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(I-Mockery)   Ten seemingly minor things that made "The Empire Strikes Back" a great movie. Includes audio proof that Tauntauns did indeed speak the same "robble-robble" language as the McDonald's Hamburglar   ( i-mockery.com) divider line
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44915 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Mar 2007 at 3:34 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-03-20 02:54:00 PM  
Interesting list. I especially agree with 1, 3 and 6. It's little subtle touches like those that make Empire such a classic.
 
2007-03-20 03:05:06 PM  
List of major factors:

A real director.

But as far as TFA goes...

I agree, especially #3, I love that effect. I think the best part of Yoda's character is how he acts like a senile old alien at the start.
 
2007-03-20 03:15:40 PM  
As a 7 year old, when I saw #7 for the first time it scared the piss out of me. It was so unexpected. At that point Vader was the meanest thing I had ever known, and all of the sudden there he was!
 
2007-03-20 03:15:40 PM  
I love Empire Strikes Back.

TFA could've stood having fewer exclamation points, though. So much enthusiasm gets annoying.
 
2007-03-20 03:28:45 PM  
tdpatriots12


List of major factors:

A real director.


Another major factor. A real screenwriter. Lawrence Kasdan was fresh off his success of Raiders of the Lost Ark and was preparing his screenplay for The Big Chill. It's probably the only Star Wars movie with good dialogue.

"Ready are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained. A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless."

Defintely much more pleasant to the ears that "the monsters is outta thah. Weessa sinking in heah. Weessall sinking and no powah. Whensa youssa thinking weessa in trouble!" or "You rebel scum!"
 
2007-03-20 03:39:36 PM  
Can someone repost the list here for us unlucky enough to have it blocked? There's a virtual beer in it for you...
 
2007-03-20 03:41:07 PM  
[image from agletproductions.com too old to be available]
 
2007-03-20 03:43:23 PM  
I would add the first look at Vader's farked up scarred head.
 
2007-03-20 03:43:44 PM  
szmike: Another major factor. A real screenwriter. Lawrence Kasdan was fresh off his success of Raiders of the Lost Ark and was preparing his screenplay for The Big Chill. It's probably the only Star Wars movie with good dialogue.

I've heard some people say that the original trilogy is one amazing movie bookended by two decent ones.

While Ep 4's impact on the film industry of the time may have been incredible, looking at the movies in retrospect I'm pretty sure I agree with that statement.
 
2007-03-20 03:44:08 PM  
and, by comment 7, the link is farked. Cache anyone?
 
2007-03-20 03:45:03 PM  
farked???
 
2007-03-20 03:45:06 PM  
"Thirty-second scenes" didn't make the list?
 
2007-03-20 03:45:06 PM  
Nooooooooooo!

/like father, like son
 
2007-03-20 03:46:00 PM  
#1: Yoda Gets Creepy!
#2: Luke's 'Upset' Face!
#3: A Hologram Dies!
#4: Tauntauns Sound Like
The Hamburglar!
#5: Lobot Gets Things Done!
#6: A Tech Gets Uncomfortable!
#7: Dinner With Vader!
#8: We Don't Need Their Scum!
#9: Ugnaughts Play Keep Away!
#10: "I'll See You in Hell!"

Meh, ok list. Yoda rising the X-Wing out of the swamp is one of the best scenes in the movie.
 
2007-03-20 03:46:08 PM  
Link is Farked!

\Let the geeks rule!!!
 
2007-03-20 03:46:48 PM  
"I'll see you in Hell."

I have always wanted to know why that was in the movie too.
 
2007-03-20 03:47:52 PM  
As far as I know, Lobot was also the inventor of Bluetooth technology. Which makes him sort of like Thomas Edison, if Thomas Edison had invented some sort of irritating earphone walkie-talkie for mental defectives to use while hangin' at the Orange Julius.
 
2007-03-20 03:48:40 PM  
"A great movie" for insomniacs. Would love to watch it all the way through some day but zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
 
2007-03-20 03:49:27 PM  
TFA, but the pictures and sounds are what really makes it. Luke's face GIF was really good...
The Empire Strikes Back is one of my all-time favorite movies (if not number one), and even with its special effects shortcomings, it still holds up today just as well as it did in 1980, and it's easily the best Star Wars movie. I could see someone making a misguided case for the first one being the best, but they'd be wrong. I can at least understand where they're coming from though, because the first one is a very close second best. But for every one of you who thinks that Return of the Jedi is the better film, I will punch a baby Ewok in the face. I'm not saying Jedi is bad by any stretch, but it ain't no Empire.

