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(Wall Street Journal)   You are the lucky owner of the Model ZVZ156 Vangplotz High-Digenation Wide-Scringe Framulator, Series 7000, with fernillated quick-response Worzel™ and 20,000 zurlebytes of scringe-view quorms   (opinionjournal.com) divider line
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    More: Amusing  
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21478 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Dec 2007 at 7:39 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



97 Comments     (+0 »)


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
BearToy
2007-12-26 2:37:48 AM  
This reminds me of my first Retro Encabulator
 
Bob_Laublaw [TotalFark]
2007-12-26 2:53:00 AM  
Why, my Tetratonic Matrix simply explodes with duo-dometric capacitation.
 
Bill_Wick's_Friend
2007-12-26 2:53:58 AM  
Pfffft. ANOTHER one!?

/throwing it on the high digenation framulator pile
 
Bob_Laublaw [TotalFark]
2007-12-26 2:55:11 AM  
Bill_Wick's_Friend: /throwing it on the high digenation framulator pile

Cakaphluate THIS, Buckwisk!
 
Bob Down
2007-12-26 2:57:16 AM  
Haha you got the series 7000. OLD MODEL!
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2007-12-26 2:57:37 AM  
Bob_Laublaw: Why, my Tetratonic Matrix simply explodes with duo-dometric capacitation.

My nipples explode with delight!

intriguing.comView Full Size
 
fishrockcarving [TotalFark]
2007-12-26 3:01:35 AM  
The 8000 series has the universal Lithinode Distrillitor with the self extracting and adjusting influrger pack from the distrillitor's surge-protection splange. The 7000 series does not.

Besides, since multiple woopler-varnicle node misconnection will cause xurls to disrupt the scringe-view quorms once the framulator is plugged in, the 8000 series has, as a default, the variated multipronged grallup to secure the pink wooplers to the orange varnicle nodes instead of the varnicle inhibitor, which is sub-optimal, at best.

So, thanks, but I think I will stick with the 6000.3 series until the 8000 series drop in price a bit.
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2007-12-26 3:07:07 AM  
fishrockcarving: since multiple woopler-varnicle node misconnection will cause xurls to disrupt the scringe-view quorms once the framulator is plugged in

Now wait just one second here. How can the flacknard remulators possibly scromgumel the nizzle grubbins if the woopler-varnicle nodes aren't xurl-normalized across all quorm-centered zurminjapters?

I question your methodology, sir.
 
Radioactive Ass
2007-12-26 3:18:44 AM  
img165.imageshack.usView Full Size


"I wondered where that went to..."
 
You_mean_Im_gonna_stay_this_color
2007-12-26 5:28:57 AM  
fake + not funny = FAIL
 
babysealclubber
2007-12-26 7:48:49 AM  
fishrockcarving: The 8000 series has the universal Lithinode Distrillitor with the self extracting and adjusting influrger pack from the distrillitor's surge-protection splange. The 7000 series does not.

Besides, since multiple woopler-varnicle node misconnection will cause xurls to disrupt the scringe-view quorms once the framulator is plugged in, the 8000 series has, as a default, the variated multipronged grallup to secure the pink wooplers to the orange varnicle nodes instead of the varnicle inhibitor, which is sub-optimal, at best.

So, thanks, but I think I will stick with the 6000.3 series until the 8000 series drop in price a bit.

It may be early on, but you sir, win.
 
Bob Down
2007-12-26 7:49:15 AM  
Fake? Awww we been had
 
MaxxLarge
2007-12-26 7:49:18 AM  
When did the Wall Street Journal become MAD Magazine?

/plotz
//shpladoinkle
///potrzebie
 
babysealclubber
2007-12-26 7:50:12 AM  
MaxxLarge: When did the Wall Street Journal become MAD Magazine?

/plotz
//shpladoinkle
///potrzebie

Ever since NewsCorp took it over.
 
Day_Old_Dutchie
2007-12-26 7:51:54 AM  
BearToy: This reminds me of my first Retro Encabulator

Back in MY day, all we had was the turbo-encablulator..

http://www.floobydust.com/turbo-encabulator/ (with prefabulated popping goodness)
 
Tarx
2007-12-26 7:52:00 AM  
first thing i thought of (no pop)
 
jamspoon [OhFark]
2007-12-26 7:57:32 AM  
babysealclubber: The 8000 series has the universal Lithinode Distrillitor with the self extracting and adjusting influrger pack from the distrillitor's surge-protection splange. The 7000 series does not.

Besides, since multiple woopler-varnicle node misconnection will cause xurls to disrupt the scringe-view quorms once the framulator is plugged in, the 8000 series has, as a default, the variated multipronged grallup to secure the pink wooplers to the orange varnicle nodes instead of the varnicle inhibitor, which is sub-optimal, at best.

But can you get a signal on it at the back of the store when you've found a bargain in the sales and want to confirm that you need to buy at least three to be stored for 12 months and given as out of date Christmas presents in 2008.
 
mreuther
2007-12-26 7:58:21 AM  
Wow. What's the MSRP in quatloos?
 
MortalComedy
2007-12-26 8:02:49 AM  
[image from members.aol.com too old to be available]
Your final product should look like this.
 
shroomtex
2007-12-26 8:03:16 AM  
So....what is this, some sort of farce writen by a New York writer about how hard it is for him to put together his kids new bike after Xmas?

