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(The Tennessean)   If you were ever curious about how many shovel-hits it takes to kill a deer, the Tennessean has an article for you   (tennessean.com) divider line
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8641 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jun 2007 at 8:48 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2007-06-24 5:02:54 AM  
 
2007-06-24 5:32:56 AM  
Deer have very thick skulls. One night I came across a friend that had hit a deer with his truck. The deer was still alive though it had a broken back and was suffering. All I had was an ax in the back of my car. So, if the question was the back side of an ax and not shovel, the answer is about 7 or 8. I cant imagine trying with a shovel.
 
2007-06-24 5:56:04 AM  
For ease of use, let's say LaChanz needed 7.5 whacks with the backside of an axe. The article states that it took 13 hits with the shovel. Thus we can conclude that...

Backside of an Axe (BooA) = 7.5
Shovel (S) = 13

S/BooA=...

:: carries the one ::

1.733333333

So the backside of an axe is nearly 75% more powerful than a shovel

QED
 
2007-06-24 5:58:24 AM  
Damn, I screwed up BoaA in both places. I should have stuck with Backside of Axe (BoA). My Sunday has barely started and it's already chock full o' failure.
 
2007-06-24 6:05:29 AM  
Hal B. Sure: The article states that it took 13 hits with the shovel.


And a hit with a sledgehammer for the final blow.
 
2007-06-24 6:07:23 AM  
Damn, another variable.

Math is hard, maybe I'll go bake some Rice Krispee squares for the boys instead.
 
2007-06-24 7:44:05 AM  
TFA: "He said he would have to fill out a long report if he shot it," Kueny said.

Words fail me. Why didn't he just shoot it?
 
2007-06-24 8:53:03 AM  
pandabear: Why didn't he just shoot it?

Let's see...

Ton of paperwork or let animal suffer? Hmmm....

Self-absorbed asshole.
 
2007-06-24 8:53:56 AM  
"She asked Holloway to shoot the animal. According to Kueny, he said he couldn't.

"He said he would have to fill out a long report if he shot it," Kueny said."


This will be my defense next time I catch the eye of a cop: "Sure, you can do a background check on me and yada yada yada, but do you reaaly want to fill out all that paperwork?"

 
2007-06-24 9:03:34 AM  
I love how two of the first three comments on the site found a way to blame liberals for the whole thing.
 
2007-06-24 9:04:29 AM  
For once I completely agree with the cop.

He called his supervisor and noted it wasn't a safe situation to fire his weapon.

The last thing we need is Clint Eastwood out there looking for any excuse to bust a few caps. This guy obviously felt it wasn't safe for anyone or reasonable to let the bullets fly. That's fine, I'm sorry the deer had to go like it did but at least we know the cop had the PEOPLE'S best interest in mind.

Like it or not firing your police revolver isn't like going out back and shooting some cans with your .22 -- it's considered a big deal and I'm glad they've stigmatized the cops to be extremely considerate of the choice to use it.
 
2007-06-24 9:26:13 AM  
It's too bad that the 4 or 5 men didn't do anything humane for the woman who called.

Fark equality, us wymmins are too weak to do anything.
 
2007-06-24 9:30:47 AM  
Shovel hits needed to kill a deer: 13
Logs (thrown) needed to kill a 300 lb bear: 1

what?
 
2007-06-24 9:31:12 AM  
Take a lesson from farmers and veterans who's spent time in trenches - shovels work best when sharpened. No need to bash the poor creature's head in, just a determined stab to the neck.
 
2007-06-24 9:33:59 AM  
Proudly brought to you by: The committee to lobby for a Tennessee tag on FARK.
 
2007-06-24 9:39:20 AM  
The driver called out a maintenance worker who typically removes dead animals from the roadway.

Deer: "I'm not dead yet! I'm getting better!"
*Whack!*
 
2007-06-24 9:44:57 AM  
"Shortly before, Kueny watched the deer plunge from a freeway overpass near West End Avenue."

The deer was obviously depressed. Just hand it the gun and let it finish what it tried to do by jumping off the overpass.
 
