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(Observer-Reporter)   $750,000 study ordered to determine why no one visits park where bicycling and rollerblading are banned   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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6009 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Oct 2002 at 7:37 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

42 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-10-14 02:50:38 PM  
Some of the ideas to pull more people to the Point include marinas for boaters, racks for kayaks and bicycles

Well those bike racks will sure be handy at a park that doesn't allow bikes. Also, I think kayaks are more fun when they're actually in water rather than in racks. Then again, I'm no $750,000 expert.
2002-10-14 03:07:13 PM  
Best use of the DUMBASS tag ever...
2002-10-14 03:24:59 PM  
Wow, I can actually sorta comment since I've been there.

We were in town for a wedding and I took my two kids down to the park. First of all, we rode the trolley into town (I think it cost me $4 for all three of us) and walked from the station to the park. I had to ask directions, even though it was only a block away, since there was not big sign saying 'point state park this way, you out of town idiot' Everyone assumes you know where it is.

And I did find it annoying that (like lots of other places) lots of things have been done to help cars out but there is next to nothing done for cyclists or pedestrians.

By chance, there was a regatta happening so there were vendors, performers, booths everywhere, lots of folks but still room to walk or sit on the grass. I did think it odd that the rather cool looking fountain was surrounded by a tall chain link fence. It was warm and to stick our feet in the fountain would have felt good. There are places you can run (lots of folks were doing just that, in spite of the crowd)

Nothing wrong with the park, but if they want more people to use it they simply need to ease up on the restrictions. You don't have to let the roller bladers overrun the place, just say they can come in from dawn until noon or something. I don't know, just lighten up some.

As for cycling (and I'm a cyclist) I wouldn't care if they opened it up because the park isn't really big enough to ride in. You could ride to the park, so yeah racks might be nice, but it isn't a huge park with miles of trails that would make biking enjoyable. And you might wind up with those Dr. Pepper wannabe BMXers skidding on the park benches and stuff which I simply detest (have a little respect for public property!)

Where do I send my bill? I'll only charge $500K for my expert opinions...
2002-10-14 07:43:05 PM  
2002-10-14 07:43:12 PM  
Must be the same consulting company that just finished a study for the Champaign-Urbana Mass Transit Authority. They took a few months and $100k to find out that most buses weren't being utilized but the ones around campus (U of Illinois) were being over-utilized.

Pretty much anyone in town could have told them the same thing--heck, I would have even thrown in a free powerpoint presentation.
2002-10-14 07:43:36 PM  
Reason why no one visits: Because people like to be run over by punks.
2002-10-14 07:43:42 PM  
You aren't allowed to loiter in the park? I thought that was what parks were for?
2002-10-14 07:44:32 PM  
Other ideas are simpler, like lifting some of the many prohibitions in the park, which include bicycling, inline skating, skateboarding, loitering or swimming or wading in the fountain.

Loitering? There's a ban on loitering? And they wonder why nobody is hanging out at their park...
2002-10-14 07:44:36 PM  
Other ideas are simpler, like lifting some of the many prohibitions in the park, which include bicycling, inline skating, skateboarding, loitering or swimming or wading in the fountain.

Loitering in the park is banned? WTF is a park for if not to loiter? (Well that and sex in the bushes, but that's not the point)
2002-10-14 07:44:40 PM  
They probably banned drug dealers too. No roller blading, bike riding, or buying drugs? What's the goddamn park there for?!?
2002-10-14 07:44:52 PM  
Paintball park.
2002-10-14 07:45:22 PM  
Curse you LadyDonald!!! I should have been first!
2002-10-14 07:45:39 PM  
LadyDonald, Umafoster04....GET OUTTA MY BRAIN Argggh!
2002-10-14 07:45:44 PM  
I won't go because the lesbian sex isn't explicit enough.
2002-10-14 07:46:58 PM  
Maybe they could get Rebecca Rom-whatever-Stamos to talk about how great sex in this park is.
2002-10-14 07:48:18 PM  
Where's Captain Obvious when you need him?
2002-10-14 07:50:50 PM  
I can see the reasons. We have a great trail. People come from 7 states to enjoy it. Problem is, you can't. Take an evening walk and the bikers blow you off the trail. They set out to do ten miles; what I consider to be an evening walk, with their cute little outfits, helmets, backpack water bottles. Then they ride like learners and run pedestrians off the trail. Now I am a cyclist and love to ride. The new riding genre are rude and a danger.

As for skateboarders, I say let the retards do it in the landfill. They are all brain damaged and won't notice.

/unusual consertative rant
2002-10-14 07:58:31 PM  
A few other suggestions:

Actually provide affordable parking near the park.

Clear out the bums (why is it everytime I visited there were more homeless then people)

Put up a beer garden on the weekends. (ok, that's just a big wish).

Clean up the rivers so you aren't looking out over pristine flowing garbage.

Those water taxi stands seem like a neat idea. And yet I've never actually seen a water taxi.

Keep skateboarders out. Why would you want to make the park less appealing?

Buy up every existing copy of 'Striking Distance' and burn them so tourism can no longer be discouraged.

That's off the top of my head, so I'll only charge $720,000.
2002-10-14 07:58:34 PM  
I try to be a polite biker, 'Possum... but sometimes the walkers want to take "their half of the trail out of the middle". They wander in packs, side by side, blocking the whole darn thing.

