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(Some Guy)   The U.S. Post Office announces that if you have a large envelope that is square, they will deliver it only if it is also rectangular. If it isn't, it will be impossible to deliver. Everybody got that?   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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19842 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 May 2007 at 7:36 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

115 Comments     (+0 »)

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2007-05-14 3:30:18 PM
2007-05-14 3:38:27 PM  
I think they were just clarifying that squares count, since they are currently increased postage?

Why in the world were you on that webpage?
2007-05-14 3:43:48 PM  
Squares, which are by nature rectangles, are now also required to be retangular.
2007-05-14 4:24:57 PM  
all squares == rectangles
all rectangles != squares
2007-05-14 4:48:50 PM  
Most of my mailings are > 1 oz so I'm getting a kick out of these threads
2007-05-14 5:38:27 PM  
2007-05-14 5:42:30 PM  
What's the girth?
Uhh... Four?
Four what?

[image from too old to be available]
2007-05-14 6:09:42 PM  

All large envelopes (flats) will be required to be rectangular in shape. This includes square pieces.

Simply put, large envelopes must not be triangles, circles, trapezoids, etc. Four right angles each.
2007-05-14 7:39:42 PM  
Qermaq: Four right angles each.

not 5 right angles?
2007-05-14 7:40:33 PM  
The Post Office: we don't care. We don't have to.

/Government monopolies rule.
2007-05-14 7:41:20 PM  
OH GOD! What am I gonna do? All my mail is currently sent out in circular envelopes!
2007-05-14 7:42:29 PM  
What about e-mail?

2007-05-14 7:43:15 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

^This should be a tag for Fark. It's on the home page.
2007-05-14 7:44:13 PM  
dudeirock5: This should be a tag for Fark. It's on the home page.

I'm a doofus, it's on the home page for the site that subby linked
2007-05-14 7:45:16 PM  
Subby, as many places on the net where this same story can be found, you had to pick this one?

[image from too old to be available]
2007-05-14 7:45:20 PM  
Not all squares are rectangular.
There I said it.
2007-05-14 7:45:44 PM  
You too.
2007-05-14 7:45:54 PM  
he goes to that website for the hotties.
2007-05-14 7:46:26 PM  
That webpage had everything but dancing hamsters on it.
2007-05-14 7:46:52 PM  

2007-05-14 7:46:54 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

2007-05-14 7:47:06 PM  
You read through that whole thing and paid enough attention to find that, yet not enough attention to figure it out?

//will donate extra right angles to the post office for people who can't afford four
2007-05-14 7:47:31 PM  
Let me know when I can block junk mail and I'll give a shiat about the US Postal Service.
2007-05-14 7:50:19 PM  
kraut raises a great point. how, oh great farkers, do I stop the junk mail?
2007-05-14 7:51:34 PM  
Nice! poorjon

I still have problems with them to deliver my junk mail in regular envelopes. Attention mail carrier: My address starts with a 4 and not a 5. Quit giving me the mail that begins with a 5 and start giving me my mail. Thanks. We are both rather tired of delivering each others mail which is your simple daily task.
2007-05-14 7:53:33 PM  
"It's hip to be square"
2007-05-14 7:57:00 PM  
OK, serious question. I've looked at several sites, and still don't know.

If I'm sending a Tyvek envelope of 10"x 13", do I pay regular first class rates? I see references to a new category of "flats" but the only rates I can find for flats is a discount rate for pre-sorted mail.
2007-05-14 7:57:31 PM  
I love the roses. Nice web design. Retro.
2007-05-14 7:57:54 PM  
You're all gay!
2007-05-14 7:58:05 PM  
From that website:

The Guest Book is to be used at your discretion.
You may ask questions, leave comments, or speak your opinion. The Effective Service Committee is here to help you.
The Possibilities Are Endless!
2007-05-14 7:58:09 PM  
I had a crap load of stuff to mail on Saturday thinking I could just mail them on monday now can i mail the saturday mail monday for saturday charges or would the monday mandate mean more money for the moochers at the usps?
2007-05-14 7:58:32 PM  

My wife's watching the Sabres game and I'm giggling like a schoolgirl at my laptop. Something feels wrong about this.
2007-05-14 7:58:53 PM  
BigDumbGuy Thanks. We are both rather tired of delivering each others mail which is your simple daily task.

