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(Some Guy)   Dear atheists: Don't worry--Chuck Norris is not going to be elected president and tattoo "In God We Trust" on your foreheads. No one would be dumb enough to elect an actor for president, right?   (worldnetdaily.com) divider line
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3533 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 11 Jun 2007 at 7:30 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



51 Comments     (+0 »)


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Dingfod
2007-06-11 5:48:29 PM  
Not one as dumb as Chuck Norris. Oh, wait a minute...... Nevermind.
 
SuperCleary
2007-06-11 6:16:33 PM  
insert long list of chuck norris facts here
 
lordargent
2007-06-11 6:17:47 PM  
Chuck Norris wouldn't tattoo "In God We Trust" on your forehead.

He would brand "property of Chuck Norris" on your ass.
 
Slappy the Noodle
2007-06-11 6:21:27 PM  
I don't think he'd make a very good president with that platform.
 
FlyingPig
2007-06-11 6:39:33 PM  
What an asshole.
 
Mugato [TotalFark]
2007-06-11 7:04:52 PM  
I think he lost his mind around the time that dickhead rewrote all those Bill Brasky jokes for him.
 
dletter
2007-06-11 7:22:23 PM  
Baretta was right in the '70s, "Don't do the crime, if you can't do the time. Don't do it!"
cbc.caView Full Size


Really, quoting that guy?
 
Wabash
2007-06-11 7:29:29 PM  
Why does Chuck Norris hate the Constitution?
 
JesusKnowsKungFu
2007-06-11 7:33:03 PM  
It is kinda funny how he single handedly crushed an entire internet fad with his craziness.
 
InternetLOL
2007-06-11 7:34:35 PM  
Create new immigration legislation: to deport all liberals (then force them to listen to Bill O' Reilly every day for five years, at which point they may return).

I listen to Bill O'Reilly every day. It's just comforting to hear that much hatred and stupidity coming out of the talking box at my back.
 
deadsanta
2007-06-11 7:35:58 PM  
Resurrect Bruce Lee and appoint him head of homeland security (OK, the CIA and FBI too).


OK, I lol'd.
 
xtigerr
2007-06-11 7:36:34 PM  
You got my vote Chuck! Great list.
 
Hunter7795
2007-06-11 7:39:58 PM  
What a dick.
 
PC LOAD LETTER [TotalFark]
2007-06-11 7:43:19 PM  
Dear Chuck,

Chuck rhymes with "suck" which is what your movies did.

Seriously, you are trying to be funny, you get some good lines in, but anyone who thinks O'Reilly is someone that should be listened for erudite opinions fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Way to kill your meme on the internet. Please fade into obscurity. Oh wait, you already did.
 
Hoboclown
2007-06-11 7:49:45 PM  
Haha, I can't believe people are taking him so seriously.

He was JOKING.
 
PATS0707
2007-06-11 7:55:09 PM  
Reaganomics?
 
gODDhead
2007-06-11 8:00:48 PM  
Fark Chuck.
 
PC LOAD LETTER [TotalFark]
2007-06-11 8:02:19 PM  
Hoboclown: He was JOKING.

Sort of.
 
Slappy the Noodle
2007-06-11 8:06:19 PM  
Hoboclown
Haha, I can't believe people are taking him so seriously.

He was JOKING.

Clearly, you haven't read any of his other WorldNetDaily posts. He's trying to be funny, sure, but he's not "joking" in the sense that you advocate.
 
fenrael23
2007-06-11 8:11:19 PM  
Chuck Norris has always sucked. I never understood the whole internet meme thing. Oh well. Ricardo Montalban could totally kick his ass.
 
Manfred J. Hattan
2007-06-11 8:18:26 PM  
"Clearly, you haven't read any of his other WorldNetDaily posts. He's trying to be funny, sure, but he's not "joking" in the sense that you advocate."

Oh, come on. It seems like he is (belatedly, as Jesus upthread points out) getting a sense of humor about his internet status. Granted, it wasn't exactly Richard Prior-level material, or even Mark Russell, but can you admit at least that it's a big tradeup from the "Don't fear me, fear Jesus" thing he had going on?

/atheist
//No forehead tattoo, yet
 
Manfred J. Hattan
2007-06-11 8:20:07 PM  
Pryor, even.
 
ck1938
2007-06-11 8:35:11 PM  
The SCARY tag? Subby needs to grow a pair. I don't care if you're a chick or undergoing treatments to become one, that's just pathetic.
 
Krymore
2007-06-11 8:41:43 PM  
i165.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
Bat_Freak
2007-06-11 8:46:11 PM  
Chuck... You've gone mental.

Walken for President.
 
462
2007-06-11 8:51:45 PM  
Hey, remember that time Bruce Lee TOTALLY kicked chuck's ass? Yeah, me too.
 
Martstar
2007-06-11 8:54:46 PM  
You know what, Chuck? You don't need to be President to attempt to single-handedly try to take out bin Laden with a roundhouse kick. Go give it a try, and let us know how that works out for you, m'kay?

/I never was a big fan of the guy, but I never realized how big of an asshat he was until Fark started linking to his blog once in awhile.
 
mediaho
2007-06-11 9:10:03 PM  
Chuck Norris vs. Hitler (p)
 
Henry_Chinaski
2007-06-11 9:14:09 PM  
Who told Chuck Norris he could write? Constant italics piss me off.
 
mitchcumpstein
2007-06-11 9:22:46 PM  
Would that make our chief export pain?

