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(Ask Men)   For men: How to get rid of bad friends   ( askmen.com) divider line
    More: PSA  
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84 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Oct 2002 at 1:46 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

50 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-10-22 10:35:22 AM  
I find that a chainsaw, quick lime, and a shovel work well to get rid of bad friends.
2002-10-22 11:21:26 AM  
Start acting like you've caught "the gay" and that you need your friends "hot man love". That'll pretty much get rid of your bad friend.
2002-10-22 11:58:47 AM  
If you suspect that "the sniper" is someone you know, a subtle hint would take care of things for you. If, that is.
2002-10-22 12:11:05 PM  
Oh...my...gawd! It's like, "Seventeen Magazine" for men!

That article drove me back to work.
2002-10-22 01:01:26 PM  
Now try and tell me that these two are not more than friends.

[image from askmen.com too old to be available]
2002-10-22 02:46:41 PM  
Obvious: Fark his gf/wife/sister.
2002-10-22 02:48:24 PM  
I got rid of my bad man-friends when they stopped giving me reach-arounds after a long evening of discussion about our feelings for each other. Then I wrote into this magazine for assistance on how to handle it in the future.
2002-10-22 02:50:05 PM  
"Dude, you're acting a little too gay."
2002-10-22 02:50:20 PM  
I dont have any friends! Surprise?
2002-10-22 02:50:41 PM  
This is kinda gay, and I dont think I know any guys that care that much about how their friends act.
2002-10-22 02:52:05 PM  
Offer to do his wedding toast. Let the ensuing hilarity do the rest.
2002-10-22 02:52:19 PM  
That is quite possibly the dumbest thing I have read here. And that's saying a lot.
2002-10-22 02:52:31 PM  
For any guy that reads this magazine: cancel your subscription and just read your girlfriend's copy of Glamour. Youll save money and get the same advice, you pansy
2002-10-22 02:53:14 PM  
The pussification of men continues....SIGH. How farking sad.
2002-10-22 02:57:22 PM  
Leave ball gags and 15 inch dildoes lying around your house. Compliment your friends on their tight asses. Listen the Streisand all the frickin' time.
2002-10-22 03:00:24 PM  
Correct me if I'm too far off base here...

male bonding: hang out, drink beer.
male apology: hang out, drink beer.
male sensitivity: hang out, drink beer.

'male breakup': hang out, drink beer, don't share your beer.
2002-10-22 03:07:36 PM  

Repackaging columns from Marie Claire or whatever the hell feminine mag this is to men since 1993
2002-10-22 03:09:13 PM  
Well I see that the systematic castration of the American male continues inabated.

Also, the two guys in the picture above are definitely getting ready to fark.

I wonder if N.O.W. is behind this website?
2002-10-22 03:11:43 PM  
you need to start thinking with your head and not your heart.

-sob- That was beautiful, man. Group hug!
2002-10-22 03:12:27 PM  
Best way to get rid of friends is to get geeked up into the computer. If they like computers, go out on dates. If they still persist, work overtime. Forget to pay the cell phone bill. Change the email address because of spam. Start drinking. A lot. Ride a bike. Take the whole day off and go riding. That pretty much describes my life.
2002-10-22 03:16:35 PM  
Geez, when I want to get rid of unwanted friends, I just ask them to help me move furniture the next time they're available. Presto, they just never come over again.

Of course, I didn't bother to read the article. Maybe they mentioned that method.
2002-10-22 03:17:40 PM  
Really, what a farkin' load of shiat. Knock the shiat outta him/her and haul ass. or am I being too insensitive? Maybe get him a Hallmark?
2002-10-22 03:23:25 PM  

you summed it up pretty good
2002-10-22 03:25:50 PM  
holy crap, this is the gayest site i have ever seen. quick, post a boobies link!

my computer has caught a big case of homo-itis. i'm going to have to boil my mouse to disinfect it.
2002-10-22 03:26:41 PM  
"You had me at the *chokes up* first blow"
2002-10-22 03:28:01 PM  
Uh--what ever happened to saying:

"Get your hands out of my 'fridge you freeloading piece of shiat and get the hell out of my house!"

Barring that and trying to be more sensitive to room-mates and buddies who might be less cheesed off with the jerk, just don't call the bastard when you go out. Or have folks over for the poker game. Or go to the movies. Ignore the chump. AskMen just slid down the scale from being lame to heading on the train to Oprahville...
2002-10-22 03:29:14 PM  
I had a beer buddy once, whose soon-to-be-ex-girlfiend came to me sobbing. "He's such an asshole! How can you hang around with him." I said, "Hey, we just drink beer together. I don't have to actually like him. He's never screwed me over anything and he buys his fair share of beer." Of course she didn't understand. A few weeks later, he almost got me killed and cost me a night with a gorgeous blonde at a bar in Florida. End of beer buddy relationship. He knew it. I knew it. I haven't seen him in years and haven't even thought about him until just now. Stupid article.
2002-10-22 03:35:03 PM  
The gay thing is the way to go. Though, of course, I could see it backfire.

