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(Yahoo)   Witches protest Harry Potter's broomstick having brush in back instead of front   ( divider line
    More: Stupid  
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2018 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jul 2001 at 8:58 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

50 Comments     (+0 »)
2001-07-09 09:09:37 AM  
"yeah, we're sorry crazy lady, we'll write a formal public apology, suuure just for you. we've sent memos out to all manufacturers of halloween products telling them that witches should ride their brooms the other way around. thank you for pulling the wool from over our eyes! we owe you! you are a national hero! and hey about that wishing us to do badly at the box office thing.... think you could pull one of those on pokemon? i mean, animals don't really fit into little red and white balls, and they aren't willing to admit that they got it wrong."
2001-07-09 09:14:14 AM  
Funny, you'd think they'd be more aerodynamicaly sound with the bristles pointing twoard the back. Go figure.
2001-07-09 09:24:27 AM  
Yes, but they're majick, you fool.
2001-07-09 09:28:52 AM  
Term Paper info: One theory was that "witches" used to smear a combination of hallucinogenic herbs on the handle of the broom stick. They then put the handle in their vagina, causing the hallcinogens to be absorbed by the tender vaginal tissue. They then hallucinated that they were flying on the broom (literally flying "high")
So bristles forward would be correct.
2001-07-09 09:30:13 AM  
Hi crazy people!

2001-07-09 09:39:44 AM  
So when I'm kickin' their asses for being fools, should I do it from the front or the back?
2001-07-09 09:50:27 AM  
Its because the handle represents the penis, and the brush represents the vagina. Its a whole big phallic symbol thing. Females more significant than men. But in certain religions such as shamanism or paganism as opposed to wicca or the broad 'witchcraft', it is ridden handle first for male witches and broom first for female.
2001-07-09 10:06:41 AM  
Couldnt they upgrade to a vacuum cleaner? It is after all a new century. 8-)
2001-07-09 10:10:37 AM  
Uhm ... people .. if I may ... I've been a practicing Pagan for the better part of five years now. Most of the rituals I hae attended or performed have been either entirely Wiccan/Witchcraft in nature, or at least heavily slanted that way. The only thing I have ever used a brrom for, or seen one used for, has been for ritually cleansing ritual space. We don't actually ride brooms y'all.

I admit I'm a bit confused by this whole problem. Harry Potter is not a Witch in the religious sense, and he's not meant to be taken as anything real. He is fiction, just a Hollywood/mass media version of a wizard. I mean, IMO, so long as no one is trying to scare people with magic, or put anything non-Christian in a negative light, I see no problems with it.

And, just so everyone knows, I was Pagan before I encountered Harry Potter. He did not convert me. :)
2001-07-09 10:16:00 AM  
These people have suffered a witches curse!
Let The Dogs Out?
2001-07-09 10:28:17 AM  
oh big deal! doesnt mean a billion people arent going to see it anyway!! i personally never had an interest in harry potter, never read one of the books. but some of my friends have and they LOVE it. and they're like 16! i guess its good at any age. so many people are going to see that movie.
i saw prievews for it in the theaters and i actually want to...but i feel wrong since ive never read one of the i dont want to become one of "them" oh, i dunno.
those lil elve people looked so kool.
2001-07-09 10:37:11 AM  
Shouldn't this get get 50% off his brroms since he has half a brain?

...who let the dogs out..........
2001-07-09 10:56:26 AM  
"The CAA (Britain's Civil Aviation Authority) won't give me permission to fly," he said.

yeah, poor guy has all three brooms grounded...
Bring them over here to the states and we'll see how well
you can fly - or can you only fly when nobody's watching.

people are weird, are they trying to get on
2001-07-09 11:06:56 AM  
OK, being a Witch myself, I am sorry to say that:
1. Witches don't actually fly on broomsticks.
2. Flying is actually an out-of-body experience when it is referred to.
3. Even if we did use broomsticks if is not aerodynamically feasable to ride them with the brush in front. There are woodcuts pre-dating the ones they cite that show them being ridden with the brush in the back.
4. These are the kind of freaks that give Witches a bad name.
2001-07-09 11:18:14 AM  
Thanks Gwen I was waiting for one of those.

A question: Thiscoming Hallowe'en, before you spend a few quiet moments at the altar, why not have a little fun and go out trick/treating dressed as a christian?
2001-07-09 11:37:34 AM  
Pengwen: exacataly.
2001-07-09 11:39:48 AM  
I agree with PenGwen and Sethor. I was reffering to folklore rather than the actual practices of Wiccans or Pagans or Jack Chickians.
2001-07-09 11:52:23 AM  
Have you noticed people will say anything to be on the news.
2001-07-09 11:58:20 AM  
I concur :)

All of the wiccans I've known weren't into that silly stuff. Most of them were just heavy believers in karma, and worshiped one or more gods which no other religion still does ;) But, they were all really nice people, and no more believed that you could fly on a broomstick than believing that Bush was fairly elected. ;)

Though, I do have to cast my vote for "Least Coherent Set of Beliefs in a Religion" for Wicca. (my vote for "Most Coherent Set of Beliefs in a Religion" gets cast for my religion - Atheism ;) ).

