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(AZCentral)   Wanted: New man for Anna Nicole   ( azcentral.com) divider line
    More: Scary  
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10202 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Oct 2002 at 9:23 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

97 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-10-05 11:09:22 AM  
Really though, I wouldn't mind screwing her... out of about 88 million.
2002-10-05 11:11:34 AM  
I'd take Joan Rivers before I'd take Anna Nicole Smith...
2002-10-05 11:24:09 AM  
I saw an episode of her show...eatin' donuts and sleeping on the couch all day. and refusing to let her toothless cousin in the house
2002-10-05 11:35:03 AM  
I'll put her asss on a treadmill. Then I'll hit it and be rich. Get her back to her old weight and she is hot. Maybe I could convince her to become one of those people who like don't eat and when they do they barf. Then I'll hit it.
2002-10-05 11:38:22 AM  
Maybe not right after she pukes though.
2002-10-05 11:44:26 AM  
The only thing that would "hit it"

..Would be about 5 slugs from a shotty.
Then i'd hit all her money
2002-10-05 11:46:49 AM  
Having her appear on a blind date would be enough to make a guy switch sides.
2002-10-05 12:04:51 PM  
Why is no one mentioning the unspoken lesbian lover she keeps as a sidekick? I mean, why is see looking for a man when she can have her seafood salad lickey-split?
2002-10-05 12:23:06 PM  
I'd hit it, with the Ferrari she paid for.
2002-10-05 12:26:51 PM  
However the dude is he'll need the following:
Fork lift.
Concrete bed.
Ear plugs.
Ability to go blind on command.

Any thing else?
2002-10-05 12:29:25 PM  
Ewwwwie. I'd rather hit a cheese grater.
2002-10-05 12:41:39 PM  
Scraping, I'm with you on this one...she may be a bit (no wait, a great deal) on the portly side, but she also has large gobs of cash...maybe with some positive reinforcement and a healthy diet of pork ;) ;) she could lose some weight.
2002-10-05 12:41:47 PM  
I heard she's really interested in royalty. It's obvious because of her love for Burger King.

Anna Nicole's blood type is Hollandaise.
2002-10-05 12:44:13 PM  
Well ok time to get GROSE.
hehehe..I'd hit it in her big fat azz,then slap it on her
chiny chin chin,giggel and then leave in the Ferrari she
got me..;)

2002-10-05 12:49:57 PM  
some guy will probably hook up, and make her lose the weight. once the goal is accomplished, he'll end up with some hot and rich anna.
2002-10-05 12:50:31 PM  
If she actually gets the $$$ from the Hunt estate, I'd hit it.
2002-10-05 12:50:42 PM  
[image from unc.edu too old to be available]
2002-10-05 12:51:09 PM  
[image from members.home.nl too old to be available]

Found one! (mods delete previous post.)
2002-10-05 12:55:09 PM  
i'd do her.
then i'd put the pics on a website.. and you sickos would come look.. i know you would!
2002-10-05 12:55:34 PM  
is the pic big enough for all to see or what?
2002-10-05 01:10:54 PM  
The_USAF_sucks: yeah, of course we'd come look. But it would bring a new definition to "NSFW" though, where "W" is some word for "the human mind" which starts with W...
Now, I like chubby girls as much as all the rest of you secretly do, but man, ANS is fat, stupid, and utter trailer trash. The perfect person to have $83 mil. Why do we keep paying attention to her? Let her fade into Percodan-popping obscurity.

2002-10-05 01:20:14 PM  
Madvoodoo: Can u read? Check my 2nd post. It wasnt me who made it that big, whino.
2002-10-05 01:24:15 PM  
Wanted: New man for Anna Nicole

Sounds like a fair trade if they throw in a case of beer or something.
2002-10-05 01:48:51 PM  
Damn man i was only playen omg take a pill,lol
2002-10-05 01:50:55 PM  
watch out he will jump on you to..tisk tisk.
lol,realy i was only playen Danderzai,It's FARK
2002-10-05 02:29:05 PM  
id put her on a diet and her excercise would be making her run behind my ferrari i bought with her money, with britney spears in the front seat!
2002-10-05 02:54:14 PM  
I'd hit it after getting some lypo for her and siphoning some of her cash for me. Then I'd cheat on her with Victoria Silverstedt!
2002-10-05 02:57:37 PM  
I hate to say it ... but. If you go to fark.com, you probably couldn't even get Anna. It sucks to break it to everybody.
2002-10-05 03:02:32 PM  
Well, yes, Hilly. But that's only cause she's rich and famous and she can buy someone better.
2002-10-05 03:04:29 PM  
Also, I would hit it, but only in 1985.
2002-10-05 03:18:14 PM  
not with a ten foot clown pole
2002-10-05 03:36:18 PM  
"High. Im ana nikole smith an i am dum az dirt. that is ok thow, becuz i like ditr. it is under evrywon an we need it to walk."
2002-10-05 04:03:22 PM  
Great posts, everyone! Haw haw haw!