I'm all for sharing space, but if it's going to work it requires just a little bit of cooperation from the walkers too!
2002-10-14 08:04:11 PM  
I have a few ideas. Stop letting the local government manage the park. If it took them 29 years to turn it into a park, and they ban you from doing anything intersting in the park, like, sitting, then maybe someone else should manage it?
2002-10-14 08:08:34 PM  
Humm... can't skate, can't bike, can't even just stay there cause that's loitering... looks like the only thing you can do in this park is get the fark out of it.

Of course the authorities need to spend 3/4mil to figure out why people aren't going, the answers are so elusive.

I'll bet the dosh was handed over to some "consulting firm" with ties to whoever is granting the contract.
2002-10-14 08:16:13 PM  
Lighten the fark up! !!! !

Theres my advice, the bill for $15,000 is in the mail.
2002-10-14 08:32:10 PM  
No loitering? In a park? Spank me silly and call me Charlie, but I thought that loitering was the whole point of going in a park.

Best park I have every been to: Phoenix Park, in Dublin. This is actually huge for a city park (3 mile long), and you can do all the stuff that are forbidden there: bicycling, roller-skating (the only place it was safe to do so, the dubliners being even worst drivers than georgin), and above all, cool, nice loitering!

How much do you want to bet that the non-loitering edict was just an excuse for them to get rid only of certain indesirable people?
2002-10-14 08:43:07 PM  
Best dumbass perpetuated by intellectuals story I've read in a long time.
2002-10-14 08:46:25 PM  
Gimme a 'D'!

Gimme a 'U'!

Gimme an 'H'!

What's that spell....?
2002-10-14 08:51:15 PM  
Heh. We have a whole island in Detroit. It's called Belle Isle! And its great. You can BBQ there, cruise for hoe's at night (heh, j/k), dock your boat there, ride bikes or skate. There's an aquarium, and judging by all the used condoms on the ground, you can screw in the grass without getting busted. There's the occasional murder or rape there, but uhm... its Detroit. Whattaya want?
2002-10-14 08:58:03 PM  
Bulldoze the park and put in a parking lot.
2002-10-14 09:30:18 PM  
I live near a park that doesn't allow ballplaying of any kind. Where do people come up with this crap?
2002-10-14 09:31:43 PM  
2002-10-14 09:51:50 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

I demand they give me the $700,000 to study the local foilage.

/why they don't have that stuff there, I mean
2002-10-14 09:52:18 PM  
Thats my home-town
2002-10-14 09:55:43 PM  
i like tape.
2002-10-14 09:57:58 PM  
Best example of how well the government manages things.
2002-10-14 10:04:10 PM  
10-14-02 08:46:25 PM Rdr
Gimme a 'D'!

Gimme a 'U'!

Gimme an 'H'!

What's that spell....?"HUD?"

I KNEW the Dept of Housing and Urban Degeneracy was behind this one!
2002-10-14 10:11:58 PM  
A ban on swimming? That's just pointless. Anyone stupid enough to swim in the river(s) there deserves to be tossed in.

let me rephrase that for my fellow Pittsburgh farkers:

Ah ban ahn swimmin' n'aht? Thas chust jaggin' off. Any yinz dumb enough to get in the worter dahn-tahn nids to be tashssed in an'naht... PENN STATE SUCKS!
2002-10-14 10:19:51 PM  
Eat More Possum...I've been on the Creeper trail and you're right. Its beautiful but infested with maniacs. I actually rode it on a bicycle and was a bit afraid for my life.
2002-10-14 10:39:15 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Sounds like the Feiss Institute of Consulting.
2002-10-14 11:30:03 PM  
Lemme see, no bikes, no skates of any kind, no loitering, hell, that just about covers it. What the hell do they allow in that so-called park?
2002-10-14 11:36:49 PM  
No bikes in the park, eh? Perhaps I'll make them change their mind if I show them that a 375lb bike with 110bhp can do standing wheelies across the vast stretches of perfectly cut grass. Piviting the front wheel can yield pretty crop circles.

Perhaps pedal powered bicylcles would look so bad after all. And what the hell is so wrong with skateboards? Has there been a lot of people in the emergency room because they were run over by a skateboard? I just haven't seen many skateboard fatalities in the local newspaper lately.

Who is the director of parks there? That guy needs to get out and enjoy life. I hear there is a fine park to spend idle time at. Perhaps he needs to set an example and hang out.
2002-10-14 11:52:06 PM  
This park needs sex and drugs and rock and roll. I need $750,000. Show me where Pittsburg is and I'll come down, pick up my check, and get to work on the park.
2002-10-15 12:16:41 AM  
Ironically enough all these stupid-ass rules are designed to keep one segment of the population away: children.

And of course every time a government wastes your tax dollars by buying a large piece of land, usually from a well-connected friend, they claim to do it "for the children".

Every time they ban something, it's always because someone has to "think of the children".

I swear the next time I hear a politician go on this brainless hypocritical mantra I'll force him/her to consume his/her own weight in ex-lax, then lock them in their car for a couple of days.
2002-10-15 12:20:03 AM  
maybe if the nearest homes weren't across a river and up a 600-foot cliff people would go to the park.

that, and all the other stuff everyone mentioned already.
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