-= rei =-
2001-07-09 12:53:15 PM  
"...A high priest of British White Witches said broomsticks should be ridden the other way round, and has wished for the film to do badly at the box office until the studio admits it got it wrong...."

So there is a CORRECT way to ride a broomstick? This is a fictional movie and "witches" are complaining that this "fictional" movie is showing incorrect witch behavior?!?! (Obviously REAL witches would never ride brooms in this fashion...right?)

Do "real" witches still wear big pointy hats and curly toed shoes and have big moles on the end of their noses and only come out around Halloween making witch's brews out of eyes of newt and tounges of frog?

Somebody needs to consult with Witchiepoo from H.R. Puffinstuff about "proper witch behavior". This incorrect method of broom flying MUST NOT BE ALLOWED ON FILM! (HAW HAW)
2001-07-09 01:06:30 PM  
C'mon, Badger, don't make fun of them.

Most wiccans I've known have been nicer people than most christians I've known. They don't do silly things like that, they just tend to be nice, caring individuals who believe in a strong sense of spirituality in the world not embodied in a single, male entity with three personalities ;). Like in every religion, they have their "nutcases", so to speak. Christianity, even atheism - we all have our crazy people who make us look bad.

-= rei =-
2001-07-09 01:16:51 PM  
What if you're a gay male witch?
2001-07-09 01:17:42 PM  
If you are going to portray something in film, why not do it correctly - even if it is mythology? Yes, it could challenge the lowest common denominators to think, but hey they might learn something!
2001-07-09 01:42:14 PM  
I've known a bi male witch, does that count? :)

-= rei =-
2001-07-09 01:54:56 PM  
Gay male witches ride brooms with handles at both ends

Bi-sexual witches can ride either way, it's the flying that counts.
2001-07-09 02:21:55 PM  
Frksamor - I clicked on that link and I don't think I'll ever be the same. My eyes, my eyes, dear god I can still see it! Please make it stop! *whimper*
2001-07-09 02:33:11 PM  
PenGwen: "OK, being a Witch myself"

Bwuahaha! Funniest comment I've ever read! Bwuahahaha.
2001-07-09 02:53:37 PM  

Ok then. I wonder if he was grounded because he was running around the street with a broom between his legs?.
2001-07-09 03:10:20 PM  
Diogenes : I am a gay, male witch.
2001-07-09 03:29:22 PM  
Sick of petty-assed complaints from witches and biatches and wishin' you could shove either end of those brooms where the moon don't shine even for Wiccans?

Call me for your free readin' now!
Kat [TotalFark]
2001-07-09 03:30:19 PM  
har, i was gonna say what PenGwen said. sorta.

but it IS true that shamans and witches often say on broomsticks while astral traveling, if my sourses be right...
2001-07-09 03:32:09 PM  
Sethor: "Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?" That's the important question. (If you're a bad witch, give me call! *wink*)
2001-07-09 03:42:51 PM  
Looks like Yahoo has started doing Ananova-style "joke" articles.
Bah, where can a guy get some proper news around here.
2001-07-09 03:48:51 PM  
Sethor Can you explain what the point is? I mean, is it that you have a little club so you can watch Buffy? Or is it religious, where you attempt to explain the unknown?

Please tell me the basic tenets of witches, or Wiccans, or whatever you subscribe to!
2001-07-09 04:01:21 PM  
Samantha Stevens has been riding a broom a helluva lot longer than this schmoo has. So she does it correct.
Dr Bombay! Dr. Bombay! Come right away!
2001-07-09 04:07:15 PM  
Everyone's right about the aerodynamics. I don't know what those oddballs straddle their brooms for, but in the books it's supposed to be a high-speed sport and a quick means of travel. Whee.
2001-07-09 04:30:32 PM  
Diogenes : When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm even better. :)

OcterDoctopus : The point of being Pagan, to me is a very spiritual one. I'm not a big fan of Buffy. I have no problem with the show, caught it a few times, just not really my thing. I do consider myself more of a Pagan, because my beliefs are Wiccan, but I believe in more spiritual paths than just Wicca, so I call myself a Pagan as a nice blanket term.

That being said, yes, for me Wicca is religious. It is my own attempt to explain the unknown, and what we don't know about what is known, as well as feeling a sense of being connected to the spiritual world, the physical world, to all life (be it human, animal, plant or whatever else), and to the Ancient Ones, the god and goddess. Basic tenants of Wicca would be celebrating sabbats and esbats (full moon and new moon), also celebrating our holidays (see below) to celebrate the passing of time, and the turning of the wheel of the year, a big wheel, connecting and affecting all life, that is always turning. Also, all magic that can be done begins within each person, and through our rituals (which, just to clarify, do **NOT** involve animal sacrifices, human sacrifices, orgies, drugs, Satan, abortions, or homosexuality) we send out our energies, mingle them with the natural energies of the Universe, and with the energies of those joining us, whether they're doing a ritual with us, or merely sending their energies to the same cause, to affect change in the world, a change that we help to make, and are responsible for. Wicca really has only two 'laws' and anyone who would consider themself a Wiccan follows these and remembers these. The first, is that "Whatever we send out, comes back to us three-fold" or in a more simplistic word, karma. The second law, and the one law that stands true for all Pagans, no matter what path they follow, is the Wiccan Rede, "And it harm none, do what ye will". This means harm to yourself, harm to anyone else, trying to force others to act against their will for your own selfish gains.

