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(Fark)   Fark's top Wordplay headlines of 2007: Lyrics and Rhyming and Puns, oh my   (fark.com) divider line
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7083 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Dec 2007 at 4:27 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



109 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2007-12-31 4:16:14 PM  
This is the most difficult contest of them all. Being that this is Fark, the submitters know that a basic headline just won't do if they want a greenlight. Now most submitters know to submit a decent headline that A) gives the admin an idea of what the story is about, and B) makes it sorta funny. But then there are the overachievers. The submitters that find that magical headline that is a clever masterpiece. This is for the most clever wordplay/pun-type headline of 2007, so the bar is raised.

Which one do you like best?
 
2007-12-31 4:16:56 PM  
Man sought in dessert shop killings. Police are expecting a confection soon

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=2515117
 
2007-12-31 4:17:10 PM  
Cannibal who ate fellow inmate had previously asked authorities to separate him from cellmate; finally threw up his hands out of frustration


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=2522229
 
2007-12-31 4:17:26 PM  
Naked man resists arrest, puts the ol' junk in, he puts the ol' junk out, he puts the junk back and is tased and passes out. They start to take him to the pokey and he faints and passes out. He dies and it all comes out


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=2522901
 
2007-12-31 4:17:46 PM  
Wife saves her hubby from croc that had its jaws around his head. Talk about a reptile dysfunction

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=2524657
 
2007-12-31 4:18:46 PM  
There once was a drunk man named Gammel/He went out and drank like a camel/Exposed his bottom/Cops said, "We got 'em"/Now he's restrained with a trammel


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=2539982
 
2007-12-31 4:19:05 PM  
Cheesemaker appeals for return of equipment in caerphilly-worded statement. Brie on the lookout, edam well wants it back


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=2556497
 
2007-12-31 4:19:30 PM  
Bingo hall worker B-10 and robbed

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=2576125
 
2007-12-31 4:19:57 PM  
Allegations of corpse abuse at medical university come to a head, faculty respond with the cold shoulder


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=2589944
 
2007-12-31 4:20:17 PM  
Malvern's gonna be the witness to the ultimate test of cheese-making fitness. This grips me more than would a block of Swiss or wheel of Gouda


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=2637957
 
2007-12-31 4:20:50 PM  
Math teacher shocks busload of kids by displaying the member of his set, demonstrating angle of rotation; will probably end up in prism


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=2765474
 
2007-12-31 4:21:13 PM  
Skywalkers in Korea cross Han solo


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=2781103
 
2007-12-31 4:21:56 PM  
She offered her honour. He honoured her offer. All night long, His Honour was on her and off her


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=2792419
 
2007-12-31 4:22:11 PM  
Russian cargo ship hauls snails to International Space Station. So really it's more of an escargot ship


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=2799339
 
2007-12-31 4:22:28 PM  
Teen walking along Long Island Railroad shocked that she gets to be the conductor


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=2885710
 
2007-12-31 4:22:51 PM  
Man refrigerates hand after severing it with chainsaw, last seen heading to second hand store


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=2907480
 
2007-12-31 4:23:05 PM  
Mom wants schools to ban books filled with sin. There goes my trigonometry textbook


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=2943856
 
2007-12-31 4:23:23 PM  
Hollywood is putting pigeons on the pill to reduce their population. San Juan Capistrano says that won't be needed for their swallows


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=2965233
 
2007-12-31 4:23:38 PM  
Teen okay after fall from trip to bell tower. When asked his name, the Reverend said, "I don't know his name, but his face rings a bell"


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=2991876
 
2007-12-31 4:23:59 PM  
It might get your goat to hear about a guy who got rammed by a bull in a cow pen while he doggedly gathered his pigs. Should have ducked


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=3001991
 
2007-12-31 4:24:28 PM  
Woman named Torre helps capture and rescue chicken from beating. Chicken catcher Torre?


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=3028149
 
2007-12-31 4:24:48 PM  
Searchers think they have found a sunken WWII submarine in the Bering Sea, hope it doesn't turn out to be an optical Aleutian


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=3040519
 
2007-12-31 4:25:02 PM  
Asshat steals van for mentally handicapped girl. This guy should be tard and feathered


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=3081047
 
2007-12-31 4:25:15 PM  
Man arrested for brokering human transplants on the Internet. Expected to slow the illegal arms trade


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=3138733
 
2007-12-31 4:25:36 PM  
Police officer charged with molesting mentally handicapped girls. This is not just an abuse of his authority, it's farking retarded


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=3162567
 
2007-12-31 4:25:55 PM  
Couple buys monkey as pet, get upset when it dominates them and their dog. Marmoset knock you out


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=3294012
 
2007-12-31 4:27:45 PM  
This is easily my favorite contest.
 
