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(Wall Street Journal)   For your reading enjoyment, here's a list of 31 terrorist plots Khalid Sheikh Mohammad claims he masterminded, including 9/11, '93's WTC bombing, the Shoe Bomber and "American Idol"   ( divider line
    More: Scary  
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5707 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2007 at 6:08 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

214 Comments     (+0 »)

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2007-03-15 3:54:56 PM  
I guess that new torture they used on him really works. Problem is, now they can't seem to get him to stop confessing.

It loses its credibility when everyone starts to confess to everything.
2007-03-15 3:59:14 PM  
I'd like to confess to beating the crap out of Ron Dillard in eighth grade. I don't feel bad because his leg brace had been off nearly two months.
2007-03-15 3:59:41 PM  
It's not surprising that he's confessed to everything under the sun - we're "holding" his 9 and 7-year old sons to gain his cooperation.

But hey! We're the good guys, right?
2007-03-15 3:59:57 PM  
So is Usama innocent then? Have we been not looking for the wrong guy???
2007-03-15 4:00:11 PM  
Awesome! War on Terror OVER!
2007-03-15 4:02:27 PM  
So is Usama innocent then? Have we been not looking for the wrong guy???

I think we may owe someone an apology.

/bet this guy was behind all that Catholic/Protestant stuff in Ireland, too!
2007-03-15 4:02:52 PM  
When KSM was in third grade, he cheated on his history test. When he was in fourth grade, he stole his uncle Joseph's toupee and glued it to his face, because he was Moses in his Hebrew School play. When KSM was in fifth grade, he pushed his sister Edie down the stairs and blamed it on the dog. When he was in sixth grade, he did the worst thing ever. He had this fake vomit, and he went to the theater and sat in the balcony. He leaned over the edge and starting making noises like hua-hua-hua and threw the fake vomit over the edge. Soon everyone in the theater was going hua-hua-hua.
2007-03-15 4:04:49 PM  
This just: in Khalid Sheik Mohammad found to be the father of Anna Nicole's baby.
2007-03-15 4:04:49 PM  

That's exactly what I thought of when I read about his confession.
2007-03-15 4:05:59 PM  
Damn it.

Yet another instance of Jack Bauer not getting the credit he deserves.

/Is a loyal FoxNews Watcher
//Doesn't know the difference between 24 and reality
///No, really.
2007-03-15 4:06:38 PM  
I wonder why #28 has ellipses afterward?

Care to guess what is missing?
2007-03-15 4:06:58 PM  
I'll bet he got Futurama cancelled too.
2007-03-15 4:09:02 PM  
When I was 8 I stole a Dracula magnet from Boscov's Department Store.
I was so riddled with guilt that 2 days I later I went back and returned it.
2007-03-15 4:09:15 PM  
He killed Papa Doc with his voodoo.
2007-03-15 4:10:05 PM  
bboy Ha! Seriously. We're done folks! Pack it up, we're going home. Does this mean I don't have to take my clothes off at the airport anymore?
2007-03-15 4:10:22 PM  
"American Idol"?

Hangin's too good for him.
2007-03-15 4:10:52 PM  
Khalid Sheik Mohammad is singlehandedly responsible for the popularity of Paris Hilton, Tom Cruise and Fergie.
2007-03-15 4:12:08 PM  
BS! Everyone lies on their resume!

I bet all he did was run the photocopier and make the coffee.
2007-03-15 4:12:08 PM  
He also worked as an operative for
2007-03-15 4:12:10 PM  
9/11 + 30? My God! That's 30.818181818181818181818181818182!
2007-03-15 4:14:08 PM  
Oh dear sweet suffering Bob, that evil bastard confessed he was also the executive producer of Gigli.
2007-03-15 4:15:29 PM  
How long before he confesses to killing Adam Walsh?
2007-03-15 4:15:55 PM  
Khalid Sheik Mohammad poured beer on the Fark servers.
2007-03-15 4:17:01 PM  
Attacking Chicago, attacking Los Angeles, attempting to assassinate Presidents Clinton, George H.W. Bush, and Carter. Taking part in forging the Zimmerman Telegram and writing the Protocols of the Elders of Zion; rubbing down Barry Bonds; the 18-minute gap; clubbing Jon Benet to death with Jimmy Hoffa's femur; an unauthorized biography of Howard Hughes; revealing Thers name and address to right-wing bloggers; Piltdown Man; being the fifth dentist in the Trident commercials; trying to steal Whitney Houston away from both Bobby Brown AND Osama; the donation of Constantine; shacking up in the Pacific with Amelia Earhart; shooting Harry Whittington; being the inspiration for 'A Million Little Pieces'; molesting CNN anchorbots; not anticipating the breaching of the levees, or ironically anticipating flying planes into buildings; designing Tori Clark's suitcoats; blogging for Edwards 2008; replacing a restaurants expensive coffee with Folgers Crystals; belonging to Hannidate; that he eats aardvarks, armadillos, bears, boars, cats, bats, dawgs, hawgs, stoats, goats, yaks, and old gnus, but prefers ducks; watching "The World According to Jim"; choosing Barabas; laughing at Carrot Top; being a fugitive from OJ's justice; killing both Jerry Mathers & Mikey from the Life Cereal commericials in 'Nam; paying to see "Ishtar"; being Richard Hatch's financial advisor; plagiarizing Ben Domenech; clubbing Mrs. Richard Kimble to Death with Jimmy Hoffa's humorus bone; trying to put together a coalition of terror groups including rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shiat-kickers, RedState readers and Methodists; dumping Maureen Dowd because she was so clingy; and joining the John Podhoretz Handsome Man Modeling Agency.
2007-03-15 4:17:32 PM  
Oh wow.

