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(Christian Science Monitor)   Charting America's religious landscape.   ( divider line
    More: Interesting  
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8523 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Oct 2002 at 2:40 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2002-10-13 11:50:25 PM  
I'd rather have a map of some good pot fields across the American landscape and the keys to a Winnebago with a full tank of gas.
2002-10-13 11:54:47 PM  
The Catholic Church, which at 62 million is the country's largest denomination, grew by 16.2 percent.

/performs "sign of the cross" and reviews fire safety guidelines in preparation for upcoming war
2002-10-14 01:39:20 AM  
SLAYERSWINE said: I'd rather have a map of some good pot fields across the American landscape and the keys to a Winnebago with a full tank of gas..

As I suggested to CandyPink in another thread, SLAYERSWINE, move out to Santa Cruz, California and get "medical" permission for legalized pot. It's a nice place to live. Expensive, but very nice & year-round too.
2002-10-14 02:49:19 AM  
Dammit with the Mormons. I used to be one... they don't want to take you off because they love to jack up their membership numbers. They sucker people in (I know this first hand because of an ex-fiance who I said had to join to marry me) and tell them basically, "We Love Jesus." They don't tell you the freaky stuff until after a year of being "good" (church every Sunday, no coffee, no swearing, etc) Then they let you in the temple, and by then you're so cult minded, it doesn't phaze you.

So anyway, I told them take my name off... they sent someone to my house who said, "Write a letter" I did THAT and they wrote me a letter, "If you don't respond to this in 30 days you are no longer LDS." So a year later I call Salt Lake City and the lady at church records says, "You're still a member in good standing."

If they took off all the people who left, or just stopped going or whatever, they wouldn't be so big.

*off soapbox* lmao
2002-10-14 02:53:38 AM  
Before the flames begin (if they do), I'd like to say that lying to get pot medicinally sucks.

If you truly have a medical need, you should be able to get pot. As I said in another thread, I think medical pot is a VERY good thing and it should be legalized and people shouldn't have to worry about it.

Pot and/or completely legal pharmaceuticals have helped family members and friends feel better about being deathly ill with cancer.

Again, if you can't get it medicinally, it's still rather widely available in Santa Cruz. I wouldn't seriously advocate/suggest that anyone lie to get the prescription. I just think that medicinal marijuana is a very good thing and that is all. Don't lie to get it, please--you could ruin (sick) people's hopes of getting it and feeling better about dying.
2002-10-14 02:54:56 AM  
actually a pretty interesting article from a sociological standpoint - I really have no idea what to think of the Christian Science Monitor, I don't know if they're actually affiliated with the branch of Christianity known as "Christian Science" (I still say that's an oxymoron) but this article does include some pretty juicy statistics.
For one thing, I find it very appealing that many Americans are refusing to adhere to a specific organized religion but also are not describing themselves as atheists - to me that demonstrates that many people are becoming more open minded about their spiritual sides, and are no longer willing to be spoon fed dogma and (as a result) political agenda (because I don't know how religion and politics can ever be truly seperated except by a tightly enforced legal wall)
I'm willing to bet that there's a similar trend in politcal party affiliation going on right now, or at least I'm convinced there was before we had so polarizing an issue as war.
At any rate, sorry to be so nerdy at two in the AM, but one of my majors is sociology, and I get a hard on for this crap.
2002-10-14 02:56:32 AM  
We're all dying - some of us just aren't dying as fast - I still need to feel better about it.
2002-10-14 02:58:00 AM  
I haven't been inside a catholic church for about 13 years (since I was 12 or so), but i am no doubt one of those 62 million, because I was baptised as a child. And I'll probably stay one of those 62 million after I die, because I won't be getting last rites, and will ask to not have any religious bullshiat at my funeral.

"The report is not as reliable as a census since it is based on self-reported data from religious denominations"

Nota bene. It is reported by the churches themselves. This "study" is entirely useless. It's conclusions likely have no relation to reality whatsoever.
2002-10-14 03:00:10 AM  
jew owns j00
2002-10-14 03:00:59 AM  
2002-10-14 03:02:24 AM  
Many Catholics have moved from the Northeast and Midwest to the South and Southwest. Dr. Sanchagrin sees migration to the South, a Baptist stronghold, as presenting challenges for ecumenical relations. Competition is also strong between Catholic and Evangelical churches for the allegiance of the mushrooming Hispanic community, which is expected to become one-fourth of the US population by 2050.

