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(toledoblade.com)   Do-nothing Koalas eat through zoo's budget and sent packing   ( toledoblade.com) divider line
    More: Amusing  
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541 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Oct 2002 at 12:32 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

57 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-10-18 10:28:44 AM  
Ok, we need a username and password, please.
2002-10-18 10:39:25 AM  
it's the same thing that's affecting yahoo! links. keeps adding a %26 to the URL. wtf?

so click on the hungry koala.

[image from larc1.com too old to be available]
2002-10-18 12:01:26 PM  
It all evens out in the end. In Toronto, we take the San Diego Zoo's koalas, then kill them.
2002-10-18 12:36:41 PM  
the toledo blade needs to be Ananova'ed.
2002-10-18 12:38:48 PM  
I love koalas. Fried with 'taters.
2002-10-18 12:38:55 PM  
Do-nothing link will soon be removed
2002-10-18 12:39:18 PM  
damn $44,000 per year in food costs. no wonder they are shipping them back. that's damned expensive for 2 little furry creatures, they are cute though, with those big ears.
2002-10-18 12:40:31 PM  
Koalas taste just like chicken
2002-10-18 12:43:30 PM  
Savian has good comments
2002-10-18 12:44:30 PM  
good one Savian
2002-10-18 12:45:25 PM  
$44,000? I wonder where koalas get that kind of money out in the wild.
Hah, it's a DLL error I'm getting. Ah, Microsoft.
2002-10-18 12:45:32 PM  
Obviously, The Toledo Blade has asked the zoo officials if the can ship the loalas together with all deep links to the Toledo Blade. Seems like a done deal.
2002-10-18 12:46:03 PM  
...they are cute though, with those big ears.

I have big ears.
2002-10-18 12:47:03 PM  
haha, .....are they furry too?
2002-10-18 12:48:18 PM  
You just think Koalas are nice.....heh heh heh....
2002-10-18 12:53:12 PM  
for anyone that cant get to the link, try going to the toledoblade.com and just click on the link to the article from the front page (it's about halfway down)
2002-10-18 12:59:14 PM  
When my daughter and I go to the Toledo Zoo we always see the koalas. After about 5 milliseconds later we say,"that was nice, lets go see some carnivores." The koalas just kinda sit there, on the tree. Very expensive and they don't do anything. Kinda like my ex-wife....
2002-10-18 12:59:28 PM  
Goddamn no-good eucalyptus-eatin' airline-mascot Darwinian-dead-end bastids. BASTIDS.
2002-10-18 01:00:42 PM  
Hmm.... Possible buisness op here......
How hard is it to grow a "u-ka-lip-tis" ( not even gonna try) trees. I'll do it for 22k.

And all the koala meat I can eat :)
2002-10-18 01:02:46 PM  
I have a wet, hairy pussy. :)
2002-10-18 01:05:06 PM  
oops! Grammer f-up.
2002-10-18 01:05:50 PM  
User name: username
Password: *******
2002-10-18 01:10:18 PM  
Additionally, zoo officials considered the conservation of the species, which no longer is considered endangered, and the fact that the duo sleeps about 22 hours a day.

Personally I think the koalas could care less where they are.
2002-10-18 01:14:09 PM  
I've seen these koalas, and they are, quite literally, bumps on a log. They do NOTHING.

On another note, some of the Spanish revival architecture at the Toledo Zoo is outstanding.
2002-10-18 01:14:53 PM  
Toledo's loss will leave only 14 American zoos with koalas.

Ummm...since they are being shipped back to San Diego, doesn't that mean....oh god...the pain..in my head...must...not...think...too...hard...

2002-10-18 01:17:31 PM  
Or click on the picture on the second post.
2002-10-18 01:18:52 PM  
Username.. password.. username.. password.. USER.. NAME... PASS.. WORD.. USERNAMEPASSWORDUSERNAMEPASSWORD!
2002-10-18 01:19:40 PM  
Opps. My comment was sort of late. I should refresh more often.
2002-10-18 01:20:30 PM  


An entire pre-mortem web page dedicated to your aforementioned deceased koala.
2002-10-18 01:22:13 PM  
We tried to get the Koalas to eat a carrot. They could care less. They sleep 22 hours a day. Their keeper had to help the male Koala mate with the female because HE KEPT FALLING ASLEEP.

Some animals deserve to be extinct.

Best Regards,

2002-10-18 01:24:18 PM  
I saw them a couple years ago (more like back in 91, damn I'm getting old), right when the zoo first got them. It was a really big deal, and there was like a 45 minute wait to get into see them. Then when you got in, they were just sitting on some tree, barely in sight. It was the biggest waste of time in my life.

Well, just behind waiting 3 hours for the Disaster Transport. Agh, why, why, why.
2002-10-18 01:32:20 PM  
For the koalas, "picky," even "finicky," doesn't do them justice, according to those in the koala world. "If you offered them something else, they wouldn't know what to do with it," said Jennifer Moll, a senior koala keeper at the San Diego Zoo. "They'd starve before they'd eat a carrot."

How did these things not evolve themselves out of existence?
2002-10-18 01:33:28 PM  
All of you FARKers should love the Koala!

They live your dream! They get stoned offa the eucalyptus and are high 24/7.

CARROTS DON'T GET YOU HIGH. Seriously, imagine if you could survive by smoking weed all day.

