't take it..........
2002-11-22 04:57:02 PM  
Unluckyimmortal...I think you need my username.
2002-11-22 04:58:44 PM  
Why does it have to be the young kids dying? I need them to work in my factories.

Jackass should do a show where they engage in dangerous stunts with the elderly.
I want the elderly to die at a faster rate so I can get my inheritance and spend it well.
..and then all the nice houses in the neighborhood can go on sale...and all the nice roads will not be blocked by the blue hairs...etc.

"Dear MTV: Please start showing stunts which end with something happening to the elderly. We'll take it from there. Thanks! - The kids of the US of Dipshiat A."
2002-11-22 04:58:58 PM  
I probably do. Also, I'm a geek. But no one my age of even average intelligence has the excuse of not knowing what he was about. The responsibility for his death is on him and him alone.
2002-11-22 05:01:21 PM  
I'm not trying to justify anything. Kid took a risk, payed the ultimate price. I'm just not going to jump on this bandwagon and cheer about how much smarter I am than he was. I'm just luckier.
2002-11-22 05:06:43 PM  
So you've done similar things?
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