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(Reuters)   "Worms infect more Americans than thought." Submitter can confirm that very few people seem to be infected with thought   ( divider line
    More: Scary  
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2725 clicks; posted to Fandom » on 26 Dec 2007 at 8:23 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

39 Comments     (+0 »)
2007-12-26 5:03:51 PM  
Very droll, submitter. You get a leftover holiday cookie.
2007-12-26 5:05:34 PM  
Good catch.

2007-12-26 5:07:11 PM  
magic.orgView Full Size
2007-12-26 5:08:37 PM  
Well I think those numbers are even actually higher. After all, how could I say that Mr. Tappy here has infested me. I take insinuation of a parasitic relationship as an insult. All he has given me is his burrowing intellect, his infectious personality, and his thousands upon thousands of eggs.
2007-12-26 5:15:19 PM  
I was at Mom's for Christmas and was putting some stuff away in the pantry. I noticed some brown liquid on a box on a shelf. Straight up two shelves was a bottle of chocolate syrup. So I dabbed my finger in the liquid on the box and tasted it to see if it was the syrup.

It wasn't. It was the ooze from an expired asploded can of pineapples on the shelf in between.

"What did you get for Christmas, Dio?"

ZAZ [TotalFark]
2007-12-26 5:16:12 PM  
In other news, rural Southern whites are infected by a worm that can enter through the soles of bare feet, but they are rural, Southern, and white so they don't get called out like urban blacks and hispanics.
2007-12-26 5:22:36 PM  
img201.imageshack.usView Full Size
2007-12-26 5:35:48 PM  
Haw, Haw! I steal all my funny headlines from the WSJ too!

2007-12-26 5:59:50 PM  
FTFA: Roundworms may infect close to a quarter of inner city black children, tapeworms are the leading cause of seizures among U.S. Hispanics and other parasitic diseases associated with poor countries are also affecting Americans, a U.S. expert said on Tuesday.

That's racist! Why do worms hate minorities?
2007-12-26 7:38:44 PM  
There are worms and then there are worms...not good to be infected with. Tapeworms (which I would think my other half is infected with 'cept he doesn't lose weight) roundworms, ringworms which cause scabies etc., are around even in metro areas. I'll take the advice of Nostradamus and encourage clean streets, clean homes, etc.

/not infected with worms as far as I know
2007-12-26 7:39:47 PM  
The last time we had reports that people were infected with thought, we got reality television.
2007-12-26 7:58:54 PM  
An ex-boyfriend of mine had worms when he was a kid. I have no idea where he got them from, but his stories are horrifying. They had to come out of his *ahem* intestinal tract, and he said he could feel them squirming around down there. They would hide when exposed to light.

Oh my god, I just freaked myself out again.

2007-12-26 8:35:35 PM  
aniktwo: Oh my god, I just freaked myself out again.

Then I strongly suggest you don't do a GIS for "parasite lost". I was looking for Futurama pics and, well...

So, how 'bout those Patriots?
2007-12-26 8:45:12 PM  
dccc.orgView Full Size
2007-12-26 8:52:42 PM  
Isn't there a study that states that we don't have enough worms in our intestinal tracts, and there's a possibility this is leading to an epidemic in Crohns, psoriasis, excema and certain types of arthritis and asthma.

Wish they'd make up their damn minds.

//lots of other anecdotal evidence if you want to google for it.
2007-12-26 8:53:12 PM  
aniktwo: An ex-boyfriend of mine had worms when he was a kid. I have no idea where he got them from, but his stories are horrifying. They had to come out of his *ahem* intestinal tract, and he said he could feel them squirming around down there. They would hide when exposed to light.

Oh my god, I just freaked myself out again.


I would like to share my worm with you :)
kiddin aside I remeber someone in grammar school telling me they would sleep with a rag soaked in honey near their anus to get the worms to come out
//could have just been a grammar school rumor
2007-12-26 9:03:19 PM  
actually they can cause a decline in asthma and an increase in immune stability. i say we start a no child left without worms policy.
2007-12-26 9:14:12 PM  
Not enough people are keeping their copies of Norton up to date. Priorities, people!