2007-12-31 4:30:11 PM  
Unfreakable: This is easily my favorite contest.

Seconded.
 
2007-12-31 4:31:39 PM  
Brilliant. All of them.
 
2007-12-31 4:31:59 PM  
Oh slapstick, how I love thee.
 
2007-12-31 4:34:10 PM  
Headline of the Year candidate: Woman named Torre helps capture and rescue chicken from beating. Chicken catcher Torre?


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=3028149


I remember the day this hit the intrawebs. What a glorious day that was
 
2007-12-31 4:34:28 PM  
no less than four of these made me pee in my pants a little.
 
2007-12-31 4:35:14 PM  
Headline of the Year candidate: Bingo hall worker B-10 and robbed
http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=2576125


I see what you did there ¬¬
 
2007-12-31 4:37:41 PM  
pixistick: Headline of the Year candidate: Woman named Torre helps capture and rescue chicken from beating. Chicken catcher Torre?


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=3028149

I remember the day this hit the intrawebs. What a glorious day that was


That's a classic. :-)

Seriously, this is the only thread that had me laughing the entire time. And the only one I couldn't NOT vote for more than one.

/and there was much rejoicing
//yay
 
2007-12-31 4:37:53 PM  
Awesome. Simply awesome, everyone.
 
2007-12-31 4:38:06 PM  
Headline of the Year candidate: Asshat steals van for mentally handicapped girl. This guy should be tard and feathered


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=3081047


I've been laughing for a few minutes now on this one. Missed it the first time around. This contest rules.
 
2007-12-31 4:38:22 PM  
Mom wants schools to ban books filled with sin. There goes my trigonometry textbook

My degree in math made it a moral imperative to vote for this one.
 
2007-12-31 4:39:04 PM  
The only one I voted for was Malvern's gonna be the witness to the ultimate test of cheese-making fitness. This grips me more than would a block of Swiss or wheel of Gouda, despite having a headline of my own in the running, simply because this one was so full of win.
 
2007-12-31 4:40:02 PM  
Ha! I voted for four of them. And they turned out to be the only four that others had voted on.

So that happened.
 
2007-12-31 4:40:36 PM  
Headline of the Year candidate: Couple buys monkey as pet, get upset when it dominates them and their dog. Marmoset knock you out


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=3294012


WINNA!

Dude, seriously, hardest laugh I had all day!
 
2007-12-31 4:42:15 PM  
Headline of the Year candidate: Cannibal who ate fellow inmate had previously asked authorities to separate him from cellmate; finally threw up his hands out of frustration
This is terrible. And I can't stop laughing about it.
 
2007-12-31 4:42:50 PM  
Excellent all.
 
2007-12-31 4:43:41 PM  
Unfreakable: This is easily my favorite contest.

Im kinda partial to the Miss Nude World contest but this is good too.

Thank you again for doing all this and happy new year.
 
2007-12-31 4:43:57 PM  
Palmer Eldritch: The only one I voted for was Malvern's gonna be the witness to the ultimate test of cheese-making fitness. This grips me more than would a block of Swiss or wheel of Gouda, despite having a headline of my own in the running, simply because this one was so full of win.

Based on your comment, I assumed you would be one of those Farkers who puts his greenlights on his bio.

And thank god you do. The "semen" in the "basement" one nearly had me crying. If that's from 2007 (didn't bother to look) it should be here.
 
2007-12-31 4:45:32 PM  
Koggie: Ha! I voted for four of them. And they turned out to be the only four that others had voted on.



*blink*

*facepalm*
 
2007-12-31 4:45:49 PM  
I just want to tell you both all good luck. We're all counting on you.

Seriously, some great headlines, guys.
 
2007-12-31 4:50:10 PM  
On a related note, the "Marmoset knock you out" link went to something other than the related thread.... any chance of getting a link to the actual "marmoset" thread?

kthxbai!
 
2007-12-31 4:51:13 PM  
Police officer charged with molesting mentally handicapped girls. This is not just an abuse of his authority, it's farking retarded

Asshat steals van for mentally handicapped girl. This guy should be tard and feathered


Both of these were not at all funny.
 
2007-12-31 4:51:55 PM  
Koggie: Ha! I voted for four of them. And they turned out to be the only four that others had voted on.

So that happened.


I would point and mock but I am so full of mirth after reading these headlines that instead I will just hope that you are either joking or well polluted on holiday cheer.
 
2007-12-31 4:54:13 PM  
wydok: Police officer charged with molesting mentally handicapped girls. This is not just an abuse of his authority, it's farking retarded

Asshat steals van for mentally handicapped girl. This guy should be tard and feathered

Both of these were not at all funny.


Maybe you just didnt 'get' them?

You can take remedial humor classes online now.
 
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