I'm laughing, because a year ago I rented a P.O. Box for my business. I was getting mail for the guy who had it last, including his credit card statements. I stood in line a couple of times, handed back the mail, and endured the series of questions they ask you every farking time. Yes, that is my P.O. Box. No, that is not my name. Now, I am getting mail for four people and three other companies. I throw it away.
2007-05-14 8:00:23 PM  
That webpage is the epitome of everything wrong with webpages pre-2000.

/And even today.
//Especially considering Myspace.
2007-05-14 8:01:54 PM  

Be thankful that's the only problem you have with your post office.

Mine has completely lost or stolen two packages of mine. Another time, I mailed a package to Sweden that arrived six weeks late (I paid for 4-7 day shipping) bearing a stamp of "Mis-sent to Bangkok, Thailand." Yet another time, my express package ended up *inside someone else's package*. Luckily the recipient of said package was honest enough to call and re-mail the package on to its rightful recipient.

My post office displays levels of incompetence that continue to amaze me. Even for government employees, they set the bar high.
2007-05-14 8:02:40 PM  
My god! that is a horrible website.
2007-05-14 8:03:24 PM  
Umm why the link to the not hot women. just use this:

cut n' paste cuz I'm outta here.
2007-05-14 8:05:02 PM  
After having dealt with Chicago's hellish postal service for years, I am so happy that Albany's post offices are quick, efficient, and actually nice at the desks at several locations.

Also, I'm within the Capitol loop for pickup, so everything I send out gets delivered super-fast.
2007-05-14 8:05:11 PM  
You'll get over it
2007-05-14 8:05:44 PM  
That web page looks like it is straight out of 1998.

It burned my eyes.

How the heck did you find it?
2007-05-14 8:09:39 PM  
This would explain why...
I've been trapped in your heart shaped box for...
oh, never mind

//no, really.
2007-05-14 8:12:52 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2007-05-14 8:13:58 PM  
I used to work for one of the big shipping companies and so I'm getting a kick out of these replies....

This is an unfortunate but not unexpected turn of events. The commercial carriers have been doing this sort of rate calculation based on a dozen specifics about the package for years, and it gets complex.

The business logic to calculate the rate for a package at the company I worked for was this huge, unweildy thing that had grown by accretion for years... It's one of their biggest ongoing development projects. Let's hope USPS does it a bit more cleanly.

Still, it's not surprising that USPS has started getting more persnickety about calculating rates. For example, what do you do with the guy who wants to ship 10 pounds of foam peanuts cross country? It only weighs 10 pounds, but takes up half of a package car.
2007-05-14 8:14:04 PM  
So wait a minute...

I actually popped by the post office late at night on Saturday to mail a letter. I put a 39 cent stamp on it. It probably didn't get picked up until this morning, when the correct postage would have been 41 cents.

WTF. Anyone care to wager as to whether my letter gets delivered or not?

/it was to the IRS. Fark em if they have to wait.
2007-05-14 8:14:31 PM  
Couldn't we all have just gotten this off the USPS policies page instead of a blog? It's kinda all right there, y'know.
2007-05-14 8:16:59 PM  
The Dixie Flatline: Now, I am getting mail for four people and three other companies. I throw it away.

That is what I do with the junk mail I get for the other family and I am sure they do the same for me. I cannot throw away their credit card statements, etc. and I hope they don't throw mine away.

Sum Dum Gai I sent a Christmas postcard to family in the Philippines. In June I got a an e-mail asking why I took so long to send a card. Someone also keeps steeling my Netflix DVD's to the point that I have to beg them to keep my account open every time I don't get one.
2007-05-14 8:17:08 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

/thanks ishkur
2007-05-14 8:19:54 PM  
That's not all the USPS farked up today... I work for an internet software company (so I'm really getting a kick outta these replies... etc.) and we interface with the drooling retards' "software" to get real-time rates. Well, after telling us that the rate change would not affect us, they b0rked all up their international rates and now I got 2,000 screaming customers. And an emergency software update tomorrow night at midnight.

Thanks USPS!
2007-05-14 8:20:37 PM  

What does that mean? And why are the highlights at the BOTTOM of the page? Isn't this information people would want first?
2007-05-14 8:22:13 PM  

Sabres suck. Ray Emery could take all of them.

/that's the only comment I found interesting.
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