You'd sleep 22 hours and need help "doin' it" too.

2002-10-18 01:40:35 PM  
Gonna eat some Koala chips with some Koala dip, at least thats what think.

-Andrew Dice Clay-
2002-10-18 01:42:58 PM  
The Milwaukee County Zoo has a pair of Koalas. They're actually a little more active. Ours still hang out in trees, but at least they blink and chew.

There's a little plaque by their pen that says that they get fresh eucalyptus flown in from Dee-own Undah a few times a week. I can't help but think there's GOTTA be a way to grow that krep up here...I mean, koalas ar cute and all, but it just seems like an awful lot of trouble to go to. They could probably just replace them with animatronic stuffed ones that blinked and wiggled their toes, and nobody'd be any the wiser.

Seriously, though. Come to Milwaukee. Our Zoo is good. We have lots of other cool stuff, too.
2002-10-18 02:03:09 PM  
Could they save some money by feeding the koalas to a larger predator? At least it wouldn't be a total loss.
2002-10-18 02:11:01 PM  
Eucalyptus....hmmm???? I know, just go to your nearest drugstore, Cold & Flu aisle and by every damn Eucalyptus enhanced cough drop you can find. That ought to cut down on costs.
2002-10-18 02:14:32 PM  
I agree with MaxxLarge, the Milwaukee Zoo is pretty good. And we actually have animals less active than the Koala (like the Wolverine, I've seen him once in the 15+ times I've been there.

The reason Koala's only eat Euchlyptus is because their bodies have specially adapted to process the poison in the Euchalyptus leaves (which would kill most creatures with the amount they eat) And they have that food supply all to themselves. They need to sleep to digest all that stuff. Its like after Thanksgiving dinner when you get all sleepy.

HayDuke: Could they save some money by feeding the koalas to a larger predator? At least it wouldn't be a total loss.
Koala's don't have any predators that I know of, and they could probably do some damage to a lot of animals. Koala's may be slow most of the time, but they can move fast when they're threatened and have big ass claws (used for climbing)
2002-10-18 02:17:50 PM  
GuyIncognito it's the same thing that's affecting yahoo! links. keeps adding a %26 to the URL. wtf?

%26 is the & in html. I've seen other links convert certain symbols too, I'm not sure why. example: if I remember right %20 is a space
2002-10-18 02:18:19 PM  
NedFlanders Koalas taste just like chicken
Actually, I thought they tasted kind of like a cross between Spotted Owl and California Condor (though a liberal helping of Snail Darter sauce makes them much less gamey.)

Seriuosly, though, given that they eat eucalyptus and only eucalyptus, I suspect the taste like camphorated dog balls. Blecch! And as to why they haven't evolved themself out of existence with their oh so bland diet, I suspect it has something to do with eucalyptus being to Eastern Australia like Maple and Oak are to the Eastern US - ubiquitous. Or it may have something to do with Australia being colonized by the Mammal with the second blandest diet on the planet: Victorian Englishmen.
2002-10-18 02:22:42 PM  
I wonder if this was the same Koala from the prostitute story. You know the one where she tries to charge him for oral sex and he doesn't understand. So she defines "prostitute" as a woman who engages in sex for money. He respondes with the definition of "Koala" which is Koala - Marsupial.... Eats bush and leaves.

/old joke
2002-10-18 02:26:00 PM  
If someone paid me $44,000 to get stoned and sleep. I'd let people watch; well most of the time anyways.
2002-10-18 02:38:42 PM  
44 grand & sleeps 22 hours a day?

the zoo should just invest in a couple of cats & save some money.
2002-10-18 03:13:59 PM  
Sleeping Koalas or No Koalas...
What about some cut-out of Koalas that move around a little?
$399.99 ea.
2002-10-18 03:36:18 PM  
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2002-10-18 03:41:47 PM  
Optikeye: If someone paid me $44,000 to get stoned and sleep. I'd let people watch; well most of the time anyways.

Honestly. I mean, if you figure 22 hours a day x 7 days a week at 52 weeks per $44,000 year, these koalas were getting paid an average of about $5.50 per hour (minimum wage?) to SLEEP. Hell, I made that working a couple of semesters in the cafeteria at college, and nobody paid to see it.

Of course, I slept about as much, so...maybe that's not surprising.
2002-10-18 04:18:55 PM  
I want to be reincarnated as a koaloa - all they do is hang out in trees , eat leaves , and MATE . How cool is that ??
2002-10-18 06:24:01 PM  
Not all eucalyptus species are winter-hardy, and koalas are picky about which eucalyptus they will eat. It's also a relatively slow-growing plant, so with harsh winters, you'd need a pretty large farm of the trees to feed the koalas. Perhaps it's better to only permanently exhibit them in regions where their diet can be supported by a local farm.
2002-10-18 07:48:32 PM  
im an aussie and all the zoos and wildlife reserves are packed with them -- KOALAS ARE BORING, they sleep about 23 hours a day, they do nothing but sleep and then tilt their head slightly to eat a leaf and spend the other hour chewing it

they suck....... $44,000 is a lot, with the amount of eucalyptus trees here (EVERYWHERE) ud think they wouldnt be that hard to grow; koalas cannot eat anything else, theyve been designed that way
2002-10-18 07:49:21 PM  
oh and btw, if they were more active, they would be very deadly

lovely 1 inch razor sharp claws
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