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(AZCentral)   Man invents odorless toilets - tries to take all the fun out of pooping   ( divider line
    More: Unlikely  
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7240 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Oct 2002 at 2:45 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

333 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-10-01 05:45:47 PM  
Here's another on. My girlfriend was mentioning how large hers were. (and no, she's like most women, and USUALLY won't discus anything like this) Anyhow, she says "I just dropped a canoe"

So now we always say "I'm goin canoeing"

*hopes his girlfriend doesn't read this thread*
2002-10-01 05:45:57 PM  
My wife always likes when I say "taking a gnarly dupe".

Good stuff.
2002-10-01 05:46:40 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Our Div-O would say, "So long Chief have a nice sea tour."
2002-10-01 05:47:09 PM  
Oh yeah, one more thing. There is a site called RateMyPoo that some of you may want to check out. I remember it came about after the whole "hot or not" thing happened.
2002-10-01 05:55:24 PM  
- Time to liberate the alien
- Facilitating the great escape
2002-10-01 06:02:27 PM  
Q: What's brown and lives in the attic?

A: The Diarrhea of Anne Frank!
2002-10-01 06:07:03 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-01 06:09:01 PM  
You guys have missed one of the best pre-poops....
Wait, I'll be right back. Got a gopher peakin...
2002-10-01 06:11:14 PM  

A standard toilet now retails for about $150 although prices can vary.

The Vancouver company's dual-purpose version will cost about $175, not including labour costs, to have it installed.

dual purpose? you mean we have to pay 25$ for 1 AND 2? :p
2002-10-01 06:55:34 PM  
I am so goddamn tired of having to take a shiat everytime I'm in the middle of something. I can't wait until I evolve into a gaseous form so that I don't have to shiat through a physical body.
2002-10-01 07:06:43 PM  
*huf *puff - the ship's too big, if I walk - the movie will be over

what did I miss and why are there so many posts here?
2002-10-01 07:13:53 PM  
Everyone go take some Pepto-Bismol, 'go see a man about a dog', then come back and tell me how freaked out you were.
2002-10-01 07:30:48 PM  
dropping off the Cosby Kids at the pool

pinching an icky stick

paintin' the town brown

got a cigar at the tip of my lips
2002-10-01 07:38:07 PM  
This site is a must-see if you enjoy this thread.
2002-10-01 07:49:34 PM  
Dammit, I love fark:):):)
2002-10-01 08:11:45 PM  
Here's a thing i read on a toilet wall:

Sitting here in stinky vapor
Waiting for some toilet paper
How much longer must I linger
Before I'm forced to use my finger ?

Found it kinda funny...
2002-10-01 08:23:33 PM  
Signing my pants?
2002-10-01 08:25:13 PM  
There was a linked site from Fark a few weeks ago:

When you have to go and you're on the road & stop at a fast food place; it's a McShiat.

If a pimply teen tells you that only customers can use the facilities and you tell him/her you will buy something and don't; it's a McShiat with lies.
2002-10-01 08:33:21 PM  
Dropping a stink pickle
2002-10-01 08:35:36 PM  
(Next to the toilet paper roll in a UMR bathroom): "UMR diplomas--take one"

Misspudding You would probably agree ;)
2002-10-01 09:30:52 PM  
"Don't you people have anything better to do?
I'm a limo' driver and I work my arse off. I've already had to drop the President off at the White House three times today."
2002-10-01 09:46:42 PM  
"I have to perform an exorcism on myself"
That's the one I use...
2002-10-01 09:59:08 PM  
me and a friend of mine both worked at wal-mart as cart pushers... (and no, we didnt have the machine, one of us would be at back pushing, the other at front steering) and we start talking about leaving work to go home to we would wait for a slow down and go to my house to "man the battle stations" i would get my dad's bathroom and he would have the hall bathroom. we would lay such tremedous dumps the house would damn near catch fire...then we would go back to work...ALL on the clock...farkin walmart.
2002-10-01 11:09:15 PM  
GHOST POOPIE: The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.

CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

WET POOPIE: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with stains.

SECOND WAVE POOPIE: This happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to poopie some more.

POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD POOPIE: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

LINCOLN LOG POOPIE: The kind of poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

GASSY POOPIE: It's so noisy, that everyone within earshot is giggling.

DRINKER'S POOPIE: The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

CORN POOPIE: Self explanatory.

GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-POOPIE POOPIE: The kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

SPINAL TAP POOPIE: That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.

WET CHEEKS POOPIE (The Power Dump): The kind that comes out so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.

THE DANGLING POOPIE: This poopie refuses to drop in the toilet even though you are done poopie-ing it. You just hope that a shake or two will cut it loose.

THE SURPRISE POOPIE: You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you are about to fart, but *oops* --- a poopie!
2002-10-01 11:47:26 PM  
don't you hate that kind of poop where it's gonna be one of those lincoln logs (as described above) but for whatever reason you tense up and thus cut off the turd right towards the end? so that there's a little prune sized thing still stuck up your butt? so then you gotta decide if you wanna risk poppin a vein in your head trying to get that last piece out or just closin yer sphincter up and go the rest of the day knowing that there's a little piece of poo still in your butt?

i hate when that happens.

and ghost poopie is real! well not really, it just slides down into the water trap, out of view. but i'm sure that's happened to everyone at least once.
2002-10-02 12:01:12 AM  
Why hasnt "Got a chunk on deck that could choke a donkey" appeared yet?
"Stunk so bad dropped a 200lb momma black bear at 100 yards." eeewwww thread combining, cool!!
"Gotta see a man about a horse."
"Gotta go visit the blue man."
"Gotta go sink the Toilet Duck!"
"Time to capsize Elian's raft!"

2002-10-02 12:05:10 AM  
Military reference:

Giving birth to a West Pointer

Class 3 download

geneva convention violation

If the Iraqis saw that one, they'd think we were giants.
2002-10-02 01:16:42 AM  
A late euphemism:

Doing the truffle shuffle.
2002-10-02 04:49:32 AM  
I have to make the poop thread the most looked at one today.
2002-10-02 04:50:42 AM  
My Father's in the air force
My brother's in the marines.
My Sister's on the toilet,
bombin' submarines.
2002-10-02 09:17:44 AM  
Hmmmmm.... the number of posts to the forum currently totals (pi). The number of this forum is 314967.... that's a pi-esque number... 3.14159 etc.

My fave euphemism of the moment: Cleveland Steamer (thanks to the D)

Man, what a bunch of fecalphiliacs/coprophiliacs... I guess I shouldn't be surprised we're all still fascinated by bodily functions. Paging Dr. Freud.

And the scatological humor continues...
2002-10-02 11:24:15 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-02 11:32:08 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
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