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(Contra Costa Times)   And today's Incoherent Headline Award goes to: "Zach Who? Steals Show Johnson Doesn't Blink Despite Tiger"   (contracostatimes.com) divider line
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6628 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Apr 2007 at 5:03 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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smooshie
2007-04-09 2:21:35 PM  
Was the pricipal handstandsing?
 
Slim Pickens
2007-04-09 2:22:47 PM  
My johnson can only wink. But he can wink for eight hours.
 
MacEnvy [OhFark]
2007-04-09 2:24:51 PM  
There's nothing like the journalistic greatness that comes out of local news sites.
 
MUCHWYZA
2007-04-09 2:29:57 PM  
Makes perfect sense to me.
 
MUCHWYZA
2007-04-09 2:31:13 PM  
But then, I'm old school Canada and I knew a guy named Joe Who?.
 
further
2007-04-09 2:36:13 PM  
Reminds me of that commercial with the tattooed guy. "Sorry Zach, you tiger now."
 
PianoJosh
2007-04-09 2:42:29 PM  
Not bad, but it's no fbxrd.
 
Hal B. Sure
2007-04-09 2:42:37 PM  
Tiger beaten by unknown Johnson
 
The Invisible Sky Wizard
2007-04-09 4:00:31 PM  
Tiger and Johnson at Augusta. Tiger, his face black, his eyes red.
 
idsfa
2007-04-09 5:05:42 PM  
[image from farm1.static.flickr.com too old to be available]
 
TheAnvil
2007-04-09 5:06:32 PM  
That's a perfectly cromulent headline.
 
Farkthulhu
2007-04-09 5:07:37 PM  
Zach and Tiger at Augusta

Tiger, when the walls fell. . .
 
AlanisMorissette
2007-04-09 5:08:26 PM  
Smitty misses a perfect opportunity for the img.fark.net tag.
 
Kanemano
2007-04-09 5:09:31 PM  
[image from intriguing.com too old to be available]

A tiger?
 
cartmen34
2007-04-09 5:12:07 PM  
I can hardly stop laughing long enough to say what.

what?
 
The_one_with_that_guy
2007-04-09 5:12:12 PM  
That headline was the worst attempt at a haiku ever.
 
kilgorn
2007-04-09 5:12:18 PM  
Shaka..when the walls fell...

Tiger rests...
 
CrackedEgg
2007-04-09 5:12:37 PM  
Dumbasses. It's two lines.

"Zach Who? Steals Show"
"Johnson Doesn't Blink Despite Tiger"

Which, while not in line for a Pulitzer, isn't that bad, taken one at a time instead of mashed together like submitter did.
 
ludditemike
2007-04-09 5:12:57 PM  
I think I met the guy that wrote this headline at the bar this weekend. No idea what he was saying, but he sure did mean it.
 
PopeoftheFCOTB
2007-04-09 5:14:23 PM  
I think it's two separate headlines:

Zach who? steals show

Johnson doesn't blink despite Tiger.
 
PopeoftheFCOTB
2007-04-09 5:15:21 PM  
Yeah, what CrackedEgg said.
 
Fark Me Runnin
2007-04-09 5:15:55 PM  
At least "fbxrd" gave us a new term for "farked page." That one just made my head hurt.
 
destitute college kid
2007-04-09 5:16:05 PM  
Steals Show Johnson is my favorite Native American blues musician.
 
Pro Zack
2007-04-09 5:16:34 PM  
How many monkeys did it take to bang out that gem?
 
enc23
2007-04-09 5:16:43 PM  
Umm...it makes sense if you use the proper capitalization and split it into two lines -- which the site did, but subby didn't.

Headline: Zack who? steals show
Subhead: Johnson doesn't blink despite Tiger

The subhead could have been more clever, but it works.

On a newspaper page the headline was probably much larger than the subhead. And they don't have the photo they used on the site. It probably helped too.

/this is lame
//there are plenty of headlines more deserving of the incoherent award
///i demand a recount
 
enc23
2007-04-09 5:19:12 PM  
I see CrackedEgg and PopeoftheFCOTB beat me to it.

:-)
 
Chinchillazilla
2007-04-09 5:19:12 PM  
enc23

Umm...it makes sense if you use the proper capitalization and split it into two lines -- which the site did, but subby didn't.