2002-10-22 03:39:40 PM  
I just breezed the article, who reads this shiat?

Tell the loser to shove off......if that hurts your feelings just bottle it up inside deep w/ the rest of your anger.
2002-10-22 03:56:36 PM  
I dunno, this seems a tad gay. If some of my friends are pissing me off I just tell them to get the fark away.
2002-10-22 03:59:55 PM  
[image from usarotc.com too old to be available]

Snipe him

2002-10-22 04:04:04 PM  
"Bob, my friend, I have something to tell you . I'm gay and I jerk off the most when I think of you giving me a blow job. And then you swallow."
2002-10-22 04:08:53 PM  
If you are a FARK Mod or Admin, you just ban him, nuff said.
2002-10-22 04:08:55 PM  
I was worried for perhaps 2 seconds. "Does the rest of the normal male population worry about such issues? Have I once again been left out of the loop by a heartless society? Am I really a social degenerate with no hope of ever developing meaningful bonds with other members of my sex??"

Then I thought to myself "wow, that's fawking gay as hell..." followed roughly .005 seconds later by "Oh yeah...i have an incredibly hot girlfriend and plenty of beer in the fridge, who gives a shiat."

2002-10-22 04:23:35 PM  
Kill yourself.
2002-10-22 04:24:27 PM  
I don't have any guy friends, but if I did, I wouldn't call them my "bros".
2002-10-22 04:34:53 PM  
What you do is fight eachother, then whoever wins buys the beer. End of anger end of discussion and everything can go back to normal...guys are easy that way.
2002-10-22 04:38:08 PM  
[image from rebelstuff.com too old to be available]
2002-10-22 04:55:41 PM  
Start acting like you've caught "the gay" and that you need your friends "hot man love". That'll pretty much get rid of your bad friend.

I wouldn't count on that one. You have heard of the six beer theory of straight boys, no?
2002-10-22 05:02:51 PM  
Yeah, I kind of realized it was a waste of time once I read the section "the xy factor."

2002-10-22 05:14:47 PM  
I think the article would be more accurate if you add the words "until you get married" to the end of each sentence.

These magazines and websites that are for "men" have got to be either written by gay men or women. There's no way I'd be caught dead buying a mag that has some guy with his shirt off.

Electronics, news, boobies, that's all I want a magazine for.
2002-10-22 05:26:05 PM  
Just quit your job, never have money. Don't bathe, bum rides everywhere because you have no license, and bum smokes and beer. This is a good way to get rid of friends.
2002-10-22 06:11:40 PM  
"But bear in mind that there are consequences that come with cutting him off: if you're the only one who's had a problem with this person, the other members of your otherwise cohesive click may wind up shutting you out."

is that a faux pas due to sheer ignorance, or a pun making fun of on-line communities? maybe refering to our fellow farkers as a "click" rather than clique could become a trend...?

bah - it was ignorance, right along with the rest of the article
2002-10-22 06:43:10 PM  
Strange...I don't have problems like these at all. Better question: How do we get rid of Askmen?

RandyJohnson almost fell out of my chair! Thanks for pointing out the pickle smoochers..LOL!!!
2002-10-22 07:28:08 PM  
[image from askmen.com too old to be available]

Hey Tommy, my finger smells like your ass? Coincidence?
2002-10-22 09:21:59 PM  
If you really want to end it fast, just kick him in the balls. I know, low blow, definitely a violation of practically rule number one of the guy code, but see how long the "friendship" lasts afterwards. *Note: use only as a very last resort.
2002-10-22 11:34:48 PM  
Just_Dan has it. Unfortunately when you sum up male interpersonal relationships that succinctly, it doesn't make for a long, crappy article.
2002-10-23 12:15:28 AM  
Ain't got no friends and ain't bothered in the least about it. Nobody except the owner a couple times in my rental house the last 6 years.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr........... ugly semi-old semi-fat rough tough ex-sailors and long-haul truckers don't need no damn friends!!!!!!

2002-10-23 04:27:38 AM  
If I found my bf/so reading this, I would puke... I go out with a guy because he's a *guy*, not a pansy that's trying every move to sound 'sensitive'...
2002-10-23 05:39:59 PM  
Red_dragon60: That was hilarious.
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