Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Denver Channel)   85-year-old man steals 3,500 library books, including "All I Need To Know I Learned From Watching Star Trek,"   ( divider line
    More: Weird  
•       •       •

91 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Nov 2002 at 10:57 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

50 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-11-12 04:21:33 PM  
I wonder what other books this guy was reading...

[image from too old to be available]

"It's a cookbook!!!"
2002-11-12 09:11:27 PM  
i think that was my grandpa
2002-11-12 10:34:43 PM  
The Library Policeman will be calling on him.
2002-11-12 10:42:37 PM  
Librarians and others who know the man

Something tells me he was the life of the party.
2002-11-12 11:04:17 PM  
Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little stamp, the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before: Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library
books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that
kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or: maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how y'get your kicks. You and your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time is over. Y'got seven days, Seinfeld. That is one week!
2002-11-12 11:04:35 PM  
My hopes for bedtime boobies dashed. Feh.
2002-11-12 11:05:28 PM  
This remind anyone of that Seinfeld episode at all?
2002-11-12 11:06:52 PM  
Why the fark do people end headlines with commas?

Yes, I know it actually ends with a quotation mark, but that's besides the point.
2002-11-12 11:06:59 PM  
There was an old dude that used to live in my apartment building who died, they found thousands of books in his apartment, covering the floor of every room, including the kitchen and bathroom. You can't imagine how bizarre it is until you actually see it.
2002-11-12 11:07:34 PM  
Why do I get the feeling that the trek-nerd poster of this somehow thought it was ironic.
2002-11-12 11:07:36 PM  
Abby Hoffman would be proud

[image from too old to be available]
2002-11-12 11:07:41 PM  
He got caught because he checked them out and then stole them. He should do what I do: shove them down his pants.
2002-11-12 11:08:07 PM  
"All old people steal"

-Jerry Seinfeld

2002-11-12 11:10:57 PM  
I was going to write a book years ago called "All I ever needed to know, I learned from Beavis and Butthead"
2002-11-12 11:12:25 PM  
I don't remember any "library theft" episode on Star Trek. Is that how Spock got so smart? No wouldn't be logical to steal something that's already being offered to the public for free.
2002-11-12 11:16:15 PM  
Hahaha! This article is just like that episode of Star Trek where Kirk...


nothing. never mind. I got nothing.

(whistle, look down at ground, kick rock)
2002-11-12 11:16:23 PM  
He got caught because he would check-out a book return it 2 weeks later (after he removed the anti-theft tags). Then he would go back and walk out with the book again an now the book would not set off the sensor at the door. This was a good plan (so he thought) until a librarian noticed that all of the books that were stolen were checked out by the same person before they disapeared..... DOH!!!
2002-11-12 11:17:50 PM  
"I was going to write a book years ago called "All I ever needed to know, I learned from Beavis and Butthead"

I think I want to write a book called "All I ever needed to know, I learned from Jackass".

I'll sell it at schools. Profit.
2002-11-12 11:18:10 PM  
That's a good book, man. Funny stuff in it.
2002-11-12 11:20:00 PM  
i think it was an inside job
2002-11-12 11:20:31 PM  
I was just cleaning them Mr. officer really I was
2002-11-12 11:21:44 PM  
at least he wasn't stealing batteries
2002-11-12 11:23:50 PM  
2002-11-12 11:31:27 PM  
Binary - I read somewhere that is called a typo. If you'll look down at that thing in front of you, no not that, the keyboard thingy, you'll see that the comma is located right next to the period, Easy mistake, If you really think about it,
2002-11-12 11:35:33 PM  

Oh, so it's just lazy people who don't take the extra two seconds to actually READ what they farking type before they click the submit button?

I guess nobody ever went broke overestimating the laziness of submitters...
2002-11-12 11:37:03 PM  
Vetbridge That book gave me the creeps, reminded my of my hometown library when I was a kid.
2002-11-12 11:38:44 PM  
Speaking of stealing, I'm watching Ice Age right now. "Listen, stupid, it's not out on DVD right now, so ow can you possibly steal it?" Well, there is this thing called the Internet.

I mean, uh, nothing! I don't have illegal movies or music! Would you look at the time, gotta go!
2002-11-12 11:41:42 PM  
Hey, look here all you Grandpa. Library, and book haters. We don't need your crap here. I personaly like Grandpas, Libraries, and books, as well as alot of other Farkers.
Nobody made you click on that link and read it.
Jeeze get a life.
2002-11-12 11:42:29 PM  
I think I've suffered enough. Can't I have my boobies now?
2002-11-12 11:45:31 PM  
Yawn... The links are a little dull today.
2002-11-12 11:45:38 PM  
I'm home, the kleptomaniac.
2002-11-12 11:46:19 PM  
Young_Fart No, not yet, young one...

Like Yoda says, "Control, control! You must learn control!"
2002-11-12 11:51:07 PM  
That's awesome.

I hope I can be such a thug when I'm 85.
2002-11-12 11:56:06 PM  
Binary - I can sort of see what you are saying but is it really that big a deal? I can easily over look missphellangs and tipoes, It's not like these forums are anything important or something to be kept for future generations,

Oh, and it would actually be "beside the point" not "besides the point."
2002-11-12 11:56:16 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-11-13 12:03:54 AM  

That's the most disturbing thing I've seen in quite a while...
2002-11-13 12:04:53 AM  
2002-11-13 12:08:42 AM  
everyone seems to be missing the point though...$26,000 for 150 books and cds...thats a heck of alot of cash...

were these made of gold??
2002-11-13 12:17:20 AM  
Rosalea- it appears those 150 items were from just one library out of many that he stole from during his reign of terror.
2002-11-13 12:17:27 AM  
The really pathetic thing here is that surely he had the rationale going that he deserved to have these books, and was right to take them from everbody else.
2002-11-13 12:18:28 AM  
Lalalala -- lay off the crack. Or more likely the PCP. Or the former laced with the latter. Or the latter laced with the former. Or whatever -- just lay off it.

Young_fart: Find it ironic that "Steal This Book" has a 30% Off sticker? 30% off $0 is $0...

And this isn't about books, this is about kleptomania and a guy who just stole stuff when it suited him, which happened to be the library. Sort of like Clinton's impeachment: it wasn't about sex, it was about perjury and a guy who just lied when it suited him, which happened to be under oath. But that's another story...

-- 2DS
2002-11-13 12:24:33 AM  
No Shooter, you're right that it's all part and parcel of the same thing.
2002-11-13 12:26:45 AM  
This isn't fair. The last two boobies posts were about some chick on The Bachelor and A really expensive bra. I want my boobies!!!
2002-11-13 12:45:12 AM  
At least SOMEBODY wants to read.
2002-11-13 02:13:57 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-11-13 02:30:39 AM  
He could have saved himself a lot of pain if he used the internet. More free books than you can shake a library at.
2002-11-13 08:25:30 AM  
I've actually read that book :)
2002-11-13 10:20:34 AM  
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't theft of property exceeding $5000 considered a felony? For stealing $26,000 worth of goodies, is loss of library privileges for "up to 5 years" really "the ultimate punishment"?
2002-11-13 12:11:12 PM  
I smell conspiracy. What if he's Arsene Lupin gone senile? You know, grandfather of...

[image from too old to be available]
2002-11-13 06:08:03 PM  
Lupin? Stooping to stealing BOOKS? Not unless they had some sort of information about anchient treasures in them, surely...
Displayed 50 of 50 comments

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.