Now, I could focus on huge things that everybody already knows about as for why it's the best movie in the series, things like how it has the best land battle in all the movies, or how it also has the best lightsaber duel (yes, the choreography was better in the prequels, but since I didn't care who lived or died or got their hand cut off, no amount of prancing around is going to make those duels better than Empire's). And don't even mention Boba farking Fett to me, because he stopped being cool the second he was accidentally killed by a blind man with a stick. But I'm not going to list those obvious things, because everybody already knows about all that shiat. Also, I'm not going to bother with the little technical flaws and goofs like the potato in the asteroid field, Luke bouncing on the trampoline in Cloud City, or C-3PO's head almost knocking a light off the Millennium Falcon. You can look those up on any number of other websites. Instead, I'm going to focus on the little moments and details that have really stood out for me after years of repeated viewings. They may not be the most exciting parts of the movie, but these are the little things that make me smile every time I see them.


#1: Yoda Gets Creepy!

Yoda has one perfect moment where he seemingly snaps into a brief psychotic episode and gets really creepy all of a sudden. After Yoda tells Luke about all the shiat he's going to have to face down the road as a Jedi, Luke responds by puffing out his chest and proudly declaring "I'm not afraid!" At this point, Yoda's eyes narrow slightly, he leans forward, and like some previously-thought-harmless little old lady who suddenly pulls out a blood-stained axe, he says in a very quiet, almost delighted voice "Goooood. You will be. You will be." And then the scene changes! Presumably seconds before his head starts spinning around and he sprays green vomit all over the place. And as a child, all I could think was, "Holy shiat! Is Yoda a bad guy? Is he insane? Is he going to kill Luke?" Yoda never does anything else remotely like that throughout the rest of the series, so this really stands out as a bizarre "what the fark!?" moment.

#2: Luke's 'Upset' Face!

On Cloud City, Luke has plenty of reason to be kind of upset. His duel with Vader didn't quite go so well as he just got his ass handed to him, his friends have just been captured, he's just had his hand cut off, he's cornered out on a narrow platform hanging above a yawning abyss, and then Vader drops the "I'm your daddy" bomb on him. All of these things would add up to a pretty bad day, and they all happen to Luke in a matter of minutes, so he's understandably a bit traumatized by it all. Which causes him to make the BEST FACE EVER. Luke looks like some kind of horrible botox disaster as he breaks down and totally freaks out about all the shiat that's just happened to him. No one can replicate that face. It's dangerous to even try.

#3: A Hologram Dies!

During the scene where the Imperials are chasing the Millennium Falcon through the asteroid field, Darth Vader is talking to a few Star Destroyer captains over a holographic comm signal. We see one Star Destroyer get hit in the bridge by an asteroid, and the next moment one of the three captains raises his arms up, like he's going to block the asteroid or bat it away, and then he disappears, but Vader is so cold he doesn't even seem to notice or care. For years I only had the pan-and-scan version of the movie taped off of television, so I never saw this guy perish off to the side, but now I can see him die in the glory of widescreen!

#4: Tauntauns Sound Like
The Hamburglar!


On Hoth, the Rebels have subjugated a race of bipedal space goats to carry their asses around (though why you would choose to ride something that poops when you have plenty of speeders and other vehicles available is beyond me). I always liked the tauntauns because not only did they look kind of cool, but they made the best noises. As a child, I was quite surprised to discover that among their normal grunts and bleets, they make one particular "robble-robble!" noise that sounds remarkably like the Hamburglar from all those old McDonalds commercials, who they're too P.C. to actually show anymore. I've heard other people make that connection too, so I know I'm not the only one hearing it.

#5: Lobot Gets Things Done!

Lando's mysterious aide Lobot on Cloud City never talks, and he wears these strange electronic earmuffs that don't seem like they'd do much to protect against the cold of the high atmospheric altitudes he spends most of his time in. But this guy gets things done! He never need say a word, he just points and the guys on Cloud City know exactly what to do. Lobot never smiles-he doesn't have TIME to smile! And he's omnipresent-he's in practically every scene on Cloud City. Just when you think he's not there, you'll spot him hiding behind the potted plant in the corner. Such is the way of Lobot.

