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(CBS5.com)   Unique job posting on Craigslist: $5,000 offered to "eradicate a female living in Oroville, California."   (cbs5.com) divider line
    More: Scary  
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16785 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jan 2008 at 5:26 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



71 Comments     (+0 »)


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2008-01-27 3:10:13 AM  
Good pay for a simple moving job.
 
2008-01-27 5:31:08 AM  
is it specific, or any female in oroville, CA?
 
2008-01-27 5:32:31 AM  
George W. Bush
 
2008-01-27 5:33:07 AM  
+1 for vocabulary.

/erudite
 
2008-01-27 5:38:02 AM  
Well, is there a better website she should have posted the position on?
 
2008-01-27 5:38:38 AM  
Seeking: Gardener...
 
2008-01-27 5:40:21 AM  
Eradicate, with extreme prejudice.
celebritywonder.comView Full Size
 
2008-01-27 5:45:54 AM  
blogs.technet.comView Full Size


On the case!
 
2008-01-27 5:47:27 AM  
Too bad I'm in Minnesota. I could use the money.
 
2008-01-27 5:57:01 AM  
MoeSzyslak: Too bad I'm in Minnesota. I could use the money.

you might be able to work out a half now, half later deal.
 
2008-01-27 6:01:18 AM  
This is why I tell people that Craigslist is Mos Eisley Spaceport.
 
2008-01-27 6:02:35 AM  
Five greand? I wouldn't kill for less than 10K and a bj if she's hot. Granted she'd have to die too so she wouldn't report me to the cops. Then I could ransack her house and get more stuff!! Ahem, hypothetically that is.
 
2008-01-27 6:16:01 AM  
Rokoh: MoeSzyslak: Too bad I'm in Minnesota. I could use the money.

you might be able to work out a half now, half later deal.


Hell I'd do it for a quarter of the price. If by eradicate they mean nut on her chest.
 
2008-01-27 6:21:42 AM  
Goddamn, I love the internet. It's ability to separate the incredibly ignorant stupid (such as the RIAA, etc.) from the competent of the free information age is nothing short of hysterical at times.

See this guy: "This just goes to show what the Internet can be used for," Parenti said. "It's a great tool, but we also see that it can be used to advertise for child prostitutes. We've seen that and identity theft. And now, apparently, you can advertise for a hit man on Craigslist."

Apparently not, Parenti. Could it? Yes. On Craigslist? No. Otherwise you wouldn't have been all over this like your bacon on a Dunkin's omelette.

Read a book about the technology (you remember those, right?) before you stand up on your podium and paint a crisp portrait of yourself as a buck-toothed jackass to the Medicare-free segment of the interfarkwadsnets. When did old people become such hypocrites about cracking a book?
 
2008-01-27 6:23:48 AM  
my roommate's brother was one of the people offered $5,000. Glad to see this is all over with. Of course the FBI never told him it was over, he had to learn it from fark.
 
2008-01-27 6:28:45 AM  
evilfuzzymonster
This is why I tell people that Craigslist is Mos Eisley Spaceport.

That's absolutely hilarious
 
2008-01-27 6:29:25 AM  
cantsleep: Well, is there a better website she should have posted the position on?

Well, if she spent a few dollars on Monster.com, I'm sure the quality of applicant would have been much better.
 
2008-01-27 6:34:57 AM  
Perhaps the Dumbass tag is taking the weekend off. How stupid can you be to advertise for a hit on Craig's List? Here's a PSA: unless you personally know somebody in the mob, don't bother to hire a killer--you will almost certainly end up with an undercover cop. Just suck it up, put up with your boyfriend's wife (Now that right there required a special kind of stupid. Risk ending up in prison over a guy who cheats on the woman he's already married to. What a prize.), or pay alimony, or otherwise tolerate the living presence of the other person. Don't advertise in public to kill them.
 
2008-01-27 6:36:30 AM  
was it listed under the erotic section?

/gfe?
 
2008-01-27 6:37:09 AM  
highland-assassins.tripod.com

Does NOT approve.

Freelance = amateur.
 
2008-01-27 6:48:29 AM  
I hire my hitmen over MySpace Classifieds so I'm getting a kick out of the replies.
 
2008-01-27 6:57:13 AM  
Wow, have any of you actually ever been to Oroville? Talk about Podunk, USA. They have a population of what, 14k? So that means there's 7k females. What an idiot.
 
2008-01-27 7:20:08 AM  
FTA:
Working with local Butte County authorities, the FBI identified the intended victim and her husband, Parenti said.

The husband and the intended victim have not been identified,...


Good reporting and/or police work, there Lou
 
2008-01-27 7:24:59 AM  
She should have just posted a pedophile/stalker alert for the victims neighbors...
Problem would have been solved for free...
 
2008-01-27 7:30:50 AM  
I lived in Oroville most of my childhood. It's a fairly rural setting. The countryside is lovely though.
 
2008-01-27 7:34:26 AM  
homepage.usask.caView Full Size
 
2008-01-27 7:40:13 AM  
It's two AM, the fear is gone...
 
2008-01-27 7:47:46 AM  
ferrocene: They have a population of what, 14k? So that means there's 7k females. What an idiot.


I know. She'll be paying out of lot for that much killing. She needs to be more specific next time.
 
2008-01-27 7:47:55 AM  
dangredneck: FTA:
Working with local Butte County authorities, the FBI identified the intended victim and her husband, Parenti said.

The husband and the intended victim have not been identified,...


Good reporting and/or police work, there Lou


I think that means that the authorities have identified the people involved, but they are not releasing the information to the press that CBS5 has lifted the story from. And probably rightly so, as there's undoubtedly some idiot who would go, "Oh, THEM!" and pick up his firearm to try to go earn a quick buck.
 
