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(Telegraph)   Looks like it's time to add Valentine's Day bouquets to the list of things you are personally doing to destroy the planet   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line
    More: Stupid  
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6425 clicks; posted to Main » and Fandom » on 12 Feb 2007 at 1:03 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



77 Comments     (+0 »)


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ZAZ [TotalFark]
2007-02-12 11:55:09 AM  
So now she has to have imported flowers? Sorry, I don't do the slaughtering-plants-to-buy-affection thing.
 
2007-02-12 11:59:59 AM  
Good thing I don't live in Britain.
 
2007-02-12 12:14:29 PM  
Damn hippies ruin everything.
 
2007-02-12 12:42:02 PM  
I always thought flowers were a stupid gift. I mean they die in a few days and then what? My husband has woken me up a Saturday or two with a fresh bouquet of wild flowers from our woods, but spending $150 for a dozen roses is crazy.
 
2007-02-12 1:05:29 PM  
Not I, said the fly!
 
2007-02-12 1:06:12 PM  
I for one will do my duty to destroy the planet this week when I buy not one but two dozen roses for my wife. Hey I might even note on the card that I am destroying the enviroment for her.

/Ecowarriors are getting even nuttier than ever.
 
2007-02-12 1:07:02 PM  
/forget flowers
/fix teeth
 
2007-02-12 1:09:13 PM  
I was looking for something to destroy the planet THIS WEEK. next week is too late.
 
2007-02-12 1:09:43 PM  
Cool. This is good. I'm always on the lookout for things that I can intentionally do to destroy the planet. There ain't room for the both of us and I won't rest until I see this planet dead.
 
2007-02-12 1:10:24 PM  
Personally, I feel that V-day is one of those lame "holidays" concocted by some idiot to fuel the greeting card industry (and the floral and diamond industry) just to guilt guys into buying stuff. Down south here in FL, we also have "Sweetest Day", another useless concocted "holiday". IMO these "holidays" should just be removed from the calendars.
 
2007-02-12 1:11:16 PM  
and on a % basis the florists are laughing and the oil company's earnings statements.

/worked for a florist wholesaler at one point in my life - you would really not believe how bad the markup is - worse than any other industry
//except maybe medical / pharmaceutical
 
2007-02-12 1:12:22 PM  
that should have been at the oil company's earnings
 
2007-02-12 1:16:36 PM  
Aren't cheap, abundant fossil fuels great? They make it affordable for the average schmuck to purchase necessities like fancy flowers grown in third-world countries halfway across the globe.
 
2007-02-12 1:17:22 PM  
From diamonds to flowers, this is just more proof that it is women who are destroying the planet and oppressing human rights. When will this nightmare of oppresion end?

/when men stop trying to pay for sex
 
2007-02-12 1:20:44 PM  
Oh, just shut the fark up already.

Somebody isn't getting flowers for Valentine's day now, is she?

/knew it was a female writer before looking at the article
 
2007-02-12 1:21:43 PM  
Buy a locally-grown rosebush or other perennial and offer to plant it for her (assuming you live in a place where stuff can be put in the ground in February). If she doesn't appreciate that gesture, then maybe she's not much of a catch anyway.


Of course, if you're not thinking long-term and are just trying to get laid on Wednesday night, by all means buy the roses. :-)
 
2007-02-12 1:21:50 PM  
I think that they exaggerate when they say that the flowers travel 33,800 miles.

The Earth is less than 25,000 miles around.

.
 
2007-02-12 1:23:20 PM  
The culprit:

[image from mutantreviewers.com too old to be available]
 
2007-02-12 1:23:41 PM  
Honestly, with fresh water quickly becoming (more of) a valuable resource, I can't believe flower farms haven't been catching a lot of flak lately.
 
2007-02-12 1:24:24 PM  
PsyLord

Not getting any are you? I find that most people that dislike Valintines day feel such because they are unsuccessful in securing a date for said day.

BTW, most holidays are used by advertisers to hock crap that none of us need. I too would ignore Sweetness day, that sounds like a gay version of Valintines.
 
2007-02-12 1:25:03 PM  
I like flowers, and I usually ask for them from friends on my birthday, but I don't honestly expect a perfect bouquet of roses from God knows where.

The $5 bunch of mixed flowers from the grocery store is just as good--I like the ones with two or three roses thrown in, with a really brilliant color set. I know that measly $5 adds up over time, but they last about a week and compensate for the fact that I can't grow anything.
 
2007-02-12 1:25:17 PM  
Scrounger: The culprit:

Moonbeam!! Nice reference!!!
 
2007-02-12 1:25:57 PM  
Don't look at me. I'm bringing down the average.