2007-06-24 9:47:21 AM  
snatchbeast

It's too bad that the 4 or 5 men didn't do anything humane for the woman who called.

Would you prefer that they beat her with a shovel too?
 
2007-06-24 9:52:28 AM  
I certainly know how many S-10's it takes to kill a deer.
 
2007-06-24 9:55:43 AM  
The real question here is, who gets the venison for supper?
 
2007-06-24 9:56:32 AM  
For ease of use, let's say LaChanz needed 7.5 whacks with the backside of an axe. The article states that it took 13 hits with the shovel. Thus we can conclude that...
Backside of an Axe (BooA) = 7.5
Shovel (S) = 13
S/BooA=...
:: carries the one ::
1.733333333
So the backside of an axe is nearly 75% more powerful than a shovel


You might be overthinking the bludgeoning of an animal...
 
2007-06-24 9:57:59 AM  
praxis44241: You might be overthinking the bludgeoning of an animal...


OK, tenderized venison.
 
2007-06-24 10:10:56 AM  
The flip side: The cop shoots deer, for whatever reason, the bullet hits something else, a person, for example. Cops are notoriously bad shots, anyway. Then, it becomes a huge investigation, etc etc etc etc.

Or, some minivan full of kids and a hypersensitve mom happens to be oozing by in traffic while the cop's there shooting.

Etc etc etc.

For once, I can't actually blame the cop for not wanting to do this. He'd be facing a lot of questions back at the precint, plus all the other wrath.

Should have just thrown the deer's head on the shoulder and backed the truck over it a few times.

Then again, WTF's so bad about wacking a deer with a shovel? We do it to rats all the time and nobody cares....
 
2007-06-24 10:13:25 AM  
My cousin once hit a deer while driving his 1968 Mustang. The deer flew up in the air, landed where the windshield meets the roof, and promptly gave birth all over his hood.

Mom deer wandered to the shoulder and died...deer fetus wriggled but said nothing.


/true story
// Bradford, PA
///circa 1974
////gtf off my lawn
 
2007-06-24 10:17:19 AM  
Who cares? It's just a deer.
 
2007-06-24 10:25:13 AM  
People would be really pissed if they knew what hunters do when they get a gut shot instead of a lethal kill.

People should be really pissed that we lay out sticky traps for rats so they can slowly starve to death.

/hypocrites
 
2007-06-24 10:25:59 AM  
While whacking the deer to death with a shovel isn't the optimal way to humanely finish it off, it's preferable to leaving it sitting there slowly dying of internal wounds, which was what was happening before the shovel guys showed up. I'm sure they did all 12 strikes fairly quickly - it's not like they hit it once, waited a minute, hit it again, and so on.
 
2007-06-24 10:29:05 AM  
praxis44241, I'm not over thinking it, I'm just trying to find the most effective tool to use during my upcoming baby seal hunt.
 
2007-06-24 11:00:51 AM  
i192.photobucket.comView Full Size


/took about an hour
//why do you ask?
 
2007-06-24 11:07:55 AM  
She ought to have flagged down the next passing pickup and asked the guy to shoot it with his CCW or hunting rifle. Or the responders ought to have; 4 or 5 Tennessee men failing to figure out how to efficiently kill a deer is Fail of epic proportions.
 
2007-06-24 11:26:30 AM  
chamblin
that was the first thing i thought of when i read the headline.


/thank you very much
//you are a gentleman and a scholar
 
2007-06-24 11:28:39 AM  
Maybe one of the dudes was waiting for her to leave so he could get hims some "dying quivers" roadside action. Shy maybe.
 
2007-06-24 11:39:13 AM  
Hal B Sure I'm not over thinking it, I'm just trying to find the most effective tool to use during my upcoming baby seal hunt.

It is an honor and a privilege to have the Vice President post on our humble website, Mr Cheney sir.
 
2007-06-24 11:43:56 AM  
FLAWLES REASONING:
"hmmm, let's see, shovel or sledge hammer... let's go with the shovel and if that doesn't work we'll try the more powerful hammer."
 
