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(CNN)   Secret to board-member success? Kissing ass and getting rug burns on your knees   (money.cnn.com) divider line
    More: Obvious  
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10403 clicks; posted to Main » and Business » on 01 May 2007 at 4:14 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



20 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2007-05-01 2:23:31 AM  
Pucker up you harvard business grad princes of Maine & kings of New England.
 
2007-05-01 2:42:42 AM  
The most sought-after corporate board members are those who curry favor with fellow directors, not those who are active in standing up for shareholders, a new academic study has concluded.

You needed to fund a study to figure that one out? I could have told you that in 5 minutes and all it would have cost you was a cup of coffee.
 
2007-05-01 3:31:01 AM  
We had one of those ass kissers in the office. Got him a set of knee pads for birthday. I think he got the hint.
 
2007-05-01 4:19:32 AM  
This study is a bit late. I think there was a Regurgitator song about this back in like '95.
 
2007-05-01 4:21:05 AM  
You forgot back-stabbing your friends and farking your buddy.
 
2007-05-01 4:38:02 AM  
nobozo - Pucker up you harvard business grad princes of Maine & kings of New England

Cider House RULEZ!!!!
 
2007-05-01 4:40:06 AM  
FTFA: "The study also concluded that board members who are women or ethnic minorities are rewarded significantly less than white male directors when they try to ingratiate themselves with peer directors "and are punished more for any given level of monitoring and control behavior." "

Cleavage and Uncle Tomming get you no where these days I guess.
 
2007-05-01 4:41:11 AM  
Sometimes you also have to get a little rugburn on your back as well.
 
2007-05-01 4:41:38 AM  
Scott Adams has a funny parable in "The Way of the Weasel".

"Glass Ceiling

Now I'm going to blaze a trail into politically incorrect territory, displaying a death wish even more intense than in the first part of this chapter. I begin with a thought experiment. Imagine two individuals who have identical talent and experience. They are both presented with the goal of running to the top of a mountain. The only difference between them is that one desperately wants to get to the top of the mountain (because he thinks it will help him get sex later) and the other would be happier complaining about snakes. Which of these two people is more likely to make it to the top first?

Answer 1 think we can all agree that the person with the strongest incentive to get to the top of the mountain will get there first, all other things being equal.

Now consider men and women and their careers. (Here it comes.) The "correct" viewpoint is that men and women have equal talent but women are prevented from getting to the top of the corporate mountain by the "glass ceiling" of discrimination. I have to confess that the "correct" viewpoint seems a bit dodgy to me. I agree that discrimination is part of the story, but I think there's something else going on here too.

To set the stage for my elegant point, let's enjoy another wonderful analogy that's more relevant to the business world. Imagine a man and a woman of equal talent who enter an ass‑kissing contest. They walk into a huge airplane hangar that has a line of overweight, middle‑aged men bending over and dropping their pants to present their rumps for kissing. The winner of the contest‑the one who can make it the farthest down the line without quitting‑becomes the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. At this point the woman will organize a committee to talk about the glass ceiling while the man is about halfway down the line, kissing every cheek and slipping his business card in every crack. Years later a survey will show that all CEOs of major companies are men. The conclusion will be that discrimination prevented women from climbing the corporate ladder."
 
2007-05-01 5:00:37 AM  
technicolor-misfit: damn skippy - a great flick from better Irving novel

(and it's Harvard - no diss intended anyone)
 
2007-05-01 5:33:34 AM  
avanti
We had one of those ass kissers in the office. Got him a set of knee pads for birthday. I think he got the hint.

I did the exact same thing some years ago, but it was for christmas. Went over like a lead balloon. He filed a harassment complaint, but it went nowhere.
 
2007-05-01 6:16:44 AM  
Remember this the next time a Harvard grad runs for President...
 
2007-05-01 7:09:40 AM  
Why, all business these days is just a series of blowjobs.

/not even close to obscure.
 
2007-05-01 8:18:32 AM  
I am shocked. I thought it was done with metrics and by measuring goals and outcomes and promoting people on talent.
 
2007-05-01 9:32:03 AM  
I would love to see Roger Mertz's list of "very aggressive directors;" butt, I suppose it would lead to less business as he is a "corporate lawyer who advises boards of directors," likely about ways to creatively skirt the law and defeat shareholder initiatives. I certainly can't find "aggressive directors" (except with respect to their own perks) in the (few) stockholder meeting announcements I receive. The cookie-cutter text is "the board recommends for" of all of its proposals, and "the board recommends against" every shareholder proposal. At any rate, the situation is, usefully, "on the record" in the "Academy of Management Journal"
 
2007-05-01 9:43:36 AM  
Only in the boards? How about any management or executive postion?
 
2007-05-01 9:58:43 AM  
Jamieboy: Went over like a lead balloon.

You're saying this like this outcome was a surprise.
 
2007-05-01 10:23:14 AM  
Warren Buffett, in his recent Berkshire-Hathaway commentary, said the same thing: "Everybody wants me on their board of directors. But nobody wants me on the compensation committee."

As for Dubya's CD: I am shocked. I thought it was done with metrics and by measuring goals and outcomes and promoting people on talent.

I realize that you were being satiric but in a grad school management strategy class one day, some idiot used that line. Half the class -- the group that was working at real jobs during the day -- roared with laughter. The n00bs who were straight out of undergrad school were on the side of the guy who made that statement: How can markets be efficient if it isn't true! The prof was a retired IBM exec: I think he was dumbfounded that half his students were so naive.

There's a quote from a newspaper publisher that I don't have at hand but it is something like: "I'm a product of two great American traditions: nepotism and monopoly."

/Maroon.
 
2007-05-01 11:41:04 AM  
Once an ass kissing bastard, always an ass kissing bastard.
Nine out of ten ass kissing bastards prefer other ass kissing bastards.

And the worst part of it is that the largest shareholders are now funds of various sorts. They are extremely careful not to rock the boat so as to affect stock prices and open themselves up to criticism. So the BoD's are left to the usual gang of idiots, aka ass kissing bastards.
 
2007-05-01 12:17:21 PM  
Omnivorous
The n00bs who were straight out of undergrad school were on the side of the guy who made that statement: How can markets be efficient if it isn't true!

Duh! By Six Sigma!
 
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