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(Pravda)   Greenpeace ship vs. Russian nuclear submarine   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

2357 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Oct 2002 at 12:36 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

34 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-10-21 08:59:33 AM  
That was a close shave for the Greenpeace folks.
2002-10-21 09:16:22 AM  
Why am I not surprised that a bunch of hippies didn't recognise the sound of a shaver?
2002-10-21 09:32:03 AM  
... or maybe they did and that's why they legged it.
2002-10-21 12:46:49 PM  

...wish I'd thought of that.
...wish I also had a nuclear submarine.
2002-10-21 12:48:26 PM  
Well at least it wasn't the French CIA trying to bomb it again.
2002-10-21 12:50:40 PM  
I'm waiting for some Hunt for Red October referneces.
2002-10-21 12:51:08 PM  
"and all this time i've been smoking hrmless tobacco"
2002-10-21 12:52:41 PM  
Well at least a bunch of hippies didn't think it was a new secret Soviet weapon, huh?
2002-10-21 12:58:35 PM  
"whoooaaa maaaan....sounds like yer werkin' for yer car...ya gotta simplify maaaaan"
2002-10-21 01:04:01 PM  
What was wrong with their regular torpedoes?
2002-10-21 01:23:59 PM  
Getting shaved is enough to start a war over for some folks.
2002-10-21 01:35:36 PM  
"You heard the electric razor hit the hull...and I was never here."

Slightly obscure HftRO ref
2002-10-21 01:46:13 PM  
Got it Outlaw, though I can't picture JEJ in dreadlocks and a shaggy beard.

Thank you Jay_vee, I needed that ;)
2002-10-21 01:50:48 PM  
Best damn article of the morning.

2002-10-21 01:53:24 PM  
Ryan, most things in here don't react well with electric razors.
2002-10-21 02:05:28 PM  
Yeah, Me... I don't react well to Electric Razors.
2002-10-21 02:10:53 PM  
I think I'd be pretty f-ing scared if I were being tailed by a nuclear sub and my sonar man heard a buzzing noise.
2002-10-21 02:15:38 PM  

Now that is funny.
2002-10-21 02:31:38 PM  
This story has to be pure bunk.

A) what greenpeace ship has sonar or qualified sonar watchstanders that would recognize a "Torpedo attack maneuver"?

B) Please see above.

Seriously folks...move along, there's nothing to see here.
2002-10-21 02:42:38 PM  
Pravda is poorly written cosmiverse... and Flyinglemur is 100 % correct...

2002-10-21 02:43:02 PM  
Every time I think of the new Pravda, I'll think of neo-Nazi Bill White, who wrote articles for a short time. Inexplicably, he makes claims to being an anarchist and runs something called "Libertarian Socialist News", but he also has this thing with bashing Jews and hanging around with ubernationalists... and hitting on the female Nazis.

Creepy fellow.

(If any Farkers are familiar with the DC anarchist community, drop his name and see what reactions you get:)
2002-10-21 02:44:31 PM  
Ya, PRAVDA. Think about it. The former Soviet Propaganda Newspaper. Means "Truth."

/yet, on a more somber note. I'm pretty cynical about Greenpeace and all those high-profile eco-groups. The real enemy is arrogant human dick.
2002-10-21 03:14:12 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Greenpeace rates the Russians:
"They're Pussies!"
2002-10-21 04:31:19 PM  
<b>Flyinglemur</b>: it's entirely possible the greenpeace ship had a sonar array. Most fishing vessels do, and they'll detect subs within a few miles of them (they're usually active arrays, and subs usually stay out of range of them, but you don't have to). As for a 'torpedo attack maneuver' : assuming the greenpeace folks knew they were being shadowed by a sub, and assuming they were keeping normal surface watch, a torpedo attack maneuver would have been the sub going to periscope depth and positioning itself a few miles ahead of the greenpeace ship's track. It's fairly easy to make it pretty obvious that you're setting up an unguided torpedo run, and subs practice this on surface ships all the time (or at least, they used to, back in the '80s). You don't need qualified sonar watchmen to spot that - just an understanding that there's a sub out there, a good set of binoculars, and a healthy imagination. ;-)

As for hearing the torpedo coming in - torpedoes are *loud*. You don't need to be a sonarman first class Jones to hear one coming in, esp. if you're faking the sound with your own array. ;-) Again, the healthy imagination would have helped - but if you know there's a soviet sub shadowing you, you see it go to periscope depth along your track, then you hear a high-pitched whining sound in the water... well, prudence dictates flank speed and sharp turns, even if they're only yanking your chain.

I hope it is true - a beautiful prank to some most deserving wusses.
2002-10-21 04:41:58 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
"Shave theshe whalesh, you jammy bashtards!"
2002-10-21 04:47:47 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-21 04:53:19 PM  
"One buzz. One buzz only, Vashilli!"
2002-10-21 05:16:35 PM  
Who remembers the Simpsons episode where Homer joins the Navy?

"Now remember, we're only allowed to fire on Greenpeace."
2002-10-21 05:34:08 PM  
Soviet-era Russian joke, apparently real:

"There is no Pravda in Izvestia and there is no Izvestia in Pravda."

Pravda = truth
Izvestia = news

The Soviets knew their media were pure propaganda organs.
2002-10-21 06:10:32 PM  
We shave into history!
2002-10-21 10:49:27 PM  
I'm with Bbcrackmonkey, what was wrong with their regular torpedoes?
2002-10-22 12:40:59 AM  
Russians have the best sea stories.
2002-10-22 03:27:00 AM  
"Take that you stupid-tree-hugging hippie"
2002-10-22 11:14:09 AM  

I dont know what you do for a living, but I've been a sonar tech on submarines for the last 11 years of my life. Obviously I can't get into details here due to security stuff, but all the guys in my office (I'm on shore duty) got a HUGE laugh out of your asshat response. have no clue what the Fack you are talking about
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