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(Guardian)   "Nightclubs are hell. What's cool or fun about a thumping, sweaty dungeon full of posing idiots?"   (guardian.co.uk) divider line
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18464 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Aug 2007 at 8:44 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2007-08-12 8:43:25 PM  
OH MY GOD! THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO LIKE THINGS THAT I DON'T ENJOY! IT'S ALMOST AS IF DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT IDEAS OF WHAT CONSTITUTES FUN THAN I DO!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE???!!?!?!
 
2007-08-12 8:47:51 PM  
I agree with Pocket Ninja's sarcasm.
 
2007-08-12 8:48:18 PM  
Pocket Ninja: OH MY GOD! THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO LIKE THINGS THAT I DON'T ENJOY! IT'S ALMOST AS IF DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT IDEAS OF WHAT CONSTITUTES FUN THAN I DO!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE???!!?!?!

This.
 
2007-08-12 8:48:44 PM  
You can mock it all you want, but most clubs are disgusting places where most of the people are devoid of any intelligence and reason.

I mean, you have BEEN to one right?
 
2007-08-12 8:48:45 PM  
indeed.
 
2007-08-12 8:48:48 PM  
That guy would've had a much better time had he drank a little a lot.
 
2007-08-12 8:49:08 PM  
I am a hipster doofus.
 
2007-08-12 8:49:43 PM  
Sounds like high school. Or at least my experience of it.

/grown-up geek
 
2007-08-12 8:50:18 PM  
Ha, Icy Hot Stuntaz are posers.
(what kind of name is that anyways?)
 
2007-08-12 8:50:25 PM  
Pocket Ninja: OH MY GOD! THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO LIKE THINGS THAT I DON'T ENJOY! IT'S ALMOST AS IF DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT IDEAS OF WHAT CONSTITUTES FUN THAN I DO!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE???!!?!?!

As much as this is true, I still can't wrap my head around why someone would pay money to get in, and pay more for drinks than a normal bar.
 
2007-08-12 8:50:28 PM  
What's cool or fun about a thumping, sweaty dungeon full of posing idiots?

Or as we call it here in America, "work."
 
2007-08-12 8:50:37 PM  
ImpromptuRhymes: That guy would've had a much better time had he drank a little a lot.

or ecstasy

/sweet sweet ecstasy
 
2007-08-12 8:50:37 PM  
Obviously you've never tried E.
 
2007-08-12 8:51:03 PM  
I've never been to one, and don't feel like I've missed anything.
 
2007-08-12 8:51:11 PM  
Holy crap, did this guy ever nail it.
 
2007-08-12 8:51:14 PM  
Sounds like no one would dance with a certain article writer.
 
2007-08-12 8:51:45 PM  
[image from student.valpo.edu too old to be available]
 
2007-08-12 8:51:47 PM  
I love Guitar Hero.
 
2007-08-12 8:52:05 PM  
veryequiped: Hot girls in Clubbing attire. Anyone opposed can stay the fark home, more girls for me.

Meh, I'll take hot girls in normal clothing that drink beer and can hold up their end of a conversation.

/to each their own
 
2007-08-12 8:52:24 PM  
rockonthenet.com
 
2007-08-12 8:52:44 PM  
veryequiped: Hot girls in Clubbing attire. Anyone opposed can stay the fark home, more girlSTDs for me.

FTFY.

I'll go pick up club skanks once they invent a steel condom.
 
2007-08-12 8:52:47 PM  
As I read that, the tune that popped into my head was the Dead Milkmen's "You'll Dance to Anything". I used to request that at clubs and watch posers get snitty as it played.
 
2007-08-12 8:53:00 PM  
veryequiped: Hot girls in Clubbing attire. Anyone opposed can stay the fark home, more girls for me.

That was the only upside to the one time I went to a club. Only upside. And yes, I was drinking.
 
2007-08-12 8:53:13 PM  
Ha, La Bouche is mouth in French... I think.
 
2007-08-12 8:53:19 PM  
ImpromptuRhymes: That guy would've had a much better time had he drank a little a lot.

At a crowded night club? Good farking luck. Hope you don't mind waiting in line for ten minutes to get a drink, or if you are lucky to have a waitress, ten minutes for her to bring you one. Even if you are two fisting, no way are you going to get drunk in a crowded night club.
 
2007-08-12 8:53:21 PM  
SuperKusoKao: Guitar Hero is for losers, and I hate everyone that has ever played the game.
 
2007-08-12 8:53:29 PM  
I hate clubs. I see the appeal, but it's just not my bag. I'd rather go to a mostly deserted dive bar and shoot pool with close friends.

Of course, I went to clubs a lot more back before I had a serious girlfriend. Even then, I hated clubs. I usually ended up leaving and going somewhere I could hear myself think (the local biker bar).
 
2007-08-12 8:53:35 PM  
I think he's pretty much right except there's for all of that hatred. Just don't go to clubs if you don't like them, it's easy enough.
 