...someone tell me these people don't eat babies. or at least use them to light their cigars.
these statistics people don't even seem to be aware that they're not really human.
2002-10-14 03:02:48 AM  
How do these studies depict different age groups? I seem to meet other atheists kids my age often (when religion comes up), and the study suggests that this is unlikely. I'll bet that a lot more teenage youth disbelieve in god than older groups because of the increased awareness of better explanations than the supernatural. Further, any study which asks people their religion or how religious they are will be biased towards the religious side, since people tend to view faith as more moral (and therefore fudge their answers to make themselves feel good.) Not to mention religious groups counting members that left (like my childhood church).
2002-10-14 03:04:17 AM  
2002-10-14 03:06:20 AM  
funny mormon story for ya:

i was in magadan, russia last summer. it's along the pacific coast in the far north east part of russia. it's very isolated and not the easiest place to get to. it's like the last frontier of asia...pretty much the same way we think of alaska here in the states.

the second to last day of my two month stay, i was walking downtown with my host and another american that was there with me. we were looking pretty russian, and we happened to pass two young guys wearing slacks, white buttoned shirts, ties, and nametags (in russia!!), and carrying backpacks.

my american friend and i both looked at each other and said, "mormons?!"

we were incredibly surprised to see them there. i'll admit, though, that was one of the funniest things i've ever seen. these guys stuck out worse than a sore thumb.

it doesn't surprise me one bit that it's the fastest growing
2002-10-14 03:08:03 AM  
Almost half of Americans are not claimed by any religious group.

We un-religious need to unionize and enforce our un-beliefs upon the minority immediately.
2002-10-14 03:08:12 AM  
Regarding Christian Scientists and the CSM:

Christian Scientists are a fringe group who advocate the medicinal value of prayer instead of modern medicine. These are the folks who are periodically arrested for criminal neglect because they refused to take a dangerously sick child to the doctor, and instead prayed a lot while the child died.

The Christian Science Monitor, on the other hand, is a legitimate and very even-handed news source with (IMHO) less bias than most of the major newspapers.

How a group of fringe believers puts out such a centered newspaper boggles me, and if anyone knows some background that explains it, I'd love to hear it.
2002-10-14 03:08:25 AM  
or maybe they were just looking for half-naked, teenage, lesbian pop stars...

2002-10-14 03:11:13 AM  
Why, oh why, is this not a PS?
2002-10-14 03:11:19 AM  

I know. Truth be known, I'd love to see it legalized for all, but it's probably not going to happen in my lifetime, or even my children's lifetime.

There might be a way to have things work out with regard to legalization of marijuana, but like I said, it's probably not going to happen in my/your/our lifetime(s).

Bummer, dude.
2002-10-14 03:11:57 AM  
oooh...i'm full of funny stories about various religious groups today...

a funny story about christian scientists:

i grew up in st. louis, missouri. there's a christian scientist college in elsah, illinois (across the river), and it's related high school in st. louis county, called the principia.

during my junior or senior year in high school, a measles outbreak happened at the principia. keep in mind, these are kids that were never immunized for anything, because of their parents' beliefs, and all of a sudden, you've got 30 or 40 kids coming down with measles.

there was a big debate over whether parents should vaccinate their kids so as not to get measles. i don't know how many did or didn't, but it was certainly a fun ethical discussion.
2002-10-14 03:12:43 AM  
How come these Christian scientists have never discovered anything cool? When's the last time you read an abstract in a scientific journal from a Christian scientist? Hmmmm?

Something's fishy.
2002-10-14 03:12:56 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-14 03:15:04 AM  
i'm thinking about starting a new religion where the main focus will be a weekly ritual sacrifice of either a statistician or census taker.

anyone interested?

we could branch out to phone-survey takers, too.
2002-10-14 03:16:31 AM  
oooh, Cliche_farker, how about telemarketers and media whores, too?

count me in.
2002-10-14 03:17:22 AM  
Well, that was a pointless map.

Love how there was no "Jewish" "Buddhist" "Atheist" etc. options charted.
2002-10-14 03:17:56 AM  
we can feed them to our holy flock of rabid animals. it'd have to be a BIG flock, though.
2002-10-14 03:18:08 AM  
They never asked me. LOL, JW's couldn't be counted as that is against their religion.
2002-10-14 03:22:54 AM  
is a picture charting the spread of ignorance around the u.s. really that 'interesting'???

hey Madchen ... what freaky shiat do mormons believe anyway??? just curious. we used to have a mormon at work, and he did hint and some odd beliefs ... never got anything out of him though.

christian science == oxymoron
religion == bullshiat
2002-10-14 03:23:00 AM  
All slack
[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-14 03:23:34 AM  
When "good" Mormons die they go to the planet Kolob. The Osmonds even made a record about it:

2002-10-14 03:25:11 AM  
Where's the flame war?
Where are the atheists calling theists morons?

Has Fark gone into the Twilight Zone?

2002-10-14 03:25:23 AM  
ooooohhhh also, Cliche_farker, count me in. Will there be nude sacrifices? Transfiguration of water into beer? Strip Bingo? Oreos as communion hosts?
2002-10-14 03:26:33 AM  
its really hard to pin down what the mormons believe, I dated one for almost a year and I still don't know.