/Holy shiat - £39 UK pounds per year?
 
2007-02-12 1:26:02 PM  
Forget about the global warming connection. Just look at what the massive flower farms are doing in parts of Africa. Kenya's a great example. Lake Naivasha, and to some extent Lake Nakuru, is being drained to water hothouses full of flowers for export. It creates local employment for some, but the environmental effects and the impacts on local farming/food production are potentially disastrous. You can see the miles and miles of greenhouses around Lake Naivasha on google earth, and it's not even particularly good resolution in that area.
 
2007-02-12 1:28:07 PM  
What about a bunch of fake flowers? They look pretty and they don't die.

I think flowers are a nice gesture. Not a gift. A gift is something you can use.
 
2007-02-12 1:29:43 PM  
sarek_smile

I think that they exaggerate when they say that the flowers travel 33,800 miles.

The Earth is less than 25,000 miles around.


Based on common distribution models I suppose it is possible for a total trip to be that long when you factor in the many levels required to get the flowers from field to market. Remember, shipping models in poor nations suck.

However, this is probably a worst case scenario.
 
2007-02-12 1:29:46 PM  
The very same people who would scold you for not supporting the developing economies of these "other" oppressed countries are scolding you for supporting the economies of these "other" oppressed countries.

/carry on
 
2007-02-12 1:29:47 PM  
The girl I'm seeing, her last name translates as "Flower", and I always called her my "Passion Flower".

This summer I actually found some wild vines growing, and I've been nurturing a cut I made off of it till it rooted, and planted it.

My cat loves flowers and it's been a constant battle (sorta like Ferdinand the bull) to keep him away from it, but I'm giving that to her. I had to buy a UV kit to get them to bloom and a space heater to keep the room at 80f for the past few weeks, but they are in full blossom. All that experience of how to grow hydro actually came in handy.

So suck it, environmentalists. Some of us try.

[image from shooterdog.com too old to be available]
 
2007-02-12 1:30:44 PM  
I have never figured out why women want the cut off part of the genitalia of plants. Should I also get her a bowl of bull's penises and testis? They are the same thing.
 
2007-02-12 1:33:10 PM  
misanthropologist

Show her you'd rape the environement in Africa for her all over again...
 
2007-02-12 1:39:16 PM  
Like I care.

/Just ordered some roses to be delivered to my g/f.
//I ordered a mylar balloon with the flowers...that will piss off the hippies as well.
 
2007-02-12 1:39:26 PM  
PsyLord: Personally, I feel that V-day is one of those lame "holidays" concocted by some idiot to fuel the greeting card industry (and the floral and diamond industry) just to guilt guys into buying stuff. Down south here in FL, we also have "Sweetest Day", another useless concocted "holiday". IMO these "holidays" should just be removed from the calendars.

Hey don't forget to stop and get the jergens lotion on your way home from work tomorrow.
 
2007-02-12 1:39:56 PM  
A few years, one of those fun loving Brits gave their queen a bouquet of marijuana. You'd think that would have caught on by now.

See picture and story below, too lazy to html:
http://www.ccnews.org.uk/queen.jpeg
http://www.mapinc.org/drugnews/v00.n1545.a01.html
 
2007-02-12 1:40:12 PM  
I told my husband years ago to skip the pesticide-laden Columbian carnations and roses and give me the first bouquet of organic flowers grown at a friend's farm each year. Sure it's not ON Valentine's Day, but I can put my nose in those flowers and really enjoy them without the fear of snorting up a bunch of cancer. Plus, they're locally grown.
 
2007-02-12 1:40:51 PM  
Meh... I've never given my sweetheart roses for St. Valentines day. It's an utterly thoughtless, cliche gift devoid of any romance whatsoever.

Instead each year I go buy a bunch of pretty flowers, and arrange them myself into a huge bouquet for her. I'll put one single rose in it somewhere. I usually end up spending at least as much, if not more, than I would have spent on roses.

Doing it this way I think I make my point well. I've spent as much money - and more effort - than just going out and thoughtlessly buying a bunch of the flowers the TV told me to get. She's loved it for 5 years straight so far, and this year will be 6.

I love any excuse for a holiday, but being told so VERY specifically what to do on it I will *never* accept. I'd ditch the flowers entirely, but my lady really likes what I do with them, so they stay.
 
2007-02-12 1:41:22 PM  
Why not ALL FOODS? Using their logic, most foods you buy in the supermarket are shipped via truck, plane or ship and therefore cause damage to the environment.
 
2007-02-12 1:42:07 PM  
Valentine's Day should be an occasion for love and joy. There seems to be a legion of grumps that gripe about its existence.