2007-08-12 8:54:29 PM  
geocities.comView Full Size
 
2007-08-12 8:54:31 PM  
I like this guys way of thinking. My reasons for staying away from nightclubs are basically the same; I want to hear Metal, not thumping top 40. I don't want to meet skanks and self absorbed idiots, which the few times I went to clubs when I turned 21 thats all I ever saw.

/ill pass on the clubs
 
2007-08-12 8:54:42 PM  
papercut: Guitar Hero is for losers, and I hate everyone that has ever played the game.

So
 
2007-08-12 8:55:07 PM  
Philo_T_Farnsworth: ImpromptuRhymes: That guy would've had a much better time had he drank a little a lot.

At a crowded night club? Good farking luck. Hope you don't mind waiting in line for ten minutes to get a drink, or if you are lucky to have a waitress, ten minutes for her to bring you one. Even if you are two fisting, no way are you going to get drunk in a crowded night club.


Hello, flask-strapped-to-leg!
 
2007-08-12 8:55:45 PM  
But a glamorous friend of mine was there ...

I doubt it...
 
2007-08-12 8:56:07 PM  
i16.tinypic.comView Full Size


I wonder how many people who don't like clubs have actually been to a good one?
 
2007-08-12 8:56:09 PM  
ZOMG!!

GUIDO THREAD!!!!!
 
2007-08-12 8:56:15 PM  
FTA: This leads them to believe they "enjoy" clubbing. They don't. No one does. They just enjoy drugs.

To be fair, the article does address the E and drink argument. Further, it's british.
 
2007-08-12 8:56:41 PM  
And since the smoking ban, the masking aroma of cigarette smoke has been replaced by the overbearing stench of crotch sweat and hair wax.

Awesome.
 
2007-08-12 8:56:49 PM  
bitter much?
 
2007-08-12 8:56:53 PM  
If your job is to go around and inspect - and possibly shut down for violations - new dance venues, can you get a T-shirt that reads:

I SEAL BABY CLUBS

?
 
2007-08-12 8:57:01 PM  
I came to the same conclusion the first time I stepped into a nightclub, back in the stone ages. Everyone is faking everyone else out.

Remember Damone's rule for picking up chicks: Wherever you are, act like that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?"
 
2007-08-12 8:57:56 PM  
Clubs are OK. It's like one big gathering of sluts. I like sluts. I like to make romance explosion on their stomachs.
 
2007-08-12 8:58:04 PM  
As I read that, I imagined Tim from The Office sitting around looking unhappy in Chasers.
 
2007-08-12 8:58:05 PM  
$10 beers. What's not to love?
 
2007-08-12 8:58:07 PM  
Preaching to the choir.
 
2007-08-12 8:58:34 PM  
I love his fatalistic approach to what he sees as the worlds demise.

"Mind you, since in about 20 years' time these same people will be standing waist-deep in skeletons, in an arid postnooclear wasteland, clubbing each other to death in a fight for the last remaining glass of water, perhaps they're wise to enjoy these carefree moments while they last. Even if they're only pretending."
 
2007-08-12 8:59:08 PM  
papercut: Guitar Hero is for losers, and I hate everyone that has ever played the game.

I second you motion- Beatmania is where it's at! Fark 5 keys, man, play some IIDX Double- 14 keys and 2 tables!

gamerevolution.comView Full Size


[image from content.answers.com too old to be available]

 
2007-08-12 8:59:14 PM  
studebaker hoch: I wonder how many people who don't like clubs have actually been to a good one?

That's more like a rave.
uhn tiss uhn tisss tissss

/obligatory
 
2007-08-12 9:00:02 PM  
the next six seconds is a real-life simulation of what it's like being in a club, for those who don't go.

BOOM siss BOOM sissBOOM siss BOOM sissBOOM siss BOOM sissBOOM siss BOOM sissBOOM siss BOOM sissBOOM siss BOOM sissBOOM siss BOOM sissBOOM siss BOOM sissBOOM siss BOOM sissBOOM siss BOOM sissBOOM siss BOOM sissBOOM siss BOOM siss

what do you MEAN, 13 dollars for a seven-and-seven?

BOOM siss BOOM sissBOOM siss BOOM sissBOOM siss BOOM sissBOOM siss BOOM sissBOOM siss BOOM sissBOOM siss BOOM sissBOOM siss BOOM sissBOOM siss BOOM sissBOOM siss BOOM sissBOOM siss BOOM sissBOOM siss BOOM sissBOOM siss BOOM siss
 
2007-08-12 9:00:07 PM  
Reminds me of the ol joke;

If video games we played as kids had really been bad for us we'd all be hanging around in dark rooms with loud, repetitive music blasting popping pills.

/E makes everything fun, not just clubs.
//I miss being a young fool.
 
2007-08-12 9:00:10 PM  
ImpromptuRhymes:

Hello, flask-strapped-to-leg!


If you can get drunk from a four ounce flask, more power to you. And good luck sneaking something bigger in.
 
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