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(Yahoo)   80-year-old leader of Atlanta megachurch embroiled in sex scandal with his brother's wife. If only there were some religious book to let him know that this kind of thing is frowned upon   ( news.yahoo.com) divider line
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10129 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Nov 2007 at 10:30 PM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-11-19 07:51:31 PM  
Between the drought and all the religious scandals I'm getting tired of living here.
 
2007-11-19 08:24:59 PM  
He should have chosen to merely spill his seed upon the ground.
 
2007-11-19 08:27:27 PM  
*snickers*

+1 even thought his is already greenlit.
 
2007-11-19 08:49:50 PM  
I'm stunned that there would be any kind of corruption, moral or otherwise, in a megachurch. All the megachurches I've ever heard of are shining beacons of true faith, integrity, and people willing to sacrifice the temporary trappings of earthly excess in exchange for spiritual pureness and closeness to God.
 
2007-11-19 09:03:44 PM  
If I recall, I think there is some passage in the bible that says that if your brother can't make babies with his wife, then it's your duty to do it for him. I could be wrong, though.
 
2007-11-19 09:20:09 PM  
Uakronkid:

If I recall, I think there is some passage in the bible that says that if your brother can't make babies with his wife, then it's your duty to do it for him. I could be wrong, though.

The brother has to be dead.

.
 
2007-11-19 09:22:00 PM  
Uakronkid: If I recall, I think there is some passage in the bible that says that if your brother can't make babies with his wife, then it's your duty to do it for him. I could be wrong, though.

S'truth. The "sin of Onan" wasn't that he spilled his seed upon the ground, it's that he refused to impregnate his brother's wife.

On the other hand, you're not supposed to impregnate your brother's wife unless your brother is dead.
 
2007-11-19 10:29:26 PM  
Pocket Ninja: I'm stunned that there would be any kind of corruption, moral or otherwise, in a megachurch. All the megachurches I've ever heard of are shining beacons of true faith, integrity, and people willing to sacrifice the temporary trappings of earthly excess in exchange for spiritual pureness and closeness to God.

Yeah, pretty much everyone in a church regardless of size is corrupt in some way, shape or form. That's why us Christians do church - we admit we are and always will be sinners, that's why we need the forgivness that comes from God in the first place. If we didn't need it, then there wouldn't be a need for church at all.
 
2007-11-19 10:32:24 PM  
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?
 
2007-11-19 10:32:51 PM  
Therion

On the other hand, you're not supposed to impregnate your brother's wife unless your brother is dead.

So it's encouraging you to kill your brother and impregnate his wife? I gotta sit down and read that sometime
 
2007-11-19 10:33:44 PM  
Maybe he can't read Arabic submittard.
 
2007-11-19 10:34:19 PM  
For a moment, I thought the headline was mentioning a Megasex Church Scandal
 
2007-11-19 10:35:13 PM  
Actually, in certain circumstances, you're supposed to schtupp your brother's wife.

/Not in this one, though
 
2007-11-19 10:35:17 PM  
TheXerox: Yeah, pretty much everyone in a church regardless of size is corrupt in some way, shape or form. That's why us Christians do church - we admit we are and always will be sinners, that's why we need the forgiveness that comes from God in the first place. If we didn't need it, then there wouldn't be a need for church at all.

img233.imageshack.usView Full Size
 
2007-11-19 10:36:19 PM  
TheXerox
Yeah, pretty much everyone in a church regardless of size is corrupt in some way, shape or form. That's why us Christians do church - we admit we are and always will be sinners, that's why we need the forgivness that comes from God in the first place. If we didn't need it, then there wouldn't be a need for church at all.

Fixed
 
2007-11-19 10:36:27 PM  
Great, more fodder for haters. The flesh is weak.
 
2007-11-19 10:37:59 PM  
KrispyKritter: Great, more fodder for haters. The flesh is weak.

At least in this case the flesh was legal and of the opposite sex.
 
2007-11-19 10:38:48 PM  
How about Scientology's The Way to Happiness, as endorsed by SF mayor Newsom?
sfgate.comView Full Size

Oh wait, he didn't. (new window)
 
2007-11-19 10:39:47 PM  

I am not a priss, my brothers wife
There was a time when i thought that the longer
am I a slave to my mind oh. ahhhhhh
My brothers wife.
I know it's not right what Im thinking deniy me.
My brothers wife
I will always stay. My brother wife
I know. shh.
My brothers wife
I share the secret requests of the clown
there is no denying me.
I must have my brothers wifes breasts.
total babe. whats wrong?
My brothers wife and her car, her ass
I am in love with my brothers wife and her breasts
sadly i turn to the left and i see,
my brothers wifes breasts
I really must be off
Oh it hurts to laugh
my brothers wife, please help
no, no, no, not my brothers wifes breasts
oh god.
 