FOX News is now reporting that he was the mastermind behind the shootings of J.R. Ewing, Gumby, and Mr. Burns.
2007-03-15 4:18:09 PM  
Is he Spartacus too?
2007-03-15 4:18:25 PM  
I'd confess to anything as long as they stopped waterboarding me!
2007-03-15 4:18:40 PM  
There are four lights!
2007-03-15 4:18:57 PM  
Khalid Sheik Mohammad shot J.R.
2007-03-15 4:19:35 PM  
Hey, now THAT'S interesting.

It says that he was responsible for New Coke.
2007-03-15 4:21:05 PM  
Khalid Sheik Mohammad created Vista.
2007-03-15 4:23:43 PM  
On a serious note. I love how this stuff comes out whenever a scandal involving the White House appears. It's so convenient.
2007-03-15 4:24:37 PM  
He broke the dam!
2007-03-15 4:25:40 PM  
He also murdered my father, shot my dog, and stole my Bible.
2007-03-15 4:28:11 PM  
Khalid Sheik Mohammed raped my pee-hole.
2007-03-15 4:28:46 PM  
He blew up the Death Star.
2007-03-15 4:28:59 PM  
He prevented my dog from finally getting enough cheese.
2007-03-15 4:29:40 PM  
He put snakes on a plane, didn't he? Bastard.

It's not surprising that he's confessed to everything under the sun - we're "holding" his 9 and 7-year old sons to gain his cooperation.

2007-03-15 4:31:33 PM  
KSM clogged my kitchen sink
2007-03-15 4:32:52 PM  
Khalid Sheik Mohammed made the mods greenlight a repeat thread
2007-03-15 4:34:51 PM  

The US supposedly has the custody of his seven and nine year old sons. (Don't know how reputable the source is)

It's almost certain we tortured him in any case.

According to the sources, CIA officers who subjected themselves to the water boarding technique lasted an average of 14 seconds before caving in. They said al Qaeda's toughest prisoner, Khalid Sheik Mohammed, won the admiration of interrogators when he was able to last between two and two-and-a-half minutes before begging to confess.
2007-03-15 4:36:09 PM  

Khalid Sheik Mohammed made the mods greenlight a repeat thread

Well, they greelit like 4 trollish headlines on Gonzales yesterday, why not?

/And this one is starting good
2007-03-15 4:42:34 PM  
He also ate all my goddamn oreos and shiat all over the living room furniture

/right turn khalid
2007-03-15 4:43:32 PM  
I refuse to repeat my (albeit late) rumored confessions. However, I have it from good sources that he did confess:

He jumped the shark
Founded the REAL
Is a lawyer for the RIAA
Hosts intergalactic keggers
Started the health food craze
Would like to go to Scotland, would like to wear a kilt
Broke the cookie jar
Was attracted to his 11th grade teacher
2007-03-15 4:48:24 PM  
Seriously, before I start to believe A WORD of this, I want a long and detailed explanation about how and why the government thought OBL was responsible for most\all of those things.
2007-03-15 4:57:38 PM  
4. I was responsible for the Shoe Bomber Operation to down two American airplanes.

While I realize that Richard Reid had two feet and, therefore, two exactly was this supposed to bring down two airplanes?

(or does this mean that there's a second, uncaught shoe-bomber out there?!)
2007-03-15 5:07:37 PM  
And, more importantly, did they knew when KSM was captured THREE YEARS AGO, that he was actually the terrorist mastermind we've been searching for?

Because this all sounds really, REALLY fishy. I don't know who, but I feel like someone has been piling on massive loads of BS.
2007-03-15 5:08:50 PM  
Why is this guy still breathing my H20?
2007-03-15 5:14:39 PM  
I produce the American version of American Idol.

So I'm getting a big kick out of these confessions.
2007-03-15 5:19:31 PM  
Bill_Wick's_Friend While I realize that Richard Reid had two feet and, therefore, two exactly was this supposed to bring down two airplanes?

Well, if he was Reid Richards, it's possible but it would be quite a stretch to believe...
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