2008-01-27 8:13:25 AM  
My brother knew Pee Wee Gaskins, friend of a friend, not closely.

Says he always made him nervous so he never hung around when he showed.

I hired a guy to do work at my house who is now on death row in SC for a cash murder.

/Just realized that the ratio of contract killers known by my family is rather high.

//And we did it without craigslist!

///Glad I moved away
 
2008-01-27 8:28:51 AM  
marymarch: I lived in Oroville most of my childhood. It's a fairly rural setting. The countryside is lovely though.

Butte county in the house!

/from Chico, myself.
 
2008-01-27 8:30:16 AM  
Mad-n-FL: It's two AM, the fear is gone...

When the bullet hits the bone...yo

/never thought about those Golden Earring song lyrics too much
 
2008-01-27 8:44:50 AM  
But they'll do it in Bangalore for $50
 
2008-01-27 9:55:31 AM  
Chico needs to die. I REALLY hate that town.

Oroville is just a pit stop on the way to good things.
 
2008-01-27 9:58:41 AM  
isobane wins!

heheh. Still chuckling.
 
2008-01-27 10:00:17 AM  
dangelder: +1 for vocabulary.

/erudite


Aren't you the modest little shiat?
 
2008-01-27 10:05:25 AM  
Should've just gone looking under "Pest Control".


Saturday morning was spent wondering how one contacted an assassin, for, to the best of Peter's knowledge, none were employed by Clamages (the department store that employed all three of the members of our eternal triangle, and, incidentally, furnished the ring), and he was wary of asking anyone outright for fear of attracting attention to himself.

Thus it was that Saturday afternoon found him hunting through the Yellow Pages.

ASSASSINS, he found, was not between ASPHALT CONTRACTORS and ASSESSORS (QUANTITY); KILLERS was not between KENNELS and KINDERGARTENS; MURDERERS was not between MOWERS and MUSEUMS. PEST CONTROL looked promising; however closer investigation of the pest control advertisements showed them to be almost solely concerned with 'rats, mice, fleas, cockroaches, rabbits, moles and rats' (to quote from one that Peter felt was rather hard on rats) and not really what he had in mind. Even so, being of a careful nature, he dutifully inspected the entries in that category, and at the bottom of the second page, in small print, he found a firm that looked promising.

Complete discreet disposal of irksome and unwanted mammals, etc.'went the entry, 'Ketch, Hare, Burke and Ketch. The Old Firm.' It went on to give no address, but only a telephone number.

Peter dialled the number, surprising himself by so doing. His heart pounded in his chest, and he tried to look nonchalant. The telephone rang once, twice, three times. Peter was just starting to hope that it would not be answered and he could forget the whole thing when there was a click and a brisk young female voice said, 'Ketch Hare Burke and Ketch. Can I help you?'

Carefully not giving his name, Peter said, 'Er, how big - I mean, what size mammals do you go up to? To, uh, dispose of?'

'Well, that would all depend on what size sir requires.'

He plucked up all his courage. 'A person?'

Her voice remained brisk and unruffled. Of course, sir. Do you have a pen and paper handy? Good. Be at the Dirty Donkey pub, off Little Courtney Street, E3, tonight at eight o'clock. Carry a rolled-up copy of the Financial Times - that's the pink one, sir - and our operative will approach you there.' Then she put down the phone.
 
2008-01-27 10:19:20 AM  
Did they track her IP, or was she actually dumb enough to use her regular email address, i.e. becky[nospam-﹫-backwards]h­tim­s*c­om?

God. Do it from a public library, using a fresh hotmail account. Meet in a cafe and tell the guy "I 'don't' want you to take the $2000 in this envelope and kill this woman, and I most certainly will 'not' give you an additional $3000 next week if you were to do so." Now you're even protected if it's an undercover badge. It might have even worked if you were at least as subtle as a bank robber.
 
2008-01-27 10:30:02 AM  
Wow.... that's gutsy and stupid.

Go directly to Fail. Do not pass go, do not collect $200...
 
2008-01-27 10:34:14 AM  
Graduated from UC Davis and spent time in Marysville so I know the area. How do you get a Chico State alum off your property? Pay for the pizza.
 
2008-01-27 10:44:37 AM  
[image from ui32.gamespot.com too old to be available]

He's pricey, but he's also a pro.
 
2008-01-27 11:03:29 AM  
Um - so this ISN'T a posting for Terminix?
ssl.honoluluadvertiser.comView Full Size
 
2008-01-27 11:07:44 AM  
condomface George W. Bush

A reference to Monica would've been so much more appropriate...
 
2008-01-27 11:55:53 AM  
scientology is getting desperate in this war.
 
2008-01-27 12:06:33 PM  
blazemongr

what is that from?
 
2008-01-27 12:17:54 PM  
spyderqueen: blazemongr

what is that from?


"We Can Get Them For You Wholesale." Short story by Neil Gaiman.
 
2008-01-27 12:25:02 PM  
img60.exs.cx
 
2008-01-27 12:36:44 PM  
Scifientologist and Bit'O'Gristle:

i32.tinypic.comView Full Size
x2
 
2008-01-27 12:49:57 PM  
It's now a new listing in Chico's Craigs personals listings....


img170.imageshack.usView Full Size
 
2008-01-27 1:00:33 PM  
marymarch: I lived in Oroville most of my childhood. It's a fairly rural setting. The countryside is lovely though.

What are you smoking! Oh wait you are from Oroville. For those that don't know, Oroville is a slice of American Ghetto, a pinch of countryside, a dash of indian casinos, and a pound of meth!
 
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