Not really. "Zack who? steals show" doesn't make sense no matter what you do to it.
 
MooseBayou
2007-04-09 5:19:57 PM  
On a related note, I was pretty surprised to see Tiger rinse it on the fifteenth.

Good job, Zach.

Here's one:

Since Phil broke through a couple years ago, who is now the best golfer to have never won a major?

My vote is for Chris DeMarco. Top ten in the world, with 2nd place finishes in the Masters, PGA, and British Open.

/been jonesing for a good golf flame.
 
Pro Zack
2007-04-09 5:21:34 PM  
Punctuation without her man is nothing.
 
MooseBayou
2007-04-09 5:21:50 PM  
ACtually, three headlines:

Zach, who steals.

Show johnson doesn't blink.

Despite Tiger.

/now that's how a johnson oughtta act
 
wwwavenger
2007-04-09 5:22:19 PM  
Having watched the last hour of the Masters, this headline was perfectly clear.

/Meh
 
enc23
2007-04-09 5:25:05 PM  
Chinchillazilla

Yes it does. They are playing off of the fact that no one knew who this guy was before he won the masters. Hence: Zach who?
(That's what I was saying when I heard he won.)

And he did steal the show. He won.

What doesn't make sense about it?
 
Pro Zack
2007-04-09 5:25:08 PM  
Chinchillazilla
"Zack who? steals show" doesn't make sense no matter what you do to it.

unless you. read it. as, William shatner.
 
Pro Zack
2007-04-09 5:25:43 PM  
would
 
amiker77
2007-04-09 5:27:26 PM  
Wow, the Darmok references made my eye twitch a little!

Nice job.

/enjoys Star Trek
//a little scared of how well I know it
 
ippolit
2007-04-09 5:28:01 PM  
The headline was even funnier when I read it in OpinionJournal's Best Of The Web Today earlier today.
 
FrancoFile [TotalFark]
2007-04-09 5:28:32 PM  
'Zack Who?' steals show

Is that better, Chinchillazilla?
 
JPhilB
2007-04-09 5:28:54 PM  
Excellent...
A thread refering to one of my favorite ST:TNG episodes.

/You crazy Farkers
 
LuigiHann
2007-04-09 5:29:37 PM  
I'm sorry, but that's just fbxrd. I get what they're going for, but out of context it reads like nonsense.
Headlines ought to be straightforward.
 
FloydA
2007-04-09 5:29:43 PM  
[image from i105.photobucket.com too old to be available]

Who?

Wait, what?
 
runeytwo
2007-04-09 5:33:12 PM  
Dude, I totally got a spam-mail like this the other day...
 
idioteque
2007-04-09 5:39:30 PM  
Don't be alarmed it's just bad HTML, note the paragraph tag in the title bar.

I think it's suppose to look more like this story with the subheading:
 
clownpenis.fart
2007-04-09 5:42:11 PM  
Who?

[image from img409.imageshack.us too old to be available]
 
kilgorn
2007-04-09 5:46:50 PM  
Farkers = Children of Tama....
 
Hairball_Barfer
2007-04-09 6:13:27 PM  
Best Crawl of the tourny:

Woods 2 strokes behind Johnson.

heh heh heh heh, Beavis!
 
hetheeme
2007-04-09 6:21:46 PM  
AH, that explains it, the headline is not in English, it's in Golf.
 
Jack31081
2007-04-09 6:22:09 PM  
Some accessories make comprehension much easier.

"Zach Who?" steals show. Johnson doesn't blink, despite Tiger.
 
Chiggity Chza
2007-04-09 6:22:25 PM  
i am sitting here waiting to show johnson, useless with out pix

/BIE
 
heinousjay
2007-04-09 6:28:21 PM  
[image from myspace-595.vo.llnwd.net too old to be available]

Johnson!

/peep show
//best show evar
 
Shemp Mo-Din
2007-04-09 6:55:20 PM  
2007-04-09 05:29:37 PM LuigiHann
I'm sorry, but that's just fbxrd. I get what they're going for, but out of context it reads like nonsense.
Headlines ought to be straightforward.
While I agree with you, I would also urge you to never pick up a copy of Variety. It's like another freakin' language.
 
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