#6: A Tech Gets Uncomfortable!

Darth Vader kills Admiral Ozzel for being a farkup and alerting the Rebels to the Imperial presence by coming out of hyperspace too close to Hoth, and he doesn't even give him the common courtesy of killing him in person. Rather, Vader kills him over the comm view screen and you see him gasping and choking to death, even though he's god knows how many thousands of light-years away on his own Star Destroyer. My favorite part of this scene is the technician in the background who glances nervously back toward the monitor, where he can no doubt see an angry Darth Vader holding his hand up and pinching the air. I can't help but wonder what must be going through that technician's head. I mean, the guy's probably never even gotten close enough to have seen Darth Vader before, and now all of a sudden he's on the monitor behind him choking this admiral to death. He's probably pissing himself hoping to god that Vader doesn't notice the growing stain in his trousers.

#7: Dinner With Vader!

Han Solo finds out that Lando Calrissian has betrayed him when, thinking they're going to have dinner and catch up on old times, Lando opens the door to the dining room, only to reveal Darth Vader and a battalion of Imperial Stormtroopers waiting for them. Han fires a couple shots at Vader, but then Vader force pulls the gun out of his hand, sits back down, and says "We would be honored if you would join us". As a kid, I couldn't help but imagine that they actually sat down and shared an extremely awkward meal together, with Han Solo begrudgingly asking Vader to pass the potatoes, and with a wave of Vader's hand, the potatoes mystically float over next to Han's plate. I mean, there's food already set on the table and everything. There's just such a big unknown gap in the story here, where we don't know what the hell happened between our heroes and villains from the time that door closed to the next time we seen Han as a prisoner.

#8: We Don't Need Their Scum!

There's an exchange between Admiral Piett and a deck officer on Vader's Star Destroyer that I find really amusing. After Vader has invited a motley bunch of bounty hunters on board the ship, Admiral Piett leans over to some random ensign or whomever and declares, "Bounty hunters! We don't need their scum!" and Ensign Nobody just shoots back the most neutral response he possibly can, by just replying with "Yes, sir" and then turning back to his work. This is pretty much as close as he can come to saying "fark off" or "I really don't give a shiat" without being outright insubordinate, but it's obvious the guy is really uncomfortable with the Admiral biatching and complaining about Vader's bad ideas while Darth Vader is stomping around just a few feet above them. It's just such a noncommittal response that it makes me smile every time I view the scene.

#9: Ugnaughts Play Keep Away!

Every Star Wars film introduces a different midget race (it's a rule or something), and Empire's race were the ugly little pig guys on Cloud City called Ugnaughts. There's a great scene after C-3PO has been blown to pieces and Chewbacca has been charged with putting him back together. He finally finds where all the parts have gotten to just before he's about to be smelted down into liquid, but the Ugnaughts in the room play a cruel game of keep away with Threepio's head, forcing Chewie to run around the room in frustration chasing after his friend's most vital part. There's just something funny about the idea of Chewbacca, who has been seen as such an intimidating and strong figure up to this point, being picked on by a bunch of midget space pig bullies.

#10: "I'll See You in Hell!"

After Han Solo learns that Luke hasn't come back in from his patrol on Hoth and he's stuck outside in the freezing cold, Han tells an Echo Base officer that he's going to go out to look for his friend. The officer warns him that his tauntaun will freeze before he reaches the first marker, and Han replies "Then I'll see you in Hell!" and kicks his tauntaun into first gear. Mentioning such an Earth-specific concept like "Hell" seems really out-of-place in a Star Wars movie (especially when no religion other than the Force is ever mentioned), and it's always stuck out in my mind every time he says it. But he says it in such a totally dickish way that it never fails to make me grin, even though it does seem oddly out of place.


So there you go. Hopefully I've pointed out a few things you may not have noticed before, and now you have an excuse to go back and take a closer look at this classic film. If you enjoyed this and would like to see me take on the other Star Wars films (or just classic 80s movies in general), let me know, and I'll see what I can do.
 
2007-03-20 03:50:30 PM  
madcatcasey


Can someone repost the list here for us unlucky enough to have it blocked? There's a virtual beer in it for you...


