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(Telegraph)   British guy's girlfriend is a Herbie the Love Bug replica named Vanilla. And he wants you to know that he's had sex with 1,000 cars, but he's not weird or anything. Vanilla offered no comment   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line
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10496 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 May 2008 at 5:29 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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Because People in power are Stupid
2008-05-22 5:07:34 AM  
I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider,

Correct me if I'm wrong but Herbie the love bug might be female, however Knight Rider is totally a dude -which makes this guy a farkin homo.

/It's only normal if the car is a girl.

//You know I'm kidding.
 
monas
2008-05-22 5:34:53 AM  
Transmission Fluid!
 
Life_is_a_carnivore
2008-05-22 5:35:58 AM  
Hot tailpipe action.
 
DontBeStupid
2008-05-22 5:36:04 AM  
And here I thought it was a bird
 
A Farewell To A Perfect Score
2008-05-22 5:36:04 AM  
Crankshafts and gearboxes abound!
 
AgentPothead
2008-05-22 5:36:59 AM  
He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf.
agentpothead.comView Full Size
 
drjekel_mrhyde
2008-05-22 5:42:05 AM  
i30.tinypic.comView Full Size

/This needs captions
 
JonnyBGoode
2008-05-22 5:42:22 AM  
But what if his car is a tranny?
 
FarkinNortherner
2008-05-22 5:43:21 AM  
submitter: British guy

No farking way are we accepting responsibility for this one, sunshine:

"Mr Smith, from Washington state in the US"
 
abrakadabrakoff
2008-05-22 5:45:24 AM  
Did anyone else get to the bottom of the story and read that there are 500 other people out there like this, or was that just on my screen?
 
Jonny17
2008-05-22 5:48:51 AM  
FarkinNortherner: submitter: British guy

No farking way are we accepting responsibility for this one, sunshine:

"Mr Smith, from Washington state in the US"

Yup, he's not of us. British newspaper though.

I've got to ask though. Just how does one fark a car? I just can't get my head round it.
 
Haoie
2008-05-22 5:51:24 AM  
Well, if you can do it with a picnic table.
 
FarkinNortherner
2008-05-22 5:55:20 AM  
Jonny17: Just how does one fark a car?

***VERY NSFWork/eyes/brain*** Link(p) ***VERY NSFWork/eyes/brain***
 
MongtheMerciless
2008-05-22 5:55:43 AM  
"he confesses that many of the cars he has had sex with have belonged to strangers or car showrooms"

He has sex with cars in car showrooms????

Wow, they sure are liberal over there in Washington. "Yes, madam, this is the latest model Mercedes, with air-conditioning, power steering and....oh, look, there's some greasy pervert with his cock up the exhaust"
 
Mizgrimalkin
2008-05-22 5:56:05 AM  
This fetish I can live with. What folks do in a private way with inanimate objects ain't a concern of mine. I have admired the look of certain machines, but never to this point. I can see where it could go over into sexual feelings. Ain't normal, but it ain't wrong either.
 
FauxNews
2008-05-22 5:58:05 AM  
Jonny17:
I've got to ask though. Just how does one fark a car? I just can't get my head round in it.
 
SatchmoR
2008-05-22 6:02:22 AM  
Reminds me of the trainee IRA member who was told to "Blow up a Princess", and came back with his lips burnt...

/For the Septics - a "Princess" was a 1970's car.
// "Blow up" is an acronym for "have oral shennanigans with"
/// "Lips" = "lips" - oh, it's the same.
//// "Table?"
//Loses in translation
 
joltek
2008-05-22 6:02:49 AM  
FarkinNortherner: Jonny17: Just how does one fark a car?

***VERY NSFWork/eyes/brain*** Link(p) ***VERY NSFWork/eyes/brain***

FarkinNortherner: All I can say is WTF?!
Just how do you find a picture like that?
Do you just GIS "guy farking a car" ?
 
SatchmoR
2008-05-22 6:03:08 AM  
FarkinNortherner: Jonny17: Just how does one fark a car?

***VERY NSFWork/eyes/brain*** Link(p) ***VERY NSFWork/eyes/brain***

BTW - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!
 
Zmog
2008-05-22 6:03:58 AM  
And then there's this.
 
Vertoule
2008-05-22 6:04:05 AM  
Kids in The Hall - Car farkers

Makes sense now...
 
FarkinNortherner
2008-05-22 6:08:04 AM  
joltek: Just how do you find a picture like that?

It was just on my 5tb RAID array of homo-erotic/inanimate object porn.

What ?
 
LordOfThePings [OhFark]
2008-05-22 6:23:17 AM  
Also brought to you by Washington state.
 
Lambeau
2008-05-22 6:26:15 AM  
Yo Vanilla, kick it one time boyeeeeee!

/ice ice weirdo
 
Jonny17
2008-05-22 6:27:11 AM  
FarkinNortherner: Jonny17: Just how does one fark a car?

