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(Breitbart.com)   Strategies You'll Never See on "Perry Mason," No. 387: "My client's genitals are so small he'd be too embarrassed to be a flasher"   (breitbart.com) divider line
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4223 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jan 2008 at 1:58 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



38 Comments     (+0 »)
 
strangeguitar
2008-01-24 11:24:49 PM  
Hel-lo, new court defense!
 
dahmers love zombie
2008-01-25 1:31:10 AM  
I'd say the guy's got a lot of balls to use that defense.

Apparently I'd be wrong.
 
gund
2008-01-25 2:01:17 AM  
I'm getting a kick out of this because I also have ...

/sobs in the corner
 
Bren_34
2008-01-25 2:01:28 AM  
I shaved my balls for this?
 
tehotherbilly
2008-01-25 2:05:34 AM  
where's the beef?

im glad a pic wasn't included...
 
picturescrazy
2008-01-25 2:06:11 AM  
Hey, it worked for me!
 
KOOLmike
2008-01-25 2:08:04 AM  
It might be short, but at least it's skinny too!
 
PumpkinCake
2008-01-25 2:08:11 AM  
Wait....


he's getting in trouble for flashing?

And to prove he didn't, he flashes the jury....?
 
genki831
2008-01-25 2:09:43 AM  
FTFA he was too embarrassed about the size of his manhood to expose himself to women - and showed the jury at Teesside Crown Court photos as proof.

Wouldn't he also be too embarressed to show the jury. Also I bet showing the jury the pictures was another act of flashing that he got some sick joy from.
 
clod9
2008-01-25 2:10:04 AM  
this is almost too easy

/doesn't know where to begin
 
I_AM_M
2008-01-25 2:13:43 AM  
Bottom line, never confess, say nothing without a lawyer.
 
vaconex
2008-01-25 2:14:33 AM  
[image from poptower.com too old to be available]

Didn't he see Pam?
 
genki831
2008-01-25 2:27:58 AM  
vaconex i saw pam in a movie called blades of glory...finally she wears something revealing...very revealing in fact. its justice for all us horny office fans.
 
Mmmm_Hogfat
2008-01-25 3:00:49 AM  
jossip.comView Full Size
 
FishGottaSwim
2008-01-25 3:25:13 AM  
Since when does size matter when flashing? Never stopped the neighbor man!
 
Birnone
2008-01-25 3:45:04 AM  
I bet his lawyer's next move is to ask for a reduced sentence.
 
Jormungandr
2008-01-25 3:53:20 AM  
Birnone: I bet his lawyer's next move is to ask for a reduced sentence.
Yes, I can see where you're going with this...
A shrinkage of the sentence would be appropriate. It's good that the lawyer had the balls to rise and declare that the evidence doesn't cover the... width and girth of the case.

I feel kind of dirty now.
 
JonnyBGoode
2008-01-25 3:56:12 AM  
What a little dick.
 
LiteWerk
2008-01-25 4:00:30 AM  
Isn't Bill Clinton known for showing various women his "Little Willie"? Can't they then use the Bill Clinton defense and say, Mr. Clinton never went to jail for doing the same thing my client did? I mean, this guy isn't even accused of raping a woman, unlike Mr. Clinton.

/then again, maybe, being a lawyer has it's privileges
//of being above the law, even when that isn't supposed to be allowed
 
ChthonicTonic
2008-01-25 4:12:26 AM  
I SWEAR this was mentioned here quite a while ago. I don't read any other not news sites. But I'm too lazy to check where I heard this defense. Keep in mind, that he was convicted in November,

BTW, you just know he totally got jollies out of showing of himself in court.

/off to buy a kettle on eBay now...
 
tripperday
2008-01-25 4:27:05 AM  
He showed the jury photos of his tiny junk and STILL got convicted? Dang, that's got to be disappointing.

Exhibitionism isn't my deal, but it's all about the shock, right? It's not about making women think their own man is actually well-junked. Wouldn't an exhibitionist with tiny junk wear some sort of, uh, appliance or something?
 
Diablo Trout
2008-01-25 5:19:54 AM  
Subby is obviously Dennis Miller.

Using an unfunny reference to a show that was made 30 years ago, with seemingly no idea about anything that's happened in entertainment since.

David E. Kelly has used variations of this flasher gag on just about every legal show he's made in the last 10 years.

/small, but fierce, just in case you were wondering
 
SamTana
2008-01-25 5:54:02 AM  
FTFA: he was too embarrassed about the size of his manhood to expose himself to women - and showed the jury at Teesside Crown Court photos as proof.

Zoom lens?
 
Jamieboy
2008-01-25 6:10:38 AM  
I just looked up manhood in a dictionary book. Says nothing about junk. Maybe I have an old one. Is manhood now a synonym for male genitalia?

FTFA: he was too embarrassed about the size of his manhood to expose himself to women - and showed the jury at Teesside Crown Court photos as proof.


This sounds better: ...he was too embarrassed about the size of his genitalia to expose himself to women - and showed the jury at Teesside Crown Court photos as proof.
 
oryx
2008-01-25 6:20:44 AM  
Michael Carney, a married 41-year-old father of two, claimed he was too embarrassed about the size of his manhood to expose himself to women - and showed the jury at Teesside Crown Court photos as proof.

I think I see where he went wrong with his defense.
 
SamTana
2008-01-25 6:39:05 AM  
Jamieboy: Is manhood now a synonym for male genitalia?

It is. As if we needed another one.
 
SOSA
2008-01-25 7:13:53 AM  
Sounds like something from an episode of Harvey Birdman.
 
jasuus1977
2008-01-25 7:27:53 AM  
This thread is useless without pics.

Wait. ew.
 
NothingCanPossiblyeGoWrong
2008-01-25 8:19:43 AM  
They make a cream for that now...
 
NothingCanPossiblyeGoWrong
2008-01-25 8:20:28 AM  
He was in the pool!

/seinfeld
 
Dave the Puller
2008-01-25 8:28:51 AM  
I didn't even realise there were 387 episodes of Perry Mason...

Couldn't he have just tied a sausage to a string and hung that off his junk?
 
Scrotar
2008-01-25 8:31:05 AM  
PumpkinCake: Wait....

he's getting in trouble for flashing?

And to prove he didn't, he flashes the jury....?

Ingenious, isn't it?
 
Born Slippy
2008-01-25 9:53:08 AM  
I think I saw this on Law & Order SVU
 
RUfarkinSerious
2008-01-25 10:14:29 AM  
lmao, This story goes great with the "tube" steak I had for breakfast!!
 
stefgreat
2008-01-25 10:27:35 AM  
bp0.blogger.comView Full Size



The office is awesome
 
dc-kid
2008-01-25 10:34:16 AM  
subby, -1 for the use of quotation marks. no such sentence is in the article, you weren't even paraphrasing.
 
General_Failure
2008-01-25 10:37:28 AM  
There once was a lawyer named Rex,
With a miniscule organ of sex,
When charged with exposure,
He said with composure,
De minimus non curat lex.

/Not mine.
 
birdboy2000
2008-01-25 1:34:59 PM  
Is there anyone else here who finds it a little sad that displaying the human body in this country is punished by jail time?

/OTOH, eww.
 
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