Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   Jessica Alba photoshoot recreates a bunch of classic horror movie moments, thankfully not including Monster's Ball sex scene   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line
56
    More: Spiffy  
•       •       •

8252 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 20 Feb 2008 at 1:23 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



56 Comments     (+0 »)


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
Hal B. Sure
2008-02-20 12:23:36 PM  
Yeah, I'd hate to see her naked.
 
mamoru [OhFark]
2008-02-20 12:27:31 PM  
Wow... She actually pulls those off (as still frames) very well. Whether she could actually act out the scenes well is a different story.

/wooo milf!
 
GWLush
2008-02-20 12:30:53 PM  
mamoru: Wow... She actually pulls those off (as still frames) very well. Whether she could actually act out the scenes well is a different story.

/wooo milf!

I thought the exact opposite. She can't even emote in still pictures.
 
JerseyTim [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2008-02-20 12:51:42 PM  
GWLush: She can't even emote in still pictures.

I was thinking the exact same thing. Especially in the first two images. It's almost comical.
 
hoots_toot_ochaye
2008-02-20 12:58:40 PM  
JerseyTim: GWLush: She can't even emote in still pictures.

I was thinking the exact same thing. Especially in the first two images. It's almost comical.

Thirded.

Looks like she's trying to maintain the "pretty" in those pictures, rather than just going for it like the actresses in the films did.
 
Gig103
2008-02-20 1:03:27 PM  
I'd hit it, she'd fake it, and I'd know she's faking it because she isn't much an actress. But I wouldn't care, so long as I got to hit it :)
 
brap [TotalFark]
2008-02-20 1:10:44 PM  
She displays a compelling mix of "The Method" and "The America's Top Model."
 
eliasvict
2008-02-20 1:30:24 PM  
They are awful.

With this and the Lohan shots from yesterday it's enough to ask if today's stars can do anything original other than letting their hoohoos hang out.
 
JDIAH GDizzleCKY
2008-02-20 1:34:53 PM  
Make me feel gooooood! Make me feeeel geeeeeeewwwwwwwwddddd

Mike O'Meara from Don and Mike used to do the Halle Berry - Monster's Ball voice, 'twas hilarious...
 
Ruppaner Bier
2008-02-20 1:37:53 PM  
eliasvict: They are awful.

With this and the Lohan shots from yesterday it's enough to ask if today's stars can do anything original other than letting their hoohoos hang out.

I couldn't give two shiats whether or not Alba or Lohan can act. They look good naked, that's all that matters.
 
ah_look_at_all_the_lonely_people
2008-02-20 1:38:02 PM  
it seems like a pathetic attempt to capitalize on the fame / notoriety of the originals ( yeah, i know i win the capt. obvious award )....

but what fails for these shots specifically was she should've tried to re-create the energy of those shots.....take the "psycho" shot where she's paired with janet leigh....janet is absolutely terrified ( she later admitted she stopped taking showers *baths only* and always left the bathroom door open after making psycho ). jessica is just standing there with a "c**k goes here" look on her face...absolutely no emotion whatsoever...

don't get me wrong....would hit it....oh yes indeed....but from a photographer's standpoint, this attempt was a fail of epic proportions....
 
tehotherbilly
2008-02-20 1:38:27 PM  
She can drain my monsters balls any day.
 
Joe Moneybags McBigCock
2008-02-20 1:41:46 PM  
eliasvict: They are awful.

With this and the Lohan shots from yesterday it's enough to ask if today's stars can do anything original other than letting their hoohoos hang out.

You say that like its a bad thing. (the hoohoos)

Originality died a painful death, stabbed on Hollywood Blvd.
 
e4tango
2008-02-20 1:43:17 PM  
mamoru:

Whether she could actually act out the scenes well is a different story.

Hahahaha. Dead eyes.


/nice bod, tho
 
HemlockStones
2008-02-20 1:45:29 PM  
What genius photo editor thought this was a good idea?
 
ScreamingInDigital
2008-02-20 1:45:38 PM  
JerseyTim: GWLush: She can't even emote in still pictures.

