Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(GreenBay News)   Small town hopes to set record: cook an 8 ton burger   ( divider line
    More: Silly  
•       •       •

1203 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Aug 2001 at 1:31 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

42 Comments     (+0 »)
2001-08-04 01:37:34 AM  
Damn thats a lot of undigested meat....
2001-08-04 01:37:36 AM  
Think of the cows. Think of the COWS!!!
2001-08-04 01:50:28 AM  
8 tons eh? So what's the third customer going to eat?
2001-08-04 01:58:24 AM  
that is a lot of cows. Im kind of offended.
2001-08-04 02:10:02 AM  
I think they are just trying to piss off PETA and vegetarians. Good. They both piss me off. Would you yell at a snake for eating a mouse? We are animals and we eat meat.

This burger is a waste, though. They will also piss off the tiny shiatty third world countries that can't afford food.
2001-08-04 02:19:14 AM  
2001-08-04 02:19:28 AM  
This is such a waste, think what they could do if they sent that 8 tons of burger to someplace that actually needs it?
2001-08-04 02:21:18 AM  
Ha ha. Take that Ethiopia!!
2001-08-04 02:31:30 AM  
I heard Kraft is making a giant sized cheese slice for it. You thought taking off the wrapper on the normal slices was a biatch!
2001-08-04 02:34:39 AM  
I think Burger King already has one these: The Eight-Tonner.
2001-08-04 02:43:08 AM  
Can I get about 1/2 ton of mayo on that?
2001-08-04 02:48:12 AM  
Why the fark would you put mayo on a burger? Every red-blooded American knows the only condiment you put on a burger is ketchup. And maybe some of that special sauce, but I think there might be mayo in it.
2001-08-04 02:51:49 AM  
Surely you mean Eritrea, Annschmidt55! :)
Don't you HATE it when people get picky?!
2001-08-04 02:57:56 AM  
Hmm, a story about tons of rotting meat, and an 8-ton burger being made later? Something's very fishy here
2001-08-04 03:07:06 AM  
Lest we not forget that the Big 'E' died on the crapper with 27 pounds of undigested caca (MEAT!!!) in his Elvis-colon. Bon Appitite.
2001-08-04 03:08:15 AM  
Jeb: Every red-blooded American I know thinks you can put any-farking thing you like on your hamburger. Or are you one who thinks anybody who doesn't do it your way is wrong? If I decide I want some peanut butter on mine, I'll slap in right on there.
2001-08-04 03:09:04 AM  
Actually I meant, hey, what DID I mean? Oh well. Nobody listens to me anyway.
2001-08-04 03:27:10 AM  
I was making a reference to the movie "The Whole Nine Yards." Why the fark would I care what you put on your burger? I put mayo on mine sometimes. To each his own. Chill out.
2001-08-04 03:53:45 AM  
How about some purple ketchup?
2001-08-04 04:36:48 AM  
hmmmm. beefer-rific.
2001-08-04 05:30:57 AM  
I tend to agree with Jenius53... The Great American Art of Burger Scarfing, almost borders upon being a religion onto itself.

Since there are aproximately 78,493 & 1/2 religions out there, all of which think that theirs is the correct one, so it is with burger eating!

There is no wrong way to eat a burger. Wait, or is that no wrong way to eat a Reeses? Same principle! I seem to remember that "The right to have mayonaise on your burger" was laid down somewhere by the Founding Fathers.

Perhaps the Founding Farkers. So I say, bring on the Hellman's! None of that salad dressing crap. I have to admit, that's where I draw the line. I think you can be deported for that.

- Big
2001-08-04 07:04:35 AM  
I worship at the altar of the burger, give respect to the cow from which it came, pay homage to the cheese which sits atop, give a nod to the ketchup which adds flavor, shout out to the mustard which adds that tangy extra, wink to the pickle that sits cold in the center--and even I think a farking 8 ton burger is a stupid idea, a waste of time, and probably offensive to the hungry of the world.

