I call bullshiat.


I've lived in south Florida ever since just before Hurricane Andrew. We've had good streaks and bad streaks, and I'll tell you this:

The second anything stronger than a cabbage fart blows our way from the Atlantic, people PANIC. Gas stations go dry, grocery stores are emptied of nearly every item, and lines form at Home Depot like they were giving away farking Hannah Montana tickets with every box of Tap-Cons.

When the plywood runs out, people start buying everything to cover their windows, from plastic fencing to aluminum siding. All the wrong people buy up all the generators, whether to resell (aka GOUGE) them, or misuse them in their own home.

If a minor tropical storm hits and the power goes out for just overnight, I guarantee by sunrise that at least 20 nimrods have offed themselves by either leaving the generator on in the garage (Tom Smykowski suicide FTL), or their cookie-cutter, no land-having McMansion just got remodeled into a pile of ashes because in all the madness to get flashlights, they forgot batteries and decided to break out last year's Hanukkah candles.

On the other hand, if an actual hurricane hits (even just a CAT1), you can expect your local neighborhood to rapidly transform into the aborted twin of a 3rd world country. Live power lines lie in the streets while motorists get into accidents avoiding them because they couldn't resist breaking the "remain at home" orders so they could check out all the cool damage, and the emergency responders and their resources get drained even faster. Enjoy sitting in a 3 mile line of cars to get gas at a station that has no power or gas, but you're there so when they do open, you'll at least be 303rd on line. While sitting in your parked car (that's turned off so you can preserve the last fumes you have), you notice you're starting to get hungry, but no one is open. Have no fear, as the pizza chains have dispatched their loyal price gougers to the gas lines in order to sell you lousy pizza at double-price. Looking for an easier way to get gas? Don't worry, you'll run into several of your fellow community-conscious citizens when they drive up to your gas line and start offering to sell you the extra containers they have for $20-$50 a gallon.

My advice? Move away (which I'm in the stages of planning), or stay home with a fresh supply of water, crossworld puzzles, and hollow point bullets.

/all from actual experience
//I farking hate you, Florida