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(Philly.com)   Christian Monopoly: It's just like "Monopoly," only instead of trying to bankrupt your opponents and acquire all the cash in the world, the purpose is to help the poor and learn about God. Sounds like a blast   (willdo.philadelphiaweekly.com) divider line
    More: Amusing  
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4250 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Mar 2007 at 7:21 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



100 Comments     (+0 »)


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2007-03-28 4:27:21 PM  
Sounds like Christian chess, where instead of taking your opponent's pieces off the board, you convert them you your side.
 
2007-03-28 4:30:26 PM  
Hey kids! Tired of your Xbox, your Internet, your Nintendo, your interactive games where you can battle your Pokemon (or whatever) against some little snotnose in Japan?

No
 
2007-03-28 4:34:00 PM  
How exactly does one "learn about God"? You can learn about the crap that the people that came before you made up about God, but how exactly does one investigate God?

My experiments involved triple-dog-dares while standing outside in a thunderstorm, and I have to tell you, so far I am not impressed.
 
2007-03-28 4:36:30 PM  
Didn't Rod and Todd Flanders play this?
 
2007-03-28 4:37:04 PM  
the purpose is to help the poor and learn about God. Sounds like a blastlike a blast

Sounds like commie pinko shiat pinko shiat
 
2007-03-28 4:39:25 PM  
Like any other time Christians try to branch off into popular entertainment that they once fought against. (music, TV, film, comedians), it will be goofy and lame.

Just let the experts handle the entertainment, you fine Christians.
 
2007-03-28 4:40:51 PM  
I'm sure it's just as boring as the original version.
 
2007-03-28 4:42:53 PM  
"Well, guess! Book of Revelations, fire-breathing lion's head, tail made out of snakes...who else is it going to be?"

"Jesus?"

"Je...Jes...don't you kids know anything? The Serpent of Rehaboam? The Well of Zohassadar? The Bridal Feast of Beth Chedruharazzeb?"
 
2007-03-28 4:43:49 PM  
clifton: it will be goofy and lame

Hey, what about Donny and Marie? They were teh hotness!

/oh, that's right. They were mormons...
 
2007-03-28 4:47:43 PM  
helping poor people is for losers and gays
 
2007-03-28 4:48:17 PM  
I would have thought the idea was to bilk people out of 10% of their income...

/ducks
//I really am kidding
 
2007-03-28 4:48:27 PM  
They help the poor and learn things? Must not be based on modern Christianity then.
 
2007-03-28 4:49:29 PM  
Poopspasm
Nice.

I wonder is the "pastor" (banker) always gets to keep the free parking money.
 
2007-03-28 4:51:22 PM  
I'd like to see something like:

[image from blessedtrinityorlando.org too old to be available]

(Lands on corner square) You tried to exchange your money in temple, Jesus gives you a smack-down, go directly to confession, do not accept communion.

/oops, looks like I mixed up my jew and catholic parts. Oh well.
 
2007-03-28 5:03:24 PM  
 
2007-03-28 5:08:08 PM  
How about 'Christian Risk'?
 
2007-03-28 5:13:27 PM  
vernonFL: How about 'Christian Risk'?

..... *looks around* ..... Crusades? ..... No?

well, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition.
 
2007-03-28 5:13:41 PM  
Buddhist Battleship: you can never win, you can only learn to stop caring that you lose.
 
2007-03-28 5:15:27 PM  
I hope I get this game for imagination Christmas.

/yay! imaination Christmas!
 
2007-03-28 5:16:02 PM  
 
2007-03-28 5:16:29 PM  
Lionel Mandrake: Didn't Rod and Todd Flanders play this?

See mediaho. "Bible Bombardment."
 
2007-03-28 5:17:08 PM  
It looks like Jesus is about to turn that cheek into a mudhole.
 
2007-03-28 5:17:56 PM  
My favorite is the "Go to Hell" card!

"Go to Hell - do not pass plate, do not tithe $200"
 
2007-03-28 5:18:28 PM  
Chance card:

You plan a march to protest homosexuals, but are barred from speaking. America-hating liberals at ACLU offer to represent you, pro bono. Your head explodes. Pay $50 hospital bill.
 
2007-03-28 5:29:32 PM  
It'll sell well among the uber-conservative (not politically conservative, necessarily) Jesus-loving set, but won't sell at all except as a gag gift.
 
2007-03-28 6:07:05 PM  
clifton: Like any other time Christians try to branch off into popular entertainment that they once fought against. (music, TV, film, comedians), it will be goofy and lame.

CCM makes Baby Jesus listen to Slayer.
 
2007-03-28 7:24:46 PM  
[image from familyguyfun.com too old to be available]

"You don't win. You just do a little better each time."
 
2007-03-28 7:25:49 PM  
submitter: trying to bankrupt your opponents and acquire all the cash in the world

I thought that *was* the whole point of Christian Monopoly...