/Am I missing something?
//Queue "the point" photos
 
sfsdfd
2007-12-26 8:04:26 AM  
Pfft. Should've waited for the 8000 series, which has Anti-Tangle Technology(TM).

- David Stein
 
Abe Vigoda's Ghost
2007-12-26 8:07:17 AM  
Razner: Can I get it without Vista?

Only if you can dig up the old drivers for the woopler-varnicle node misconnection. Good luck with getting the Lithinode Distrillitor to recognize it.
 
goodmoto
2007-12-26 8:12:46 AM  
This is not funny nor creative. Perhaps it would have more an effect if the terms sounded a bit more technical and less childish.

extenulator? flonge? grommel? varnicle? disk-o-later?

please. at least try to convince us.
 
Arkcon
2007-12-26 8:19:53 AM  
Mr. Crabb is a writer in New York.

Kinda. Bot not really.

/Not a typo
//Interwebs have tons of random text generators
///You not funny
 
PC LOAD LETTER [TotalFark]
2007-12-26 8:19:54 AM  
Didn't Dave Barry do this already?
 
xx409xx
2007-12-26 8:21:24 AM  
Lame, I've got 2 9000's running SLI, and each has 80,000 zurlebytes ON BOARD! I mean of course I really dont have to mention that Im using liquid nitrogen to cool them, i get like 150fps so i totally pwn at counterstrike.
 
Omnivorous [BareFark]
2007-12-26 8:25:44 AM  
Got nothing on the instructions for my eton e-10 shortwave radio. And I don't even need to assemble that little monster.
 
clevershark
2007-12-26 8:28:35 AM  
Wow. WSJ writers really phone it in during the holidays, don't they...
 
walnuts55
2007-12-26 8:33:57 AM  
Mr. Crabb is a writer Has much better weed than me in New York.
 
Shakespeare's Monkey [OhFark]
2007-12-26 8:34:36 AM  
farm3.static.flickr.comView Full Size


Here's one set up properly. Not that hard, really.

/thought Dr. Seuss was dead
 
rodr3
2007-12-26 8:50:07 AM  
img185.imageshack.usView Full Size
 
Mandapants
2007-12-26 8:52:19 AM  
Article wasn't funny, but the responses sure as hell are.

/loves me some farkers/farkettes
 
CycloneArmageddon
2007-12-26 9:03:54 AM  
PC LOAD LETTER: Didn't Dave Barry do this already?

Dave Barry and multiple others over the past, oh... i don't know, 100 years?
 
bsdbigot
2007-12-26 9:09:49 AM  
Somebody should drop Mr. Crabb into the Frobozz Electric Totemizer.
 
Three legged dog
2007-12-26 9:13:01 AM  
Mandapants: Article wasn't funny, but the responses sure as hell aren't.

/loves me some bored to tears by farkers/farkettes

FTFY
 
schiefaw
2007-12-26 9:18:57 AM  
LOLZ!!!

Only newbs use Vangplotz High-Digenation Wide-Scringe Framulators. Everyone knows that Kerplanken High-Digenation Wide-Scringe Framulators are much more customizable and cost half as much.

Sorry, I am not willing to pay twice as much so I can look cool!
 
Tax Boy
2007-12-26 9:21:06 AM  
[image from upload.wikimedia.org too old to be available]
 
mark12A
2007-12-26 9:21:12 AM  
The article contained ZERO funnay. The comments made me chuckle.

/Interocitor FTW!!!
 
Nightsweat
2007-12-26 9:23:40 AM  
Or BabelFished for those of us who AREN'T technically retarded -

"Use a phillips head screwdriver to assemble the pieces."
 
xmasbaby
2007-12-26 9:24:07 AM  
Model ZVZ156?

Are you going for the "retro" look or the "I don't have any money" look?

Loves me some Master Shake
 
hogans
2007-12-26 9:25:04 AM  
[image from sfx.co.uk too old to be available]

"Scringe-view quorms? Anywhere else, it's a Jethryk receptor."

/We're from The North
 
BurnKateDrumGuy
2007-12-26 9:25:41 AM  
You_mean_Im_gonna_stay_this_color: fake + not funny = FAIL

it's a perfectly cromulent article. we're all embiggened by its existence.

/interocitor FTW
 
jso2897
2007-12-26 9:26:30 AM  
You_mean_Im_gonna_stay_this_color: fake + not funny = FAIL

Fake? What do you mean, fake?
 
Spartan Dave
2007-12-26 9:30:11 AM  
I gotta get me one of them.
 
Ow My Balls
2007-12-26 9:32:06 AM  
Is this the oral or rectal version?
 
flyurchin
2007-12-26 9:33:30 AM  
You want me to bypass the nanker valve? How are we gonna bypass the nanker valve?
 
TheGreatGazoo
2007-12-26 9:35:20 AM  
What Dum Dum, can't you figure it out?
 
OtitisMEDIA
2007-12-26 9:59:59 AM  
"extend the revolving spangler to the fourth joint, attach the bludgger head and release the sping-grip"

that sounds like my night with Mrs. OtitisMEDIA ...
 
905
2007-12-26 10:06:35 AM  
The Worzel in question?
 
MBooda [TotalFark]
2007-12-26 10:09:07 AM  
Tax Boy

The Earth-Shattering Kaboom

/where is it?
 
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