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(Some Guy)   Caption rock legend Robert Plant and Jessica Simpson's meeting of the minds   (i.realone.com) divider line
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22815 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Oct 2007 at 7:47 AM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-10-23 01:00:45 AM  
A perm and a few big ol' doobs, and you'll look just like me.
 
2007-10-23 01:08:06 AM  
RP: So the I pinned the tail on the donkey....

JS: Wow, that's really down to earth
 
2007-10-23 01:09:28 AM  
"Squeeze my lemon 'til the juice runs down my leg"
 
2007-10-23 01:09:37 AM  
RP: Remember dear, no teeth, like this.
JS: duuur, ok, won't I need to open my mouth wider?
 
2007-10-23 01:18:07 AM  
RP: "...so then Bonzo's stuffing her twat full of fish, like this..."

JS: "Really. Uh huh. Wow. Is your guitarist, Jim Morrison, going to be here tonight?"
 
2007-10-23 01:19:14 AM  
JS: So like, what do they make at the robert plant?

RP: I don't know/what she's been sayin'
This big boobed woman ain't got no brain
 
2007-10-23 01:32:17 AM  
Tommy Lee hissed it you, he said something, what did he say?
 
2007-10-23 01:39:50 AM  
RP: I grew up in Worcestershire.

JS: I slept with Lea and Perrins.
 
2007-10-23 04:01:19 AM  
At 900 years old, look as good, you will not.
 
2007-10-23 05:02:10 AM  
"why do your boobs look this small in real life?"
 
2007-10-23 06:03:06 AM  
RP: "So they said we'd crash, but we didn't. And the rest is history."

JS: "Oooh. That is so interesting. But you shoulda fired them anyway for misspelling it, doncha think?"
 
2007-10-23 07:56:10 AM  
RP: You blew the guy, to get past security's IQ check?

JS: I blew two.
 
2007-10-23 07:56:56 AM  
RP: "...and that is why we breathe."

JS: "Duh. What?"
 
2007-10-23 07:59:56 AM  
RP: Buzz Buzz Buzz...
JS: If you would like to make a call, please hang up...

//Hard to make busy signal and wrong number noises in teh intrawebs
 
2007-10-23 08:03:04 AM  
RP: "Just be quiet and walk away"
 
2007-10-23 08:07:33 AM  
JS: Were you really in The Beatles?
 
2007-10-23 08:07:41 AM  
Be a dear and raise your tit to my hand... my arthritis is settin' in.
 
2007-10-23 08:10:48 AM  
"like, omg, tell me more about music in the olden days"

or:

"you guys actually sang and played instruments?"
 
2007-10-23 08:11:13 AM  
RP: Have u seen my joint?
JS: Its in your hand
RP: No its not
JS: Your other hand!
 
2007-10-23 08:12:20 AM  
RP: "You are one of the biggest no talent ass clowns I have ever seen lip sync to a song that was written by a 40 year man about his obsession with 15 year old boys."

JS: Huh...I use pro active solution!
 
2007-10-23 08:14:20 AM  
I pinch.

I like to pinch.

Why no pinch?

Just a little pinch.
 
2007-10-23 08:24:03 AM  
Tell me another story grampa
 
2007-10-23 08:31:19 AM  
No no no..it's FA LA LA LA LA..not Fa rah rah shish boom bah.
 
2007-10-23 08:32:49 AM  
Invisible flute!
 
2007-10-23 08:34:44 AM  
JS: How do you do that hair???

RP: Little by liiiiiiitle....
 
2007-10-23 08:36:20 AM  
Hey babe, I'm your real father. Too bad, 'cause DAMN what a pair of tig ol' bitties you got there.
 
2007-10-23 08:36:21 AM  
Plant: "The mic was plugged into a P.A. right at the end...like this"


Simpson: "Ooooh, I've been to Pittsburgh! SQUEAL!"
 
2007-10-23 08:39:19 AM  
RP: "... and just like that, he was gone. Was the saddest day of my life."

JS: *giggle* "You talk funny."
 
