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(Heinz)   Heinz is looking for witty things to print on the front of their ketchup bottles. Let's come up with something   ( heinz.com) divider line
    More: Survey  
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76 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Nov 2002 at 2:23 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

224 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2002-11-22 01:13:02 PM  
"Ketchup: the Canadian Spice"
2002-11-22 01:17:50 PM  
"Heinz- Declare Crimson Jihad on your Thirst."
2002-11-22 01:20:41 PM  
Heinz Ketchup - because unlike your ugly ass girlfriend it won't give you ghonnerhea... not even genital warts.
2002-11-22 01:27:13 PM  
Shyster: She better be.....

John Galt: I have read her books so many times..... live by 'em...... and I am on my way.....
2002-11-22 01:28:30 PM  
Heinz - We aim to squeeze.
2002-11-22 01:43:30 PM  
"Who's the vegetable now, Mr. Reagan?"

(for all you Farkers who don't remember the eighties, the Reagan administration tried to declare ketchup as a vegetable for school lunch programs. Now he's got Alzheimer's. 'Sfunny.)
2002-11-22 01:46:31 PM  
Tampons..the devils cotton fingers
2002-11-22 02:12:35 PM  
Heinz - "Real tomato ketchup, Eddie?"
2002-11-22 02:18:40 PM  
Heinz - because 42 plus 15 is 57.
2002-11-22 02:19:23 PM  
"Heinz is like...nnnn...?"
2002-11-22 02:20:29 PM  
Heinz Tomato Ketchup - As if you have ever even heard of another kind of kethcup!
2002-11-22 02:20:51 PM  
Heinz - Now with more sodium. Sweet Jesus.
2002-11-22 02:26:04 PM  
Heinz - We'll turn your sh!t red.
2002-11-22 02:31:59 PM  
Pardon Spiro Agnew.
2002-11-22 02:33:50 PM  
Good things come to those who beat the living sh*t out of the competition.
2002-11-22 02:40:50 PM  
Heinz - because you what "Hunts" rhymes with.

Heinz - We still think the swastika pasta was a good idea.

Heinz Ketchup - It's not Soylent Green.... well, it's not green anyway.

"Help I am trapped in a ketchup factory. Somebody call the police. Please."
2002-11-22 02:54:13 PM  
Do you want fries with this?

Dan Quayle recommends Heinz tomatoe Ketchup!
2002-11-22 02:59:57 PM  
May contain as few as one or as many as fifty seven AKC certified puppy fetuses


Heinz: Why misspell Worcester sauce when you can mispronounce Ketchup
2002-11-22 03:08:43 PM  
"Ketchup - ask for it at fine French restaurants everywhere"
2002-11-22 03:09:05 PM  
Heinz Ketchup: Consume the Enemy!
[image from highrise.dircon.co.uk too old to be available]
2002-11-22 03:15:35 PM  
"So i was enjoying my hot dog with mustard and it was all like doot doot doot, and it was gone! my mustard was gone! it was really good mustard too. So i switched to Heinz Tomato Ketchup and haven't gone back. My name is CashMoneyGifford and I am a condement enjoyer"
2002-11-22 03:18:14 PM  
"Go ahead, use ketchup... It won't fill the hole in your miserable lives!!!"
2002-11-22 03:18:40 PM  
Heinz: I was drunk and missed the mustard
2002-11-22 03:32:21 PM  
Heinz - spank our bottom.
2002-11-22 03:36:35 PM  
Heinz: Because life without ketchup is like an uncircumsized penis without smegma...
2002-11-22 03:37:41 PM  
Damn, Zylon...I woulda given you my vote if there was a button...
2002-11-22 03:39:56 PM  
Heinz ketchup...an exellent substitution for astroglide since 1965!
2002-11-22 03:44:52 PM  
Heinz Ketchup - Because putting mayonaise on fries is gross.
2002-11-22 03:44:52 PM  
Heinz Ketchup - Because putting mayonaise on fries is gross.
2002-11-22 03:55:50 PM  
I dunno what should be on the label, but the bottle should be shaped like Reagan's head.
2002-11-22 03:57:00 PM  
Heinz 57 -- Eat Me
Heinz 57 -- Suck my bottle dry
2002-11-22 03:59:19 PM  
Heinz Ketchup - Everyone's doing it..
2002-11-22 04:17:45 PM  
Squeeze me. Ex-squeeze me. Repeat.
2002-11-22 04:25:34 PM  
Best if thrown at NATO official before 11-22-02
2002-11-22 04:27:33 PM  
"You say ketchup, I say catsup!"
2002-11-22 04:42:45 PM  
"Squeeze some in the toilet, watch hilarity ensue"
2002-11-22 04:53:52 PM  
"It's made from tomatoes!"
2002-11-22 05:03:50 PM  
Heinz- Unlike Hellmanns, it doesn't look like cum
2002-11-22 05:05:56 PM  
Heinz - Spaghetti sauce for rednecks
2002-11-22 05:33:16 PM  
[image from samrc.com too old to be available]
2002-11-22 05:35:56 PM  
If consumed do not induce vomiting. Please contact your poison control center.
2002-11-22 05:52:27 PM  
"From the bottle to your shirt - Eventually".
2002-11-22 05:53:47 PM  
"This bottle is an AARP Approved Aerobic exercise device"
2002-11-22 06:14:19 PM  

2002-11-22 06:14:32 PM  
Instead of tomato juice in your next Bloody Mary, try Heinz Ketchup! It's Bloody Different!
2002-11-22 06:15:30 PM  
Heinz ketchup..., try it as a marinade!
2002-11-22 06:17:39 PM  
Heinz ketchup, makes your food taste like ketchup.
2002-11-22 06:18:41 PM  
Instead of tomato juice in your next Bloody Mary, try Heinz Ketchup! It's Bloody Different!

Now with more voting Goodness
2002-11-22 06:27:15 PM  
"Don'tchyou talk to me!"
2002-11-22 06:32:03 PM  
Heinz Ketchup - "Cause Hunts rhymes with coonts. And we all know what red stuff comes outta those!"
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