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(New Scientist)   "Magic" pool table uses laser beams to show you how bad you are   ( divider line
    More: Cool  
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91 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Oct 2002 at 5:37 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

40 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-10-30 05:39:23 PM  
ouch my hands
2002-10-30 05:40:56 PM  
And they removed the pins from all the balls. One false move and the whole pool table goes.
2002-10-30 05:42:45 PM  

The table is hooked up to a computer that displays a headshot of James - your computer-generated coach.

James, teach me please!
2002-10-30 05:43:29 PM  
what the fark.... I closed the bold tag
2002-10-30 05:43:30 PM  
cool idea
2002-10-30 05:44:36 PM  
Oh goodie, laser burns on my retina
2002-10-30 05:45:53 PM  
i was just going to submit this link

/sad, dabs eyes with tissue
2002-10-30 05:46:45 PM  
this wouldnt help me seeing as i only play pool when im drunk and i am already seeing like 30 balls on the table, two little red laser lines wouldnt be to good.
2002-10-30 05:49:31 PM  
In America, pool table plays for you.

2002-10-30 05:50:50 PM  
Well. That's certainly a self esteem buster. Seeing how I massivly suck at pool enough as it is.

Computer: "You suck"
Me: "Yeah, I know."
Computer: "No. I mean, you REALLY suck."
2002-10-30 05:54:06 PM  
I'd hit it!
2002-10-30 05:56:22 PM  
some people just cannot be helped because their stance is all wrong.

Dubya's, for instance.
2002-10-30 05:57:18 PM  
I find that the best way to win games fairly often, at least against a person, is to aim for the easier shots and sometimes screw up and mess up someone else's potentially good shot in the process... takes a good bit of luck and a slight bit of skill, but it helps...

That, and to sometimes get into a zen mindset at odd intervals, and in a goofy non-threatening mindset at other times...

Ah, playing mind games in pool...
2002-10-30 06:00:59 PM  
10-30-02 05:56:22 PM Chrash
some people just cannot be helped because their stance is all wrong.

Dubya's, for instance.

*puts on flame retardant clothes*
2002-10-30 06:02:07 PM  
I think I saw this table on an episode of Quantum Leap....
2002-10-30 06:02:51 PM  
Uh, oh. Sam, Ziggy's running out of power. You're gonna have to make this last shot yourself.
2002-10-30 06:04:39 PM  
When will this be small enough to fit into my pocket, and project onto a tiny screen in my sunglasses?

Pool hustling? Nahh, not me.
2002-10-30 06:08:43 PM  
/me adds to wish list
2002-10-30 06:16:56 PM  
Does the computer get confused if you screw on the table?

'We were gettin it on, Doc, and I thought my hemorrhoids were acting up, but then I started smelling smoke . .'
2002-10-30 06:17:07 PM  
"All I want is a friggen pool table with a friggen laser beam attached!!"
2002-10-30 06:18:29 PM  
sorry to threadjack, but go to and vote for CodeSunshine. If they win, farker Jolissa will post a link to a boobies pic of herself. The band is trailing by just a few votes, and there's less than an hour left 'til end of contest!
2002-10-30 06:25:20 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-30 06:30:55 PM  
Woohoo, well done finding the picture! Let shoot pool!
2002-10-30 06:33:59 PM  
Who would you rather have teach you pool? That infernal machine, or ...
[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-30 06:36:02 PM  
doesnt that kinda take away all the skill of the game.
how assinine.
thats like haveing a chess game, that tells you exactly where to move to win. Where's the fun in that.
2002-10-30 06:37:11 PM  
i'm so bad i don't think this would help me. last time i played i only got five balls in, two of them were the white.
2002-10-30 06:38:08 PM  
Excellent work not reading the article, Silkfever.

It takes you through training exercises. To teach people to play better. You're not supposed to play a full game with it - it's quite likely, in fact, that they never actually programmed it to project the 'best' shot in all situations, as that would take a degree of sophistication comparable to Deep Blue.
2002-10-30 06:43:36 PM  
Talking pool tables with lasers. Yup, the end is near.
In other news, the search for a cure for cancer put on hold.
2002-10-30 06:59:55 PM  
Strudel_Man: i only have time to skim the articles, im at work. bite me. =)
2002-10-30 07:24:37 PM  
Is it just me, or does this article read like a lesson from Dr. Ruth?
2002-10-30 07:45:25 PM  
I'll pass, in fact; I don't think that would taste very good.
2002-10-30 08:15:53 PM  
some people can never be helped by the system because their stance is all wrong.

Yeah, that WOULD be a problem for Christopher Reeve.
2002-10-30 08:17:17 PM  
Magic. Pfft... Pocket pool. Now that's magic.
2002-10-30 08:21:40 PM  
ironwindow:this wouldnt help me seeing as i only play pool when im drunk and I'm already seeing [double]...

"Okay everybody, eleventeen ball in the side pockets."

(as you can see, I play pool, and I'll kick your arse, too!)
2002-10-30 08:22:24 PM  
damned HTML!
2002-10-30 09:07:04 PM  
At least (unlike Japanese BeMani games, i.e. DDR) it gives you -only- sympathetic comments, and hopefully in English that makes sense.

"Did you eat breakfast today?"
"Are you alright?!"
2002-10-30 10:06:50 PM  
Pfft. I don't need no stinkin' computer with fancy lasers to tell me how bad I am at pool. A five year old could tell me how bad I am at pool. Assuming he was on a stool high enough that he could see the game. Without a stool, he'd have to base his opinion on cussing and table-scratches alone, which would decrease his accuracy, I think.
2002-10-30 10:11:38 PM  
Perhaps the same technology could help out with bedroom olympics. Best angle of attack, and all that. I'm sure a computer-generated critique afterward would be welcomed by both parties.
2002-10-30 11:21:05 PM  
I'll give the damn computer the 7 and still beat his ass...

That is all...

2002-10-31 12:51:15 AM  
Lasers for pool?! We should be using lasers to destroy the giant tarantulas that will kill us all!!
[image from too old to be available]
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