Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(WCBStv.com)   In the first of what is sure to become common in the coming years, a judge arraigned a man in a pickup truck in the courthouse parking lot because he was too fat to walk inside the courthouse   (wcbstv.com) divider line
    More: Sad  
•       •       •

8468 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 May 2008 at 7:01 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



52 Comments     (+0 »)


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2008-05-02 6:19:29 AM  
Damn, and here's me thinking fatties didn't commit crimes because that could at some point include running (or more probably wobbling) from the law.
 
2008-05-02 6:28:11 AM  
Give him 6 months in Fayetteville AR, county. The lbs just slide off.
 
2008-05-02 6:50:08 AM  
If the courtroom does not fit, then you must acquit!
 
2008-05-02 7:07:01 AM  
guilty
 
2008-05-02 7:07:26 AM  
More cushion for the pushin'
 
2008-05-02 7:07:55 AM  
Adman12: If the courtroom does not fit, then you must acquit!

Seriously, the thread is now officially over.

Well played sir.
 
2008-05-02 7:08:27 AM  
No pics of the fatty?
 
2008-05-02 7:09:16 AM  
The shopkeeper has been released without bail after pleading not guilty to trademark counterfeiting and criminal simulation.

He is DEFINETLY not a flight risk.
 
2008-05-02 7:12:07 AM  
Fat AND he sells knockoffs- a true New Yorker.
 
2008-05-02 7:12:22 AM  
Bad_ad85: The shopkeeper has been released without bail after pleading not guilty to trademark counterfeiting and criminal simulation.

He is DEFINETLY not a flight risk.


WTF is criminal simulation? Besides The Sims I mean (hate that game)?

"Hey, lookit me! I'm simulating doing a crime!"
 
2008-05-02 7:13:11 AM  
From a witness at the scene:

myconfinedspace.comView Full Size


Oblig.
 
2008-05-02 7:15:39 AM  
LowPlainsDrifter:
WTF is criminal simulation? Besides The Sims I mean (hate that game)?

"Hey, lookit me! I'm simulating doing a crime!"


It's forgery.
 
2008-05-02 7:16:27 AM  
Fat people jail opening in 5...4...3....
 
2008-05-02 7:17:24 AM  
LowPlainsDrifter: WTF is criminal simulation? Besides The Sims I mean (hate that game)?

"Hey, lookit me! I'm simulating doing a crime!"


Criminal simulation
1. A person is guilty of criminal simulation if:
A. With intent to defraud, he makes or alters any property so that it appears to have an age, rarity, quality, composition, source or authorship which it does not in fact possess; or with knowledge of its true character and with intent to defraud, he transfers or possesses property so simulated;

There's a B,C,D but they only get more boring...
 
2008-05-02 7:17:48 AM  
Another fat thread?

...so soon.

AWESOME!
 
2008-05-02 7:23:55 AM  
Oh Lawd, I wisht I wasn't so fayt!ninad: Criminal simulation

1. A person is guilty of criminal simulation if:
A. With intent to defraud, he makes or alters any property so that it appears to have an age, rarity, quality, composition, source or authorship which it does not in fact possess; or with knowledge of its true character and with intent to defraud, he transfers or possesses property so simulated;


So Joan Rivers is guilty of Criminal Simulation?

/what?
// too soon?
 
2008-05-02 7:25:34 AM  
thegroundbeneath.comView Full Size


What?
 
2008-05-02 7:27:09 AM  
I know for certain it was not this guy
 
2008-05-02 7:33:20 AM  
"I dare you to toss my enormous, chunky salad, biatch."
 
2008-05-02 7:33:40 AM  
When he's convicted he'll argue he's too fat to go to prison!
 
2008-05-02 7:35:05 AM  
Was he charged with rape onstage?
 
2008-05-02 7:38:55 AM  
oryx: When he's convicted he'll argue he's too fat to go to prison!

Sounds like it doesn't take prison to restrain this fellow, merely an ordinary sized door and perhaps four floors of stairs and no elevator.

"Now, we'll knock out the wall and bring the crane back after you've served your 36 months."
 
