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(My San Antonio)   Bar owner tired of telling people Satan's chicken feet never stepped across the floor   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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161 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Oct 2002 at 11:22 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

55 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-10-31 10:59:23 AM  
"As for the devil showing up at all, well, he has two words: Puras mentiras. All lies."

Well freaking duh. But Santa and Jeebus drop by all the time right?
2002-10-31 11:11:35 AM  
That'd be like posting a sign next to the Red Sea saying 'no, the Sea didn't actually part for Moses'.

Some people are dumb.
2002-10-31 11:26:50 AM  
Actually, I was the unusually handsome stranger.
2002-10-31 11:27:37 AM  
Farked already? WTF is Satan's chicken feet?
2002-10-31 11:28:03 AM  
I'm a horny little devil.
2002-10-31 11:29:23 AM  
wow, and people say floridians are stupid...
2002-10-31 11:31:04 AM  
of course the devil was there. they were playing ACCORDIONS. :D
2002-10-31 11:31:39 AM  
they _must've_ been possessed - they were playing ACCORDIONS. :D
2002-10-31 11:31:54 AM  
The devil can't dance and the pope doesn't rock and roll.
2002-10-31 11:32:20 AM  
It wasn't satan, it was....the chupacabra!
2002-10-31 11:33:14 AM  
"Horrified, she yelled out, calling attention to the chicken feet sticking out from the stranger's trouser cuffs."

what's up with the chicken feet? this is definitely news to me.
2002-10-31 11:33:24 AM  
"The regulars swear the dance hall isn't the type of place to attract the devil"

They all say that!
2002-10-31 11:33:56 AM  
It was actually late Chicago mayor Daley (old SNL ref)...

then Selma Hayek started dancing on the tables
2002-10-31 11:35:50 AM  
Bass555: like how she danced in dogma? she doesn't even take off her gear, but damn that scene is hot.
2002-10-31 11:36:35 AM  
Texas!?? No, no, no. Everyone knows the devil went down to Georgia...
2002-10-31 11:37:56 AM  
"The regulars swear the dance hall isn't the type of place to attract the devil. The loyal patrons are all hard-working people with a fondness for conjunto music."

I like how they don't doubt the devil might come somewhere to dance with the locals on Halloween, or that he exists in a human form with chicken feet, but just that he wouldn't come to THAT dance hall.

Oh, how I love religion.
2002-10-31 11:37:57 AM  
Does this mean that somewhere there's a chicken walking around with devil's feet?
2002-10-31 11:38:20 AM  
Sounds like a wonderful halloween story to me.

It would be nice to have some legends to believe in as an adult.
2002-10-31 11:38:23 AM  
Stubblyhead: I was thinking Dusk till Dawn, but I have to concur wholeheartedly about that scene in Dogma
2002-10-31 11:39:27 AM  
Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
2002-10-31 11:39:31 AM  
I think it was Egon from that episode where he becomes a were-chicken.
2002-10-31 11:39:58 AM  
Riiiight. Like the "devil" can transform into a hunky human man in the flesh on our "mortal plane", but for some reason he just can't get the feet right.

Devil:"Damn! I almost got it right this time. Those chicken feet have foiled me again."

Next they'll be telling me that the "Chocolate sin cake" on the hotel restaurant menu won't really send me to hell.
2002-10-31 11:40:02 AM  
Jay_vee: that may explain deviled eggs....

i got nothin'.
2002-10-31 11:40:10 AM  
Dull night in hell I guess when you have to go party with a bunch of drunks listening to accordian music.
2002-10-31 11:43:20 AM  
Carolyn99: Well haven't you heard of deviled eggs?
2002-10-31 11:43:20 AM  
If it wasn't the Devil in the bar, who was it?
a) Chicken Boo
b) Alan Greenspan
c) Some sort of jive-talking automaton
d) Male Muslim Arab nationals between the ages of 17 and 40.
2002-10-31 11:45:41 AM  
43%: yeah, that was pretty paltry (poultry?)

I'll match your nothing, and raise you .... nothing.
2002-10-31 11:48:47 AM  
Why don't you guys shut the cluck up with the fowl jokes. No-one is down with them, and you sound like a bunch of cocks.
2002-10-31 11:52:23 AM  
I like how the guy at the end said he'd buy the devil a Budweiser. Some how I don't think he'd drink Bud, seems more like a Dos Equis (sp?) fan. What beer do you guys think he drinks??
2002-10-31 11:53:32 AM  
...sit down and have a chat.

Dude... you're going to hell...