2007-11-19 10:40:12 PM  
She should've swallowed instead of wallowed.
 
2007-11-19 10:40:31 PM  
TheXerox: Pocket Ninja: I'm stunned that there would be any kind of corruption, moral or otherwise, in a megachurch. All the megachurches I've ever heard of are shining beacons of true faith, integrity, and people willing to sacrifice the temporary trappings of earthly excess in exchange for spiritual pureness and closeness to God.

Yeah, pretty much everyone in a church regardless of size is corrupt in some way, shape or form. That's why us Christians do church - we admit we are and always will be sinners, that's why we need the forgivness that comes from God in the first place. If we didn't need it, then there wouldn't be a need for church at all.


Still, I don't see how "megachurches" really convince people of anything other than believing in church. In my experience, they start to become ineffective on a personal level after about 500 people. Maybe it really does appeal to and reach some people, but I guess I'm just not one of them.
 
2007-11-19 10:42:01 PM  
Klivian 2007-11-19 10:32:51 PM So it's encouraging you to kill your brother and impregnate his wife? I gotta sit down and read that sometime

Well, technically, you're supposed to kill him by choking him with your cock. It's in Leviticus.
 
2007-11-19 10:42:48 PM  
are all fundie clergy corrupt?
 
2007-11-19 10:43:12 PM  
TheXerox: That's why us Christians do church - we admit we are and always will be sinners, that's why we need the forgivness that comes from God in the first place.

If you're nailing your brother's wife, wouldn't it be better to ask forgiveness from him than from the Hebrew tribal deity?
 
2007-11-19 10:43:53 PM  
Wrong, submitter.

The Bible is only a guide on how to tell other people what they can and can't do.
 
2007-11-19 10:43:58 PM  
extras.mnginteractive.comView Full Size



Unless he was doing Meth off a gay hookers soiled ass I'm not impressed!
 
2007-11-19 10:44:37 PM  
[image from theblacklibrary.com too old to be available]
 
2007-11-19 10:44:38 PM  
KrispyKritter 2007-11-19 10:36:27 PM
Great, more fodder for haters. The flesh is weak.


Yah, it's the haters' fault that this geezer couldn't keep his dong out of his sister-in-law, lol.
 
2007-11-19 10:45:12 PM  
pvcentre.agava.ruView Full Size


?
 
2007-11-19 10:46:19 PM  
deceptioninthechurch.comView Full Size


You see the face on the tv screen
Coming at you every sunday
See that face on the billboard
That man is me

On the cover of the magazine
There's no question why I'm smiling
You buy a piece of paradise
You buy a piece of me

I'll get you everything you wanted
I'll get you everything you need
Don't need to believe in hereafter
Just believe in me

Cos jesus he knows me
And he knows I'm right
I've been talking to jesus all my life
Oh yes he knows me
And he knows I'm right
And he's been telling me
Everything is alright

I believe in the family
With my ever loving wife beside me
But she don't know about my girlfriend
Or the man I met last night

Do you believe in god
Cos that's what I'm selling
And if you wanna get to heaven
I'll see you right

You won't even have to leave your house
Or get outta your chair
You don't even have to touch that dial
Cos I'm everywhere

And jesus he knows me
And he knows I'm right
I've been talking to jesus all my life
Oh yes he knows me
And he knows I'm right
Well he's been telling me
Everything's gonna be alright

Won't find me practising what I'm preaching
Won't find me making no sacrifice
But I can get you a pocketful of miracles
If you promise to be good, try to be nice
God will take good care of you
Just do as I say, don't do as I do

I'm counting my blessings,
I've found true happiness
Cos I'm getting richer, day by day
You can find me in the phone book,
Just call my toll free number
You can do it anyway you want
Just do it right away

There'll be no doubt in your mind
You'll believe everything I'm saying
If you wanna get closer to him
Get on your knees and start paying

Cos jesus he knows me
And he knows I'm right
I've been talking to jesus all my life
Oh yes he knows me
And he knows I'm right
Well he's been telling me
Everything's gonna be alright, alright

Jesus he knows me
Jesus he knows me, you know...
 
2007-11-19 10:46:39 PM  
I'm 80 years old and I can still keep it up, just can't get it in.
 
2007-11-19 10:48:18 PM  
KrispyKritter
Great, more fodder for haters. The flesh is weak.
Actually, the christianists do themselves in. I just sit back and point it out.
 
2007-11-19 10:49:03 PM  
0Icky0: TheXerox: That's why us Christians do church - we admit we are and always will be sinners, that's why we need the forgivness that comes from God in the first place.

If you're nailing your brother's wife, wouldn't it be better to ask forgiveness from him than from the Hebrew tribal deity?


