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(KXAN.com) Hero Post Office tells you how to get rid of 90 percent of your junk mail   (kxan.com) divider line
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38956 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Feb 2007 at 12:06 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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totalsecurity
2007-02-23 11:18:33 PM  
FTFA: "The idea is to use the postage-paid return envelopes that come in bulk mail and send them back to the senders empty because they don't have to pay for the postage until the piece is actually sent."

I've been doing that for years.
 
Yagottabechittinme
2007-02-24 12:08:57 AM  
But does it work on e-mail?
 
maRox
2007-02-24 12:12:33 AM  
totalsecurity TF

Your 'name' may sound intimidating, Hubby has been doing the same. Personally, the non-glossy becomes firestarter in the morning woodstove, in the winter. Come late Spring, I must recycle, under 10 miles way.
 
vlad_carrion
2007-02-24 12:13:06 AM  
What about... fire?


/Well, if did use fire....
/No fire!
/I've got it... Fire! Or....
 
Jgsublime
2007-02-24 12:14:20 AM  
Just write return to sender on all that shiat. Your mail carrier gets the idea after about a week.
 
GoSpelunking
2007-02-24 12:14:25 AM  
Send it back to the senders EMPTY?

hahahahahaha

That's for Geneva Convention tree-hugging Level-0 NPC sissies with NO imagination.

Photoshop: What do YOU send back in the postage-paid return envelopes that come in bulk mail?

/a streetlight?

/EIP if you want to read my Big Bang Theory fanfic
 
moothemagiccow
2007-02-24 12:14:35 AM  
My girlfriend LIKES the flyers.

Beat that.
 
The Voice of Doom
2007-02-24 12:17:45 AM  
totalsecurity
I've been doing that for years.

I got discouraged after I found out that the AOL CDs wouldn't fit into the envelopes the lottery had sent.
 
AntiNorm
2007-02-24 12:18:23 AM  
Jgsublime: Just write return to sender on all that shiat. Your mail carrier gets the idea after about a week.


After I moved, I did that for a short while on credit card spam I was getting that had been forwarded to my new address. I would write 'RETURN TO SENDER' in large letters using a marker.

The post office re-delivered the mail (to my old address).

/Chief Pajama Wearer
 
sinn0cent
2007-02-24 12:18:40 AM  
how about opting out when signing up for things. 90% of companies have to ask to share your personal info with their other affiliates. If you are already getting too much junk mail than move and start over lol
 
ArmoredFelix
2007-02-24 12:19:30 AM  
What's fun to do is go into a thread that you didn't rtfa, and just start spouting off nonsense. I do this, and highly reccommend for the rest of you farks. It's a pleasurable sensual way to pass the time. Kinda like masturbation but without the sticky goo on your wife's face.
 
GoSpelunking
2007-02-24 12:20:56 AM  
Moothemagiccow, I bet you're codependant. You're like, Oooo! Yeah, great! when she comes up with the two-for-one special flyer for Red Lobster. You load her up into your Chevy Nova, shove the pop cans and old second-class mail back away from the pedals again, and toodle on off to the interstate strip mall for all-you-can-eat shrimp celebration...and you never, never think for one moment that you've become part of the problem.
 
flypusher713
2007-02-24 12:21:10 AM  
I like the free bird cage liner.

/Won't someone think of the little birdies!!
 
ImprovOmega
2007-02-24 12:22:24 AM  
The Voice of Doom

I got discouraged after I found out that the AOL CDs wouldn't fit into the envelopes the lottery had sent.

They fit fine if you break them in half first =)

/I'm sweating like a sinner in church.
 
alostpacket
2007-02-24 12:24:30 AM  
GoSpelunking
Flag for you: 15 yard penalty for too many unnrelated cliches in a single post
 
maxjenius
2007-02-24 12:25:20 AM  
GoSpelunking
What do YOU send back in the postage-paid return envelopes that come in bulk mail?

AIDS on a stick™.

/sometimes I feel like a banana in a bowl of apples.
 
Relatively Obscure [recently expired TotalFark]
2007-02-24 12:25:25 AM  
KXAN's Jim Swift says, "What do you do with your junk mail?"
Postal Service Patron Betsy Heavner says, "It sits in my car for about two weeks until the pouch gets too full and then I throw it away."
Swift asks, "You don't even read it?"
Heavner says, "No."

Swift asks, "You don't even look at it?"
Postal Service Patron Ls Nichols says, "No."
Swift asks, "Why not?"
Nichols says, "Because I can tell by the cover and I rip it in half and throw it away."


What is this, Curious George Gets Junk Mail?
 
jess07
2007-02-24 12:25:48 AM  
My postmaster claims to be a master at many things... especially baiting...
 
LessO2
2007-02-24 12:27:29 AM  
I've been sending the postage pre-paid envelopes back for awhile now as well.

When they send the little fake credit card in the mail, I put that in the envelope as well.