2008-05-02 7:38:57 AM  
I didnt even click the link but Im callinTennessee on this one... am I right?
 
2008-05-02 7:39:15 AM  
I was in the parking lot watching it. Truly sick. They should have just shot him. The problem is that the elevators are too old to lift him or the ones that are good enough to lift are too small inside for the deputy detail for a transported prisoner.
 
2008-05-02 7:40:19 AM  
But seriously, this lad could become a huge hit in prison showers. You don't need an orifice when you've got access to 500 lbs. of man. Just soap up any fold of flesh lard and have a go. The diameter of the man alone should be enough to serve four or five inmates at a time.
 
2008-05-02 7:43:49 AM  
Cornwell: The diameter of the man alone should be enough to serve four or five inmates at a time.

Cripes man, you could have a chat with all your buddies while doing it.

"So, you going to see the movie tonight?"
"No, seen it three times this week already"
"Hey, you been workin' out dude?"
"Yeah, been hittin' it pretty hard...hang on...phew, gotta run man, meatloaf tonight".

/sorry
 
2008-05-02 7:49:33 AM  
ninad: LowPlainsDrifter: WTF is criminal simulation? Besides The Sims I mean (hate that game)?

"Hey, lookit me! I'm simulating doing a crime!"

Criminal simulation
1. A person is guilty of criminal simulation if:
A. With intent to defraud, he makes or alters any property so that it appears to have an age, rarity, quality, composition, source or authorship which it does not in fact possess; or with knowledge of its true character and with intent to defraud, he transfers or possesses property so simulated;

There's a B,C,D but they only get more boring...


Ah, neat, I done learned me something today.
 
2008-05-02 7:59:47 AM  
How the fark much trouble can you get into when youre too fat to fit in a door?
 
2008-05-02 8:01:09 AM  
diesel3: From a witness at the scene:

that pic makes me LOL out loud!

 
2008-05-02 8:04:47 AM  
Cornwell: But seriously, this lad could become a huge hit in prison showers. You don't need an orifice when you've got access to 500 lbs. of man. Just soap up any fold of flesh lard and have a go. The diameter of the man alone should be enough to serve four or five inmates at a time.

I don't know whether to laugh, cry or hurl. Well played.
 
2008-05-02 8:07:29 AM  
The real question is: How does a person even let themselves get that fat? How do you do it? 500 pounds? I would think before you even reached 400 pounds that walking would become such a strenuous activity you would lose weight making the effort.

/partially sarcastic
//partially serious too
 
2008-05-02 8:16:04 AM  
HarryPottersStuntDouble: The real question is: How does a person even let themselves get that fat? How do you do it? 500 pounds? I would think before you even reached 400 pounds that walking would become such a strenuous activity you would lose weight making the effort.

/partially sarcastic
//partially serious too


Well I suppose it's not possible when you are 110-lb teenager with a woman's frame (re: Harry Potter).

I'd relate getting absurdly overweight to genetics and bad decisions. That and inactivity is a fricken spectator sport in this country.

/180lb, 6'0" so i'm not a good example
 
2008-05-02 8:17:04 AM  
How'd he get in the truck?
 
2008-05-02 8:24:41 AM  
baka-san: Give him 6 months in Fayetteville AR, county. The lbs just slide off.

Benton County. One county north of here.
And the pounds do slide off when you aren't eating 8 pizzas a day.
The guy weighed more than 400 pounds when he went in and came out biatching that he lost weight? Fark him.


/not enough food?
//more like the right kind of food
///these slashies have no trans fat
 
2008-05-02 8:51:04 AM  
i259.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
2008-05-02 8:52:53 AM  
I need 10cc of eyebleach, STAT!
 
2008-05-02 8:58:28 AM  
Razorwolf: How'd he get in the truck?

He probably just sat in there and ate until he took the shape of his container.
 
2008-05-02 9:07:31 AM  
littlett's: Razorwolf: How'd he get in the truck?

He probably just sat in there and ate until he took the shape of his container.


A fair question there. I assume that he doesn't live in the truck; that someone shoehorned his fat arse into the truck, through the tiny door. If he could get in there, he wasn't too fat to be wheeled into the courtroom.
 