I was watching her show the other night for the first time. Her white trash cousin showed up from Texas, and gawddam, that woman was tru-u-u-u-ue trash!

No teeth, most likely from run-off from all the coke she snorted dissolving them into brown paste.

Showing off some roadside trinket with the birthstones of all five of her "babies" - like she deserves to breed!

Oh, shiat, and then before they dropped her off at her hovel - err, hotel, she asked to borrow five bucks - I would have asked for a grand or ten!

In other words, a walking, talking Darwin Award waiting to happen.

As far as Ms Smith herself, I'd probably date her, but only for the MONEY! And if she'd want sex, she'd have to have hanging on the walls a bunch of pics of herself before she became a blonde mastadon so I could have something to look at.

2002-10-05 04:07:50 PM  
Oh yeah, and I'd give 'er a Dirty Sanchez, too.
2002-10-05 04:20:31 PM  
Anne Nicole? I'd rather hit my own MOTHER.
2002-10-05 04:28:04 PM  
Roseanne- Old and busted.

Anna Nicole Smith- New fatness.
2002-10-05 07:37:35 PM  

[image from glist.com too old to be available]
wil [TotalFark]
2002-10-05 08:45:28 PM  
wil [TotalFark]
2002-10-05 08:46:11 PM  

Now with correct img linking:

[image from biology.ucsc.edu too old to be available]
2002-10-05 09:02:40 PM  
Jeez Wil, Keiko's got enough problems without you comparing her to that, um, thing.

In other news, that dorsal fin represents the state of my phallus when thinking of her.
2002-10-05 09:18:13 PM  
someone should turn her on to speed- she can afford it
2002-10-05 10:34:08 PM  
Aww Wil,

I would think you of all people would be sympathetic to her plight...

Surely you know what it's like to encounter public derision because you're in the limelight.

So she's overweight, and chronically doped up, and a gold-digger, and seemingly not the sharpest knife in the drawer, and kind of "white-trash-y," and without any visible talent other than donut inhalation and formerly impressive cleavage.

Disregarding these little "quirks," I'm sure she's an absolutely wonderful person who is completely deserving of international fame and an 80+ million dollar fortune.

You guys should be ashamed of yourselves.(tsk, tsk, picking on poor "little" Anna like that...)
2002-10-06 12:05:26 AM  
I wonder where the mustard guy is when ya need him? He'd probably hit it.
2002-10-06 12:10:42 AM  
Crikey mate,
Too late Keiko's obviously already seen her show. How else do you explain his flaccid dorsal fin?
2002-10-06 12:33:11 AM  
As the Truthslayer, I will take one for the team and hit it. 'Tis a far better thing I do for my fellow farkers. I do have a few requests before I pass on:

I wish for a day of Fark with nothing but good Boobies links.

I wish common sense and sanity would be standard in the world.

I wish for a pic of FLA_Chickie,WickedWanda, and Candypants along with any other hot farkettes so as to make my last days happy.

I want to play GTA:VC at least once.
I want to thank Drew for his humanitarian website.

but first,
I need a Jack Daniels IV STAT, a will, and someone to slap me silly for even thinking such a thing. Sorry, I'll pass. I got it...how about I go look for landmines? Hey, losing a limb is much better than rolling her in flour and aiming for the wet spot...she might prefer I then dip her in a deep fat fryer to a crispy golden brown.

Sadly, she minds me of the Slappy the Squirrel episode with Siskel and Ebert and how the popcorn was buttered...
2002-10-06 05:01:38 AM  
I have to say I'm against you all on this one: I'd hit the shiat out of it at least three times a day (not including weekends). i guess it's just me, but I've got a thing for drugged-out biatches who used to be hot, but have since let themselves go. I think it's like having a preference for cold leftovers on a paper plate in the morning, over an elaborate dinner the night before.
Admit it: when Mariah Carey was in the looney bin, didn't she just somehow become that much more appealing?
2002-10-06 02:52:13 PM  
Beppo. You are a sick fark.
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