Further....annoying flyers I get on my door? I tear them up, put them in side a folded 8.5 X 11 piece of paper and write on the sheet "you forgot something at my house." Perfect, since when they open up the envelope and unfold the letter, they get the flyer back, all torn up and at their feet.
 
theeagle
2007-02-24 12:29:28 AM  
This thread is a REPEAT.From a couple days ago.. But I don't care anyways.

But in Washington state,you have to have a garbage bag in your car for all that garbage you leave on the floor anyways..

But I use that outgoing mailbox on the corner to help me recycle all that junk mail back to the post office, since they have the necessary equipment to send it to the paper mill for slicing and dicing..
 
balin007
2007-02-24 12:29:56 AM  
moothemagiccow: My girlfriend LIKES the flyers.

Beat that.

Shut UP!

My Damn wife likes them to, if you spread this idea, more people will hate you as well!
 
GoSpelunking
2007-02-24 12:30:21 AM  
bah, I am a Calvinball type...we don't need no stinkin' referee. Go touch the opposite pole and sing the Very Sorry Song.

I've been reading Wiki on "direct mail marketing." Quick and lazy quote:

According to 50 Simple Things You Can Do To Save The Earth:

Each year, 100 million trees are used to produce junk mail.
250,000 homes could be heated with one day's supply of junk mail.
Americans receive almost 4 million tons of junk mail every year. [2]
The yearly production and disposal of junk mail consumes more energy than 2.8 million cars.

(Of course, those of us who put our junk mail back in the various postpaid envelopes and send it back make all of the above problems worse, I guess.)
 
cankersnore
2007-02-24 12:31:32 AM  
I love how direct-mail marketing companies refer to junk-mail as a "free speech" issue. Somehow I doubt the people who wrote the Bill of Rights were concerned with "the right to bombard people with coupons they don't want."
 
GoSpelunking
2007-02-24 12:32:36 AM  
It would stop if they lost their government-protected discount rate. I don't get junk mail via Fed Ex and UPS. There's no wondering why not.

/secretly loves K-pop
 
Oznog
2007-02-24 12:32:38 AM  
The idea is to use the postage-paid return envelopes that come in bulk mail and send them back to the senders empty because they don't have to pay for the postage until the piece is actually sent.

Actually, people have noted that the "Return postage paid" stamp has NO postage limit associated with it. Some people probably do use it for product returns or things with significant mass and size.

So people have taped the "Postage Paid" postcard to a brick and sent it back.
 
totalsecurity
2007-02-24 12:33:03 AM  
I put everything back in the pre-paid envelope, including the envelope they sent it in.

Now I get hardly any.
 
huntertom
2007-02-24 12:35:20 AM  
Honestly, I don't have any issue with direct marketing by mail. They're paying for the paper, the ad, the delivery. At least it's ethical even if it's annoying.

Now spam, that's an entirely different matter altogether. Spammers are farking thieves. The ISP pays for the delivery, storage and processing power to filter it from their systems. They lose customers who tire of spam. Some have their networks placed on RBL's if they're unfortunate to share an adjacent IP block with spammers.

Spammers also forge mail delivery to cause backscatter and complaints to be sent to innocent third parties.

And the Direct Marketing Association is partly to blame. They had a chance a long time ago to speak out against opt-out as a standard but they gave the EXACT same argument that you will read about in this article with regards to direct marketing.

It is for this reason I will always despise all marketing and marketers.
 
GoSpelunking
2007-02-24 12:36:34 AM  
Now I'm wondering how I can spin this into a sneaky scam to get lots of free bricks. Mwhahaha.

(I need a 3-1/2' brick wall.)
 
AntiNorm
2007-02-24 12:36:49 AM  
cankersnore: I love how direct-mail marketing companies refer to junk-mail as a "free speech" issue.


If I'm not mistaken, telemarketers have used that argument as well.
 
L.Darte
2007-02-24 12:38:00 AM  
One simple way of limiting junk mail is for the post office to start charging the same postage for junk mail as regular mail. Why give junk mail a discount? Why should Joe Homeowner be forced to pay higher rates in order to subsidize junk mail? Make the bastards pay double the rate.
 
rppp01a
2007-02-24 12:39:16 AM  
Anyone notice that 3 of the 4 addresses are the 3 major credit companies? They track your credit scores. Basically, they control your ability to have credit and so on.
 
GoSpelunking
2007-02-24 12:39:45 AM  
It's not ethical because they get a delivery rate that is below the actual cost of delivering the stuff, when their flimsy mailers cost the most trouble with sorting equipment, and when the rest of us are subsidizing the extra cost to the post office by paying more than our fair share for their "free speech." Companies which offer no discount for marketing materials don't carry them, and countries whose nationalized postal system don't offer a discount don't have a junk mail problem. Surprisingly, those consumers survive--they manage to find their furniture, linens, food, siding, viagra, and shelter anyway.
 
Aulus
2007-02-24 12:40:54 AM  
I've been doing this for years.

If they are so gaadam stupid as to enclose a postage paid return envelope, they are just begging to get farked with.

Case in point, a couple of credit card companies. I sent back all of their solicitations, stuffed into the return envelope along with a letter informing them that they were to never, ever send me this shiat again. If they did, I would regard it as harrassment and would respond accordingly.