***VERY NSFWork/eyes/brain*** Link(p) ***VERY NSFWork/eyes/brain***

Ummmmm, alrighty then. Goggles did nothing etc. At least that explains it. Man, some folks is odd.
 
mungo
2008-05-22 6:39:00 AM  
Been said, worth saying again:

FTFA: Mr Smith, from Washington state in the US
 
CocoonMaN
2008-05-22 6:39:02 AM  
Unbelievable. :|
 
squirmster
2008-05-22 6:42:07 AM  
FarkinNortherner: Jonny17: Just how does one fark a car?

***VERY NSFWork/eyes/brain*** Link(p) ***VERY NSFWork/eyes/brain***

Thankyou thankoyou thankyou! been looking for that one for ages. Time to photoshop some colleagues!

/ Range Rover, Grrrr you little growler
 
festygrrl
2008-05-22 6:44:32 AM  
He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf.

HOW???? Like physically how could you have sex with a helicopter??? And also WHY!
 
baka-san [TotalFark]
2008-05-22 6:47:15 AM  
mungo: Been said, worth saying again:

FTFA: Mr Smith, from Washington state in the US

yeah but didn't a British guy get busted for farkin a bike? And another a cast iron gate.
 
creepycrawly
2008-05-22 6:50:18 AM  
Before Vanilla, he had a five-year relationship with Victoria, a 1969 VW Beetle he bought from a family of Jehovah's Witnesses.

Strangest sentence I've ever read in an article.
 
Chaosdawn
2008-05-22 6:57:02 AM  
FarkinNortherner: Jonny17: Just how does one fark a car?

***VERY NSFWork/eyes/brain*** Link(p) ***VERY NSFWork/eyes/brain***

i knew i shouldn't click it, but i did anyway. damn curiosity is gonna melt my brain one of these days.

/bleach
 
spudm0nk3y
2008-05-22 6:59:58 AM  
festygrrl: He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf.

HOW???? Like physically how could you have sex with a helicopter??? And also WHY!

Any hole's a goal?

So kids, when a man and a helicopter love each other very much...
 
Day_Old_Dutchie
2008-05-22 7:00:39 AM  
Thread needs more boobies.
img262.imageshack.usView Full Size
 
gravyhand
2008-05-22 7:03:17 AM  
Help me out farkers: four years ago Cruel.com posted a link to a Transformers fan art porn site. I can't find it anymore but it was one of the funniest things I've seen in my short petty life. Starscream with boobies!
 
Balchinian
2008-05-22 7:31:50 AM  
*checks for tailpipe reference, sighs with relief*
 
ThurmanMerman
2008-05-22 7:33:31 AM  
Well, whatever.
 
Pick
2008-05-22 7:34:26 AM  
Now you know why your windshield is so hard to get streak free.
 
diesel3
2008-05-22 7:38:15 AM  
LordOfThePings: Also brought to you by Washington state.

Dude, like gootse and 2girls1cup, that's something no one ever needs to see or be reminded of...ever.
 
ciocia
2008-05-22 7:41:19 AM  
He's got a soul brother in Ohio who likes patio furniture. So maybe this guy is a chubby chaser?
 
littlett's
2008-05-22 7:43:42 AM  
I'll admit, I'm a car girl. I go to car shows, I restore cars, they are a fun hobby for me. But this guy has some issues!!
 
Pvt Joker
2008-05-22 7:44:14 AM  
They got me for assault with intent, B and E, and having
carnal knowledge with a vehicle. That little Corvette was just begging for it.
 
Official State Animal
2008-05-22 7:50:49 AM  
hey, anything to make Furries look normal.
 
kingdymond68
2008-05-22 7:52:07 AM  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Zu0vAMkpag

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSy7Ew8GitA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZj3dQXTpCo&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5GLVl_jWSY&feature=related

It goes on forever.............
 
Werehamster
2008-05-22 7:58:21 AM  
What a chromo.
 
ethics-gradient
2008-05-22 7:59:00 AM  
Wow... Something went really wrong with that bloke in childhood. Any psychologically trained Farkers can tell us what?

If that pervert touches my Land Rover I'll kill him. She's mine!
 
blueskydei
2008-05-22 7:59:32 AM  
I wonder if there's anything that people with sexual proclivities such as this look at and go, "My god! That's just wrong!" Like...does this guy look at the above mentioned patio furniture lover and think to himself, Well, that's sick...he should find a good therapist...now where'd I park my car...?

/Herbie was totally a boy car
 
Shorty Longstrokin
2008-05-22 8:05:17 AM  
[image from blogs.tampabay.com too old to be available]

"You're not gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe?"
 
Shorty Longstrokin
2008-05-22 8:06:08 AM  
Balchinian: *checks for tailpipe reference, sighs with relief*

Sorry. I should've refreshed the thread first.
 
bluenovaman [OhFark]
2008-05-22 8:07:44 AM  
I love my car, but I'd never "love" my car.

/but motorcycles are fair game. Rowr!
//not really
 
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