I was thinking the exact same thing. Especially in the first two images. It's almost comical.

In the Psycho pic it looks like she's doing the "scream" Buffalo Bill does when he's standing over the pit mimicking the girl. Nothing in the eyes at all.
 
TheNewJesus
2008-02-20 1:45:58 PM  
great idea
crappy execution
 
Farker Posey
2008-02-20 1:55:00 PM  
So, she picks a bunch of stills where the women look truly terrified...and then she just looks blank.

I'm sure this will boost her career right down to where it belongs.
 
Atomic Spunk
2008-02-20 1:58:15 PM  
Ruppaner Bier: eliasvict: They are awful.

With this and the Lohan shots from yesterday it's enough to ask if today's stars can do anything original other than letting their hoohoos hang out.

I couldn't give two shiats whether or not Alba or Lohan can act. They look good naked, that's all that matters.

You've never seen either one of them naked. For all we know, their vaginas may look like Kim Peek trying to spit out a ham sandwich.
 
HKWolf
2008-02-20 1:58:53 PM  
Wow. Once her cute looks wear off, she's got nothing. Hope she saves her money or invests well.

Go to college, Jess. You've got 7 years left in the biz...tops.
 
solyhhit
2008-02-20 1:58:56 PM  
biatch has sharp knees

/That is all
 
eliasvict
2008-02-20 2:07:58 PM  
TheNewJesus: great idea
crappy execution

No, not a good idea. It's been done many, many times. For it to be good, it would have to be original. The light bulb, the microprocessor, the six-pack ring, the keg-and-tap system, these were great ideas. This is a copy of a copy.
 
the lanatic
2008-02-20 2:10:36 PM  
Next to her, Drew Barrymore almost looks like she can act. Maybe they should pair up for a movie.

Just thinking about it makes me want to drive home and change the channel on my tv.
 
Tat'dGreaser
2008-02-20 2:15:51 PM  
Atomic Spunk: You've never seen either one of them naked. For all we know, their vaginas may look like Kim Peek trying to spit out a ham sandwich.

Are you new to this thing called teh intertubes?
 
E5K1M0
2008-02-20 2:18:01 PM  
Wow. Look at her act.
 
nightronin
2008-02-20 2:20:08 PM  
These shots are horrible. The lohan/monroe photos are just as bad. I love the original monroe pics. She could pull off a innocent vulnerable look, where ms lohan just looks like a vapid dolt (which probably isn't far off).
 
mooseyfate
2008-02-20 2:21:08 PM  
Yes, smitty, because when I think "horror", I think "banging the ever-loving shiat out of Halle Berry". Excellent work.

/it must be hard work trying to sound so pretentious that you can't even admit to wanting to bang someone attractive
 
super9v
2008-02-20 2:23:06 PM  
Who knows, maybe she was directed to look pretty rather than try to emote? By no means am I saying she's a good actress, but maybe she did do what was asked of her. I preferred this instead:
Link (new window)
 
super9v
2008-02-20 2:25:04 PM  
Dang it, here's the link:
Link
 
super9v
2008-02-20 2:25:46 PM  
Gahhhh!
http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/video/2008/hitchcockportfolio_video20 0803
 
Polar Bear Cub
2008-02-20 2:26:22 PM  
img218.imageshack.usView Full Size
 
nightronin
2008-02-20 2:27:45 PM  
super9v: Who knows, maybe she was directed to look pretty rather than try to emote? By no means am I saying she's a good actress, but maybe she did do what was asked of her. I preferred this instead:
Link (new window)

super9v: Dang it, here's the link:
Link

Thats a double fail you got going there
 
Polar Bear Cub
2008-02-20 2:38:49 PM  
Now a brief word from the Sponsors:

[image from img175.imageshack.us too old to be available]
 
Robert1966
2008-02-20 2:47:19 PM  
Take it easy on Jessica! She uses two out of her three facial expressions in those shots.
 