But I like my burger.
2001-08-04 07:05:12 AM  
Oh yeah, no mayo!!!!!!
2001-08-04 07:08:20 AM  
they sy that theyre going to cot it up and feed heaps of people with it "Krabbe estimated that the world-record burger will be cut into 10,000 individual servings." i would die laughing if all of those 10000 people got food poisoning from the under-cooked meat. hahahahahaha

[image from too old to be available]
2001-08-04 07:31:29 AM  
Beef it is what's for dinner!
2001-08-04 10:01:34 AM  
'The slide is one way to experience life as a hamburger.'

Another way would be to point the slide toward the 24'x24' grill, and flame broil all those dumbasses.
2001-08-04 10:26:49 AM  
i wonder if one of these would go over very well in India.
2001-08-04 10:40:02 AM  
DAMMIT! I'm offended by this article...this will completely out due the house burgers my friend and I make. Same thickness though appx 5 inches. Basically they're like giant meatballs. We estimate each burger to be a bit over a lb. So, I speak with experiance, they shouldn't have any problems with raw parts of the burger as it's only 5.5 inches thick. Our burgers being about the same thickness take about an hour to cook on your regular gas grill. It's a little trickier on charcoal. 24' X 24' grill...that would be so nice to have. I wonder if weber makes it heh.
2001-08-04 11:46:02 AM  
Never mind. I thought it said they were going to cook an 8 ton buger.
2001-08-04 12:04:29 PM  
I think it would be impressive if you cooked an 8 ton pancake. At least that way you don't have a chance of PETA getting "all up in your ass."

BigMcLargeHuge: I'm curious as to what that 1/2 of a religion is, haha. "Look alive everyone...oh, sorry Susan."
2001-08-04 01:50:11 PM  
Yum! Of course, PETA's going to have a farking field day with this one! The song "Cheeseburger In Paradise" keeps sounding in the back of my head.
As for the way I want my burger
Onion Roll, split it.
Slather on the ketchup and spicy mustard.
Top it with a big greasy ass patty of hamburger (bout 1/3 lb.)
I want some cheddar, onion, lettuce, pickle, and tomato on top of that.
If I'm feeling particularly greedy, I'll slap some quacamole on it too.
Slap the other slice of onion roll on it and MUNCH!
Sigh...I haven't had one of those in years, but I just had to seize the opportunity to drool over it.
2001-08-04 03:25:18 PM  
DrDave: I believe you meant to say "booger".

Man, that's sad when they can't even spell booger right. checks his profile Aaahhh... AOL!
2001-08-04 05:12:43 PM  
Blow me, asshole. Did I spell that correctly you flame starting moron? And since you don't mention your ISP I can only assume it is
2001-08-04 05:28:29 PM  
i just laughed out loud
2001-08-04 06:28:39 PM  
A meal for one american family or one entire third world country? YOU DECIDE!
2001-08-04 06:50:48 PM  
How many fast food workers will it take to spit on it and give it that authentic taste?
2001-08-04 07:22:02 PM  
Laughing ...go DrDave!
MBK [TotalFark]
2001-08-04 09:33:47 PM  
holy shiat mog, i was thinking the same thing as i was readin the comments to see if anyone said it. i was gonna say "blah, make a 8 ton flapjack then we'll talk" cause everyone knows while burgers rule lunch, NOTHIN, and I MEAN NOTHIN, will lose to flapjacks. oh, btw, how will they flip the burger? cause if u don't flip it, its gonna be burned on on side, and raw on the other....i wanna see some kind of 2 ton spatula made...
2001-08-04 10:08:53 PM  
The local Burger King is donating six, 13-foot-long hairs to imbed into the meat and give an "authentic taste."

MBK: Somehow they have it set up so they don't need to flip it. Maybe they're going to cook it extra slow or wave flame throwers over the top.
2001-08-04 11:49:14 PM  
i just love when americans play with their food, while children around the world beg for bird seed

clogged colon mofo

go vegan..
MBK [TotalFark]
2001-08-05 12:47:50 AM  
speaking of flamethrowers...

anyone know where i can get one? it would end all of my shoveling duties at home...:hates being the youngest:
2001-08-07 01:42:49 AM  
I think you have to successfully flip it in one piece for it to be a true hamburger.
This is just some kind of meatloaf.
Displayed 42 of 42 comments

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.