Sure enough, they sent their crap again and with another postage paid returen envelope. I tossed all of it into a box with the postage paid return envelope taped to it along with a brick and a letter telling them that if they did not stop, the next response would be with two bricks and escalating until they finally got the message.

I do not get those mailings any more.
 
VulgarMind
2007-02-24 12:41:12 AM  
Returning them empty lacks creativity. How about a used Q-tip?
 
Cyberluddite [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2007-02-24 12:43:18 AM  
Still, critics have suggested a kind of "hit 'em in the pocketbook" guerrilla campaign. The idea is to use the postage-paid return envelopes that come in bulk mail and send them back to the senders empty because they don't have to pay for the postage until the piece is actually sent.

I've been doing this for years--in addition to the personal satisfaction I get from knowing that it's costing junk mailers money, it provides revenue to the USPS, who keeps raising rates because of a claimed lack of revenue resulting from decreased use of mail.

For persistent credit card offerers, I also send back the applications I receive, and write on it in big letters in Magic Marker "NO. TAKE ME OFF YOUR MAILING LIST AND STOP SENDING YOUR CRAP." That usually works.
 
theatrus
2007-02-24 12:44:48 AM  
Aulus

A box with the postage paid envelope gets delivered? Whoa...
 
GoSpelunking
2007-02-24 12:46:40 AM  
I love this. I can declutter my house now. Mwahahaha.

Let's see, Citibank gets the stained old outgrown clothes....

The company that wants to replace all my windows can have the old carpet from the back room...maybe they can use it to pad their glass or something....
 
L.Darte
2007-02-24 12:47:52 AM  
Better idea: take all the crap from one junk mailer and use it to stuff the return envelope to another junk mailer (and vice-versa).
 
TempusRob
2007-02-24 12:50:02 AM  
L.Darte: Better idea: take all the crap from one junk mailer and use it to stuff the return envelope to another junk mailer (and vice-versa).

While I'm not one to believe what I read on Bash.org ... it may have been done!
 
Lamune_Baba
2007-02-24 12:52:01 AM  
I don't mind the junk mail so much. Except for the damned credit card applications.

"Hi! We're putting large amounts of your personal information into an envelope and putting it in your mailbox! You worry about destroying it!"

There needs to be laws against that shiat. One stolen envelope and you can get your credit farked up for years with little to no recourse.
 
nukkel
2007-02-24 12:53:10 AM  
2007-02-24 12:41:12 AM VulgarMind : Returning them empty lacks creativity. How about a used Q-tip?

you are a sissy. i send a dna sample in the form of fap gravy. and a lughee.
/kidding
//or am i?
///sinus infection i got would provide adequate ammo...
///\ actually the used qtip is pretty sweet . heh.
\\\time for cipro, syzurrp and bed
 
Dear Jerk
2007-02-24 12:53:51 AM  
I could get rid of 90% of my male junk and people would still be annoyed with it.

/invented a new color and named it after myself
 
Gosling
2007-02-24 12:54:48 AM  
Wasn't there a Dilbert that suggested using it to heat your house? Just toss it in the furnace and watch the heating bills go down?
 
jjeff1
2007-02-24 12:56:56 AM  
For credit card offers, call the phone number they give you and ask to be placed on their "do not solicit" list. It'll take a couple weeks, but the letters will stop.


I assume that would work for other stuff too.
 
SchlingFo
2007-02-24 12:58:29 AM  
Jgsublime: Your mail carrier gets the idea after about a week.

The mail carrier will continue to deliver mail to your address unless/until you put in a change of address or a hold on your mail.

You can get the same piece of mail from the same company every single day, you can RTS that piece of mail every day, and the carrier will continue to deliver that piece of mail every day.

Legally, they are not allowed to simply decide not to deliver something to you just because they may think you don't want it.
 
jess07
2007-02-24 12:58:55 AM  
Gimme an A ^^^
 
jgeisle
2007-02-24 12:59:10 AM  
1) Tape the junk mail item to a box with a brick in it and mark it "return to sender".

2) Post office returns it to sender with postage due.

3) Profit?
 
linuxbox
2007-02-24 12:59:12 AM  
And for those who don't have gobs of time on their hands and don't take everything as a personal attack on themselves, we throw it in the garbage as soon as we see it. Then we stop thinking about it.

I've got shiat to do
 
GoSpelunking
2007-02-24 1:00:57 AM  
"Do not solicit" seems too, too tame when you really wanna scream, "I finally figured out that if I pay you jerks off completely and live within my means, I won't have to see a bankruptcy judge every seven years--and nobody will have a desire to carjack my too fancy upside down gas guzzler and kill my ass with a shotgun blast! It's all good!"
 
LessO2
2007-02-24 1:01:24 AM  
linuxbox

And for those who don't have gobs of time on their hands and don't take everything as a personal attack on themselves, we throw it in the garbage as soon as we see it. Then we stop thinking about it.

I've got shiat to do


Hey Franklin Covey, if you're so busy, then why did you bother to reply here?

And does sealing an empty envelope take so long?
 
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