1. Yoda gets creepy- "You will be. You will be.

2. Luke's Upset Face- He just got his ass kicked, his hand sliced off, and was just informed the guy who did it was his Daddy.

3. A Hologram Dies- When the hologram of that officer vanished after his ship was pelted by an asteroid. Nobody seems too broken up over it.

4. Tauntauns sound like the Hanburglar- self explanatory

5. Lobot Gets Things Done- Lando's mute assistant with the headphones attached to his bald head. Knows how to TCB.

6. A Tech Gets Uncomfortable- The tech that briefly turns around with the "oh shiat!" expression on his face after Vader had to choke a biatch.

7. Dinner With Vader!- "We would be honored if you joined us." What was that dinner like?

8. We don't need their scum- The "yes, sir" response from the lower ranking officer.

9. Ugnaughts play keep away- Those were the little pig creatures trying to keep Chewbacca from collecting C3PO.

10. "I'll See You in Hell!"- self explanatory

I would have added "they never even asked me any questions" after Han got tortured by a rather disturbing electrical device.
 
2007-03-20 03:50:43 PM  
Far and away the best of the series. IV is a good movie, VI sucked monkey nuts, I think they made some prequels but after VI I stopped caring.
 
2007-03-20 03:50:57 PM  
The only thing missing in that movie is Jesse Ventura walking around with Old Painless messing up the joint. Light saber? Ha.
 
2007-03-20 03:51:06 PM  
After seeing all movies I still say, the best light saber duel is Obi-Wan & Qui-Gon vs. Darth Maul. Number two is Luke vs Vader in ROTJ right after Vader tells Luke that if he cannot be turned then his sister will. Luke's face when he loses is is pretty awesome, and the combination of music and him going apeshiat on Vader's arse is quite good. Never really cared for the light saber fight in Empire.
 
2007-03-20 03:52:44 PM  
"I'll see you in Hell."

I have always wanted to know why that was in the movie too.


To get a PG rating.

The original line was "suck my balls you farking jerkoff."
 
2007-03-20 03:53:37 PM  
I don't have a linky but I read recently that Lucas considers Empire to be the least of the series, including the prequels.
 
2007-03-20 03:54:28 PM  
Strangely absent from the list:
[image from img136.imageshack.us too old to be available]
 
2007-03-20 03:54:49 PM  
The whole "I'll see you in Hell is so out of place" and makes Han look like a dick. "Geeze han, I was just warning you..."

In ESB, we also get the creepy Luke and Leia kiss.


The walking snow tanks thingies were pretty farking stupid. The same folks who build the death star built these engineering nightmares?

episode 1 was good too.

Retunr of the Jedie blew donkey balls.
 
2007-03-20 03:57:39 PM  
[image from img112.imageshack.us too old to be available]

"...and which one of these buttons calls your parents to pick you up?"
 
2007-03-20 03:58:13 PM  
madcatcasey


Here ya go

1) Han Shoots First

2) Leia saying she could stand to lose a few pounds

3) Millenium Falcon doesn't pass its emissions testing

4) AT-ATs, Man, AT-ATs!!!

5) The stewed Tauntaun at their winter retreat; spicy and savory

6) Lando's fridge full of Colt 45

7) site seeing in Dagobah

8) even Ice Monsters get the blues

9) a real director

10) The part where that guy does this thing with the stuff
 
2007-03-20 03:58:22 PM  
FTA:potato in the asteroid field

No one's actually been able to actually point that out.

szmike: I don't have a linky but I read recently that Lucas considers Empire to be the least of the series, including the prequels.

I'm pretty sure I saw that. If I'm remembering correctly, he was kidding.
 
2007-03-20 03:58:27 PM  
Empire > all the others in the series

The official aorlando ranking:
1) Empire
2) A New Hope/Star Wars
3) Return of the Jedi
4) Revenge of the Sith
5) Phantom Menace (despite Jar-Jar)
6) Attack of the Clones

This is fact, not opinion. You are not allowed to disagree with me since this is both Fark, and a topic that is near and dear to me.
 
2007-03-20 03:59:03 PM  
I always kind of dug the part where Luke first meets Yoda, who starts pawing through Luke's gear. He grabs some flaslight thing while rummaging and kind of waves it around like a light saber for a second and snickers to himself. I don't know why that brief moment of the movie always amuses me.
 