Yes, the Bible (especially Jesus) encourages people to forgive others who have wronged them. That's one of the central points of the Sermon on the Mount. Along those same lines, the Bible also states that we are already forgiven by God via Christ's death on the cross and that all one needs to do is believe in it and they are forgiven.
 
2007-11-19 10:50:17 PM  
Hoboclown: Wrong, submitter.

The Bible is only a guide on how to tell other people what they can and can't do.


WINNAH.
 
2007-11-19 10:52:04 PM  
KrispyKritter: Great, more fodder for haters. The flesh is weak.

Yeah, those haters are real dicks for observing all the numerous times members of the clergy and other religious types find their cocks in inappropriate places. The flesh is weak, afterall.
 
2007-11-19 10:52:17 PM  
Once there was a preacher by the name of ted haggard
who stumbled from the path
or you might even say staggered...
he was one in a million
or more aptly one in ten...

some folks like to say he put the "men" in "amen"
 
2007-11-19 10:52:32 PM  
jonny_q: Still, I don't see how "megachurches" really convince people of anything other than believing in church. In my experience, they start to become ineffective on a personal level after about 500 people. Maybe it really does appeal to and reach some people, but I guess I'm just not one of them.

Yeah, I never been much for megachurches. The impersonal thing aside, I've always felt like they were just too focused on being on TV and, most likely, making money. To me, they're like a small, well-liked local business that has become a conglomerate monster and only cares about profits now.

/In other words, they're sellout churches.
 
2007-11-19 10:52:34 PM  
Well, that figures.
 
2007-11-19 10:55:54 PM  
"My uncle is 100 percent guilty, but his accusers are guilty as well," D.E. Paulk said, declining to talk further about the lawsuits."

Ummmm... he's not your uncle.

/anymore
 
2007-11-19 10:57:09 PM  
TheXerox: Yeah, pretty much everyone in a church regardless of size is corrupt in some way, shape or form. That's why us Christians do church - we admit we are and always will be sinners, that's why we need the forgivness that comes from God in the first place. If we didn't need it, then there wouldn't be a need for church at all.

Yessir!
 
2007-11-19 10:58:21 PM  
Most ministers are douche bags. I work at a hotel part-time when I'm not in class, and I loathe whenever we have large meetings of ministers, especially for black churches. Those guys are 9/10 times outright thieves from their congregations. I don't know how the fark a guy who is a professional minister can afford a new Cadillac unless he's fleecing his flock.
 
2007-11-19 10:59:10 PM  
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farm2.static.flickr.comView Full Size


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farm3.static.flickr.comView Full Size


Remember folks, your god is watching you
 
2007-11-19 11:00:05 PM  
huszar!: Most ministers are douche bags. I work at a hotel part-time when I'm not in class, and I loathe whenever we have large meetings of ministers, especially for black churches. Those guys are 9/10 times outright thieves from their congregations. I don't know how the fark a guy who is a professional minister can afford a new Cadillac unless he's fleecing his flock.

A good shepard can't let all that fleece go to waste.
 
2007-11-19 11:00:06 PM  
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size


By the way, REAL megachurches have gun towers and a perimeter wall.
 
2007-11-19 11:00:49 PM  
Megachurches are so bizarre and twisted they almost make me believe in endtimes.
 
2007-11-19 11:01:01 PM  
TheXerox: the Bible also states that we are already forgiven by God via Christ's death on the cross and that all one needs to do is believe in it and they are forgiven.

Wait, so he's dead then?
 
2007-11-19 11:01:42 PM  
Fireproof:
Yeah, I never been much for megachurches. The impersonal thing aside, I've always felt like they were just too focused on being on TV and, most likely, making money. To me, they're like a small, well-liked local business that has become a conglomerate monster and only cares about profits now.

/In other words, they're sellout churches.


Like Wal-Mart, but with crosses and stuff.

/I can has cheap religion?
 
2007-11-19 11:02:12 PM  
KrispyKritter: Great, more fodder for haters. The flesh is weak.
[image from blogs.denverpost.com too old to be available]
Leave Jesus alone! You should be glad he's even saving you!
 
2007-11-19 11:02:22 PM  
0Icky0: TheXerox: the Bible also states that we are already forgiven by God via Christ's death on the cross and that all one needs to do is believe in it and they are forgiven.

Wait, so he's dead then?


And he knew it was going to happen and didn't try to stop it, so technically he committed suicide.
 
2007-11-19 11:04:59 PM  
Mayor Bee: And he knew it was going to happen and didn't try to stop it, so technically he committed suicide.

Temporary
suicide. With a free trip to Big Rock Candy Mountain when he woke up.

Sacrifice? I don't think they know what that word means.
 
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