2007-10-23 08:41:23 AM  
RP: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
 
2007-10-23 08:43:15 AM  
img341.imageshack.usView Full Size
 
2007-10-23 08:44:38 AM  
RP: No wonder you and Nick broke up if his schlong was only this big
 
2007-10-23 08:49:55 AM  
JS: Sure I go ass to mouth

RP: Hold'an let me visualize it, luv
 
2007-10-23 08:55:16 AM  
When trouble comes along you must ZIPIT!
 
2007-10-23 08:58:01 AM  
RP: So I says to Jimmy, so I says to Jimmy, so I says to Jimmy ...

JS: Wow. Like he's so deep.
 
2007-10-23 08:59:22 AM  
JS: I'm over here.
RP: No, I'm talking to the other Jessica...where'd she go?
JS: Are you stoned?
RP: Well, in precise terms, I could go duck hunting with a rake. Hey, she's back...no wait.
 
2007-10-23 09:09:12 AM  
"Are you OK?"
"I'm fine love, it's just the stool softener kicking in."
 
2007-10-23 09:10:53 AM  
Plant:SHUT IT!
 
2007-10-23 09:11:37 AM  
RP: "So, we can see that the quintessential form of your music is really just this silly little riff I made up for my kid to get the little brat to shut up. Actually, it was something we made up on the bus, but found completely unsuitable for general listening audiences."

JS: "Did you see "The Dukes of Hazzard"?

RP: "You win."
 
2007-10-23 09:12:11 AM  
Oh my Jesus
 
2007-10-23 09:15:47 AM  
JS: Wheren't you in Whitesnake?
RP: You're brain is this big... No wait... This big...
 
2007-10-23 09:17:51 AM  
RP: You know what, Jessica? You have zero talent, and do not belong in the music industry. You can't have a music legacy. Not yours.
 
2007-10-23 09:23:02 AM  
D'yer mak'r?
 
2007-10-23 09:23:29 AM  
Jessica Simpson:

A good friend of mine, that is like so totally, like, smart told me how to fix all the world's, like, problems. I totally believe every word of what she said. I personally believe the U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh...people out there in our nation don't have maps, and, uh, I believe that our education like such as South Africa and, uh, the Iraq everywhere like, such as and...I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., err, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries....

Robert Plant:

Your brain is this big. I hate you.
 
2007-10-23 09:29:38 AM  
RP: "You see, only the spirit matters - the crude materials of the universe is just an extension of, what I call, the Universal Mind. Our physical being is only a shadow irreflection of what the mind projects."

JS: "I love that one song ya'll do, 'Call me the Breeze' or some junk, do you know the piano player?"
 
2007-10-23 09:33:46 AM  
RP: I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there. If you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I wanna be on you. Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait." Look, I, errr, um, Buttseckz?
 
2007-10-23 09:34:34 AM  
"Caption rock legend Robert Plant and Jessica Simpson's meeting of the minds."

We've progressed to the Zen Koan school of reporting. "What is the sound of two vacuums coliding?"
 
2007-10-23 09:35:54 AM  
RP: I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science.
JS: I will have you know that I have more talent and more intelligence in my little finger than you do in your entire body, sir.
RP: You are a smelly pirate hooker.
JS: You look like a blueberry.
RP: Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island?
JS: Well, you have bad hair.

/obvious?
 
2007-10-23 09:47:46 AM  
RP: Now, this is how you make real music. You get somebody on drums, somebody on guitar, somebody on bass, and your vocals fit in there somewhere. No, computer-generated sounds and effects aren't used, although keyboards are OK.
JS: But why would I need a base? What sound does that make? Do I just bang on the thing?
RP: No not 'base' like you put a sculpture on, 'bass'. You know, spelled like Lance Bass?
JS: But fish don't make music.
RP: You really are a dimwit, aren't you?
JS: I thought a plant was, you know, a plant.
 
2007-10-23 09:48:11 AM  
Here's me, air-conducting the London Symphony.
 
2007-10-23 09:53:18 AM  
JS: And why do people say you're famous?
RP: I'm a Plant. And you're not even as smart as one.
 
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