2007-03-20 03:59:26 PM  
Dialogue. Just about all of the one-liners me and my roommates quote are from Empire. And most of them are from James Earl Jones as Vader.
 
2007-03-20 04:00:35 PM  
C'mon, Luke's use of the force in the wampa cave?!? THAT should be on the list.

Plus, the squiggly fat tendrils coming out of the tauntaun cocoon....

/I thought this thread smelled bad...on the outside....
 
2007-03-20 04:01:26 PM  
 
2007-03-20 04:01:58 PM  
2007-03-20 03:52:44 PM Pemulis
The original line was "suck my balls you farking jerkoff."


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!

shakes fist at pemuli

BASTARD! you owe me a new monitor! all my colleagues are staring at me.
 
2007-03-20 04:02:26 PM  
I can't believe he actually asks why they use tauntauns on Hoth. They clearly state that they haven't been able to climatize the speeders yet. Mentioning such an error like that seems really out-of-place in a Star Wars nerd list, and it's always stuck out in my mind every time I read it.
 
2007-03-20 04:02:27 PM  
szmike: I don't have a linky but I read recently that Lucas considers Empire to be the least of the series, including the prequels.

Yes, this would figure.
 
2007-03-20 04:02:40 PM  
OMG NUMBER SEVEN FOR THE GODDAMN WIN

that is seriously the greatest thing ever.

"Lando, don't eat with your elbows on the table."
"Yes, Lord Vader."
"And Leia, stop playing grab-ass with Han over there. I can see you under the table. Jesus Christ, I'm trying to eat here.."
"...sorry Lord Vader."
 
2007-03-20 04:03:00 PM  
Empire had my favorite Vader line:

Impressive, most impressive.
 
2007-03-20 04:03:25 PM  
I don't have a linky but I read recently that Lucas considers Empire to be the least of the series, including the prequels.

I'm not a fan of Lucas, so I'm not defending the man, but he was joking when he said that. He knows Empire kicks serious arse.
 
2007-03-20 04:03:45 PM  
elchip


inkling79: Strangely absent from the list:


"Yeah, Sammy. It's a little known fact that the force is not some form of zen mysticism, but really nothing more than a species of micro-organisms known as 'midochlorians'. Now a fella with pretty high midichlorian count would make a damn fine Jedi."
"Cliff, that's the stupidest farking thing you've ever said."
 
2007-03-20 04:05:03 PM  
My eyes hurt after reading that. Anyone else get that?

/ Or am I crazy?
 
2007-03-20 04:05:25 PM  
sombreradoraloca: that is seriously the greatest thing ever.

You owe me a keyboard for that exchange.

szmike: "Yeah, Sammy. It's a little known fact that the force is not some form of zen mysticism, but really nothing more than a species of micro-organisms known as 'midochlorians'. Now a fella with pretty high midichlorian count would make a damn fine Jedi."

That exchange owes me a monitor.
 
2007-03-20 04:05:31 PM  
Oh and if you look closely. When Han's blaster is flying past the dining table back to Vader, you can see a can of Colt 45 on the table.

/kidding
 
2007-03-20 04:05:34 PM  
"Return of the Jedi" is still the best one, though.

Yeah, the Ewoks were annoying, but all the stuff that happened at Jabba's palace was pretty cool.

The fight scene over the Sarlaac Pit is the best action scene from all the Star Wars movies. And seeing Luke fire up his new lightsaber after R2-D2 launches it over to him is farking sweet.
 
2007-03-20 04:05:54 PM  
"Just when you think he's not there, you'll spot him hiding behind the potted plant in the corner. Such is the way of Lobot."

Comedy gold, right there.
 
2007-03-20 04:06:09 PM  
"Yeah, Sammy. It's a little known fact that the force is not some form of zen mysticism, but really nothing more than a species of micro-organisms known as 'midochlorians'. Now a fella with pretty high midichlorian count would make a damn fine Jedi."
"Cliff, that's the stupidest farking thing you've ever said."

Doc, could you uh check me for syphilis, gonorhea, and tell me if i could be a jedi?
 
2007-03-20 04:06:26 PM  
"you won't believe your eyes when you see the Xwing rise"
 
2007-03-20 04:06:50 PM  
2007-03-20 04:05:34 PM The_Sponge [TotalFark]

"Return of the Jedi" is still the best one, though.

you're on glue.

 
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