2007-12-26 9:16:17 PM  
Would it be nasty to say..Send them back to where they come from?

/I know most of them were born here.
//But Bush jr. keeps vetoing the damn kids health bill.
///Damn kids.
////Some live in hell.
//Also known as the projects(slums).
2007-12-26 9:23:06 PM  
thedarkshadow: anecdotal evidence

Anecdotal evidence is evidence that there are anecdotes- nothing more.

My cats had tapeworms recently. That was pretty nasty.
2007-12-26 9:31:29 PM  

I would like to share my worm with you :)

Now that's an obscure reference!

("Missionary Work", Bruce McAllister, F&SF, Dec '78)
2007-12-26 9:35:13 PM  
FTFA: He said the United States spent hundreds of millions of dollars to defend against bio-terrorism threats like anthrax or smallpox or avian flu, which were more a theoretical concern than a real threat at present.

Needs to be repeated.
2007-12-26 9:35:20 PM  
Isn't there some way we can recast this study as a way to overcome the obesity epidemic?
2007-12-26 9:38:23 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
Not Impressed
2007-12-26 9:47:17 PM  
*plants hands, secures legs up front; drags ass across carpet*
2007-12-26 10:17:25 PM  
Subby wins.
2007-12-26 10:18:05 PM  
img120.imageshack.usView Full Size

I'm so disappointed in you all.
2007-12-26 11:07:39 PM  
Ex-girlfriends with worms?
2007-12-26 11:17:59 PM  
Dr. Hotez original article is at
(new window)

CDC fact sheets for the general public are available regarding

Toxocara canis (new window) with a new announcement (new window) about the higher prevalence

Taenia solium (new window) the cause of cysticercosis

Toxoplasma gondii (new window)

For the most part, the hypotheses of the protective effects of parasites have not been borne out, but chronic problems such as anemia and malnutrition are well-documented.

Those of you who enjoy looking at pictures of worms being extracted from the eye should GIS "loa loa"

Sweet dreams.
2007-12-26 11:27:16 PM  
"Urban playgrounds in the United States have recently been shown to be a particularly rich source of Toxocara eggs and inner-city children are at high risk of acquiring the infection," Hotez wrote,

img338.imageshack.usView Full Size
2007-12-26 11:44:29 PM  
eikni: Ex-girlfriends with worms?

"What about ex-boyfriends?"
"It's a pill...that gives ex-girlfriends!"
2007-12-26 11:53:18 PM  
laugh all you want but the guy picking your lettuce or spinache and sh*tting in the field probably had pinworms or roundworms or a tapeworm. just how well did you sterilize those veggies before you ate them, hmmmm?
2007-12-27 12:04:03 AM  
There are plenty of great antiparasite foods and natural remedies that have long histories and research to back up their effectiveness. Here ( is a good list. I can personally attest to the usefulness of grapefruit seed extract and activated charcoal as preventative antibacterial, antiviral, and antiparasite supplements, having spent 2 months working in a village in Ecuador, not obeying any of the recommendations like "don't brush your teeth with the local water" and "don't swim in the sewer/river", and not getting anything worse than a mild daylong case of giardial diarrhea.

/Hey Lois, "diarrhea!"
//Hahaha I'm carrying drinks here!
2007-12-27 12:14:48 AM  
Damn some of you have morbig humors.
2007-12-27 3:11:38 AM  
specialkae: There are worms and then there are worms...not good to be infected with. , ringworms which cause scabies etc.

Ummmm...scabies is caused by the sarcopti mite.....ringworm isn't actually a worm, it's fungal infection of the skin.
The more you know.....
2007-12-27 12:49:48 PM  
"not today worm dude"
2007-12-27 8:50:35 PM  
If you have the stomach for it, look up "Lotus Boob".

It is, of course, fake. But very creepy nonetheless.

2007-12-27 10:11:44 PM  
I'm infected with thought, so naturally I'm really getting a kick out of most of these replies.
2007-12-28 1:34:52 AM  
When the world hands you worms, make wormaid!
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