2008-05-02 9:08:35 AM  
Adman12

*Boom* Outta da park, mate.
 
2008-05-02 9:13:18 AM  
IAmTheLaw: I was in the parking lot watching it. Truly sick. They should have just shot him. The problem is that the elevators are too old to lift him or the ones that are good enough to lift are too small inside for the deputy detail for a transported prisoner.

deputy detail? fark me, put him in the lift and have someone at the other end waiting. not like he can make any kind of escape when he CANT EVEN WALK.

Cornwell: But seriously, this lad could become a huge hit in prison showers. You don't need an orifice when you've got access to 500 lbs. of man. Just soap up any fold of flesh lard and have a go. The diameter of the man alone should be enough to serve four or five inmates at a time.

first i laughed. then i threw up in my mouth a little bit.
 
2008-05-02 9:22:22 AM  
Razorwolf: How'd he get in the truck?

Was he in the bed or the cab?
 
2008-05-02 9:24:02 AM  
lenfromak: littlett's: Razorwolf: How'd he get in the truck?

He probably just sat in there and ate until he took the shape of his container.

A fair question there. I assume that he doesn't live in the truck; that someone shoehorned his fat arse into the truck, through the tiny door. If he could get in there, he wasn't too fat to be wheeled into the courtroom.


I just assumed one of his family used a crane to load him into the bed of the truck and drove his bloated ass there.
 
2008-05-02 9:29:20 AM  
what_now

Curses! Beat me by two minutes
 
2008-05-02 10:53:03 AM  
Cornwell: But seriously, this lad could become a huge hit in prison showers. You don't need an orifice when you've got access to 500 lbs. of man. Just soap up any fold of flesh lard and have a go. The diameter of the man alone should be enough to serve four or five inmates at a time.

You've won the thread several times over.
 
2008-05-02 11:12:31 AM  
[image from virginmedia.com too old to be available]

I am innocent. And now, if you'll excuse me, I must hurry back to my comic book store, where I dispense the insults rather than absorb them.

/hotlinked from work
 
2008-05-02 11:14:48 AM  
In the first of what is sure to become common in the coming years, a judge arraigned a man in a pickup truck in the courthouse parking lot because he was too fat to walk inside the courthouse

huh?
 
2008-05-02 11:21:04 AM  
HarryPottersStuntDouble: The real question is: How does a person even let themselves get that fat? How do you do it? 500 pounds? I would think before you even reached 400 pounds that walking would become such a strenuous activity you would lose weight making the effort.

/partially sarcastic
//partially serious too


I saw a documentary about this kind of thing on TV once. A lot of times, they've got some kind of enabler, usually a family member or a spouse or something, that keeps feeding them the enormous quantities of food necessary to get to that weight, even after the fatty in question is too obese to feed him/herself. They see themselves as taking care of the fatty, while in reality they're just killing them slowly. In a lot of cases, it's not one but two people with a serious psychological problem.
 
2008-05-02 11:28:40 AM  
Robo Beat: HarryPottersStuntDouble: The real question is: How does a person even let themselves get that fat? How do you do it? 500 pounds? I would think before you even reached 400 pounds that walking would become such a strenuous activity you would lose weight making the effort.

/partially sarcastic
//partially serious too

I saw a documentary about this kind of thing on TV once. A lot of times, they've got some kind of enabler, usually a family member or a spouse or something, that keeps feeding them the enormous quantities of food necessary to get to that weight, even after the fatty in question is too obese to feed him/herself. They see themselves as taking care of the fatty, while in reality they're just killing them slowly. In a lot of cases, it's not one but two people with a serious psychological problem.



"How is this a problem?"
[image from content.answers.com too old to be available]
 
2008-05-02 12:56:01 PM  
If you don't play well enough to tell the difference between a real Gibson Les Paul and a fake, you don't deserve the instrument---AND you deserve to lose your money.
 
2008-05-02 2:06:51 PM  
So few pictures of enormous people...

so little joy for me.
 
Displayed 50 of 52 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.