Many Wiccans have Pentacles on their clothes at times, or on jewelry they wear. This is a star in a circle, with the point of the star pointing upwards. It is a sign of the fout elements (Earth, Air Fire, Water) with the fifth spoke symbolizing Spirit, the force of the god and goddess within each of us. Please do not confuse this with the Satanic pentagram.

Wiccan holidays : Imbolc (February 2nd), Ostara (Spring Equinox), Beltane (May 1st), Litha/Midsummer (Summer Solstice), Lammas (August 1st), Mabon (Fall Equinox), Samhain (October 31st), and Yule (Winter Solstice).

If you're needing more info, is a great place to start looking.

Blessed be!
2001-07-09 04:33:05 PM  
Its a religion, but not a very consistant one. Different wiccans believe different things. Some believe certain books as being true and others as being "false". They worship different gods and godesses, depending on the individual/group. Celtic gods are fairly common, it seems. The only thing I've found consistant in wiccanism is a firm belief in karma as a true force of nature. Thus, most wiccans I've known have been very nice people :)

-= rei =-
2001-07-09 04:44:46 PM  
Wicca is a word that is derived from the old Brythonic word for wisdom. Wiccans (for the most part) were (and are) people who use folk magic as well as holistic approaches to things like healing as well as worship. They were known as "wise" men and women. Not to be confused with druids. They, like the druids, tend to recognise the same holidays because Wicca was generally practiced in England. Wiccans tend to be shamanistic as well. The Irish and Scottish and Welsh druids didn't practice shamanism. They studied nature and such, like wiccans, but were also judges, bards, and interpreters of the law. Many people think that they are one in the same, but are not.
2001-07-09 07:06:19 PM  
Sethor: "many Wiccans have Pentacles on their clothes at times, or on jewelry they wear. This is a star in a circle, with the point of the star pointing upwards. It is a sign of the four elements (Earth, Air Fire, Water) with the fifth spoke symbolizing Spirit"

Am I the only one reminded of captain planet?
2001-07-09 07:11:28 PM  
Am I the only one left in the world who thinks karma is a load of crap?

If karma were true, good stuff would only happen to good people and bad stuff would only happen to bad people. Over the course of my life I have met many good people who had had a terrible life, and many bad people who were as happy as could be.
2001-07-09 08:49:09 PM  
gunther: according to karmic theory, they are just getting what they deserve from a past life. karma doesn't work at all unless you bring in the reincarnation thing, because, obviously, terrible things happen to people who don't deserve it. don't believe me? babies get born with birth defects of all kinds. what did they do?

those suckers in tibet that are being oppressed by the chinese? deal with it. you were bad in a past life and you are getting your just desserts.

karma is a scam that was invented by the aristocracy in india in order to keep the poor in their place. "oh, don't worry. just farm that land until you die and you will be reincarnated into the warrior caste or the priestly caste. but if you slack off, you'll come back as an untouchable!"

anyway, i think sethor was not really talking about karma, he used the word because it's a similar concept to the law of threes or whatever, which a lot of people don't know about unless they've seen that movie with fairuza balk and the chick from party of five.
2001-07-09 08:52:08 PM  
Mad, Sethor, Rei Thanks for the help. The Buffy reference was simply meant to illustrate my vast ignorance on the subject- i.e. casting spells, etc.

It sounds nice, at least from a naturalistic point of view. Sounds Taoist and Zen Buddhist...

Anyway, thanks.
2001-07-09 09:04:30 PM  
2001-07-09 09:08:40 PM  
The only karma I'm familiar with is the kind that comes in the chameleon variety...
2001-07-09 09:24:37 PM  
Harry Potter film: Worst Wiccasode ever!
or so the comic book guy might say.
2001-07-09 10:19:29 PM  
need to update with the vacuum cleaners, I still say 8-)
2001-07-10 07:14:39 AM  
My Karma ran over your Dogma.
2001-07-10 09:49:24 AM  

Very good synopsis! I guess I'm more pagan than anything else, but it is more of a philosophy to me than a religion. So far, it hasn't been able to explain the unknown to me, but it has helped me accept it more readily. I'm not much into believing in gods or goddesses as real beings, but more like personifications of nature. As such, they don't watch over us, so we have to write our own moral code and try to live as good people. The two laws that Sethor mentioned pretty much represent this moral code in its basic form. Not only that, but they are the only two things that even most "pagans" can agree to. I actually do have rituals on (most of) the holidays with a group of friends, but the really religious ones do nothing for me. Whenevr I head one, I try to focus more on humanity things, like for Lammas (a first harvest-related day), I centered around helping hungry people in real ways, like donating to food drives.

Just thought I'd give another perspective!
2001-07-10 10:58:47 PM  
"Carlyon knows first hand the proper way to ride a broomstick"

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