Oh wait, it already is.
 
blueviking
2007-06-11 9:40:17 PM  
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits....

Chuck Norris can cure cancer with his tears, too bad he never cries...

And so on and so forth, ad infinitum...
 
WayneBuckwheat
2007-06-11 9:46:19 PM  
Everybody here is as stupidass as Norris, just won't admit it.

//Dumb farkers!
//Oh, wait thats............YOU!
 
TheCid
2007-06-11 10:01:25 PM  
A special tattoo just for a certain class of beliefs regarding religion?

Where have I seen this before?
 
vdantev
2007-06-11 10:15:24 PM  
Jaggoff...
 
grxymkjbn
2007-06-11 10:36:45 PM  
I was told that I looked like Chuck Norris. I promptly did everything I could to change my appearance.
 
I Like Bread
2007-06-11 10:43:46 PM  
Oh well, at least we still have Bob Ross facts...

- Bob Ross quit yoga because he found it too stressful.
- Life imitates art. Before Bob Ross, there was only one tree.
- Bob Ross's shows are never taped. He paints them in real-time.
- Bob Ross once painted the sky. A priest feared that constant rain would wash the magnificent painting away, so he hired a bum off the street to paint a recreation of it on his chapel's ceiling. That bum was Michaelangelo.
- Bob Ross is an endangered wildlife conservationist. He houses a small family of bald eagles in his afro.
- Bob Ross did not die. He achieved a state of ultimate relaxation.
 
oregoncat
2007-06-11 10:52:54 PM  
[image from bumpertalk.com too old to be available]
 
wooden_nickel
2007-06-11 11:31:19 PM  
"oh yeah, well then who's president of the United States in 1985?"
"thats easy, Ronald Reagan"
"Ronald Reagan the actor? yea right..."

/marty mcfly
//classic.
 
LordZorch
2007-06-12 12:35:38 AM  
Looks like I'd have to kick his ass.....
 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark]
2007-06-12 12:43:08 AM  
Norris couldn't write that much. You would have to be smart to write that much stuff. Since he's not smart, probably someone else wrote it, and he just thought it was funny.

Especially since Bruce Lee killed him in "Return of the Dragon." Chuck may have forgotten about that one.
 
Highroller48
2007-06-12 1:30:24 AM  
Nothing to worry about. We would merely have to summon the only man on Earth who could kick Chuck Norris' ass...

img256.imageshack.usView Full Size


...just as soon as he's finished his Royale with cheese, motherfarker!
 
semiotix
2007-06-12 1:41:18 AM  
TheCid: A special tattoo just for a certain class of beliefs regarding religion?

Where have I seen this before?

You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear...

But seriously, this should be fun. The irresistible force of the Chuck Norris meme vs. the immovable object of screechy internet atheism.

/I'm an atheist too
//not the kind that treats it like a religion, though
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2007-06-12 2:53:16 AM  
I thought I was beyond surprise/shock at the general rush to slam anything and everything ever posted here, not to mention the overall/general arrogance, snottiness, condescension, PC Nazism, rudeness, tendency to take things WAY too seriously and, as aforementioned, screechy atheism in Fark threads.

But I was wrong. Here in this very thread are a whole collection of asses so monumentally tight that I would say, a la Ferris Bueller, that if you shoved coals up them their respective owners would shiat diamonds.

Except that these asses are the black holes of tight. So tight, in fact, that Chuck Norris himself could not kick coals up them.

Get the fark OVER yourselves already.
 
LoHung_Dong
2007-06-12 8:42:55 AM  
Highroller48,

It's not a Royale w/cheese, he'd have to be in Amsterdam for that.

It's a Big Kahuna burger. But thanks for trying.
 
Brentnsndr
2007-06-12 2:14:14 PM  
Well, i just have to say this:

I'm an atheist and if getting the American flag and "In God We Trust" tattooed on my forehead meant bringing our troops home immediately, i'd be at the ink shop right now.

Anyways, the whole thing is a joke. Atheists getting upset over this are in the same camp as the Catholic Church that was upset with the movie Dogma.
 
Batewoman
2007-06-12 3:11:36 PM  
Brentnsndr: I'm an atheist and if getting the American flag and "In God We Trust" tattooed on my forehead meant bringing our troops home immediately, i'd be at the ink shop right now.

Anyways, the whole thing is a joke. Atheists getting upset over this are in the same camp as the Catholic Church that was upset with the movie Dogma.

This.
 
lumberjackbreakfast
2007-06-12 5:56:18 PM  
When Chuck Norris jumps on an intarweb fad, he fills every tube with his potent man juice.
 
homarjr
2007-06-12 6:39:07 PM  
Wait, that was ACTUALLY Chuck Norris????

I was reading that the whole time thinking it was some 10 year old still in love with Chuck Norris jokes. And he was awful at them too.

Wow. Just wow.

/Wow.
 
Highroller48
2007-06-12 10:07:21 PM  
LoHung_Dong: Highroller48,

It's not a Royale w/cheese, he'd have to be in Amsterdam for that.

It's a Big Kahuna burger. But thanks for trying.

Actually, according to the line in the film, he'd have to be in PARIS.

But thanks for trying.

/You fail at teh intertoobz
 
Chinchillazilla
2007-06-14 6:22:43 AM  
ck1938: The SCARY tag? Subby needs to grow a pair. I don't care if you're a chick or undergoing treatments to become one, that's just pathetic.

Er, actually it is rather scary to think about the fact that there are probably a good chunk of people who'd like to do just that to atheists. If not worse.

/atheist
 
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