Couldn't it just have been Samuel Clemens?
2002-10-31 11:54:01 AM  

Well, this does fit Chicken Boo's M.O. After all, he wears a disguise to look like human guys.
2002-10-31 11:55:56 AM  
This article is pure Genius! Genius!The potential for Farkers is enormous.

An obvious religion flame war.

A photoshop opportunity - chicken feet sticking out from the stranger's trouser cuffs

Toilet humor - The bathroom's usual scent was temporarily eclipsed by the smell of sulfur

My music is better than yours - The loyal patrons are all hard-working people with a fondness for conjunto music.

This beer is for you Mr. Poster.
2002-10-31 12:01:25 PM  

I think the devil developed an affinity for Pabst Blue Ribbon when he went down to Georgia. In fact, I'll bet that's why he lost the fiddle contest. Just a theory.
2002-10-31 12:03:24 PM  
Headline should have read:

"Bar owner tired of how incredibly stupid his patrons are."
2002-10-31 12:07:36 PM  
Why don't you guys just cluck off. I mean, don't you have enough egg on your face already? It's enough to drive me to commit fowl play! Of course, I'd probably end up being too chicken to do it- I'd just end up brooding about it.

*ducks* (or is that *chickens*?)
2002-10-31 12:10:31 PM  
Satan has goat legs with goat feet, not chicken feet...
2002-10-31 12:15:38 PM  
In other satan-related news, it has been revealed that the prince of darkness is terrified of only one living being. Police have released this mugshot.

[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-31 12:19:54 PM  
OBB: the 1994 Denver Broncos?
2002-10-31 12:31:15 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Chicken Boo, what's the matter with you?
You don't act like the other chickens do.
You wear a disguise to look like human guys,
But you're not a man, your a chicken, Boo!

I'm slightly disutrbed that I still remember the song...
2002-10-31 12:44:18 PM  
*tips hat to Jay_vee*

Chicken-farker, indeed.
2002-10-31 12:50:48 PM  
Personally, I always thought the Devil wore a blue dress, blue dress ....
2002-10-31 01:17:05 PM  
"If he shows up one day I will invite El Vato to a Budviser and let's sit down and chat."
That's a classic line.
Reminds me of an urban legend floating around here in Tucson. There used to be a place called the El Rio Ballroom which has since been demolished to make room for freewy work. This place had really bright paintings on the wall with blacklights illuminating each one. It was cool, tacky, and weird all at the same time. Any way, the story goes that a girl had asked her mom for permission to go out to a dance there. Mom said no. A little later the girl got dressed up nice, sneaked out, and headed over to El Rio. While she was there she spotted a very handsome fella. He made his way over to her and asked if she wanted to dance. Of course she said yes. So they're dancing for a little bit when suddenly he sprouts a red tail and horns, and the couple just disappeared in a puff of smoke.
I'm not sure which one is better, though... the devil bolting with a girl who ain't supposed to be there, or dancing with every woman in the place. I kind of like the second one better.
2002-10-31 01:39:53 PM  
Yes htat was me, mi querida. Those salsa lessons certainly paid off.
2002-10-31 01:52:40 PM  
This is why people think Mexicans are rats and idiots.
2002-10-31 02:22:08 PM  
Mexicans will believe anything!
2002-10-31 02:37:31 PM  
2002-10-31 03:34:38 PM  
I don't want to hear a sad story,
We both already know how it goes.
But if tonight, you'll be my tall, dark Diablo,
I'll be your El Vato Loco...

(sorry, Emmylou)
2002-10-31 03:42:02 PM  
Yeah wait a minute, the last time I ran into the prince of darkness he had cloven hooves like a goat, what's the deal does the Mexican Devil have Chicken Feet? What would the Canadian Devil have? Moose?

This also begs the question, does anyone really care?
2002-10-31 06:14:09 PM  
...but to say that the Evil One danced with every woman there is going a little too far.

Yeah, I saw that movie. And you know what?
Travolta can still dance pretty good for a fat guy.
2002-10-31 06:22:55 PM  
this is a big advertisement.

"There are a lot of people who come here with their wives, and I don't think their husbands would've let him dance with them,"

"That's what club regular El Vato Loco will tell you, too."

"El Vato Loco, known more commonly as Roberto Hernandez, comes to El Camaroncito from Austin every Friday night with his wife, Manuela. Both say the devil, called El Chamuco, didn't get into the dance hall."

"­m­rhe­rnan­de­z[nospam-﹫-backwards]swe­n-sse­rp­x­e*net" is the "member of the press" who wrote this

i liek this touch to getting the free advertising: "But in all the stories, he was strikingly handsome and an incredible dancer."
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