They don't have to play, but why spoil it for other people.

A simple bouquet of daisies melts my heart.

I admit, I'm corny.
 
2007-02-12 1:42:30 PM  
baby_hewey:Not getting any are you? I find that most people that dislike Valintines day feel such because they are unsuccessful in securing a date for said day.

Nah, I'm engaged. I just dislike the idea that men spend way more money compared to women (a recent survey seems to support this assertion). Where is women's lib? You can't have your cake and eat it too. If women want to be treated as equals, then fork over the cash and give the guys an equally expensive gift for V-day, etc.
 
2007-02-12 1:45:01 PM  
Meh, the wife just wants to spend time (because my work schedule sucks), so we spend a whole weekend together...doing, uh...things, without the aid of roses, candy, or useless cards

/ She's taking me to Borat
// She thinks Jackass 2 is awesome
/// Ya, she rules
 
2007-02-12 1:47:47 PM  
PsyLord: Nah, I'm engaged. I just dislike the idea that men spend way more money compared to women (a recent survey seems to support this assertion). Where is women's lib? You can't have your cake and eat it too. If women want to be treated as equals, then fork over the cash and give the guys an equally expensive gift for V-day, etc.

Anyone wanna take over under bets on when his attitude will change after he gets married?
 
2007-02-12 1:53:51 PM  
What's your carnation footprint?
 
2007-02-12 1:54:26 PM  
EVERYONE STOP BREATHING!

YOU'RE ALL USING UP MOTHER EARTH'S PRECIOUS OXYGEN!
 
2007-02-12 1:55:50 PM  
May be cliche', but had a dozen roses delivered to my sweetie at her work. She called, loves the flowers, so...the "planet" can go pout in a corner until it gets its dozen roses, at which point it will probably change its tune very quickly.

/Do you see how I completely slaughtered the Knights who say Ni?!
 
2007-02-12 2:08:23 PM  
Honestly, with fresh water quickly becoming (more of) a valuable resource, I can't believe flower farms haven't been catching a lot of flak lately.

With all of the supposed melting of the polar ice caps, I don't see how this is a problem.
 
2007-02-12 2:10:39 PM  
[image from akimages.crossmediaservices.com too old to be available]
I say those Vermont Teddy Bear Co. commericals with the three chicks whining about the friggin' "Love Bandit" are causing way more environmental damage than roses on V-day.

/I hate that commerical
//Can't the women on that commerical find some cheap porno movie to star in?
 
2007-02-12 2:16:04 PM  
Can we add "existing" to the list? I'd be for removing about half of the population from the planet (preferabely selectively). :D
 
2007-02-12 2:16:59 PM  
The "Love Bandit" looks a little too much like Ron Jeremy for my tastes.
 
2007-02-12 2:28:44 PM  
http://www.lucidcentral.org/keys/v3/cutflowers/key/Cut%20Flower%20Exports%20of %20Africa/Media/Html/Other/Cut_flower_trade.htm


United States imports

The U.S., along with Germany, the Netherlands, the United Kingdom, Switzerland, Italy, France, and Japan are the major world consumer markets for cut flowers. Asia, particularly China, is expected to become the largest consumer market in the world within the next few decades. In the U.S. alone, more than $13 billion retail worth of flowers are sold annually. Although the U.S. itself produces flowers, over half of the flowers sold are imported (Table 2).


http://www.laborrights.org/projects/flowers_index.htm

The Campaign will raise awareness in the US about labor rights violations and health and safety problems in the cut flower industry in Ecuador and Colombia, and seek improvements through action in the US and Latin America.

A survey of 8000 workers in plantations near Bogotá found that workers were exposed to 127 different pesticides,
Two-thirds of Colombian and Ecuadorian flower workers suffer from work-related health problems, including headaches, nausea, impaired vision, conjunctivitis, rashes, asthma, stillbirths, miscarriages, congenital malformations and respiratory and neurological problems.

In Ecuador, child labor is also a problem in the flower industry, and pesticide exposure affects children more severely than adults. The ILO estimates that 20% of the 60,000 Ecuadorian flower workers are children.


And you wonder why those ingrate foreigners hate you.
 
2007-02-12 2:29:35 PM  
easily solved. buy local.
 
2007-02-12 2:34:32 PM  
Shadowspawn

I had to buy a UV kit to get them to bloom and a space heater to keep the room at 80f for the past few weeks, but they are in full blossom. All that experience of how to grow hydro actually came in handy.

So suck it, environmentalists. Some of us try.


If your "trying" involves wasting energy on UV lights and speace heaters to grow a stupid flower, they're too busy crying to suck it.

Some folks don't get it.
 
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