I think they believe that after Jesus was crucified he came to the Americas and preached to the Native Americans or something like that, and left behind some other books to be included in the Bible - These books were later found by their prophet and added to their own version of the Bible. Now I'm really not sure what these books say, and beyond this my understanding of LDS becomes even more hazy, so I'm cuttin out now.
2002-10-14 03:26:35 AM  
don't the mormon women just have babies for all eternity after they die?

i always pictured it kinda like a nerf dart gun.

*pop* one baby...*pop* two babies...
2002-10-14 03:29:14 AM  
transfiguration of liquid of any type to either kegs of guinness or 40s of OE, mandatory nude sacrifices in the holy land of the empty parking lot at the local Kmart, and i approve of the oreos as communion.
2002-10-14 03:29:32 AM  
oh yeah, thats one thing I forgot
I think they believe that when they die, if they were good, they get their own planet with their family, which they then must populate - I think this is the reason they have such large families - because they place such a high emphasis on procreation. I don't know that for sure though, so don't quote me on it.

that being said, I think it is very irresponsible for a religion to advocate large families in a world as overpopulated as this one. But that's how you get those high membership numbers
2002-10-14 03:30:22 AM  

can we turn flour into cocain too?
2002-10-14 03:31:10 AM  
Cliche_farker: i always pictured it kinda like a nerf dart gun.

*pop* one baby...*pop* two babies...

Didn't that kinda happen in a South Park episode?
2002-10-14 03:33:09 AM  
[image from too old to be available] name is KEN--and I'm here to tell you that the Religious Landscape in the US is dead, as dead as the landscape of the moon.
2002-10-14 03:34:46 AM  
i dunno, AO, i thought it was just that one kid crawled back up into the womb. either way, it's still creepy.

only when you reach 8th level shaman elf-goat, reapercow. but the beauty is, in this religion, it's really easy to become an 8th level shaman elf-goat.
2002-10-14 03:38:09 AM  
Cliche_farker:i dunno, AO, i thought it was just that one kid crawled back up into the womb. either way, it's still creepy.

I think it was the Jackoffasaur(sp) episode. Maybe they're mormons?
2002-10-14 03:39:18 AM  
ReaperCow: You never did get to fark her, did you? =)
2002-10-14 03:42:13 AM  
I grew up in a town with a sizeable mormon community. The kids were nice but didn't fit in so well becuase their parents were so damn poor from having so many freakin' kids and they always wore a million hand-me-downs. And they wouldn't drink coke.
Anyway, I thought the babies thing was like this: There's all these unborn baby souls flying around, and it's your duty as a mormon to get preggo as many times as possible so that those souls will be raised mormon and get to go to heaven, instead of being born to a non-mormon and go to hell.
What I want to know is: I heard that in mormon heaven, black people won't be allowed in or something, and so until recently black people weren't even allowed to BE mormons. Can anyone verify that? I'm stoned and too lazy to do the research myself. Just typing this is very, very difficult.
2002-10-14 03:45:53 AM  
Yakkette, have you ever seen a black mormon? nope.

yeah, it's something about blackness being associated with hell or evil or something. at least that's what i remember being told.

other things that i hate about mormonism: the fact that the influence over the state of utah makes it so that the beer is only 3.2% alcohol. not that i drink beer to get drunk, but sometimes it's nice to get a buzz, at least.
2002-10-14 03:46:02 AM  
not quite, but man I came SO damn close. You have NO idea how much I would've loved to add a Mormon notch to my belt, but, you can't win em all. Still, I'm very happy about the little bits of corruption I was able to accomplish, even though it was paid for by WEEKS of enforced guilt (ugh)
2002-10-14 03:48:34 AM  
ReaperCow, i'm sorry. i, however, was lucky enough to deflower a virgin mormon. we only did it once, and boy did that screw him up. hehehehehe...

i'm sorry i'm ripping on mormons tonight. i just think there's something seriously messed up about mormonism.
2002-10-14 03:51:35 AM  
Misspudding - I concur, there is something a little off about that religion. I really can't put my finger on it though, its not like I hate them or anything, they're just so.... I dunno, wacky.

and just outta curiosity, and I know it aint my business but I'm going to ask anyway - Was it any good? - I mean, they're all so sexually repressed, I just don't see how it could be.
2002-10-14 03:52:19 AM  
they're the ones with the sacred underwear too, aren't they?
2002-10-14 03:55:26 AM

haven't read particularly about mormons yet, but this happens to be the least biased, most informed sight i've come across.
2002-10-14 03:57:22 AM  
Yeesh. Least they didn't mention the Scientologists. Now there's a scary religion. *Brushes off Thetans*
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