Polar Bear Cub
2008-02-20 2:47:34 PM  
img225.imageshack.usView Full Size
 
gunga galunga [TotalFark]
2008-02-20 3:01:58 PM  
High anxiety: Jessica's take on horror film The Exorcist Poltergeist.

There. Fixed that for them.

Now lets see a Jessica Alba photoshoot where they recreat a bunch of classic porno movie moments.
 
Farkn Yaj Yenrac [BareFark]
2008-02-20 3:02:47 PM  
Dick Cheney's Buttsecks face freaks me out.

Even more than usual.
 
Mr. Chainsaw
2008-02-20 3:11:48 PM  
That one of Rosemary's Baby is unbelievably terrible.
 
Hibno
2008-02-20 3:15:40 PM  
Ruppaner Bier:

I couldn't give two shiats whether or not Alba or Lohan can act. They look good naked, that's all that matters.


I won't argue with you about Alba, but I have to disagree with you on Lohan. Lohan doesn't even look good clothed. Unless you are into sun-damaged skin, lifeless eyes, and a ragged, starved body.

People, just because the TV tells you Lohan is hot does not make it true. She is a hideous medusa. Am I the only one that sees this?
 
SherKhan
2008-02-20 3:15:55 PM  
She can cling to the ceiling all she wants. I'll still get some on her.
 
phlegmography
2008-02-20 3:30:54 PM  
Where's the John Hurt chestburster scene from Alien?

I'd also like to see her do the exploding head scene from Scanners.
 
therecksays
2008-02-20 3:33:14 PM  
She did alright in Sin City. With the little problem she played a stripper who didn't take her clothes off.
 
mooseyfate
2008-02-20 3:45:54 PM  
GWLush: I thought the exact opposite. She can't even emote in still pictures.

To paraphrase Dave Attel: They say Jessica Alba is pretty dim, but them titties ain't dim!

/she is a "celebrity" because she's hot and desirable, not because she's an Oscar Award Winning actress
//I know, call me Capt. Obvious.
 
Tyrone Slothrop
2008-02-20 3:47:57 PM  
therecksays

She did alright in Sin City. With the little problem she played a stripper who didn't take her clothes off.

This seems to be a theme with Robert Rodriguez.
 
EJ
2008-02-20 4:04:42 PM  
Look at the eyes in all the pictures. They tell the whole story in the original shots. They tell us nothing in the Alba remakes except that she's a terrible actress.
 
Mr. Robo-Pants
2008-02-20 4:09:05 PM  
She should have done that one scene from "The Monster that Took my Load". Then we would have won.
 
Fark U
2008-02-20 4:21:34 PM  
Ruppaner Bier:

I couldn't give two shiats whether or not Alba or Lohan can act. They look good naked, that's all that matters.

I don't give two shiats about what you find "matters" and what doesn't, because you're clearly a brain of the turd kind.
 
kntgsp
2008-02-20 4:24:44 PM  
Hibno: Ruppaner Bier:

I couldn't give two shiats whether or not Alba or Lohan can act. They look good naked, that's all that matters.


I won't argue with you about Alba, but I have to disagree with you on Lohan. Lohan doesn't even look good clothed. Unless you are into sun-damaged skin, lifeless eyes, and a ragged, starved body.

People, just because the TV tells you Lohan is hot does not make it true. She is a hideous medusa. Am I the only one that sees this?

She has some amazing tits. I'd hit it like no tomorrow
 
kntgsp
2008-02-20 4:26:10 PM  
Fark U: I don't give two shiats about what you find "matters" and what doesn't, because you're clearly a brain of the turd kind.

Me fail english?

What makes you think anyone gives a shiat what you think?
 
ItsJustJake
2008-02-20 4:50:40 PM  
Hibno: Unless you are into sun-damaged skin, lifeless eyes, and a ragged, starved body.

That's hot.

/Fappity
 
Displayed 50 of 56 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all



Redisplay/refresh comments
This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

Want more stories with less ads? Try

TotalFark

It's what the cool kids are doing.
It also helps us pay the bills.

learn more | sign up
On Twitter

  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.