2007-06-24 11:58:01 AM  
Like I said earlier, Tennessee & Texas, the hanging turds of amurica.
 
2007-06-24 12:00:18 PM  
Take it from someone who has actually clubbed seals, the hakapick
club with long spike) kills with 1 head shot. A rifle bullet to the head is more commonly used now, with the same effect. My family have been trappers since we came to north america thousands of years ago, suck it PETA and all you pansy ass animal welfare types.
 
2007-06-24 12:07:32 PM  
Not sure how you judge somebody that names them self "pumpsnatch." One of the dicks of America? Not a swinging dick, just a dick.
 
2007-06-24 12:35:04 PM  
legacylive.comView Full Size


Amateurs should never be sent to do the job of glam metal.

/hey, at least it didn't take 40 whacks
 
2007-06-24 12:44:10 PM  
[image from myfilestash.com too old to be available]

Gussie Fink-Nottle
Hal B Sure
 
2007-06-24 12:46:48 PM  
Hal B Sure, form is really more important than equipment. You could probably uses a 7-iron in pretty much all situations.

[image from filer.case.edu too old to be available]
 
2007-06-24 12:48:12 PM  
Isn't this the same "newspaper" that's been running the Tennessee Center For Policy Research's press releases over Al Gore's house as "news stories" in recent months? You know, the "think tank" that is run out of an apartment next to a private Christian university?

Yeah, I thought so.
 
2007-06-24 12:48:25 PM  
[image from filer.case.edu too old to be available]

/sort of relevant
 
2007-06-24 12:57:19 PM  
For everyone that can't seem to figure out why common sense didn't prevail and end the creatures suffering: Today's society doesn't reward common sense, only blindly following the multitude of laws that directly (or even indirectly) cover the situation.

Police have to be responsible for each and every round fired while on duty, who knows, if he would've shot it then some asshat PETA idiot might've cried that the deer could've been taken to a vet and nursed back to health (all at the taxpayer's expense of course).

Anyone with a CCW license (including myself) avoids contact with police for any reason because you never know if this is one of the good cops that obeys the laws himself or one of the bad cops that happens to disagree with the idea of law-abiding citizens defending themselves, and then finds any reason (or plants a reason in your car for you if none can be found) to haul you to jail.

Shovels are cheap, don't require reloading, no 10-day waiting period to buy one and are commonly available at any decent store. So the deer suffered a bit more, too bad, misery likes company.

/misery likes a-lot-o-company
//going to go buy a new shovel for my truck
/// too bad I can't afford the gas to drive it anymore
 
2007-06-24 1:22:23 PM  
Boo hoo. Someone killed a deer. Oh no, cry cry cry.
The poor thing, it was suffering. Won't someone think of the cute critters?

Christ, i am getting so sick of pussies who cry over injured animals. If it were me, i would have used 25 blows with a brick instead of 13 with the shovel.
 
2007-06-24 1:29:47 PM  
So, if the question was the back side of an ax and not shovel, the answer is about 7 or 8. I cant imagine trying with a shovel.

Perhaps the front of the ax would have been more effective?
 
2007-06-24 1:33:32 PM  
This is reason #3725 why we should have a Tennessee tag.
 
2007-06-24 1:50:55 PM  
"If it were me, i would have used 25 blows with a brick instead of 13 with the shovel."

Yeah, but you're a simpleton, everyone knows how strong tards get when they get worked up.
 
2007-06-24 1:53:27 PM  
Deer are harder to kill than you might think.

/Once killed a deer with a road flare
//killed another deer by dumping a Beta-C into it (full auto) with police permission
 
2007-06-24 1:59:25 PM  
I killed three deer at the same time with a 280ZX.

Amateurs!
 
2007-06-24 2:07:03 PM  
Ran into a deer with my 85 Cutlass Serria. Damn deer ran away after that. Tried to keep track of it so I could get a roadkill permit for it. (yes Indiana has (or had) roadkill permits).

/One of my only 2 deer stories (the other invovles the untimely death of a squirrel)
//Cletus McGhee: Would Al Gore be Reason #1 for a Tennennesee Tag?
 
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