/scratching head
 
2007-03-28 7:29:39 PM  
clifton: Just let the experts handle the entertainment, you fine Christians.

I agree with your statement. But frankly, you can't blame the Christians for trying. They just can't seem to forget the good old days when the experts decided that Christians *were* the entertainment.


/Ancient Rome had an idea there...
//Yep. I said it.
///SLASHIE!
 
2007-03-28 7:29:44 PM  
I've got that joy joy joy joy down in my heart.


WHERE?!?


Down in my heart, down in my heart, to stay......


And if the devil doesn't like it he can sit on a tack

OUCH!

sit on tack, sit on tack...
 
2007-03-28 7:30:21 PM  
Christian Monopoly? I thought the game the world was playing was religious monopoly. Thats when you encourage the spreading of your religion, be it through good acts, prostelytizing, terror, or breeding.

/And what is the promise of hell? Nothing but terrorism?
 
2007-03-28 7:30:59 PM  
Baltic & Mediterranean Ave. = Slums of Calcutta
Marvin Gardens = a suburban Baptist church with attached Christian Elementary School
Park Place = Focus on the Family HQ, Colorado Springs, Co.
Boardwalk = Heaven
Railroads = Sacraments
Income Tax = Tithe
Chance = The Will of God
Jail = Abortion Clinic
 
2007-03-28 7:31:52 PM  
Community Chest: You have been caught smoking meth with a male prostitute. Go directly to rehab.
 
2007-03-28 7:33:09 PM  
>img src="http://www.salamandersociety.com/mormonopoly/001004cricket_gordopoly.jpg" />


I am recovering LDS. This is real.
 
2007-03-28 7:33:54 PM  
[image from salamandersociety.com too old to be available]

I am recovering LDS, and this is real

(attempt #2)
 
2007-03-28 7:34:55 PM  
"Hey Jimmy! You landed on my brothel! Pay me 500 Sheckels and go see your doctor about that mystery itch."
 
2007-03-28 7:40:14 PM  
Community Chest: Your parish priest has molested 300 children. Pay each player $50,000. And say 3 Hail Mary's.
 
2007-03-28 7:40:39 PM  
Strange, I thought Christian Monopoly was very much about trying to bankrupt your opponents and acquire all the cash in the world.
 
2007-03-28 7:41:07 PM  
I'm a little snot-nose from Japan, and I'm getting a kick out of these replies.
 
2007-03-28 7:43:39 PM  
Chance cards:

You give $1 to a homeless person and god rewards you with a bank error in your favor. Collect $50

You convert 3 friends. Collect $200 and a toaster

You convert 3 heathens. Collect $500

Your breakfast toast looks like Jesus. Sell tickets to viewing. Collect $300

You spend 4 hours trying to convince a Darwinist of the creation story and miss work. Pay $100

You buy a tacky clock with a lit up Jesus where his arms tell the time. Pay $50. If the time is currently between 2:40 and 2:50 or 8:40 and 8:50, Collect $500
 
2007-03-28 7:44:11 PM  
Who built the ark?
Joakim Noah
Joakim Noah
Who built the ark?
Joakim Noah built the ark.
 
2007-03-28 7:44:46 PM  
BMFPitt: Strange, I thought Christian Monopoly was very much about trying to bankrupt your opponents and acquire all the cash in the world.

Hmm...I'd have thought it would be about manipulating governments and assimilating other religions, complete with taking their rituals, renaming them, and claiming them as your own.
 
2007-03-28 7:45:27 PM  
oldebayer: Sounds like Christian chess, where instead of taking your opponent's pieces off the board, you convert them you your side.

[image from explosm.net too old to be available]
 
2007-03-28 7:45:47 PM  
[image from static.flickr.com too old to be available]
 
2007-03-28 7:46:04 PM  
can't wait to see the phelps version - "you get raped - go straight to hell"
 
2007-03-28 7:46:51 PM  
"Monopoly"? More like "Monotony"! LOL M I RITE
 
2007-03-28 7:50:28 PM  
[image from guidautile.com too old to be available]

HANDS TO SIDE.....HANDS FOLDED!!!!
 
2007-03-28 7:50:41 PM  
The whole thing makes me sad. I can just imagine some earnestly religious kid getting this for his birthday, playing it with his friends, and feeling his heart slowly die and his faith erode out from under him because of how totally farking lame this Christian board game must be.

That's not the worst part. The worst part is that he blames himself and continues to try to believe, just to save himself from the inevitable ostracism of his family and peers.

/Xtian parents, why must you torture your children like this?
 
2007-03-28 7:50:49 PM  
...help the poor and learn about God...

...by taking their money, right?
 
2007-03-28 7:50:51 PM  
clifton

Just let the experts handle the entertainment, you fine Christians.

You mean Jews?
 
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